Hushed Shadow is a new name given to me by a pack of ‘Diamond Dogs’ that I’ve grown close to in a matter of only a few hours. They are actually pretty fun to be around. Although their names still elude me, other than the old dog Powell and the first diamond dog I met, named Zander. Both names seem familiar to me. They resemble things and people I’ve heard about in my old world. But I can’t stay forever; I know I need to leave and hunt for food that I desperately need.
Also I’ve made it my mission to head north to find ponies, and analyze them. Maybe mingle amongst them and learn more about their culture. I can’t deny the idea of learning more about another culture will be the most exciting thing I would do in my entire life. I’ve learned so much about diamond dogs and their culture, and I found I loved every bit of it. Taking the next step, and moving around to find ponies is a given, when my adventuring instincts come in. But there’s a small pang in my heart as I thought of leaving my new friends.
Also I’m more fascinated by Powell’s description of the mountainside castle. I wanted to see for myself if it actually hangs off the side of the mountain, or is just simply built into it. All I really know is that it’s made of something similar to marble, and its walls are NOT brick. He described them as being a full wall of white rock that’s not only beautiful, but also a singular material structure. This led me to believe the castle was possibly expertly carved into the mountain, just like Mt. Rushmore.
Powell gave me interesting information about wolves that I never knew about. When wolves howl, it’s so they can find their way back to their pack. My race does it to get back to a pack, and their mate. Diamond dogs however, have more complex howls. I’ve already witnessed a howl that’s meant to summon the pack to a location. They use this when digging, when they find good ores, or even to designate a location they would get together in. Diamond dogs also have a war howl, where they will attack everything they know isn’t one of them. There’s also a howl of mourning, when sadness needs to be expressed, such as the death of a loved one.
Some howls are even personalized by the pack, for symbolic and meaningful purposes. Some packs have their own singing howls that are unique to the point that they only have meaning to a select few. These howls are used during their rituals, or simple family meetings, to summon other dogs of their pack. Some howls are personalized to each diamond dog so everyone knows who is howling and that they need something. This only works in large communities of diamond dogs.
For a single hour, the small pack of diamond dogs began to howl to me their different types of howls. Each seemed to be subtly different, despite the obvious similarities of the howls. There were several howls that I found impressive and remembered, while there were many more that I still have yet to master. Eventually we came to an agreement to aid each other when we howl for help. I’d do a few stealthy things for them if they asked it of me, while they’ll come to my assistance if I get in a jam when in the town called ‘Ponyville’. They made an exception if I couldn’t hear them, because of how far it is. Sound doesn’t travel all that far when in a forest.
When I first heard the town's name, I found it strange and unusual. But then I realized that humans name their cities after famous people or families. Or after other names, like ‘New York’ is named after the British town, York. Assumedly, because of the similarities of the ports or simply just because the American settlers were British, and needed a reminder of home. Also America was named after an adventurer who helped discover it. Although, it was actually a Spanish name, so it ended in an ‘o’. I forget the original name that was changed or made English. Even the state Florida, is actually a Spanish name.
So each of the names I heard of Equestria's cities seemed reasonable to me. I’ve actually face-palmed a few times when people tell me Essen is a strange name for a city. Essen is a town or city in Germany that I remembered. I forget why, though. Possibly a family name, or the name of a mineral nearby or something. Again, I’m not an expert, but it just interests me.
I was more worried about the Princesses that Powell told me about. He gave me an explanation of magic that I found both interesting and terrifying. But he said that I have a natural resistance to magic. Griffons used to hunt my race until ponies stopped them through threats of war. Coats of Ezo wolves were rare, and always had strange properties that everyone was after. Griffons made jackets that were magic resistant, and they allowed them to defeat powerful unicorns.
Equestrians would also try to cash in on the rarity of my coat as well. But again, they were stopped because of the Princess, and her strict 'no hunting endangered animals' law. Eventually, my race moved into the shadows and hid from everything that wasn't a dog. According to Powell, diamond dogs were the source of most sightings until a few hundred years ago, when my specific Ezo family became no more than legend.
