Light lay on the ground, eating yet another semi-rancid breakfast across from Twi while she read a past self’s journal. It was really quite enlightening before it devolved into endless, barely coherent rants about murder and revenge.
She paused on a page where it off-handedly mentioned finding a few copies of the element of magic. “Hey, Twi, have you seen any duplicates of our crown around here?”
“Yeah,” she said without lookin up from her meal. “Why? They’re worthless.”
“Do you think anything would happen if we collected six copies of them, waited for four more of us to show up, then tried to use them?”
Her duplicate looked up, incredulous. “Are you kidding? Of course not! Even if they still had magic, which by all appearances they do not, the best you could hope for is nothing at all. At worst, them all being the same element could cause a reaction or kill us or something.”
Light sighed. “Look, I know it’s a long shot, but you don’t have to be defeatist. Also, you know those ‘possibilities’ are a complete exaggeration. The elements could never hurt somepony with pure intentions.”
“Maybe not,” Twi shot back, “but that doesn’t make your ideas any less crazy. Getting your hopes up and wasting energy on such plans will only break your spirit faster, and believe it or not, I would rather that not happen.”
“Well I—“ Pop! She cut off at the all too familiar sound. The sound of a teleport.
Both Twilights rushed over to the center, unable to see what it was from where they sat at the prison’s edge. They could hear it though. Screaming. Definitely a mare, though not Twilight. Her initial response was always shock and curiosity, not the stark terror those wails implied. That came later, when she realized what had happened.
Light arrived at the corpse pile just moments after hearing the thump of a body landing. Twi moved a little slower—on account of her bad leg—but in short order, they were both climbing over bodies, searching for the source of those screams. Whoever this was, she hadn’t bounced and rolled off the corpses as Light had, and so instead became lodged somewhere amongst the bodies. Not a fun way to arrive, not that any way could be.
Light stopped. Oh no. Not her.
Lodged between two Twilight carcasses was a trembling yellow pegasus, eyes wide yet uncomprehending. Fluttershy, the very last pony Light would ever have wished this fate upon.
She rushed over, grabbing her friend by her shaking hooves, and pulled her out. “Fluttershy? Can you hear me?” No answer, though Light was hardly surprised, given the shock the poor pegasus must’ve be feeling. “It’s me, Twilight. I need you to come with me. Everything’s going to be okay.” That last was a lie, of course, but it was all Light could think to say. What else could she do? Admit that they were going to die in there? That she might as well lie down and give up right then? No. Best to find Twi and get Fluttershy to the perimeter where some semblance of order was still kept in place by the pocket dimension’s two occupants.
As if on cue, Twi rounded a heap of blackened guts right in front of them. “Light, did you... Fluttershy?”
Said pony’s eyes widened as a tiny squeal escaped her throat. Then she collapsed. Right into a pool of gruesome cocktail.
Light reacted immediately, scooping up the passed out pony and hauling her out, one yellow leg held so that it wrapped around Light’s shoulders. “Uh, Twi, could I get a bit of help here?”
Twi blinked away her shock. “Oh, right. Here.” She limped over to take Fluttershy’s other side. “I’m ready. Where do you want to take her?”
“The sleeping area. Come on.”
The two of them carried their unconscious friend over and did their best to clean her off. The last thing they needed was for her to wake up only to faint again the moment she realized what she was covered in. That done, they checked her saddlebags. All they found was Fluttershy’s element of harmony. Useless. Twi tossed it aside without a word.
“Well,” Light said, “what reason do you think the current Twilight had for teleporting her?”
“I don’t know.” Twi sighed. “Who cares anyway? It was probably something as stupid and/or lazy as it was with us and the Twilight from that journal. We seem to be pretty good at getting ourselves and others killed for nothing.”
Light frowned. “I’m sure that’s not the case. She had her element of harmony. Maybe they were fighting some new baddie and the current Twilight had to teleport her out of harms way.”
“Wishful thinking. If that were the case, she would have been wearing her element. They were probably just preparing for a journey where they might have to fight a big bad. Or, better yet, maybe she was on her way to get it polished. Given our track record with that spell, I’d bet Fluttershy’s only mistake was being slow in coming or hiding in her cottage or something.”
