The Original Chaos Comment Q&A.
--The many lawyers of Discord warn and apologize in advance for any confusion or chaos you may experience in reading the unfiltered words of Discord.
This began as a desperate attempt of Discord's to get the world at large to understand him.
Then it became a frustrated attempt to clarify his explanations.
Third he got on Vinyl Scratch's Radio show, and his ego was reborn.
After that, he was thrown back in the stone suit for a while, saved the world, and came back to insult his fans.
Thanks to an insane fan, he proceeded to write his own holy book, leaving us all doomed.
He then hit 1000 views, and threw a palooza. Yeah, a palooza.
Things took a bad turn after that, and he went on tour with his sister/alt double. He was definitely not banished.
With that behind him, Discord decided to host a The Contest. It was a huge hit, and the prizes begin to unfold...
The first prize was a challenge in the Epic Rap Battles of Equestria. Discord vs. Zecora!
Discord left his fans alone for 2.5 years, but has come out of retirement because he is #outraged!
I love you.
But seriously, this needs a feature. NOW.
I went back in time, got my mother pregnant and caused a paradox. One step a head of being a god.
But every now and then I disappear. It tickles... In a bad way
[lease make more
*reads* *rofls at list of what Celestia did wrong* so funny...
omsc this is funny
paradoxes? Oh, you mean like the Toclafane killing us, their ancestors? Well, it is a paradox, and isn't possible unless you have cannibalised a TARDIS and made it a Paradox Machine.
You're welcome.
Okay. This is a fun idea, and it's done in a fun way- Discord monologuing about who he is and what he does, in his characteristic voice with a number of fun digressions. What I don't get is this: sometimes he seems to be aware of the world beyond the show and sometimes he doesn't. The title, chapter title, summary, and lines where he addresses Fluttershy or mares in general as part of his audience all suggest that this is an in-universe perspective- he's writing this for ponies and other residents of Equestria to read- but mentions of ponies as "characters" and references to the author and bronies in general suggest an entirely different perspective in which he's aware of the human, FiM-watching audience and talking to us instead. There's nothing necessarily wrong with having both interpretations in the same story- we all enjoy when Pinkie Pie seems to look at the camera or set up a joke specifically for our benefit, for instance, and it doesn't take us out of the story because from the other characters' perspectives she's just being Pinkie Pie. But in this case, I feel like either Discord should choose the ponies or the bronies as his target audience and stick with that choice, or at least acknowledge that switching back and forth is one of the strange things he's doing. When he specifically addresses Fluttershy and mentions a "brony", for instance- Fluttershy doesn't know what that means. What's the point of saying it to her?
Oh, and the phrase you're looking for in paragraphs five and six is "soup tureen".
2317937
I asked Discord this very question as he was having me write his words down, and he simply told me there was no fun in making sense. How original, right?
Anyways, if I had to guess, I would say that either Discord believes that bronies and this collection of rumors regarding him and his dating life are actually all originating from within the world of Equestria, or that he believes the show to be a sitcom of sorts and all within are simply acting out characters. Then again, it is Discord we are talking about, maybe his perspective changes at random as well?
Beyond that, all we can do is guess. But I will ask him for more details if he decides to do a follow up to this message, and I will try to get him to at least mention the distinction.
Thanks for your concern,
MaeceusMan
PS: Thank you for the correction of "soup tureen", I have already made the adjustment.
2315266 or when the angles made a time battery
˙ǝɥɔɐʇsnoɯ ɐ ǝʌɐɥ
˙sıɥʇ ƃuıʎoɾuǝ ʎllɐǝɹ ɯɐ ı ˙oʌɐɹq
Should be a paradox, right? Nope! I'm Discord! Why is it not a paradox? Again, it's because I am Discord! that was so funny
Wait, this isn't a one shot?
BRILLIANCE!
...
well Discord might know The Master and have a spike
Was that me who got referenced in the "becoming your own father" thing?
If so, strange.
Discord? Why not make the trash cans around Canterlot walk around and hunt the garbage? Wouldn't that be fun AND not completely freak everypony out?
<3 DarqFox
"Cookies that radiate chaos energy" How do you get that type of food anyways? the type that radiates chaos energy i mean.
Confused and laughing like a madpony~
Diplomat of the Ender Legion and leader of the Equestrian branch
Um... Discord? Why would you bake cookies for Octavia, and make them etropy-active? That's not how you go about making friends to join you in your madness. I'd know. I have seventeen Discordian friends.
<3 DarqFox
2343398 Discord, my flowers have stopped squirting acid
Now they just emit this stupid deadly toxin
Is this bad?
2341740
Simple. Cook with an energy source from the Sonic universe.
Chaos emeralds, baby.
Yo, Discordiant Chaos, I've got a question that I'm sure all of your readers want to know.
What does Poison Joke do to you? Come to think of it, it sounds like something you'd create for a laugh. Did you invent Poison Joke?