After spending the night in the dark cave, I woke up to the sound of loud snoring early in the morning. Several of my new friends were sound asleep, while I was rudely awoken at what I assume was five in the morning. I looked over at Zander, and found he too was awake. He was watching over Powell, as he slept soundly. Powell was surprisingly asleep while still sitting upright. I would smile at this, but my eyes wandered back to Zander.
He seemed so worried for the old codger. But I can see why. Powell is very old, looking. I know old dogs like the next animal lover. Soon he’ll run away from home and die, where his sons won’t mourn him. But maybe he’s just as wise as I thought, and he’d ask his sons to be with him when the time comes. Certainly, it’s on everyone’s mind when they enter the same room. I share their worry, and I know why they worry.
I stood up to announce my alertness. Zander saw it and looked at me solemnly. He tried to hide his worry when he realized he was looking at me, but it was too late. I motioned for him to follow me by swinging my head toward the entrance of the cubby hole. He nodded and got up as quietly as he could. My sensitive ears picked up and I caught his joints cracking as he stood up.
I walked into the darkness and promptly disappeared. Zander followed behind me and soon he was beside me as we walked through the tunnels. My visibility quickly reduced down to the point I couldn’t see. I then used my nose to find the lingering scent of diamond dog. I followed it through the cave, trying to find the entrance.
A voice spoke behind me, breaking the silence. “Hushed Shadow,” Zander started. “Sorry you saw my weakness. All dogs die, even diamond dog. Father is one of best diamond dogs. True inspiration for pack.” he pounded his chest with pride.
I let him speak. I wanted to leave the mine, but I also wanted to spare his feelings. I thought of a way to spare his emotions while I get what I want.
“Hey Zander?” I spoke in animal universal and paused for a moment to collect my thoughts.
He looked at me with a frown. “Ah yes. You didn’t ask me to follow to talk about Powell.” I was about to retort when he interrupted me. “No, brother Hushed. Diamond dog matter not concern you. You are pack of one, and will remain pack of one for long time. Us are friends now, and together we’ll be, when help, we need.” Zander sagely stated.
“I’ll keep that in mind…” I hesitated as Zander turned to leave, but I finished what needed to be said, “Friend.”
Zander smiled at me with an affectionate gaze, and started walking ahead. I followed suit and walked beside him so I could see the glow of his eyes. I walked as close to him as possible, without actually bumping into him. As we walked I was aware of the loose dirt and rock around us. Since we walked slower, rather than faster like last time, I was able to get a proper assessment of the structural integrity of the cave itself. I may not be an expert in mining, but it doesn’t mean I don’t know random and potentially useless bits of information.
We walked unhindered by any cave-ins, or creatures that wandered inside. I silently questioned the fact that I have yet to see anything in the caves other than the diamond dogs. I became aware of my steps on the ground, as my natural situational awareness kicked in. I discovered that whenever Zander walked, he left large paw prints. But despite the fact of me being lighter and smaller than him, I left behind almost unnaturally small prints. I don’t feel very light weight, yet the paw prints left behind were so light, you’d think someone just dropped a small stone there and picked it up.
I tore my view away from the ground and looked forward. I saw the tunnel was beginning to illuminate in front of us. I silently thanked whatever divine being may exist here, for allowing me to leave without getting lost in the caves. I almost rushed for the exit the moment it came into view. But I remained by Zander's side, because of the trust that I developed between him and his pack overnight.
We stopped outside the cave entrance I looked up at the early morning sky. The sun wasn’t out yet, and I guessed from the darkness it was possibly five or six o’clock. I looked back at Zander, trying to find a way to say goodbye. He smiled and nodded to me, while returning to the seat I saw him at when I first met him. Beside the chair was the same spear I saw with him the other day. I wondered why it was still there. But I also wondered why the wheel was also still there, and to me the fact that it was outside, rather than inside, seemed to be the most pressing issue of them all.
“Hey Zander. Can I ask you something?” I spoke in whines.
He looked at me where he sat with a quizzical look. He leaned back and motioned for me to continue with a wave of his large paw, and a nod of his head.
“What’s this doing out here?” I asked, motioning to the wheel with my right paw.
I was now subtly aware that I was still right-handed, or pawed, in this case.
Zander looked back at his setup and grinned. “Ah, Hushed wants to know why sharpen wheel out here? It’s to keep animals away, and so other diamond dogs can wander to us. Business is hard when homes hidden and underground.” Zander explained.
