In the far-flung lands around Equestria there are countless bizarre monsters, uncatalogued species, and unknown magics. Across the wastelands, hidden in the uncharted stretches of desert, rumors speak of a tribe of strange creatures, perhaps related to the changelings, but with features derived from an unusually specific insect lineage.
This is the tale of one such creature. Perhaps the only one remaining. His name is Dust, and he stalks the mountains in service to his long quest.
He just wishes he could remember what it was.
Chapters (1)
Adorable butterfly. The intrigue of the limited perspective in always fun. Nice to see you try your hand with an original story, keep it up
Much like you, I was totally drawn into this with that cool image.
It's rather remarkable I can still be so fascinated in a story premise about a main character with amnesia. Of course, you have a unique spin to it: "I am a duty-bound soldier! It doesn't matter that I can't remember to what!"
It's also made interesting that we a reader could already have a preconceived notion about Dust's former life, and that reclaiming it won't exactly be a happy ending for him. Even regardless if this tribe of changelings are "good guys" or not, there's also the worry we have for Dust. Is there anyone at his home that loves him, or is he just a soldier with personhood thrown away?
I haven't the slightest whether this has anything to do with the plot or intended themes of the story, it's just what I thought of.
Of course some prefer Siouxsie.
https://m.10902349
night butterflies.
Well that happened...
Thirsty…
For more Dust Moth!
10902804
Really?
If he were to appear in future writings, would you want to see him in one of the other series as a side character, or his own story with the Mane Six or something?
Damn, that was way better than I expected. No jarring grammar errors, pretty clear vocabulary. I liked Dust's limited perspective, certainly wouldn't mind seeing more of this character.
Intriguing. I know it's marked as complete, but you ended this on a perfect lead into possible continuation.
I would love to see that continuation.
10903259
SFAccountant is a rather prolific writer with over a million words of 40K/FiM crossover stories. You're unlikely to find significant technical errors here.
10903626
Ha! I wish I could say that. Readers find grammar errors after nearly every chapter posted, and I still regularly find mistakes re-reading chapters I've read ten or so times.
This one was short though, so less material to screw up
10903154
Yes
10903682
me too
10903626
Yeah, now that you mention it, I feel kind of stupid for not recognizing the author.
10903641
Well, yes, everyone has typos and cases of "I accidentally this entire sentence," but by and large, I would rank you among the "Generally recognized as at least halfway knowing what they're doing" crowd here on FiMFic, when it comes to legible and intelligible horsewords.
Interesting short piece. I'd also like to see more of this fellow, perhaps in his own tale. Found a couple mistakes, but nothing that made it hard to read.
Should be "his head".
Extraneous "the" here.
Rather than, not then.
10904806
Fixed. Thank you as always for the corrections.
10904270
That’s not saying much. As good as the cream of the crop is, there is a LOT of poor writing that gets buried under a LOT of mediocre writing.
As for the story, it’s too much horror movie cliche and not enough personal confusion. Why fight? Who cares. Who guardian? Don’t matter. How win? Immortal monster. Does it matter? No.