Rainbow Dash wakes up to an odd winter heatwave, but at least Scootaloo wants to play with her. By the end of the day, she's fighting her way through a nightmare blizzard. And only one question burns through her mind: WHERE'S THE REAL SCOOTALOO!?
"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying, And this same flower that smiles today, Tomorrow will be dying."
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Beautiful...
I'm one of those cowards that mostly sticks around the Featured Box, but I am so glad I decided to read this despite the low exposure this fic got.
Great bit of
NorseHorse Mythology, and incredibly high stakes.And let me just say, I have never read about the entire country of Haiti descending from the sky to do climactic battle with Luna, in any story I have ever read. Truly unique. Truly inspiring. That's a joke of course, read the darn story to get the joke.
Great but for some reason it just doesn’t hold
I... um... what?
Okay, I liked a lot of the story but by the end, I straight-up had no idea what was going on. I get the feeling that if I knew more about Norse Mythology, I might have a little more of a clue what's happening, but even then I'm not sure. And, frankly, it's just... what?!
So, Scootaloo wished for Rainbow Dash to remain in a dream of the perfect world with the perfect Scootaloo and in return, Scootaloo would train with Cold Standard forever? Okay, that kinda makes sense, but then how did Ponyville get frozen. Was that part of the wish that Scootaloo may or may not have originally made about being perfect? Did Cold Standard do that? Was it actually Fimbulwinter, with the end of the world coming anyway and Scootaloo's thing was just coincidence? But then why did everything thaw when Rainbow said she loved Scootaloo? Did Scootaloo freeze the town? How did she freeze them? Why would they get frozen if this was just about Scootaloo and possibly Rainbow? Who the hell is Hati?!
I am really, genuinely sorry if I'm just being incredbly dense, but I have not been this confused in a long, long time. I'd like to sincerely ask someone to explain just what the heck happened in this story and I would encourage them to do it in as patronizing a manner as they feel is appropriate. Because, as I said, I like much of this story and I want to like it as a whole, but I'm just... completely and utterly lost.
Fine piece of work, but I think Equestria has enough problems without it being vulnerable to destruction by teenage angst.
9593912
Sorry about the confusion, amigo. I wanted to convey through "show" rather than rely too much on "tell" and hope people piece it together, but I admit that does sometimes backfire and it doesn't get across what I intended.
Simply put, the gist is that Scootaloo's insecurities are the root of the problem. Despite Luna's efforts, Scootaloo insists on dragging in Cold Standard for a contract, who's supposed to remain among Luna's Stars until the end of the world. But by doing so, she unintentionally causes a "pull one thread of the tapestry" effect and drags in the whole shebang - the white army, the Fimbulwinter, the Monster that's supposed to battle Luna (Hati). It was Fimbulwinter that froze the town specifically. So while Luna and the army do the fighting off-screen to push Hati back to its lair, the ultimate cause is dealt with by Rainbow talking Scootaloo out of her insecurities by reassuring her. The "contract" they make at the end was meant to represent turning over a new leaf.
Sorry for the confusion caused. I hope that clears things up, and thanks for voicing your concerns and letting me know. In writing, there's always room for improvement.
9593912
In response to your concerns, I've gone back and edited part of Luna's dialogue. I tried to clarify it here in this section so that the scenario is more explicitly detailed:
Thanks again!
9594283
So...did Luna win?
9594283
Okay, that does make things a lot more clear. Thank you very much for responding.
9594629
And thank you for commenting. Feedback is a valuable resource.
9594621
Well, the blizzard retreats, the ice melts, the world outside Ponyville comes back, and Luna's briefly seen in the moon at the end giving Rainbow a sign of approval. I'd give that a tentative "yep".
Magnificent work, from Scootaloo's crisis to the mythological aspects to Dash at her absolute best. Thank you for a fantastic read.
9600560
This is really tardy on my part, and I'm sorry about that. Especially for this story, where unambiguously positive feedback was few and far between (especially in the original Writeoff). But that said, thanks! It's comments like these that make the effort worthwhile, and I'm glad you got so much out of it.