In the living room of the quaint cottage, the synthetic stallion failed to reconcile what he saw with what he felt. Although there were no overt cues, the dwelling exuded estrogen. The couch that held his attention was a prime example of the dissonance. It lacked the frills or pattern that would have screamed femininity, but no one could even begin to conceive that it might be owned by a stallion. The truth of that observation was borne out by the undeniably cute mare who lay upon the living room's centerpiece, snuggling with a blanket. There was something captivating about the gentle rasps her breath made as her barrel rose and fell. Doubtless, if Professor Snape's apprentices were exemplars, this mare would transform into a stunningly beautiful woman.
Barnaby Lee had found his host to have been a perfect gentlemare, sacrificing her own bed so that he might rest unmolested. Still, he had found the foreign environment disquieting, and the first rays of dawn had quickly roused him to full wakefulness. He had quietly made his way to a guest chair in the living room. From this perch, he had watched his hostess peacefully dosing on her makeshift bed.
As he watched, he reflected on what he had learned about the mare. She had told him she was a teacher, unwittingly triggering an old fantasy. If he could persuade Primus Tiara to lend him her transfiguration ring, he could no doubt convince his soon to be erstwhile bride to "test the merchandise" as Carrot Top had so crassly suggested. In fact, he should be able to get that mare and her friend Berry to join them in what would no doubt be the educational experience of a lifetime.
The best part was that he would have sated his desires, and with the end of the winter break, the laws of this land would let him escape, unfettered. The mayor had already started the process to nullify the contract with a letter to their princesses. The mare fully expected her ruler to arrive the next day to void the contract. Since Barnaby himself had taken no action to prompt this response, he would have fulfilled his obligation to his primus while regaining his freedom.
It was a perfect Slytherin scenario. Carrot Top had practically thrown herself at him, and he should have no problem manipulating her to persuade Berry and Cheerilee to satisfy their curiosity. Transfigured, the trio should sport assets that would put any supermodel to shame. A few honeyed words should make the mares think that it was their idea to take advantage of him. Once he had taken his fill, he could easily play the part of the victim, with no one being the wiser.
From his perch on the guest chair, Barnaby Lee licked his lips in anticipation as he watched Cheerilee slumber. Like any typical seventeen-year-old boy, he let his imagination run wild, shifting in his seat as he attempted to conceal his mounting excitement. Getting that ring would be his top priority.
Marcy Weiss found that, from a professional standpoint, she could not be happier. Her tutoring position was a teacher's dream assignment. Mr. Discord's contract had given her so much leeway that her colleague Richard's seemed like a short leash. The trio from Gryffindor were the only students she was obligated to tutor. She was free to teach anyone else she desired. She had let the student body know that she was open to teaching anyone who was willing to learn, so there were no malcontents among her students. The entirety of Ravenclaw had jumped at her offer, as had two thirds of both Slytherin and Hufflepuff. Gryffindor had unsurprisingly been less academically inclined, with only half of the house taking advantage of this invaluable resource. The remaining did not want to exchange their nap time for actual learning.
Her students were acutely aware that Marcy was under no obligation to teach them, and they did their utmost to avoid the alternative. Discipline was self-administered. While they were far from being perfect students, they were always on their best behavior.
Ron Weasley was the proverbial red lantern, who, if left to his own devices, would be the epitome of a slacker. However, loyalty to his year mates, or herd, as they were apt to call themselves, had prompted him to put in enough effort to scrape along at a barely-acceptable level. Marcy had noted that Mr. Weasley had unwittingly absorbed some good study habits despite his avowed disdain for academics. Surprisingly, Scoot Aloo had also made a similar adaptation and consistently remained a step or two ahead of Ron.
Still, she had needed to occasionally provide firm guidance to keep that pair on the right path. It had taken a few reminders that they were her true responsibility to convince them to consistently do their utmost to learn. Mr. Discord had given her ample incentive to see that the Gryffindor first-years were properly educated; he was paying her the salary of a full professor while giving her only the obligation of a tutor.
There was a distinct downside to the position. In a normal setting, her greatest obstacle would have been coordinating her curriculum with the schedule of the sanctioned class. Instead, she found herself teaching in a vacuum. An audit of Professor Binns' classes had revealed they were, for the most part, a waste of time. While his incessant droning about the Goblin wars was factually accurate, he simply did not do any teaching. As a ghost, he could not collect homework. He could not discipline students. He could not administer tests. He could not even allow himself to be interrupted by student questions.