Peace out,
Yarn Purl (male, genderbent name is Knitasha)
As a god, do you have any loyal disciples? Perhaps you should write your own holy book.
ʎonɹ ɟıɔ ıs ɐʍǝsoɯǝ
∀up ʎon sɥonlp ɟǝǝl ɐʍǝsoɯǝ˙
qǝɔɐnsǝ ʎon ɐɹǝ ɐʍǝsoɯǝ˙
Ok question:
If i were to insert Chaos Bacon in the candies i make, and give them to the princesses,
Would you be blamed?
~~-I like bacon-,Bon Bon ~~ (...i should have opened a bacon store...)
Hai again, Discord. You should remember me. But then again, you're busy dealing with Madame Sun-Troll, so I may have slipped your mind.
My question this time around is this: If chaos is the inverse of order, and if chaos were to become order, would that make order chaos?
<3 DarqFox
Hello, my great and powerful lord.
I have a question that in no way pertains to shipping.
Could you ever see yourself as a father, having to raise an infant that has the same powers as you do?
Well Discord, it seems we don't go to the same clinic. You go to the one in Canterlot, I stick to mine in the Everfree where the real fun is. And mine is "The Clinic for the Severely Eccentric", not "Chaosians Anonymous".
My next question: Do you flirt with Celestia to piss her off, or because deep down you like her?
<3 DarqFox
Discord have you ever used gossip to make chaos?
I regret NOTHING!!!
Discord, I want you to meet a friend of mine, one who loves chaos just as much as you! AND he has reality-bending powers, too! JANEMBA!
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110222205056/dragonball/images/a/a5/Janemba_2nd_Form.jpg
Of course, he's a little on the stupid side, so... he MIGHT end up blowing something up randomly. If this happens, insult him. His weakness is insults. Yes, I know, it's weird. Depending upon how badly he takes the insult, he takes even more damage. Just insult him when he's bad, and you should be fine. By the way, he also might end up opening a gate to Hell due to his mere presence. And by hell, I do NOT mean Tartarus. That is simply a set of subterranean tunnels filled with heartless creatures. What I'm talking about is the hell. Like, where evil people go when they kick the bucket Hell. If this happens, do not worry. Disciplinary action should result in closing of the portal, and if that fails, a combination of your own powers and the Elements of Harmony (as grotesque as it sounds) should do the trick. If that don't work, THROW THE SUN AT IT!
And you have absolutely NO say in accepting him. He is to be in your care for two weeks, while I prepare a proper magical seal for him. If you don't want to care for him after, then I shall take him back and find another place to raise him. But until then, I'm going to need you to watch him. It's not exactly EASY to make a magical seal and tend to a demon that bends reality who has the mentality of a four-year-old.
3325908 Here is a link to all of Janemba's abilities, so you know what to expect.
Thankyou for answering my question, My Lord.
Thankyou for the streamers. I shall treasure them always.
I hope old Sunbutt enjoyed her time in Hell Jersey. Chaos knows she deserved it.
Greetings, Oh Mighty and Handsome One.
If I am not wasting your time, I would like to share a tale of one of my recent interactions involving Chaos.
I was enjoying my day as usual, when suddenly a bright light goes off and I end up starring face to face with a Draconequus! For the slightest of seconds I believed it was you and was prepared to drop to my knees and worship it... before I took in its features, its particularly feminine features. She looked to be in her teens and introduced herself as Eris.
I was wondering if you know of this individual?
Thankyou for your time, My Lord.
Dear Mr Discord I have a great Chaotic friend for you he's a the head greater daemon of Tzeentch he has two heads, sure he may mutter on about two possible futures but all in all he's a great daemon to be around his name is Kairos Fatewaver. Though to summon him would take a thousand souls in sacrifice in a torturous blood sacrifice and would bring about the end of all things orderly and bring the mighty pantheon of gods and corrupt all who can be corrupted, the Chaos Gods I'm talking about are Khorne, also called the Blood God, is the Chaos God of blood, war and murder. Within the Realm of Chaos his domain covers the most basic and brutal of sentient emotions and actions, such as hate, anger, rage, war and killing. Every act of killing or murder in the material universe gives Khorne power; the more senseless and destructive, the better. Khornates take no artful approach to killing, seeking only to slay rather than to inflict pain, because while the blood of their victims strengthens Khorne, their suffering actually empowers his nemesis Slaanesh. The name "Khorne" derives from his name in Chaos' Dark Tongue, Kharneth, meaning "Lord of Rage" or "Lord of Blood". He is the mightiest and the second oldest of the four major Chaos Gods, after Grandfather Nurgle. He is also known as the Lord of Skulls. Khorne is said to have inherited a martial nobility and honour, and considers the weak and helpless to be unworthy of his wrath. The battle-cry of the followers of Khorne reflects his desire for wanton violence: "Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Throne of Khorne!" Alternatively, they may cry, "Skulls for the Skull Throne!" In the throes of violence, Khorne's followers are also known to bellow, "KILL! MAIM! BURN!" repeatedly while hacking apart their enemies. Followers of Slaanesh, who Khornates see as degenerate scum who kill only for pleasure rather than simple slaughter, are favored foes to go up against in battle. Khorne's number is eight, reflected in the organization of his armies, and in smaller matters such as the number of syllables in a daemonic follower's name. Where possible, his warriors will form up into squads of this number. His primary colors are blood red, black and brass. Also note; his mark looks vaguely like a figure of eight or a stylized human skull.
