When the 10th Doctor regenerates, his 11th incarnation is a little different than we all know with looks. Even worse, he has landed in a new (but familiar) world. Now he has a new TARDIS and a new companion, Twilight Sparkle. From Alien Prisoners to Weeping Angels, this Doctor will succeed at it all. Equestria Girls universe, possible Doctor/Twilight. Avante!
hmm...
Needs a little work, but other than that very good!
I don't think anyone else has done this before so...Keep up the good work!
3579120 thats why i need pointers, more on the doctor who part itself
Not bad I look forward to reading more.
3579125You're doing great so far. If you need pointers, go on Youtube and look up Doctor Who so you can study his...well everything. Like how he speaks, saves the world, battles aliens, and making funny jokes without trying.
Overall I wish you the best of luck.
3579174 right, well.... best get started
should i also make a day of the doctor story too?
3579196Considering I have not seen that episode yet, I'm still punching myself for not seeing it on day one
I'd say finish this one first before you go off on the rest of the adventure.
Its your story write it like you want to see it!
3579233 i mean like a side story
3579233 i missed a HUGE chunk of doctor who episodes and i hate myself for it
3579273Oh...Well in that case, go for it!
"Onwards and upwards!"
3579339 actually, this doctor will say 'Avante!'
3579346Why not Gerronimo?
3579346Or Allons-y for that matter?
3579358 trying something different
3579383Alright then. Carry on.
3579196 If you think you should. Though that would involve the Doctor returning to his base universe. Just think it over if you think you should.
3579903 well, I have something planned. Besides, this doctor is gonna be attatched to this universe
3579915 Alrighty then, I can't wait. I have a feeling that this story may be fantastic.
3579925 I'll start on day of the doctor soon, there will be a return of a familiar pony doctor and a certain pegasus/human
It could be interesting, but you know, do you have to use almost the exact same lines? I mean you could just make them a little different. I mean this is a My Little Pony and Doctor Who Crossover. Make it unique. Just a suggestion.
You still get a Happy Pinkie Pie though!
3579960 youll see. Im gonna try and do different lines but i still want it to be sorta the same
3579943 Fantastic, absolutely fantastic.
3580029 however, after this episode, i dunno what to do next. maybe i can do the movie
3580040 Which movie? There are a few. The cannon 1996 movie starring the 8th, and the non-canon Dalek movies.
3580045 equestria girls
3580049 Ohhhh, huh, well if you think it'd be a good idea. I dunno.
3580055 and then maybe sunset can tag along, heck shes already something you wouldnt expect her to be in quest for the apple
3580074 That would be interesting, and original. All up to you. Also, are there Daleks in the Equestria Girls Universe? It'd be interesting to see whether or not the Dalkes (if there are native EQG Universe Daleks) would know who the Doctor is. Just throwing that out there.
I saw the list of 'Vale's, then had to go listen to Vale Decem.
Dropping it here for anyone that wants it.
You're short 2 'Vale's.
This is a great story I hope you add the doctor's speech to the atraxi just like from episode 1.
what happen next chapter?
Man oh MAN does this have potential! You can bet your Sonic Screwdriver I'll be following along!
3579273Are you just talking about New Who, or are you including Classic, too? Anyway, commence read.
Post-read edit: Awesome story so far! Now for the minor grammar Nazi-ing and Whovian nitpicking:
should be could.
The tense is wrong.
NO ONE. Not "Noone."
Capitalise "The Doctor." Always. Capitalise. THE DOCTOR.
There were a few other awkward sentences and such, but otherwise it was a pleasant read. I'm probably going to hate myself for offering this, and I won't be able to do it frequently (thank you, Engineering major!) but if you would like a prereader/editor to catch these sort of things, I could help with that.
Current score: 7.3/10. Well-done, but there's a bit of awkwardness in sentence structure. Much of the dialogue was also copied pretty closely from The Eleventh Hour. I still enjoyed it, and am looking forward to the next chapter.
3581821 thats so weird, my english teacher gives me the same grief about my tense, never notice it until it's pointed out.
but thank you for showing the corrections for me
but i dont understand the first part of your comment
3582601There are two "eras" of Doctor Who: the Classic era (Hartnell-McGann) from 1963 to 1996, and the New era (Eccleston-present) starting in 2005. If you're talking about all of Doctor Who when you say that you've missed a lot of episodes, then you're certainly correct because there are 97 that are lost/missing, the First Doctor had 134 episodes, the Second Doctor had 119 episodes, the Third Doctor for 128 episodes, the Fourth Doctor had 178 episodes, the Fifth Doctor had a 9-minute movie plus 68 regular episodes, the Sixth Doctor had 31 episodes, the Seventh Doctor had 42 episodes, and the Eighth Doctor had a 1996 movie.
So yeah, there's a lot of episodes. Once "The Time of the Doctor" airs this Christmas, there will be 800 of them.
3582785 in that case, its modern for me
I'm glad that you aren't just doing a copypasta of the show. Also, my offer still stands if you need/want an editor/prereader. I noticed several little things again.
3583303 well, ill be happy if you can be a beta. but dont worry about the littlest things lease
it wont be 5 minutes.... To the doctor it could be 5 minutes, but it'll be years before he returns...
3587101 not in this story im afraid. It will be a year tops, I dont want to exactly copy, I want some of my own work in there
3587403
Understandable
Liking the story so far BTW
3587980 glad your enjoying it, its different from what I ususally do
i watch doctor who show in season 5 it like same but little crossover wonder what next chapter?
3593835 can you guess?
Just go with the War Doctor, since none of the others recognise him as The Doctor (that one incident notwithstanding, but that gets wiped from 1-10's memories.)
Since the War Doctor was after 8 but before 9, I've always thought of him as an 8.5. Or maybe an 8 mk. II. Or you could give him a military rank name, like Soldier or Major.
Also, and this is just me and I'm pretty sure you can't very easily fix this, but the lack of visuals makes the conversations hard to follow without names placed next to what's saying which, especially when new characters enter the scene.
Not to mention that I apparently blinked and we seem to have gone from kid Twilight world to human/EQG world between chapters. Am I right in assuming that?
Well, since he was played by John Hurt, and he was in the war and went through a lot of pain, how about you call him, the Hurt Doctor?
3603675
That sounds fitting
3603558 ..... we've always been in the EQG world, it's in the title not to mention there has been no mention of ponies in this entire story
what do you mean by visuals?
3607158
Oh, okay, my mistake on that then. Must have been a brain fart. My apologies.
What I mean by "visuals" is being able to see who is talking. I know this doesn't work at all with fanfiction, but in a scene where people are talking/arguing and events are happening at the same time, including introducing new "conversationalists", dialogue has the potential to get tangled up pretty quickly if it isn't fully established exactly who is talking. It's too often I see someone have multiple people talking without directly addressing the name(s) of the speaker. Soon the first guy is talking fourth, the third guy is fifth, and it's just a jumble of words. Unfortunately my stupid brain was unable to read the set indications as to who was talking.
Again, sorry.
3607737 ill keep that in mind when i actually introduce characters.
thanks for sharing your concerns