Marcy had found that she alone would have to shoulder the responsibility of teaching her students. To meet Hogwarts' standards, she had used a copying charm on her students' homework, and she had placed the duplicates on the same table where those still in Binns' classes turned in their assignments. Since the ghost could not correct the papers, house elves repurposed them as a convenient form of tinder. Marcy, however, graded the originals and returned them to her students. She was determined to see that Magical Britain would no longer have the worst history marks among the ICW members.
The first term had featured some unexpected changes. When Marcy had first arrived at the school, she had been sharing a common room with Richard. When Richard had taken on the DADA post that Quirrell had abandoned, the former auror had taken the former professor's quarters, and Richard's assistant had moved into his old room.
Richard's assistant had proven to be eccentric, to say the least. Miss Fizzlepop Berrytwist was as far from normal as Marcy could expect anyone to be. Her hair coloring was the most obvious indication; there was no way any person should have hair the colors of a dying star, but Marcy was in the position to know it was natural. Stranger still was the fact that Fizzlepop seemed to be a naturist at heart. Marcy was sure that the woman would have blithely wandered the hallways in her birthday suit had Marcy failed to explain the concept of modesty.
Fizzlepop had certainly shown no hesitation in flaunting her body around Marcy. The tutor blushed at the thought of how well-sculpted the assistant's body was. Fizzlepop had some strange perceptions about personal space, physically greeting Marcy as if it were the norm. The way the assistant had nonchalantly tried to join Marcy in the bath had convinced the tutor that Fizzlepop was looking for a more intimate relationship; Marcy almost regretted that she was unable to reciprocate such affection.
To Marcy's surprise, Fizzlepop's magical education seemed woefully inadequate. The assistant was constantly roping Marcy into teaching her the basics. Surely, her other attributes must have convinced Mr. Discord to install her as Richard's assistant. Marcy sincerely hoped that those attributes were complementary to what the ex-auror offered. She shuddered to think that the assistant might have been hired for non-academic reasons.
Yawning, Marcy left her private room, intent on making her way to the Great Hall for breakfast. She stopped short in the common room when she saw something strange laying on a couch, reading a book. When Marcy’s door clicked shut, it looked up from its studies and smiled at her.
“Good morning, Marcy,” said the small horse.
Marcy blinked. “Fizzle?”
“Who else would it be?” Fizzle asked in her maddingly stoic voice.
Thinking quickly, Marcy compiled the clues. “You confiscated one of the first year’s rings?”
“No,” Fizzlepop said. “Graceful Charm went home for the holidays and was kind enough to lend me hers, since she won’t be needing it.”
Thinking of the potions apprentice with lime green and aqua hair, Marcy asked. “Why did she have one of the first year’s rings?”
“So she could walk around as a human,” Fizzle said, returning her gaze to her book. “They have a rule here that we are supposed to be human outside our chambers.”
“Graceful is supposed to be a horse?”
“What?” Fizzle asked dangerously.
“I asked if Graceful was born a horse?”
“We are ponies.” Fizzle grated. “Calling us horses is . . . rude.”
“Sorry, I’m just . . .” Marcy fought for words. “You were born a pony?”
“Yes.”
“All of Professor Snape’s apprentices were born ponies?”
“Yes.”
“All of the first year Gryffindors were born ponies?” Marcy gasped.
“No, only three of them were.”
“Oh.” Marcy looked at the stub of a broken horn on Fizzle’s forehead. “What happened to your head?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh.” Marcy would have backed up away from the hostility in Fizzlepop’s voice if her door hadn’t closed behind her. “Um, why haven’t you had the school nurse fix it?”
“What?!” Fizzle’s head shot up.
“It’s only bone. I’m sure if you asked her Madam Pomfrey could . . .” *Slam!* Marcy found herself talking to the closed door leading to the school corridor. There had better be some coffee for breakfast; tea just wasn’t going to cut it this morning.
From a distance, the heavily bundled children waiting at the curb in front of the suburban house looked like the three bears. Puffs of condensation formed as Dean looked at the sky and said, "Red sky in morning, shepherd's warning."
Rosie bounced in time with a disco tune that only she could hear. Her siblings watched as she finally sang the chorus.
The reality of the situation hit Eva in the face. Shocked, she declared, "We're not taking the bus!"
“Yes, we are,” Dean stated. “Dad says I need to help out around the house, so that means we’re going grocery shopping.”
“It’s not too cold to walk to the supermarket,” Eva protested.
“It is too,” Dean said. “Besides, we’d have no way to get all the groceries home, and my money only works in the wizarding world.”
“We could carry it,” Eva suggested. “I’ll bet they wouldn’t mind too much if we borrowed a cart and brought it right back. Besides, you can exchange witch money for normal money.”
