Going to con can be fun, even more so when your dressed as your favorite character from a TV show that you loved to watch, But it can turn around and become quite confusing when you end up BECOMING the big triangle himself, careful who you talk to at con ,you never know what could happen.
Disclaimer I DO NOT own Gravity falls or any of its characters nor my little pony fim
Well at least this Bill doesn't act like how the one from the Show did, hope he doesn't try to take over Equestria, but then again this IS a former human turned into Bill so maybe he won't try what Bill from Gravity Falls did, wonder if he can take on a Pony like form, if so what would his cutie mark look like?
You need a proofreader. If you let me edit your story, I can do edits well! I do have school but we have a break, so I could help a bit. If you want, check out my stories. I proofread them myself, and I very seldom have mistakes! Buy Gold, Bye!
Names Bill. But you can call me your new lord and master for all of eternity!
I'll keep reading if only because I like Bill.
wowie zowie! this got popular quick!
Bill is literally discord if he was a 2D pyramid with a top hat.
8635425
And if he had anger issues
I would, but I cant find anyone to do it ,and I have been asking a lot of my friends on discord to see if one of them could help, none of them can
also much to my surprise this story has gotten quite popularand I wrote this at 1 am in the morning half asleep so I don't even remember writing half this stuff XD
its nice to know that there is another story that has Bill Cipher
My version (more or less the same thing...)
Great first chapter, hope to read more soon 😁
8635425
Although isn't Bill capable of killing?
8647914
Wouldn't discord be as well? It's obviously never been shown, but I'd think he could if he wanted.
8647985
I don't think he does, except in Death Battle/fanfics, but that's about it. His form of chaos is about humor, pranks, being goofy, childish, etc.
8648007
He has the power to manipulate anything from physics to reality, I'm not saying he would, but he could kill someone. All I'm saying
8648064
Like I said, he would only kill in a fanfic or if he was going to be in the next Death Battle.
This seems unnecessary because we're already at Sugarcube Corner. Other than that good chapter.
Story interessing. I like this.
8652244
Its done because "Bill" just left
8653640
I get that but the reader has yet to move to a new location so having that pop up is just confusing.
8653651
This says he just left and the story is mainly told from his perspective.
8653673
No I understand but we are missing a scene where he arrives at a new location. You can't have the pov character leave a location and then cut back to that same location it's confusing to read. When the pov character leaves you need to then either establish him moving to a new location or make it clear the pov changed.
... *smiles an insanely wide smile* Please continue sir.
Oh YES!! Go Bill!
This is gooood
Okay, HUGE complaint from me and writing 101. Use POV switches SPARINGLY. They should be used to to signify a change in scene, not a change in who is speaking. If you have to label something in a story because you do it so much, that's a red flag to stop doing it. My advice for POV switches is that you either, like i said, do it for a change in scene, or have it separated by chapter. With a POV clue in the chapter title. What I would've done in this chapter is had the fight be in Cipher's POV then have the introduction in Celestia's, showing off how he can read minds, and giving a better sense for the awe of Cipher's power Celestia was in. The story seems interesting, but it's really hard to get a proper story going when we don't know who we're supposed to be rooting for. Don't get me wrong, POV switches are a great story element, but they need to be done right or not at all.
I feel this going into "Golden Freddy" territory...
More please!!
Oh look, a Displaced fic... with Bill Cipher... *eyetwitch* One of the greatest villains in animation history reduced to a loser from a convention randomly thrown into Equestria because TV Tropes... *the walls around Alondro begin to bleed and melt* Yes, oh my goodness, yes... I'm going to take my time with this one... make sure the pain never ends...
*and then everything goes back to normal* Eh, why bother. It'll probably die after a few weeks like most of the rest of these cookie-cutter self-inserts.
8737579
i resent that. ive been working on mine for months
?
I know the feeling of slow progress.
8737579
Ssshhh.. You're making Hamster Master jealous for attention.
Lol
Was watching Evil Eye when this popped up.
Oddly fitting...
Hee, I know this is immature of me... ah f@*% it. I'm the 69th person to like the story! XD Any way this story is really good And you have Bills personality down perfect. I can't wait for more
8809984
Thanls! while it may have been a few months since i last wrote something for this story i will be making a new chapter soon,and deleting that really short one and replace it with a better version
Definateley when she is alicorn but before tirek
8822922
I agree.
8822922
i just imagen tirek getting bitchslaped by bill XD
8850613
That is why I want it to be before Tirek
twilicorn before tirek
yes
I just have one thing to say:
i.pinimg.com/originals/2f/1f/ab/2f1fab13df0bbaff935dcb6efc219e40.jpg
Well... This one of the shortest and yet most amusing Chapters I have ever read. Good Job
all the yes
Wow almost 100 likes! if we can hit 100 likes i will make the next chapter an all out party in ponyville!
Decent story. Like it.
Good job, and good luck!!
What was the song, couldn’t find it on Genius