Open for Art Commissions. I write horror. I write gay. I write gay horror. GAAAAAAAAAAYYYY
Redacted. Here to protect you in secret from the monsters that are invading Eqeustria.
By any means necessary.
Chapters to be posted everyday until complete.
Content Warnings will be noted at the start of all chapters. All Content is mild with no graphic depictions. Gore is tagged more to cover bases.
Entry to the 2024 Science Fiction Contest.
Edited by EileenSaysHi
Preread by The Sleepless Beholder and Dewdrops on the Grass
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Heh. As Samwise Gamgee showed us, every mind-blasting horror’s greatest weakness is a simple gardener.
Truly fascinating work thus far. Looking forward to seeing where it goes from here, especially given the question of just how long Celestia can keep these plates spinning. Sure, a thousand-year track record is quite impressive, but there’s a first time for everything.
I really love the way you've written Mr Greenhooves here, his logic about The Rules is absolutely sound. I like the touch of Earth Pony magic being used to encourage growth rather than just "Earth Pony grow good".
I'm keen to know more about these entities that Celestia is containing, why she is keeping them from being handled by the Elements of Harmony and just how long The Rules and the beautiful clover garden can keep them contained.
Wonderfully creepy work on both of these. I have several questions about the nature of Flash and Granny both. It may just be possible to negotiate some degree of coexistence with the monsters, but that feels like a big “may.”
In any case, it appears Celestia’s little ponies have to deal with the true horror of this world despite her best efforts. Though there is the question of how bad it would be without the covert ops…
I love Mr. Greenhooves.
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Granny feels like she's also an eldritch horror, but one in ...control? of herself.
Flash on the other hand, well, whatever happend there can't be good
Liking this weird as heck thing so far~!
The continuity despite the mostly disjointed chapter nature continues to fascinate :)
And this is why you should tell the others, Celestia.
Celestia kept the other Princesses in the dark because she wants to protect them. Only for one to get hurt by this lack of knowledge.
The content note for this chapter is currently on the bottom of the text.
(Also, outstanding work thus far.)
Well. This system is unsustainable in any number of levels. We’re looking at the last days of Equestria unless something drastic happens. We’ll just have to see what that is, if anything.
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Oops. Sorry about that. Fixed.
And glad to hear you're enjoying the story :)
Huh. Was not expecting that.
Yeah, people seeking an escape to another universe won’t generally be in a good place mentally. The fact that there are facilitators on the other side advertising other worlds to ruin is an unexpected and deeply concerning development. Looking forward to further insights.
Lightning Dust endowed with the power of extradimensional monstrosities...
This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a "Hold my cider."
In any case, fascinating glimpses at a world on the precipice of disaster. Eagerly looking forward to future installments. Best of luck in the judging.
Gonna keep my eye on you
I love how each is its own short little story of sorts, connecting and weaving into the larger narrative
That was a delight, looking forward to future stuff in this world~! There's so many fun 'Ooh, why is that happening?' elements here!
Great stuff! It was intriguing how the stories started hitting at each other and building a greater narrative without quite pulling the trigger. The ways you used different characters was neat. I'm looking forward to the continuation.
Well, you weren't kidding with those content warnings...
This story has some serious Evangelion vibes.
The world is ending, and it's held together by people who are slowly going insane or turning into monsters themselves...
Looking forward to the sequel/expansion!
This was an absolutely incredible read. Reminds me a lot of Puella Magi Madoka Magica with the Malformants and their appearances, as well as the ponies who fight them. Looking forward to seeing another story from this fantastic world.
Interesting, yet vaguely concerning...poor Celestia.
This guy's got bedroom's on top of bedrooms!
And we learn what we've probably always known...
Bronies are the real monsters.
Hey there, Otter! Here's a review for ya as a fellow sci-fi contest entrant:
This story is really engrossing, and each vignette does a good job of capturing the reader's attention and giving them just enough tidbits to arouse their curiosity and dread. The story does a good job of revealing bits of information in a mostly organic way, and intersperses the horror with some fun character moments. The world building is also strong, and the linking of different Malformants to "sins" and giving them each unique titles really tickled me. Overall the story has elements of SCP and Black Mirror and a few other things, but I think it does justice with its pedigree of inspirations (whatever they might actually be).
In terms of criticism, a minor thing is that the Moondancer chapter was exposition heavy and didn't incorporate its footnotes into the text very well. I know it's a trick with the FiMfic format, but it made it tougher to get through. It does explain enough to get a better handle on the Redacted organization, though. On a more generalized level, though, I'll observe two things:
But, like I said, the story is engrossing and a lot of fun. Despite the story's length, it was a fun read and I never felt bored. Thanks for the read, and good luck in the contest!
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Hey, Hat Man.
Gotta admit that I'm not overly happy about this. An unprompted review in the midst of judging that I didn't ask for where you've formatted it in such way to clearly highlight the negatives with your numbered list does not leave a good taste.
To address some of those criticisms, the story is sci fi. There are some of the shorter stories that are definitely just horror, but more than half of the stories in the anthology deal with Redacted, the fallout of it, or at least touch on the sci-fi elements present (dimensional travel, the corporation being clearly ahead in technology, the literal aliens, etc). You seem to imply that sci-fi only covers science which is a very narrow view of the genre. Science Fiction covers a wide range of topics including space, aliens, futuristic concepts, time loops, and much more. Furthermore, if that is in fact your definition of sci fi, that isn't even supported within the context of this story considering what ponies used to capture Malformants, handle the various facilities, etc.
Additionally, a story does not have to answer every question it presents. Let's remove the fact that I did clearly state that I was working on a sequel in the closing footnote in the last chapter, open ended storytelling is a commonly used tool. I purposefully allow the reader to fill in the gaps as they wish since telling them everything explicitly leaves a much more boring story as theorizing and thinking about the themes and subjects presented is half the fun for something like this. Furthermore, there is a conclusion. The story presented the main problem and crux in the first chapter that is resolved in the last.
In regards to Moondancer's chapter, I'm sorry it didn't click with you.
I appreciate the praise, and I'm glad to here you enjoyed your read, however, I would ask going forward that, at a minimum, if you are going to post a review such as this, that you at least wait until after the judging is complete. Thank you for your time.
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Hi! Prereader Dewdrops here, and life long science fiction fan. I just wanted to say, I disagree with your statement that this story is not science fiction. The genre of science fiction covers quite a bit more territory than one might think at first, and while the story does have its major horror roots, its core is science fiction through and through. Trust me, this story qualifies. I went over it in detail to make sure of it in the pre-reading stage, and it met my approval.
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Well, fair enough. Chalk it up to me being nit-picky about things.