“No, they get mad if you take their carts, and to get normal money, I’d need to go to the goblin bank, which would mean a ride on the bus anyway.”
“Can’t I wait here?” Eva whined.
“No, you can’t,” Dean said. “Mum and Dad said I have to watch you when they're at work, and they told you, you have to listen to me. We’re going shopping for food so they don’t have to worry about keeping the heat on.”
Eva blinked away tears. “Okay,” she agreed meekly.
“The bus is fun,” Rosie declared.
“No, it’s not,” Eva said. “It scares me.”
“Just keep your eyes closed, and you’ll be fine,” Dean said as he raised his wand. There was a bang, and then the Knight Bus was parked right in front of them.
“Good morning kiddies,” the attendant said, opening the door for them. “Off to visit some friends or family, are we?”
“We’re going grocery shopping,” Rosie declared. “We’re being helpful around the house.”
“It’ll be Wheatbound Row you’ll be wanting, then,” the driver said. “Normally, I’d say you were too young to be going so early by yourselves, but with the weather set to take a turn for the worse, there will be plenty of responsible types present to see that you don’t get yourselves in too much trouble.”
“Dean Thomas!” a voice called out from inside the bus. “Eva Thomas! Rosie Thomas! Over here.”
“Miss Heartstrings.” Dean waved as Rosie bounced up the steps and into the arms of the waiting woman. “And Miss Bon Bon. What are you doing on the bus?”
Bon Bon sat on a thinly upholstered straight-backed chair, clutching a trembling Hedwig in her lap. “We are picking up the Dursleys for a hospital visit. Unfortunately, this was our only option for transportation from Emma Granger’s house.”
Dean pressed his bank key in the receptacle for payments before dragging Eva onto the bus. “Couldn’t you have just owled yourselves?”
“No, the Dursleys can’t open owl pouches.” Lyra shook her head. “Hedwig will be able to get us back home after she’s done with her nervous breakdown, though.”
Dean noted that the owl was wearing a neatly tailored white pouch on her breast. “I don’t think she likes the bus much.”
“Smart bird,” Eva added, plopping herself on a rattan rocking chair promptly screwing her eyes shut.
“You may want to choose something more stable if the jerking motions bother you so much,” Bon Bon suggested, petting Hedwig in an attempt to keep the owl calm. Bringing her on the Knight Bus had been a bad decision. “Where are you foals headed?”
“Grocery shopping!" Rosie said, bouncing in Lyra's lap. “We’re helping out around the house!”
“Does your mother know you’re going?” Bon Bon asked suspiciously.
“It’s going to be a surprise,” Dean said, wiggling on his ottoman.
Bon Bon sighed. “If I didn’t already know you were a Crusader . . . Lyra, would you mind going with them and making sure the markets are still standing when they’re done?”
“I was just about to suggest the same thing,” Lyra said, petting Rosie’s hair in a manner similar to how Bon Bon was petting Hedwig.
“Thanks for getting us out of the owl pouch, Rarity,” Twilight said, picking herself up off the boutique's showroom floor. “I need to talk to Dylan about some sort of mechanism that allows for the pouch to automatically open upon arrival . . . preferably something involving soft padding or a mattress, as opposed to landing on hard floors.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Rarity said, using her magic to pick Spike and his rucksack up off the floor. “Though it is a small price to pay for spending the night with your beau.”
“You have no idea.” Twilight grinned. “I know humans are serial monogamists, but I’m feeling really guilty keeping Sirius all for myself.”
“I’m sure it will only take a little persuasion to get him to agree to a proper relationship,” Rarity said, floating Spike closer for a welcoming kiss on his cheek. Any awareness he may have had of the conversation went down the drain.
“I have plans along those lines,” Twilight said, “but they will have to wait. We have enough to do today as it is.”
“Rainbow Dash and Big Mac should be along shortly.” Rarity answered Twilight’s unasked question.
“Big Mac?”
“Yes.” Rarity placed Spike on the ground. “We are setting up financial advisors for the Crusaders’ affairs. Applejack may be the best at operating a farm, but I fear anything relating to managing large sums of bits is well outside her limits. Big Mac is the much more sensible choice for today’s outings. It will be a day of fancy mathematics, after all. Besides, there are few mares more capable of looking after all of the foals running around.”
“Speaking of foals, where’s Sweetie?” Twilight asked.
“She and Daphne Greengrass have collected Harry Potter and Magah with the intent of joining their friends at the Apple farm.”
“I think it’s safe to say that we will be having a less eventful day than Applejack,” Twilight said.
“Obviously,” Rarity agreed.
