Hon hon hon I'm Le French trying to write in The English! Be prepared for mistakes and weird sentences constructions!
Pinkie is weird. But sometimes, it worries her friends.
This fiction was written in 2020, in the context of a fic-fight on another site.
THIS IS A TRANSLATION
I'm French. I'm working on translating some of my work here, as part of a personnal journey, to come back to writing about ponies.
I'm sorry for the mistakes, I'm seeking to improve. So, any feedback on that part is welcome.
Original here
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Delightful story! I just wanted to offer some spelling and grammar corrections, though I tried to steer clear of changing anything that could be stylistic!
Also, sorry for just dumping this all here!
Pink.
It was pink. Well, more like a very light nuance of red. Something between the two, anyway.
The place was a little weird to set up a piece of cardboard to dry in the open. The sun was coming at its zenith, but the drops still slowly flowed. A little puddle had formed in front of it, staining the foot of the hedge right next to it.
It was one of those drops going down that Pinkie was watching. Spreading its dye over the surface, amassing more as it was going over parts overcharged by the second layer, done a few hours prior.
A little further away, a small crowd of ponies was observing this spectacle with intrigue and, it must be said, concern.
Twilight slowly approached her friend, which seemed very concentrated. It actually was that point which worried Ponyville's inhabitant that had noticed it: Pinkie Pie was being serious, focused on drying paint, and sat down, without moving.
"Pinkie?" risked Twilight when arriving next to her.
"Shhhh! Not now, Twilight."
She didn't even look at her, simply waving a hoof in front of Twilight to tell her to make less noise.
"But..."
"Later."
Twilight looked at the little group of ponies while raising a hoof in a sign of cluelessness. She, too, didn't have any idea as to what was going on inside that pink little head.
"Listen Pinkie," insisted the alicorn, "You're making everyone worried."
"Aha," answered the earth pony, barely listening.
"At least, tell us why you are doing this here? Amongst all the places in Equestria, you come to this park a-"
"Yes, yes, Twilight," cut Pinkie, "it's very interesting, but I'm busy here."
Twilight grimaced, understanding that she wasn't listening. Reluctantly, she went away.
"Ah don't know what's going into her!" exclaimed Applejack. "It's already the third time this month she's done that!"
"Maybe it's not something that worth worrying about..."
"Oh please, Fluttershy!" Said Rarity while waiving a casual hoof. "I mean, if she'd choose another colour, maybe it wouldn't be that severe, but using carnation in this season, it's just really bad taste."
"I don't think the colour is the main problem here." Noted Rainbow Dash.
The five friends were gathered around the cutie map, each sitting down on their throne. The small dragon was here as well. It's him who spoke next:
"Couldn't it be a trauma?"
"How so?" Asked the rainbow pegasus.
"She hasn't received a hit on the head, though."
"No," explained Twilight, who had also thought of this. "A trauma in her memory, Applejack."
"That's a thing?"
"The story of the pool with the other Pinkies must have shocked her," pursued the alicorn, "she realised that, despite all of her good will, her joy and recklessness could cause damages."
"It was ages ago!"
"Maybe, Rainbow. But maybe she's in a phase of doubt. Maybe she has the impression of just being a reflection of her former self. Remember, at that time, she had not even being able to tell if she was the real one or not."
"You think she would come to doubt herself?" Worried Rarity. "To the extend she would think she's not better than one of her clones?"
"And that watching paint dry again would be a way to prove to herself that she's better than this...?" Whispered Fluttershy. "Just like when it happened...?"
Twilight quietly nodded, each of her friends sharing their reactions to that thought.
"Pfff."
Rainbow rolled her eyes, flying off her seat to grab everyone's attention.
"That's non-sense. Pinkie's not like that. And what, it would happen all of the sudden, even though we saved the world again? Even if she helped Cheese to find back his smile?"
"She received Discord's magic," tried Fluttershy, who disagreed with the wonderbolt. "I think it would be enough to traumatise anyone. It directly affected her mind, if you recall."
"That would be why, ya think?" Said Applejack, raising an eyebrow, scratching her chin.
"I don't know, but it probably didn't helped."
"She was always a bit special anyway." Added Rarity. "No offense."
"Don't worry, Rarity," reassured Twilight with a kind smile. "I think we can all agree that Pinkie is a special case."
"Eyup!"
"That's exactly the problem."
Eyes turned to the little dragon, who explained himself:
"How do we even know what's going on in her head?"
"Should we ask Maud?" suggested Rarity.
Twilight pouted a bit, unconvinced.
"I'm not sure they understand each other very well."
"Oh, believe me Twilight, Maud knows when something is wrong with her sister."
"Let's go get her then!" said Rainbow, ready to get out, full speed.
"What is she doing...?" whispered the pegasus with a nervous face.
It had already been a good ten minutes since Maud had sat down next to her sister, looking in the same direction as her. Contrary to Pinkie, she would also occasionally slowly move her eyes toward her sister. Maud's impassibility contrasted heavily with the pink mare's determined look.
"I don't know." Muttered Twilight, observing the whole scene from afar with the others. "But she knows what she's doing... I suppose..."
"I think she's trying to put herself in her place..." noticed Fluttershy.
