Content Warning: Horror and body integrity dysphoria. If you don’t want to read about body dysphoria/dysmorphia in a horror setting, skip this story. Transgender people, this warning is especially relevant.
On an otherwise calm morning, with Twilight out of town, Pinkie Pie has a revelation.
She doesn’t feel like herself. She’s not sure if she wants to feel like herself, either.
She wants to be something different. Something… missing.
Written as an entry for Bike’s A Thousand Words Contest in the Grim category.
Also written for Bean’s Writing Group prompt 33, “Something is missing”.
With feedback from TheWanderingZebra, Arachne, MockingBirb, Shirlendra, and others. Thanks for your help!
Now with a youtube audio reading from The Mystery Fluttershy Fan.
Well, shit...
Existence just feeling wrong is a kind of scary concept. I don't get feelings quite like this, but I think I dissociate mildly from time to time. Like I'll suddenly "wake up" from a train of thought and remember that I have a physical body at a physical location in space, or that I'll realize that my past actions aren't just memories but tangible events that took place and that other conscious beings could corroborate as having happened.
Okay I've recorded it, just gotta edit it, which will be soon.
11242043
Thanks, you did a great job on it! I originally had some doubts about the ending, but I think your reading made it work way better than I had in just text.
I'm really not sure what to think about this story.
But you get points for doing something different. For exploring a concept that would be highly alien to most.
11242043
I listened to your reading of it. You did a good job. I have eye pain nearly every day, so I always appreciate whenever I can find that someone has read a story aloud, which allows me to save my eyes a little. I especially appreciate it when they do a good job with it, and even go the extra mile to try to recreate things like sound effects relevant to the story. Thank you for recording it, it is appreciated.
A curious tale. I'm really not sure what to make of it, and I imagine Pinkie doesn't either. If you were going for disquiet, you nailed it. Best of luck in the judging.
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11265906
I sure am getting a lot of hesitancy on this story :P
There was a point where I was trying to run with a more explicit ending where the Pinkie clone we are following fades away as Twilight accidentally destroys the mirror pool but it was confusing as I couldn't manage the evidence to support it in the limited word count, and only one prereader actually figured out what was going on.
I do hope that the horror tag was sufficiently justified.
11230815
You did pick it up.
instantly relatable
indeed, i would wonder about that too
aww, so true (though i imagine Equestria is a place where makeup is just for self-expression and not a ward against discomfort!)
aww, love this line!
oof, so true! commentary, inadvertent or not, on how so many people treat Pinkie Pie as a one-note character like this
aw dang, nose dysphoria, or BIID? interesting to think about
oh, dang, that's right! fascinating to think about that as having affected Pinkie in the long term
oof, this is certainly escalating in an uncomfortable way!
augh, a terrifying and beautiful line
oof, i am glad that she sees it at least...
and augh, the earlier mention of the Mirror Pool, the feeling as if one was not meant to be, this is exactly where i thought it was leading to! great stuff
commentary!
and augh, i love the ambiguity! i can imagine how awful it is to be Pinkie Pie right now, stuck between this worrisome sudden desire to be incorporeal and having no way to really even trust her own mind.
disquieting, introspective, and a fresh take on the consequences of the Pinkie we see in canon being a surviving clone instead of the original. the escalation was perfectly done, with each step having its own efficient internal logic and beauty but leading deeper and deeper into the disquiet. i was right there along with Pinkie each step that she took in her little journey here, feeling that mix of beauty and rightness along with the absurd and wrong, and if that's not a sign of great writing, i don't know what is.
i really loved this, thank you so much for it!
Howdy, hi~!
This was absolutely fascinating. I actually happen to have known of the disorder that inspired this before reading. It really hits on some interesting emotions and captures a very poignant sense of dread that was so enjoyable to read. Lovely fic, thank you~!
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I spent way too much time on writing this line. At least it landed, yay?
commentary
Also, it was meant to reflect the chants of "fun" in the original "Too Many Pinkie Pies" episode. Just trying to hint at the context of the story.
The revelation is just out of left field, and while I hope that the evidence I built up previously was sufficient, I'm still unsatisfied with how it came out. Word count + authorial skill issue.
Thanks for the comments!
11301506
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the story.
Hello! Have a review. A really interesting setup and quite an ambitious subject for a 1,000-word fic. That said, I wasn't really sure I understood Pinkie's mindset here, even after reading the A/N, though I suspect that's my fault rather than yours. Well done on the honourable mention!
11308585
Thank you for the review! I don't think it's your fault that you didn't understand the story; to be honest, I personally have some problems with the story direction as well. So I feel like it's a legitimate flaw rather than merely just a niche-audience thing.