“Applejack?” Apple Bloom said as her sister exited the bathroom, having taken an after chores shower.
“Yes?” Applejack acknowledged.
“Can we build a greenhouse on the edge of the east fields?” Apple Bloom asked with soulful eyes. She had the added support of all of the Crusaders currently in Ponyville, a truly devastating show of cute force.
“Ah suppose that’ll keep ya busy enough fer tha day.” Applejack smiled. “Ya can used the cured wood in the stack over by tha east entrance.”
“Thank you, Applejack.”
“If’n you ask nicely, Ah’m sure the twins an’ Percy Weasley would be glad ta help as well.”
“Fred and George already said they would,” Ginny said.
“Didn’t Percy Weasley want ta help as well?” Applejack asked.
“He made off with three girls while you were in the shower,” Harry said.
“He did now, did he?” Applejack gritted her teeth.
“Yup.”
“Which way did they go?”
The Brown residence stirred as flames flashed green in the living room's fireplace. Lavender walked out of the floo, holding a pouch clutched to her chest. Several seconds later, her older brother, who had graduated Hogwarts just last year, followed her.
“Thanks for taking me to Diagon Alley,” Lavender said gratefully. “I just couldn’t wait for Mum to wake up and take me.”
“Well, you did buy me supper.” Her older brother smirked. “Besides, with me working nights and you being at Hogwarts, most of the time, I need to take the opportunities that present themselves.”
“You’ll love what I got once I put it together,” Lavender said.
“A bag that you ride our owl with? I’ll pass; I prefer to apparate.”
“This is just the first step. I need Mum for the next,” Lavender said before shouting, “Mum! Are you awake yet?!”
“If I wasn’t before, I am now,” Lavender’s mother called out from the downstairs workroom. “Where have you been?”
“Diagon Alley,” Lavender said, following her mother’s voice. “Dale took me. Are you at a good stopping point?”
“I’ve just finished one project, but I have several others that need to be finished in time to be presents for the holidays," her mother said as Lavender entered the room where Mrs. Brown did her rune work. "I’m afraid I can’t spare much time today.”
“I just need you to come with me to pick up a few things,” Lavender said. “It shouldn’t take long.”
“Can’t you have your brother take you again?”
“No, I need a parent with this time.”
“That doesn’t sound too encouraging.” Lavender’s mother fixed her daughter with a stern glare. “You’re not planning anything dangerous, are you?”
“Nah, we have the same items in the common room at school,” Lavender said, heading directly to her mother’s owl. “I just need you with to buy some of them.”
“I suppose I could take a break,” her mother said, planning on evaluating the purchases before they were made.
Wheatbound Row turned out to be a small community that specialized in foodstuffs and was accessed in a manner similar to Platform 9 3/4. The noticeable lack of those wizards and witches who would have considered themselves of proper pureblood breeding made for a more welcoming atmosphere.
“A store dedicated to selling meat?” Lyra shuddered, her love of humans warring with her pony sensibilities as she followed the children into the butcher shop. “I’m just happy it’s me with you instead of Bon Bon; she’s still shaken over the ‘eating cows’ thing.”
“Yup,” Eva said. “We can get all kinds of good stuff in here.”
“I want mince pie.” Rosie informed everyone.
“I heard you the tenth time.” Dean snorted.
“You’ll forget if I don’t keep reminding you,” Rosie said.
Growling, Dean snatched a package from a festive holiday display. “Here, have a chocolate frog. Just let me have some quiet.”
Rosie took the package and started turning it over to inspect it while Dean turned his attention to the wizard behind the counter. “We’d like to start with a goose.”
“And mince pie.”
“And a couple mince pies.” Dean gritted his teeth.
The wizard looked at Dean then glanced up at Lyra for confirmation. When she nodded, he turned his attention back on Dean, only to snap it back on Lyra in shock. “You’re not planning to start singing, are you?” he asked cautiously.
“I don’t have any particular desire to,” Lyra said, tilting her head in confusion.
“Eeeeeeeee!” Everyone in the store jumped at the sound of the screaming little girl.
*Stomp!* *Stomp!* *Stomp!*
“Rosie!” Dean exclaimed.
*Stomp!* *Stomp!*
“Rosie!” Dean exclaimed again.
*Stomp!* *Stomp!* *Stomp!* *Stomp!*
“Eva, don’t help her!” Dean shouted.
“It moved!” both girls cried together.
“Of course, it did!” Dean screamed. “It was a chocolate frog!”
“Why did you give it to her?” Eva demanded.
“So, she could eat it,” Dean growled.
His younger sisters shot him a pair of withering glances.
