Horticulture
With the flowerpot tucked under one arm and Rarity waiting despondently by his side, Spike rapped on the spa’s front desk. “What’s your most relaxing treatment? Whatever it is, we need it fast!”
A pink mare leaned across the counter and gave him and the plant a curious stare. “Good morning… sir. All that’s available right now is the steam room. You probably shouldn't take your flower in there, though.”
Rarity gave a deep sigh and spoke for the first time in ten minutes. “We’ll take it… both of us… just put it on my tab, will you?”
The pink mare nodded. “Of course. Right this way, Rarity.”
Spike followed after Rarity and their hostess, at a loss for what to say next, or even how many turns they’d taken through the spa’s surprisingly numerous hallways. Their march felt eerily similar to the long walk to Twilight’s lab: once again he was completely clueless as to what was about to happen. Was Rarity suddenly going to get angry, or start crying, or faint? Maybe the spa had its own fainting couch, considering how often Rarity came here.
The pink mare slid open a metal door and beckoned them inside. “You can leave your flower on the bench here.”
He set the flowerpot on the bench by the door but moved no further. Could he really leave it here? What if someone knocked it over or stole it?
“Your flower will be fine,” the pink mare added. “Our staff is very careful, and for the moment you two have the steam room all to yourselves.”
Rarity stood in the doorway, steam billowing around her hooves. “Won't you join me, Spike?”
Leaving Rarity didn’t feel right either. After giving the flower one last look, Spike stepped into the steam room and the pink mare slid the door shut behind him.
The air felt like it’d been imported from a tropical jungle. A gentle hiss brought fresh steam in through a vent in the ceiling, and the stone benches lining the walls were riddled with condensation. Spike took a deep breath of the hot, humid air, unsure if he was feeling any more relaxed. He just felt hot and wet.
“What are we going to do, Spike?” Rarity had seated herself on a bench nearby, her face buried in her forelegs. “How could we… how could a dragon and a pony have… offspring?”
“It really is just a flower. Twilight tried a bunch of potions and spells to make sure.”
Rarity sat up and tilted her head back. “Just a flower indeed… We created life! Botanical life, granted, but still!”
The sweat pouring down Spike’s forehead and back wasn’t relaxing in the slightest. What did Rarity see in this place, anyway? “So do I take care of the flower for half of the week, and you keep it the other half?”
“I suppose it is just a flower,” Rarity muttered. “All the care it could possibly need involves a watering can and a place in the sun. Anypony could see to it.”
Spike gasped. “But it’s not just a flower! I don’t want some random pony to forget to water it or… or eat it!”
“Eat it?” Rarity shivered. “Eat our… I mean… Of course it is just a flower, but the very idea is revolting!”
“Ponies eat flowers all the time!”
“Yes, but not special ones, not flowers that… mean something more?”
Spike sat in the middle of the floor, arms crossed. “It does mean something to you, right? A second ago you said it was just a flower.”
“I’m well aware of what I said! I simply meant—”
The steam room door slid open.
Spike jumped up, expecting to be scolded for talking too loudly. Instead, Rose trotted in and seated herself on a free bench.
“Hi, Rarity. Hi, Spike,” she said.
“Hi, Rose… what brings you here?” Spike replied.
Rose stretched out her forelegs. “Just taking a little break. I just got back from a big flower expo in Fillydelphia.”
Rarity gave a friendly chuckle. “Ah, then welcome home, darling. I’m sorry if you overheard anything Spike and I… we’re in the middle of a rather important discussion, if you don't mind.”
Rose closed her eyes and sighed contentedly. “Don’t let me intrude… unless it’s about where you found that Antirrhinum.”
Spike scratched his head. “That what?”
Rose yawned. “Antirrhinum… the flower in the pot outside. It’s a snapdragon all right, but I’ve only seen that coloration a couple times before.”
Rarity leaped off her bench and stood over Rose. “Do you mean to say that that plant… it’s just a common wildflower? Perfectly ordinary in every respect?”
Rose perked up and smiled at Rarity’s sudden interest. “I wouldn’t call it common, not around here anyway. I think the last time I saw one was near the Apple family’s orchard. Maybe it's something in their soil.”
Spike gasped. “Uh, Rose? If it’s all right with you… and it’s all right with Rarity… do you want to keep it?”
“Whoa, really? I’d love to!”
Rarity turned to Spike. “Are you sure, Spikey?”
He nodded. “If it’s really just a regular flower that came from a regular seed that was already in the soil… why not?”
She looked down and twisted a front hoof. “It is special in a way… Weren’t you the one saying we needed to make sure it had expert care and attention?”
Rose scowled. “I kind of grow flowers for a living, Rarity. I think I can handle it.”
Spike grinned. “Disappointed?”
Rarity gasped and shook her head with considerable force. “No! Certainly not! Never! You’re welcome to the flower, Rose. I believe Spike and I were just leaving.”
---
The walk back to the boutique went quickly and quietly. Spike had no reason to follow Rarity there, but couldn’t think of where else to go. Going home meant having to explain the whole situation, which at the moment he barely understood himself. “So there were already a few seeds in the soil, and then Applejack put fertilizer all over it…”
“Indeed.”
“So it's just a coincidence.”
“Indeed.”
Spike studied Rarity’s stoic expression. Unsure and slightly afraid of where her emotions and even their friendship stood, given the wild ride of the last twenty four hours. One minute he'd been her noble dragon, the next he'd been carrying their presumed child across town in a flowerpot. “So… what happens now?”
Rarity sighed. “I suppose I get back to work, and you let Twilight know what's happened.”
