If germs were to form a civilisation on your corpse, would you notice?
Would the germs notice you?
Entry in sci-fi contest 3
[TW] [TRIGGER WARNING] FLESH
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 1st Mar, 2021
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
ARandomLonelyDude
The Dastardly Cringe-pilled Brainrot-maxxer || if comparision's the thief of joy then i've been robbed a lot
ARandomLonelyDude
Joined 1st Mar, 2021 ·
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Well this was... unnerving, to say the least.
:|
11875909
._.
This is good, but hard to read because of typos. You might want to fix the misspellings.
11902299
thanks for comment, i fixed whatever typos i found, will fix the other ones if found later
Hello, fellow contestant! Your friendly neighborhood Hat Man is here with a quick review!
And here we have an experimental and eerie epistolic, endosomatic exploration most eldritch and existential in its exhortations! (Took me way too long to come up with that...)
The story is definitely creepy and unsettling in its implications. I do think it's too fast-paced, though; we get the reveal too quickly for the dread to really kick in, and the horrible things happening to Twilight's expedition aren't described well enough to be horrifying.
It's still a gripping idea that I don't think you've fully capitalized on, but its creative twists, narrative style, and especially the strong ending carry it pretty far. Nice work!
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thabks