“Oh, ok. That makes sense…” I paused awkwardly.
I wanted to talk to him more, but I also wanted to continue on my journey to the north and to the pony towns. If I was to just leave without a goodbye, then it can be considered disrespectful. If I say goodbye too soon, he’ll think I don’t really care about his pack. There was so much that could go wrong with a simple goodbye, in my eyes. I was then aware of Zander’s conflicted look. He looked like he wanted to tell me something, but was hesitant to start talking.
“I’ll stay until you’re ready to tell me.” I stated to him, concerning his look.
He looked at me with a bit of surprise, before giving me an affectionate smile.
“Wise elder, you are. Worthy of the title of pack of one. Not many diamond dogs see things like you do. But that not important…” he looked away for a moment, before he turned back to me. “Long ago, Powell discovered a howl… no, he invented one. A howl of friendship normal dogs would… umm…” he trailed off searching for a missing word.
“Belittle?” I offered.
“Yes! That word! They don’t respect the howl of friendship, because it not important. Tradition is important to diamond dog. But my diamond dog pack think something else. We value friendship, and you call me friend.” he explained, pointing a claw to himself. “Which is why… I…” he stammered a bit.
Something clicked in my mind as he said that. “You want to teach me the howl of friendship?” I asked with a little surprise. I knew very well that personalized howls for packs not only were sacred for the ones in the pack, but there was an unwritten law that non-pack members aren’t allowed to learn them.
“Yes, friend Hushed. This howl is a peaceful one. Will help you calm ponies when approaching towns.”
“But Zander, I’m not part of your pack. How can I know I’ll be allowed to visit you and your bothers after I learn something sacred to you?” I asked, worried for his safety.
“We not normal diamond dog. We believe you are friend and you believe we are friend. Howl of friendship is excusable. If not, then I take fall. Father may expect me to do this. He my father, he know me well.” Zander explained.
“I just want to know… what’s the worst a pack has done to someone who betrays tradition?” I asked, waiting for a horrible answer.
“Banishment from pack, and from howl. If caught howling pack howl, banished dog is hurt. But no worry, friend Hushed. My pack forgiving and family, diamond dog family never hurt each other, and always chose brother over alpha. Is natural, and forgivable. Brothers will forgive me, promise.” he motioned a cross with his paws over his chest.
I found that strange, considering the cross was a religious symbol from my world and not his. I may actually have weird dreams about this fact later on.
“I’m more worried about what your punishment would be.” I noted, with a whimper appearing in my voice.
Zander heard it and his ears perked up. He smiled widely at me in a very creepy way. I considered it normal since he’s a dog that happens to have huge muscles, sharp claws, and the ability to burrow large holes with little effort-or so I assume, since I’ve yet to see this. Suddenly, I became a little self-conscious when those facts that were just placed in front of me.
“No, brother wolf. I must teach you, you friend of diamond dog pack, and pack needs to know if friend from distance.”
“If it has even the slightest chance of doing you ANY harm, I’m not going to do it!” I replied more forcefully, which came out as a mean growl.
Zander seemed slightly put down by this but he shook his head. He looked back at me with a knowing smile.
“Brother Hushed. Powell is old, I am young. I eldest of sons, and I smartest. I will one day be pack leader, and my brothers will accept me as wise leader. Father very wise. But experience is best teacher, and I learn faster than brothers. If you banished for knowing howl. Then I’ll un-banish you when I pack leader.” he offered.
“How do you know your brothers won’t chose someone else to be pack leader, instead of you?” I asked warily.
“Because no one else wants to!” Zander announced happily while throwing his paw into the air for dramatic effect. “Brothers like being followers. Pack leader has lots of responsibility. Too much for them! They know I make good decisions. They forgive me, if find out. I know my brothers very well. They’re family.” he responded, sure of himself in his answer to my question.
I wanted to complain. I wanted to tell him no. But there didn’t seem to be a hole in his logic. All my reasons to deny him were relying heavily on tradition and Powell’s word, and I can’t see Powell doing anything harmful to Zander.
I sighed in defeat. Though the sigh came out of my nose instead of my mouth. At first, I thought it was strange, but then I remembered that dogs and wolves usually breathe through their noses when they’re not panting.