Sighing, Dean turned back to the now-laughing wizard. “As I was saying, a goose.”
“And mince pie.”
“A couple mince pies,” Dean said, “as well as two boxes of chocolate frogs.”
Mystic Book was reading the newspaper when she sensed more than heard something land on the counter near her head. She was surprised to see an owl staring back at her. She couldn’t honestly say who was more bewildered, she or the bird.
“Who,” the owl said, giving the unicorn the letter it held in its talons.
“Thank you,” Mystic Book said cautiously as she daintily took the letter in her magic. She reread it three times before looking back at the avian. Sure enough, it was wearing a satchel. Warily, Mystic Book brought her horn closer to the object. In turn, the owl took a step backwards.
“Hold still,” Mystic said. “I’m just following the instructions.”
The owl skeptically looked at her, but it held its position.
“Est dimtree,” Mystic said once her horn was in place. “No, that wasn’t right.” She sighed and floated the letter over to have another look. “Ex dimittere?”
The bag emitted sounds reminiscent of a violin being devoured by a manticore, and something out of the darkest legends popped out. For a second time, Mystic Book wasn’t sure who was more surprised, she or the minotaur-like creature that was getting to its feet.
“Is this Ponyville again?” the creature asked once it was standing, its head barely clearing the ceiling.
“No, you’re in Canterlot, but we do have a train that stops in Ponyville,” Mystic said, doing her best not to cringe away.
“We’re not going to Ponyville,” a voice near her hooves said. “We’re here to buy more crystals.”
Looking down, Mystic saw an earth pony filly whom she’d never forget. Somehow, the child had managed to come in without Mystic noticing. “I’ll be with you in just a sec,” Mystic said and, as discreetly as possible, put herself between the filly and the strange creature.
The filly lifted a hoof to cover a giggle. “She’s with me.”
“Really?” Mystic asked as the filly scooted around her legs to stand next to the towering oddity.
“Yup, we’d like everything we purchased last time I was here,” the lavender filly said.
“I remember that sale,” Mystic replied, not taking her eyes off the taller customer. “How could I forget something bought with a promissory note from the Princess?”
“I could sit on the floor, if you like,” the creature said. “I’m sure I’d be less imposing if I were at eye level.”
“Where are my manners?” Mystic closed her eyes for a second and gave her head a small shake. “Bonjour, and welcome to Enchantment Essentials.”
“Enchantment Essentials?” The creature had interest in her voice as she looked around at the shop’s contents. “I’m going to have a look around while you’re helping Lavender.” She pulled a stick out of the clothing she was wearing and strolled over to examine a shelf of merchandise.
Mystic watched the creature walk off before returning her attention to the filly. “You didn’t bring another promissory note from the Princess, did you?” she asked.
“No, I was planning on writing one of my own this time. We have a lot of bits in the bank now,” The filly answered.
Mystic noted that the filly had yet to receive her cutie mark but decided that the resulting lack of security was worth the financial risk. “Of course, I wouldn’t expect you to bother her every time you want to buy something.”
“I guess I could have asked her when we were having tea yesterday.” The filly shrugged. “But it honestly never crossed my mind.”
Mystic resolved not to alienate this customer. The filly could just be fibbing, but the previous promissory note was strong evidence to the contrary. “Why don’t I assemble your purchase while you peruse my wares?”
“That’s not a lot of wood,” Harry said, looking at the pile Applejack had said they’d be allowed to use. “And there’s no glass.”
“Not a problem,” Apple Bloom replied. “We’ll jus’ send Sweetie and Ginny to get what we need while we grade the land.”
“Sure, we can just pop over to the store Hermione showed us yesterday,” Sweetie said before calling out. “Philomena, could you come here please.”
“Nah,” Apple Bloom corrected as a burst of flames appeared near Sweetie. “They weren’t wizards. Wizards can shrink it fer easy transport. Jus’ go to Diagon Alley.”
“Good point,” Scootaloo said. “Get the stuff for the foundation first, we’ll probably be done with the leveling before you get done with your shopping.”
From the comfort of his room, Severus Snape was at war with himself as he contemplated the scroll that he had received. He had tried to convince himself that, despite the tumult of his introductions to Zecora and Applejack, he had been cultivating a strictly professional relationship with each woman, exchanging owls with both. In Zecora, he had found a fellow traveler, a potions master like himself. Applejack had proven to be a font of folk medicine. Both offered skills complementary to his. Something in the back of his mind kept trying to tell him that he really wanted more.