Slaanesh, the Dark Prince, is the Chaos God of Pleasure, Passion, and Decadence. Within the Realm of Chaos hir domain is that of all mortal sin, especially those of the flesh. Lust, pride and self-indulgence are the hallmarks of all that follow him. He is commonly known in the Empire of Man as the Prince of Pleasure and even the Prince of Chaos. He is the youngest of the Chaos Gods. While generally referred to as a "he" by humans, Slaanesh is actually neither gender, combining characteristics of both and perfecting them. Slaanesh typically appears in an androgynous form in which it is a woman on the right side and a man on the left with two sets of devilish horns growing from its head. Slaanesh can assume any form; male, female, hermaphrodite or asexual, but it prefers male bodies. Its number is six and the colours associated with Slaanesh are purple, pink and black. The name Slaanesh is a corruption of the Elven term Slaaneth (Slaa meaning "ecstasy" or "pleasure" and Neth meaning "lord" or "prince"; hence, the Prince of Pleasure).
Tzeentch the Lord the Changer of Ways, is the Chaos God of Sorcery, Change, and Manipulation. Within the Realm of Chaos his domain covers the chaotic magic, evolution and change, scheming and manipulation of all kinds, mundane as well as arcane. He is known under many other names, among them the Lord of Change, the Grand Schemer and the Lord of Sorcery.
Nurgle, the Plague Lord, is the Chaos God of disease, destruction and decay. Within the Realm of Chaos his domain covers the forces of destruction, despair, entropy, and all things putrid and unclean. In particular, the emotion of despair in mortals empowers him. He is the oldest of the four Chaos Gods and is the most directly involved with the plights of mortals, particularly humans who suffer so acutely from a fear of death, perhaps the oldest fear of this race. Many of those affected by his poxes usually turn to him in order to escape the pain caused by sickness and disease. Nurgle also embodies the will of mankind to struggle on, no matter what opposes it, albeit perversely. Suffering, death, pain: human beings push these things from their minds and try to forget them by living in the moment in the hope that the future will be a better one. For this reason Nurgle, his daemons and mortal followers usually demonstrate a disturbing joy at the pestilence that they inflict, seeing the plagues as gifts and the cries of their victims as gratitude for the strength to overcome the obstacles of a mortal life rather than agony. He is known also as Grandfather Nurgle, the Lord of Flies and the Lord of Decay. Nurgle's number is seven. He is represented by the colours of green and brown, generally the putrid variations of each; the colours of rot and ruin, waste and vomit, mucus and pus.
they even have a better book than you minor leaguer. Their far superior book is called The Liber Chaotica.
from yours truly Word Bearer
When I was a girl, I dreamt of standing in a room looking at a girl who was and was not myself, who stood looking at another girl, who also was and was not myself. Friends took this for a nightmare. I saw it as the beginning of a career in chaos.
Hello, brother dearest.
Greetings my great and powerful lord of Chaos! It is I, Voltrasin! The Lady of Lunitics, your most dedicated follower. I apologize for not being able to comment on your last post, but after reading your posts for so long , I have begun to change. My mind is warping into a thing of chaos and I Love every second of it. I can't stop thinking about chaos, even now, as I type I am finding it increasingly difficult to restrain my inner thoughts or else I may offend you in some way. Oh! I just had a marvelous idea for a prank you could pull on Celestia. Turn her into a stallion and make Luna insanely in love with the new "Prince Solaris". Then just sit back and watch. Perhaps you can throw Twilight into the mix. I doubt you would have to do anything to her, one look at her dear mentor in that state and she'll fall head over hooves for him.
What do you think, my lord?
I already entered the contest, but then I encountered myself, and I told me that I couldn't use my entry, because it ends up that, since I am not Discord, I ended up causing a space-time hiccup that erased the entire eastern seaboard of the United States, as well as AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPLE-oosa.
Sorry.
Chaos is a beautiful thing, truly.
Seriously though, why no emoticon for our great and powerful lord chaos Discord?
I think that They will all become alicorns in the end and season 5 will be all alicorn all the time!
I highly doubt it will happen, but I really hope that in the finale, Discord double-crosses Celestia and the Mane Six, and takes over Equestria.