“Yeah, I guess. But… what about you and me? We're still friends, right?”
Rarity stopped in her tracks and faced him with a small smile. “Of course we are! Nothing can change that!”
He stared into her eyes while her hoof caressed his cheek. “Really? Even after—”
“After your selflessly coming to my aid, and remaining by my side in the wake of our defying the very laws of biology?” Her hoof tapped against his lips. “No force in Equestria shall ever tear us apart, or prevent me from doing this.”
She pulled him into a hug, which he gratefully returned.
“Or me from doing this,” he replied. “If that's all right with you, that is?”
Rarity giggled. “Hug away, darling. Differences in biology aside, I certainly wouldn’t mind the two of us spending more t—”
“Spike!” Starlight skidded to a stop next to them, a white envelope suspended in her magic. “You got a letter that says open immediately. I was just going to leave it on your bed, but Twilight saw the Royal Court of Canterlot return address and practically demanded I find… Spike?”
Spike hadn’t let up on the hug, half-hoping that Starlight and the rest of Ponyville would leave him and Rarity alone for another minute, or hour.
Starlight groaned. “Come on, Spike. Let your flower mama breathe, and take your dumb letter.”
Rarity stiffened and practically pushed Spike away. “Flower… Now see here, Starlight, I don’t appreciate—”
The letter fell into Spike’s hands and was open a second later. A few seconds after that he felt short of breath. “Court summons?”
Starlight and Rarity broke off their argument and read over his shoulders, echoing the words he was reading in each ear.
“Improper handling and transport of class seven controlled substance…”
“Import of tariffed tea without prepayment of fees or possession of permit…”
“Must appear before the lower court of Canterlot no later than… Yeesh!” Starlight put a hoof to her forehead and whistled. “And here I was figuring it was a common law notice or something.”
Spike sank down until only Rarity and Starlight’s combined magic was holding him upright. Suddenly he was back in the steam room, this time remembering Shining Armor’s meticulous instructions about obtaining a royal import waiver, something he’d promptly forgotten about every morning when Rarity stopped by. “What am I going to do?”
Rarity fanned him, smiling softly. “I’ll be by your side every step of the way, Spikey. Let’s go plan your legal defense, perhaps over an early lunch?”
Starlight rolled her eyes. “Have fun. Twilight has some tea brewing back at the castle, if you want some.”
Rarity and Spike shared a grimace. “We’ll pass.”
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Nice job there, Spike. Niiiiiiice job.
Oh god, this was amazing. I was having a sour time, and then I read this and felt better. Thanks for that. Been ages since I read a good Sparity fic.
Wonderfully enjoyable, thanks for writing!
thanks for the read, i enjoyed it. would of been funny if it was drag/pony hybrid insted of a plant hahaha but still enjoyed it thanks
Spike got served?!?!
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"Your Highness, ignorance of the law does not excuse the fact that what your assistant did was illegal"
"The court will acquiesce. Proceed your Highness."
"The court find this acceptable" *bang* "Next case!"
Fun little story. Glad my editing suggestions made a difference
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Saying I couldn’t have done it without you and Dubs doesn’t begin to cover it
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Somebody turn this into a story
Cute little story. Will you be attending Everfree?
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That’s the hope!
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Awesome! I’d love to meet you there.
This was wonderful and sweet and funny! It really made the end of a rough day so much more delightful!
Thank you!
orig00.deviantart.net/a30d/f/2017/055/2/7/fashionably_resting_by_hillbe-db0abdt.jpg
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They had to relocate those bees that lived in the hive on the Golden Oaks somewhere!
This wonderful story would fit right in with the zaniness of S1, especially since Sparity was more up front and center than in later seasons.
Delightful tale. Spike was at his best throughout, and Trixie's wonderful horribleness really is rubbing off on Starlight. Thank you for it.
It appears I have been japed and bamboozled. Good show!
Thanks for the cute and the feels.
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Why yes I did. Thanks!
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bamboozled indeed
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This is the first time I’ve had reason to write Starlight. It didn’t occur to me until now that she makes a great vehicle for the kind of snark that S1 Twilight regularly spouted. Clearly I should include her more
8819746
I see what you did there.
Great story!
Pff... I thought that was a suspicious amount of time to produce a seed.
Oh good, well they should be—
Nope. They're doomed.
Well, now that Rarity and Spike have been de-flowered, i hope that their budding relationship continues to bloom.
Technically it was Shining and Cadance who imported the tea, and Twilight who mishandled the controlled substance (by leaving out where a minor under her charge could mistake it for something else). So Spike should be fine, because royalty.
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If you don’t mind my asking, how did you stumble across this story? I ask because I’ve seen a flurry of activity today that I can’t explain...
Thank you for reading!
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I’m sure their relationship will grow like a weed
8980263
Maybe that’s exactly why Spike turned into the court’s scapedragon
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I'm part of the Transformations group, and it appeared in my Feed that this was added to the Inanimate section. I was curious.
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Ditto to Chrome: Saw it posted in the Transformations group, thought it looked interesting.
8980300
Yeah, you got tossed onto the most popular Transformations group here, by far. One of those groups I only wish I could post my story to.
To my detractors:
I am am UPvoting (sic) and faving this. I mention this because I have a deserved reputation for being a stickler on sexual morality... in this case, however, I find the actions of all involved to be actively praiseworthy... except for the obvious bits about the handling of dangerous and/or restricted materials. Noting that the story obviously doesn't even condone THOSE.
Even if what they thought had happened had really happened, it would have been comp!etely unexpected that the "sex" had occurred, and with the crisis situation any consideration of due diligence is obviously waived.
Great fanfic. I loved reading it