Despite his best efforts, each missive exchanged had added to a foundation of a relationship that was more personal, more intimate. With the coming of the holidays, Snape found that the cover behind which he had been hiding had been stripped away. There was no classwork to attend. There were no apprentices to mentor. Now, he had to give a direct answer.
The women had invited him on a date.
At the same time.
At the same location.
Together.
All three of them.
Superego fired the opening volley at id. "This is not the way courtship is supposed to happen!"
Id counterattacked with blasts of its own. "It must be a pony thing."
Ego joined the fray. "Have you lost your mind? This is absolutely terrifying! Just send our regrets and be done with it."
Dual-wielding, id took aim at both antagonists. "Just feel how much we want to go. Minerva said that Lily would want us to be happy, remember?"
Superego returned fire. "This is hardly the proper way to find happiness."
Ego added, "Are you crazy? Both at once? They must have found out about each other and think you're cheating on them."
Id countered. "You know how much it means to have one woman interested in us for who we are, let alone two."
Ego shot back. "You saw what Applejack's daughter could do; we'd be lucky if we just ended up in St. Mungo's with every bone in our body broken, like Dumbledore."
Superego fired his own blast. "The proper thing to do would be to find some excuse not to go. Any excuse."
Id suddenly grew, towering over his opponents, eyes blazing with power. "We want to go."
Snape's world went white.
Poor Snape. He really doesn't know what's happening anymore.
That's one of the things I like about this story, it manages to flit between grim seriousness, cheery fantasy, and bizarre acid trip without missing a beat.
hahahhahah poor snape hahahhahaha
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Or the Tattered Cover in Denver.
The main building, before they moved, actually had a full-on restaurant, so you didn't have to leave the building for totally unimportant things like food and drink.
Currently, the LoDo and Colfax buildings have cafes. Not full restaurants, but hey, you takes what you gets, right? At least you dinna have to leave the boooookssss.....
Horray an Update!
I willsay it's unique that snape isn't getting slammed like Dumbledore in a fic...
I'm honestly not a fan of this plot point.
Not a Snape fan at all.
I still like pretty much everything else in this though...
So I'm sticking around.
Typo corrected.
9571123 What if two thirds of Ravenclaw students were so eager to attend, they counted for double?
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Silly human, you plan your visit to Bibliophile-mecca ahead of time and bring a hiking pack full of approved-to-be-non-book-dangerous energy bars and squeeze-pak drinks.
Bonus points if you bring along parts to construct artillery for your bookfort as you engage in your righteous conquest of knowledge!
Even visiting a restaurant inside a bookstore is still going farther from the books than necessary!
Was there a third woman interested in Snape? Or did he meant Him, Applejack, and Zecora?
The sudden, overpowering growth of Snape's Id was a bit odd... I cannot help but wonder if Discord had a claw in that, making sure Snape actually sought out happiness for once.
I doubt the date will go flawlessly. It's Applejack, an Element of Harmony and sister of Apple Bloom of the CMC, and in Ponyville (or at least I'm guessing on that last part). Things NEVER go smoothly/flawlessly with any one of those factors present, let alone three. Despite that, I hope that it will at least go happily, if not flawlessly. Snape deserves some happiness, as do Applejack and Zecora.
And is Twilight Sparkle still clueless about the common law marriage to Sirius? Oh when her mother gets her hooves on her...
All in all a good chapter. Thank you very much for the update.
I can't wait to see how this date goes.
I'll go get some popcorn ready
Hopefully the ponies will find out the reason for humanity’s “serial monogamy”, the one-to-one gender ratio, through Snape. This misunderstanding is starting to wear thin for me.
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anymore? this is the American style joke, yes? he has had all of Slytherin, half of Ravenclaw, and everyone who has ever so much as glanced at Hufflepuff convinced Harry lives in a castle somewhere in the lap of luxury. he has never known what was going on.
dozing
Think this should be Hufflepuff
Hmm not really, it should be a keratin sheat over a bony support. But same difference fundamentally ^^;;
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Well... this Snape may be different from the one in the potter universe, as this Dumbledore is quite an ass...
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And the Dursleys were secretly decent people the whole time...
Professor Snape the alicorn princes yay
Poor poor child
He will need much water... And new hips
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I’ve been reading about it for much longer than a single story and it still kills me, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
maddeningly
The way I heard that the phrase said "sailor's warning".
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9571095
Severus Snape isn't even that terrible of a person in the canon. Two factors that most people forget is that, firstly, Snape DOES NOT KNOW Harry's real life. Like most of Magical Britain he's assuming the most famous, and one of the wealthiest, wizards in Britain lived like a king before coming to Hogwarts. After all the only 2 people who knew the truth were Albus and Minerva, and neither of them even told anyone else. Consider that when Snape learns that Dumbledore planned to allow Harry to die, because the kid is a horcrux, SNAPE. WAS. PISSED!
