Double Diamond isn't pleased by all aspects of Starlight Glimmer's society of true equality. But even if it isn't always great, at least it's fair, right?
Content Note: Double Diamond is with ponies who he doesn't particularly want to be with since he is pressured by society to do something "fair"; Our Town's policy on sharing--inspired by real-life utopian cult communities--is based on an extreme conception of equality.
Cover Art: by me.
Wow. I'm not sure what I expected going into this story, but I definitely felt blindsided by how close this hit to all sorts of uncomfortably familiar feelings--inadequacy, jealousy, loneliness...
I like seeing a story about background ponies in/around Our Town like this--about feeling lost and just looking for somewhere to belong, for an escape from the pressure of being special. (And how the promises of Our Town don't really work out...)
Or at least that's what stuck out to me.
I also really like the way this is structured; unstuck in time, like Slaughterhouse Five or Fragments of a Hologram Rose--tying together DD's past pains with his present ones.
Whoa, that really hit the void in my heart.. I mean it's really good I felt the hurt, isolation and general hopelessness that Double Diamond talked about. I was kind of hoping for there to be a happy epilogue but man, now I'm gonna be bummed for a while, Good Job!
Though I do wish there would be a happier sequel, I also understand that some works are just meant to be sad. But again, love this story!
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Thank you!
The good news is that, in the show, in the aftermath of the Mane Six's arrival, matters probably improved for Double Diamond. If a related sequel/story ever comes about, I will try to let you know.
This is a story that earns those Dark and Drama tags. Some mighty good writing, too, with the appeal and the hollowness of Starlight's promise and of Our Town coming through very strongly. "Special equal massages", indeed.
oof, the contrast between the bloodless, clinical language and the implications of what the last phrase means is really chilling
you are doing an excellent job putting me in the skin of someone truly deep in Starlight’s village cult here. it is chilling and feels all too true to life
it feels like even more of an insidious twist that the “group auditing session” depicted here is so positive compared to the harrowing self-criticism one would expect in a typical cult story. and of course, taking the idea of equality to its “logical conclusion” resulting in enforced bisexuality is something that only true pony content can provide
an extremely relevant issue for Double Diamond!
i love every bit of this! it feels ripped directly from Equestria itself in a perfect way that very few other authors manage to pull off
hehe, “plot piece”. as always, love these bits of vocabulary
really makes you think about how athletic competitions work in a world where the population is split into three very distinct anatomies
as always, love how well thought-through the in-universe swearing is
damn! well that about says it all for where this relationship is going
hehe, “maretriarchy” (wish i lived there)
just love how all this is coming together to make it make perfect sense how Double Diamond became so devoted to Starlight’s cult. i imagine all the other villagers must also have such backstories
love how this paragraph is such a good microcosm of Double Diamond’s predicament
big oof
the irony of this is so perfect
love these details
love the poem
ooh, very cool bit that makes so much sense! guessing Sunset let it get to her head and that Sunburst was under similar pressure! and given him burning out of the whole magic thing, ironically i could definitely see Sunburst as a good candidate for Starlight’s cult himself
and augh, the mix of cognitive dissonance, ambition, guilt, sense of self-worth, all of that, paints such a wonderfully rich portrait here of this character. i wonder what it says about me that i find myself identifying with him pretty easily
very intriguing, this setup feels ripe for some sort of related reveal later
ooh, fun little detail here! would explain why Feather Bangs had such an interest in Sugar Belle in that one episode, if they shared this background
that is so Starlight
dang this guy is a jerk! but i gotta hoof it to him, a true artiste
and a beautiful way to end it, wow.
just an absolute masterpiece of a character study. i love how the end of his relationship with Written Script is placed the climax, lending its strength to the impact of the final paragraphs as we finally get the full picture of who Double Diamond is and what led him there. just beautiful, haunting stuff
A really interesting little story exploring an aspect of Our Town I hadn't considered. Equality in intimacy certainly has a different level of issues involved than occupation or housing.
I admire the brusqueness of the final sentence.
Diamond had loving reciprocity once upon a time and that's valuable, right?
Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?
No, that's bullshit; one steals what the other never had to lose.
Double Diamond particularly hates losing.
The story is well-written, and I don't like how it feels to read.
tangible, inadequate, vitriol, jealous, lonely, hate, envious, betrayed, lied, morose, tantrum, abandoned, undesired, weak, empty, ineffective
Despising
Distilled
Deceived
Discarded
Devious
Disgusted
Devoid
Depression
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Thank you. Fixed and improved! I much appreciate the second set of eyes!
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Also fixed!
What do Squid Game, IRL communist societies, hippie communes, Starlight's village, and my own (relatively limited) personal experience in monastic environments have in common? In any community with enforced equality, there always exists an underground economy of favors, rule-breaking, and camaraderie. The other commenters have praised you on the feelings and relationship side. I'd like to congratulate you on your capture of the social dynamics that result when cheating on the spiritual diet is the only sensible solution.
You know what it's like when there's this vast difference between a category we could call 'this is like what people are asking for or wanting or demanding when they say they want a shipfic' vs. the category of interesting and low triteness stories about relationships?
I think this story is interesting because it's about a lot. It plays with the relationships between romance or sex, and the society in which that happens. That's a theme I really like seeing handled with some thought, and I'm happy to see you write so well about it.
Recommended! 👍
Edited about 3/4 hour after posting to add: In a fimfic mail to SparklingTwilight, I called this story "an unflinching yet sensitive look at a dystopia or semi-dystopia," which I think is a fair take.