This is an OC alicorn story, and I guess you can say he will be powerful, but it goes with the story, if you give it a chance, I'm sure you will like it. It starts out with an unknown alicorn waking up in the ruins of a forest, with no memories and an ominous voice telling him to wake up. From that point on, nopony is safe.
(This is my first attempt at a fanfic, it's a collaboration between a friend and I, he gave the basic plot and characters, but I wrote it and am making the story from his ideas.)
Chapters (2)
*sigh* I haven't done one of these in a while, you're kinda lucky!
FSR Time!
First of all, what we have here from what I read, we have a mysterious Alicorn waking up in the Everfree with no idea of who he is, this kind of story is VERY overused but many people do it in just the right way to make it awesome, and you sir have the ability I believe.
Grade Time
Character Portrayal: You did a good job with this one, there had been a few flaws with Zecora though, so you get a 9.
Plot: As I previously stated this is a VERY heavily overused plot base, but it looks like it will turn out awesome, so you get an 8
Details: Now I know you stated your writing is not yet perfect, and it isn't, although I do want to follow this story and see your progress as new chapters set in, but for now you have a 7, it felt kinda rushed. But you did only have 6000 words or so, which is still a good amount.
Predictability: Now this one is a bit difficult seeing as how everybody has a different brain, but I predict stories as a hobby and as such I'll be grading you based on my perception, and for now you have a 10, but keep it up or it can and will change.
Your overall grade: 8 out of 10, for a story with amazing potential, good luck!
Thank you so much, first comment and it was great one for me, that gave me a confidence boost, I know the start is a common one, but the story, as far as I'm aware, will be something definitely different than something you've read before.
YUS!
it's okay