“Do you always have to be such a pessimist?” Light glared at her clone. “We don’t know that.” She pointed at Fluttershy. “Maybe her death won’t be meaningless. Maybe it really was important this time around.”
Twi raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying you would rather our friends be in actual danger right now?”
“I...” Light stammered, backpedaling at the accusation. “I don’t know. It just has to mean something. Something here has to mean something...” She felt tears starting to form in her eyes. For the hundredth time in her few days there, she found herself wanting to scream. Scream at herself, at the world, everything. She knew she hadn’t been dealt a fair hoof and it outraged her, but she knew not where to direct that anger.
“Uh, Light?”
“What now?” she muttered bitterly.
“She’s awake.” Twi pointed at their friend who, sure enough, was staring wide eyed at the two of them.
“Fluttershy?” Light stepped toward her, wary of causing any more alarm than necessary. “I know it’s dark in here, hard to see, and everything is confusing, but we are here to help. Trust us, we’re your friends.”
Fluttershy just kept staring.
“Hey, listen. Can you give us some indication you hear us? I know, you’re in shock, but can you at least nod your head?”
A few moments passed in silence before Light realized her old friend wasn’t staring at her, but past her. Blankly. With hollow, soulless eyes.
Light gulped. “Oh no.”
Poor girl.
hah, don't :)
This is one of the few horror stories that I feel actually works as a story. A lot of "horror" stories on Fimfic that I've come across were just gore filled messes that gave a strange reason for having the cast of cute ponies devolve into murder happy cannibals. There's an actual story here about the ramifications of doing things the "easy way" and showing the audience how the protagonist can deal with a sudden amount of reasonable guilt that's shoved into their faces. The best part is that the death doesn't cover the story of these characters, it accentuates the mistakes and decisions they've made and will make.
This isn't a gore fest that fetishizes the death of characters for shock value, it's a story about guilt and regret over the mistakes made through ignorance and naiveté. There's death in here and dead bodies, but it's purposeful to moving the story and building the world. The bone tools aren't there because, "Oh my gosh, isn't this creepy too," they're there to show how this dimension works and what the rules are. Same applies for the cannibalism, it's not there for shock it's there for world building and answers questions like, "How long can they live off of flesh? If they're transported there, is there still cellular life? What are the psychological and physical effects that eating flesh can have on them?"
Now, I have to ask myself the question, "Can I read more of this?" Normally, I don't stop reading gore stories because they make me sick, but because I get bored. The characters act OOC, the settings are just set pieces, the motives behind the gore aren't interesting, and I leave the story. But here, I'm interested and perturbed by everything going on and as a self defining pessimist, I can't expect there to be a happy ending that makes reading this story easier. I love the writing, the world building, the characters, but my stomach and mind can only handle so much. I read four chapters when I woke up this morning, a mistake on my part since it was too early to read something like this, and now I have to stop. I'll probably be brought back by my own curiosity and desire to know what happens, but it most likely won't be for a few days. If you're a random reader reading this, then I encourage you to continue. And if AmaranthineDream is reading this, then I just want to say your story is fantastic!
Also, I have a question or two that may be answered in a later chapter. What is the "floor" like? Earlier, you described how there were several foal corpses of Twilight there that could be seen. Are their bodies all lying on a floor or something, or is it so compact with corpses that they're constantly stepping on dead bodies? Also, how would a portal work in a scenario like this? We see Neigh Say use a portal to travel everywhere in Season Nine, so would he have his own dimension of dead bodies for each portal, or do they operate by different rules?
ponies are spoiled for meaning. they have their life talents just handed to them on a silver platter. and guaranteed character development. Well guess what "light", on EARTH us HUMANS have to FIND OUR OWN MEANING and we DON'T even KNOW if it's the RIGHT ONE
Oh... I am not sure what they are gonna do with Flutters. What CAN they do with Flutters?
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This sounded personal.
And personally, I always felt that meaning and significance so candidly handed out by someone else is hollow.
Truly, if one can call themselves a forger of their own destiny it would never come spoon fed to you, without you having to at least understand the universe to the highest possible level you can.
Anything less and it's merely a Childish game, so I suppose in that respect your complaint against them is correct.
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This actually made me laugh, It is true though.