Secondly, Snape never got an outsider perspective. He's not someone reading the books, so he can only see/hear/know so much. And from his perspective Harry seems EXACTLY like James Potter. Someone who can never get into real trouble no matter how many rules they break or lives they endanger. The golden boy who could do no wrong. Is this perspective accurate? No. Is it IMMENSELY tainted by Snape's personal history with the Marauders? Absolutely. But he's never confronted with the truth until it's literally too late to do a damn thing about it. Snape is forced to kill Dumbledore shortly after learning about Albus' plan, and even then it is clear Snape is actually TRYING to help Harry while Harry is doing his damnedest to kill the man.
Even in Snape's last moments we see more of the real Severus Snape than you see almost the entirety of the series. Snape's last act is to desperately try to give his memories to Harry, while the latter is GLOATING over his dying body. But the chosen memories aren't secrets designed to help bring down Tommy Boy, but rather personal moments. Snape wanted to share who he really was with Harry, to finally be seen NOT as the masks he was forced to wear in his life (Spy, Evil Teacher, Death Eater) but the man who made a terrible mistake, and spent the rest of his life trying to make up for it.
9571293
And even after he found out Harry's life was crap he still treated Harry like shit. Oh wait he treated all the kids like that.
Dumbledore should have NEVER let that man teach.
He may have been trying to make up for getting Harry's parents killed. All because he never let go of a childhood grudge and someone else got to bang the girl he was obsessed with, No I don't think he loved Lily he was obsessed with her. If he really wanted to make up for it he should have never taken the job at Hogwarts. I've said it before and I'll say it again an able wizard, shitty human being. He may have regretted his actions but that don't make up for the fact he did them. That's all I'll say on it as I know I won't change anyone's mind and my original post was just something I had to get out.
9571291
It's a regional difference, because I grew up on the coast, and heard "Sailor's Warning", but when I moved down to farmer country it became "Farmer's Warning", and other people I know use "Shepherd's Warning"
9571242
Indeed.
9571293
Nailed ...
Not all the creepy guys are bad
9571304
Teaching at Hogwarts wasn’t a choice of Snape’s. He taught there (and was barred from Defence Against the Dark Arts position) because while his loyalties had changed to Dumbledore completely and absolutely, Dumbledore didn’t know for certain. Sure, he defended Snape at Karkaroff’s trial where Crouch Jr. was apprehended, but that was only partial certainty. The moment Dumbledore knew was when Snape waited those two hours on his orders to see Voldemort in Goblet of Fire. That was when he knew Snape was a Light spy posing as a Dark one. The patronus we see in his memories, that of a doe, only solidifies that Snape still loved Lily, to Dumbledore at least.
Snape never found out that Harry was being abused by the Dursleys. Snape never made any attempt to harm Harry beyond normal disciplinary measures, even if he picked on him a bit. Hell, he picked on every non-slytherin house so much that Neville had him as a boggart, certainly something to be looked in to, but he never did anything illegal (that we know of) after he confides in Dumbledore about the prophecy. Hell, he even grows to care for Harry, to quote Dumbledore in his memories: “Don’t tell me you’ve grown to care for the boy.”
Besides, it is said that a person’s true self is revealed in their dying moments. Their final words are the echo of what they are as a human being. Who could hate a man whose last words were a sentence that bore not much meaning until this use, “You have your mother’s eyes.” Couple this with his final word in the series, a word that brings me to tears even still, the man was nothing more than a lost soul looking for love. He is, and “Always” will be, my favourite character in the franchise.
9571293
Uh... Snape the half blood kid who lived in a muggle community and knew for a fact that Petunia DESPISED mages? That one would be convinced that HP was living the life of kings? Not going to work... Canon Snape is a bad person. On that Canon Slytherins are ALL bad persons. The best one are in order Andromeda Tonks née Black of which we know practically NOTHING. Horace Slughorn who fundamentally is a mafia don with tons of back room deal, favours and bypass in place... EVERY time someone gets a "favour" from someone else that lets him goes forward or have a shortcut in some lengthy bureaucratic process it means that someone ELSE who had the right to that got shafted... RAB... he was PISSED that Voldemort had endangered someone close to him and wanted revenge... after that NOT ONE Slytherin is represented as ANYTHING better than a rabid racist coward... Then you have a lot of "posthumous" try to rehabilitate the house, like all the description and test in Pottermore but no... Slytherin as described is on par to the ultra right party in Europe that ask for the expulsion of everyone who vaguely looks of middle eastern descent...