“…Ok I’ll learn the howl. I relented.
“Good, good. Now repeat after me.”
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The forest was tranquil in the morning light. There were long shadows of the now risen sun. The trees kept me from actually seeing the sun on the horizon, but I didn’t need to see the sun. I was going off of memory to find that river I remembered a while back. I recollected the direction, and that was the best I could do at first. After a while I found a game trail that happened to also lead the same direction. Knowing that saving energy is vital for survival, I took it.
The ground was littered with leaves, sticks, and a few fallen trees. The dirt below my paws was visible in the early morning light, as a dark muddy color. The world around me was covered in a shadowy grey, as I walked along the trail. I began to notice more of the surrounding trees that all had thin trunks, and rose high and spread their leaves wide.
I reminded myself of what I know about trees and their growth being in relation to how much sunlight they get. Some trees are short and stubby, when there aren’t any others nearby. But trees in a forest are tall and thin, because they compete for sunlight. It’s what makes large forests have tall trees.
I moved my head downward and looked back at the ground again. I again noticed how silent my paws were, as they stepped on the mulch like ground. There were occasional bushes around me that I passed by, but most of the forest was trees and a bit of grass. The trail seemed to have some sort of no-go zone for any plant life. An occasional mushroom colony would disobey this by encroaching on the path. I stepped around that.
I began to hear the soft trickling sound of water in front of me. I picked my pace up eagerly to get the refreshing liquid I desperately desired. I followed the game trail up a hill and looked down the slope in front of me. There was a seemingly sudden increase in the plant life, as the slope went down into a creek ,that ended in a short waterfall and into a small clear lake. I did my best to smile.
I pranced down the hill swiftly, and I had to fight my way through tall grass, until I got to the water’s edge. I quickly scanned for anything in the water, so I don’t become victim to any crocodiles, alligators, and small animals with pinchers. Those aren’t fun to mess around with. I concluded that the clear water yielded no dangerous creatures, that could potentially give me a bad day. I started to lap up water with my tongue from the lake. The sun peeked up over the treetops of the lily pad filled lake.
I drank as much as I could stomach, and lifted my head away from the water. I stared at the water for a few more moments as the water settled to see my new complexion. I looked at my features and was surprised to find blue eyes staring back at me. I exposed my teeth and saw yellowing canines and what I assumed was a strong jaw. I closed my mouth and looked at my coat.
My coat was black and for some reason, shiny in the sunlight. It waved like grass, when the soft wind brushed against it. It was a beautiful coat that seemed to blend in with the shadows around me. I began to feel more like a ghost, than a wolf. Then I looked at the curious creature that stared back at me through the water.
The wolf that I see in the reflection had its head tilted to the side in confusion. Its eyes were filled with majestic beauty and curiosity that spoke softly to the bodiless spirit I’ve become. I was drawn by its gaze, as if I would fall forward and into a blue void. A place where the night sky can be seen through a membrane of light blue. I saw the wolf’s coat almost shimmer in the morning light. I began to be mesmerized by the deadly but beautiful creature in front of me.
I began to wonder what it would be like to become such a beautiful majestic creature. To have the power mesmerize any animal with my gaze. To be able to simply step back into the shadows, and become part of nature. To simply be an animal, in a circle of life that I had no understanding of; especially in such a strange world where the wolf lives now.
Its long muscular legs looked like they could propel the creature across open fields with staggering speeds. Its long black tail swayed back and forth in a neutral and content fashion. Its ears remained motionless and faced forward towards me, listening to my heartbeat as it pounded in my ear.
A small ripple on the surface of the water brings my mind back to reality. I lift my head, and look around the lake with lily pads on the far shore. I let my thoughts sink in and I realized something I wasn’t fully aware of, until recently.
I’m a wolf.
I knew I was a wolf after I woke up in this strange world. But after zoning out about the creature I’ve become, I never really gave it enough thought. Was I even human anymore? Is it possible that I was ever human to begin with? Who or what am I? What got me here anyway?
I became terribly aware of everything I’ve done in the past ten days. Everything I did was in the name of survival, and getting used to my situation. I never really found time to think about it, not even when I laid down to sleep. Everything felt too natural to be a dream, nor could it be a hallucination. The whole time I was here, I acted like a wolf. I became what I thought I was, and I never gave it a second thought.