"Ugh, could she hurry up a bit?" Complained Applejack. "I got some things to do."
"I can always leave, Applejack." Retorted Rarity with a haughty air. "If you don't care about your friend's well being."
"Grmpf..."
As the farming mare was grumbling, Maud suddenly stood up and went towards them.
"Well?" immediately inquired Twilight, closing in on her.
The rocktorated stopped in front of the six, staring at the princess with her immovable look. She declared:
"You should leave her. She's fine."
"What!?" exclaimed Rainbow, pointing a hoof at Pinkie. "You call that being fine!?"
Maud slowly deviated her eyes towards hers, replying:
"She's fine."
"But..." tried Fluttershy, "she never stays alone like this, usually. Doing nothing."
"She's not doing nothing. And she's not alone."
Pinkie's six friends looked at Maud, incredulous and a little dazed. Without another word, she walked between them and went away, as they were still staring at her.
Then their attention turned back to the laughter mare. It's true that she wasn't doing nothing, so to speak, she was watching paint dry. But for Pinkie Pie, it was more or less the same, damn it! The simple fact that she stood in place for so long, without moving or laughing, was a worrying sign! And she was supposedly fine?
However, Maud's last sentence gave Twilight something to think about. Pinkie was indeed alone, in the park, between hedges and statues. But maybe she wasn't truly alone. In her head, or maybe...?
A smile appeared on the alicorn's face. Tender. She turned around.
"Let's go home," she said, her friends looking astonished at her.
"What?" said Rarity, puzzled. "Like that? Without doing anything?"
"You heard Maud. She's fine. There's no need to worry."
Rainbow went in front of her to block her way.
"Wowowowowow, wait a minute. When you're doing that face, it means you understood something, so explain to us."
"I'll explain to you later," said Twilight with kindness. "It's no use bothering her any longer."
"Later when?" asked Applejack, very much intrigued by all this.
"Tomorrow. Don't worry."
The six went home, Twilight thinking about what she had understood about the situation.
The sun was gradually setting down below the horizon. The paint had almost completely dried. It's at this moment that Pinkie finally stood up, took back the pink piece of cardboard, going back to where she had waiting the whole day. She was smiling, even though no inhabitant was present.
"That was fun." She said, without an ounce of lies. "I like spending time with you. See you in two weeks, I'll try to find another colour. Carnation is pretty, but pretty boring after a while."
No answer came. And for good reason, only trees, flowers and statues were around her. Apart from two purple eyes watching her from a distance.
"Oh well. Have a good evening. I hope you won't get too bored until then. See you."
She put the cardboard on the ground, putting some rocks on it so it wouldn't fly off, and left, joyfully hopping, as usual.
Twilight waited a bit before getting out of her hiding spot. Looking where Pinkie had gone, she went to the cardboard.
She only gave it a quick look. The paint was normal, she knew it, but it wasn't this that interested her. Her eyes went to the statue in front of which it was.
Maybe she should have started there. The statue Pinkie had stood next to. It had seemed so secondary, since it was practically in the middle of the park.
Twilight alternately looked at Chrysalis, Tirek and Cozy Glow. Frozen in stone. It seemed to confirm what she was thinking.
"Oh, Pinkie..." she said with a tender twinge in the heart. "Even after all they've done, you still don't want them to feel sad and abandoned..."
It was logical, in some way. Perfectly in her friend's nature. And, after all, what better activity than to watch paint dry when you want to do something with people that can't move? Pinkie probably appreciated this activity for the memories it brought to her. Twilight and her friends had been in the wrong.
The alicorn looked into the petrified eyes of the three creatures. How could one know what they thought of it? Did it really matter? The princess gave herself a moment to think about it, then went away.
Her friend was doing a good action. An action that could even have seemed too kind for many. Might as well let her continue in peace.
Noted should not be capitalized. Spellchecker automatically capitalizes after a period. You could fix it by reordering the sentence ... Rainbow Dash noted.
Also, "colour" is the British spelling. We Yanks spell things slightly different. Blame Noah Webster.
Wrong verb tense.
Being = present tense
Was = past tense
Had = past tense
Verb tenses should agree.
I'm not going to fill up your comment section with corrections. They're not of general interest. You can get a FREE proofreader from The Proofreader Group right here on site.
Also, you could join as many groups as possible & post in their group.
You could also post on Archive of Our Own
They would (hopefully) get you more readers
11609689
I don't use an autocorrect and that fiction was done before I had learned about how to properly punctuate in between dialogues. I should correct this one one day as well. Thanks for the comments, still.
Oh and I use UK spelling when there's a difference. Sorry. It's on purpose.
11609772
Oh. I saw it was recently posted & just assumed it was a recent work.
11609793
I started translating at the beginning of the year x) The work is still recent yeah but I've made a lot of progress since. ^^
11609798
Well, if your English is up to it, I recommend some educational videos from the 1970s called School House Rock. The Grammer Rock subset (details the parts of speech (nouns, verbs, etc.)) + Mr Morton Walks (sentence structure). They're short, only about 3 minutes each.
Also, "Victim of Gravity" is rather amusing. Poor quality animation (just before anime reached the USA. You can always tell stuff from that era by their quality of animation -there ain't none.)