9571310
So... the takeaway is that it's bad no matter where you are?
9571304
Snape as a character is QUITE interesting and plausible. Simply he is NOT a good person, One of the reason he was teaching at Hogwarts is that he is undeniably one of the BEST potion maker in the wizarding UK, AND he was amenable to teach, someone with his expertise could probably earn a LOT more just making potion to sell than what he would get at Hogwarts, that combined with the incredible few numbers of wizards may quite easily lead to the fact that he is the ONLY one who can teach at Hogwarts. [Going by the numbers of Hogwarts students it seems that there are something like three thousand wizard in the WHOLE UK...]
9571359
Plausable yes.... but as skilled as he was at Potions.. he did not have the temperament for teaching.
9571351
That part I bolded. That is something NO teacher should ever do, EVER.
Rowling did a piss poor job selling me on Snape being a decent man. Even if you regret your actions afterwards don't mean it absolves you of doing them in the first place.
9571163
Eh. As a retired military gunsmith, bookstores tend to look upon MY bookforts rather nervously.
Still and all... ration bars, squeeze drinks? The Tattered Cover's original restaurant, the "Fourth Story Restaurant & Bar" (4th Story.. there s a pun for you) had ... lemme see if there's still an original menu online. It was considered "critically acclaimed" in the Denver restaurant scene.
9571384
Well yes... but again what were the other options? We got Slughorn and that only with a HUGE amount of fuss from Dumbledore, and that ONLY because he wanted something else also.
We see the dearth of teachers also with Divination were you have Trelawney...
Oh my ... this just keeps getting better ...
'promptly screwing her eyes shut' or 'and propmptly screwed her eyes shut'
9571141
Time Turners. Whole swaths of Time Turners.
Wait.
Not the pony.
9571384
Snape isn't meant to be seen as a decent man we're just meant to see him as an ultimately good man in the end. He's still very much a bad person but in the end, we understand what made him that way. Remember Snape only betrayed Voldemort to save Lilly he didn't care about James or Harry and only went to Dumbledore because when asked Voldemort refused to spare her.
He's definitely a terrible person but he is also a decent teacher. One person pointed out that Snape always taught by writing the instructions out on the board which seems insignificant until Slughorn takes over and teaches from the textbook. At that point, the only person who excels in that class is Harry and only because he's using Snape's notes.
9571423
The only reason Dumbledore kept Divination as a school subject was because Trelawney turned out to be an actual seer, and had just spewed out the Voldemort prophecy in front of one of his Death Eaters, so hiring her was an excuse to keep her safe.
9571491
Hmm Voldemort didn't refuse to spare Lily, and in fact tried to, for the little amount of effort he could care to use...
When someone explains to somepony that polygamy is actually against the law... yeah, the ponies are going to think humans are totally nuts for that.
The funny part is Id was right all long LoL. I want to see his reaction after knowing the laws of the ponies over courtships. LoL
9571513
He told Snape he wouldn't but ultimately decided to give Lilly a chance. Snape didn't know he would do that and even then it didn't matter as Lilly wound up dead anyways.
9571518
Hmm I don't remember that he explicitly told Snape that he would not...
What I got was that Snape was not so confident on the chance that she would get out of that alive being aware of the modus operandi of Voldemort [Kill anything that may pose any modicum of obstacle] and so went to Dumbledore...
So much chaos on the horizon... Discord must be enjoying this immensely!
Good chapter!
Another fun chapter... and quick as well... I have to wonder if Dogger has any plans to explore Dean's biological father's story... all we know from JK is that he was a wizard that turned down Voldie's recruiting DEs and went on the run to protect Dean and his mother... and that the DEs caught up with him...
Can't say I'm familiar with that proverb. The only red lanterns I know involve either ladies of the night or rage-powered space berserkers.
Heh. Add Tempest's horn to the list of the issues of one world that the other can solve.
I'd note that gold and silver still have value, but the goblin reaction to melting down currency is best left uncontemplated.
I always have liked the idea that Big Mac handles the farm's finances.
And apparently Snape deciding to be happy is too much for the universe to hear.
The Equestrians should inform a little more about their polygamy and herds
I need to borrow Minerva's statement for this situation; “That is rather ambitious of him.”
9571355
No, only for people that need good weather to work their trade.
Oh dear. I can't see the barnaby thing ending in any way other than problematic. If he convinces them for a ride magic makes them wed and Celestia can't do anything about it.
9571618
i did a web search, only got the comic reference of Red Lantern no matter what term i used