Who am I?
I began to think more about who I was. I began to remember my education, my family, my friends, my job, my car. I remembered where I lived, where I worked, and where I picked up food. It was now all just a vivid memory of what I believed was my old life. I’m not acting like myself anymore. My decisions to kill something seemed so natural to me now. When I was a hunter, it was to find bigger game and a better challenge. Now, I hunt with a sadistic pleasure. Every time I kill something that I know can talk to me in some way, I get excited and entertained when I run after the terrified creatures that flee for their lives.
How much of myself did I lose?
I’m not human when I hunt. But when I talked to those diamond dogs, I felt normal again; human again. As if there was something natural and normal about them, that I’ve never felt with the other animals. Something about them made me trust them. I wanted to be part of their pack, but I also wanted to travel. Something was wrong with me, and I knew it.
What made me a hunter in the first place?
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My family home was a simple single story home. I was ten when we got a horrible rat infestation in the attic. My brother and I were in the living room playing Medal of Honor on the Playstation 2. Split screen was fun for us. My brother would always run up to enemies and shoot them, while I always stayed in cover. He was always dying first. I remember one day we were playing the last mission on a Japanese carrier, when my mom walked in.
She knocked on the door as she entered the room. “Hey, pause the game; daddy wants you to help him set up traps.” my mother stated in an uninterested tone.
“Ok.” my brother responded and he paused the game.
I was upset that we had to pause the game, but I wondered what dad needed us for. We stood up and followed mom through the house. My brother tried to give her bunny ears, and I shook my head while smiling. I was taller than my brother. My hair was more frizzy than his. His straight hair went down past his ears, which meant he needed a haircut soon. Mine was also getting pretty long, but rather than having hair that droops like his, mine sticks up a bit to make what my brother called a ‘mop head’. I tried to give him a nickname, but no matter what I used, it never stuck.
Mom led us through the kitchen and out to the garage. Dad was at his tool table in the back of the garage putting cages and homemade mouse traps together. Mom left us while we went over to dad. He noticed we were behind him when he heard the door slam closed behind him, and he turned around. He gave us a tired smile and some instructions.
“Look for places rats would hide, and place these near them.” he instructed us, handing us several set mouse traps. “Whoever gets the most rats, gets to pick out whatever they want next time we go to the groceries.” he finished with a grin.
My brother and I looked at each other and grinned. We always had to go with our parents to the store to buy food, but we never got to pick anything out, that we thought we’d like. It was because we would always pick out candy. So to us, dad actually said, ‘winner gets candy’.
It was on…
*THE NEXT DAY*
I couldn’t believe it. I was winning! I got the most rats by catching three, while my brother got only two. My dad couldn’t catch a thing and we had to reset the traps to get the remaining rats. They were still there at the end of the day, but regardless, I was winning, and I got to choose candy if I kept it up.
*THE NEXT DAY*
We finally got all the rats. It wasn’t all that hard after we decided that the weekend isn’t going to go on with setting up trap after trap. We decided to use a broom and go up to the roof, where we’ll flush out the rats from the hole in the chimney. We used a smoke bomb and threw it into the small hole. We waited for something to come out and only three actually did. When they ran out we either swept them off the roof, or led them into the traps we put up.
When we were done, I had five rats while my brother still had only two, and my dad had three. That day I found a nickname that fit me for long enough to hold bragging rights.
“Rat-Killer Kyle.”
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I smiled at the memory. Kyle was my name, and I loved catching things my brother couldn’t. My face muscles did what they could to make the smile appear on my face, but I smiled nonetheless. That’s when I found hunting animals was interesting. Just having bragging rights over my brother was enough for me. But I’d never let my brother down. I’m deathly loyal when it comes to my family and friends.
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My brother was hanging out with some of the nerdy kids. He doesn’t usually do that, but he saw they had smuggled in Gameboy Advances to school, with Pokémon games to go with them. I liked the TV show, but I was never into turn-based strategy games. My brother always loved both the show and the games, while I remained loyal to Medal of Honor and Battlefield 1942.
I was playing by the swing-set during recess while my brother was a few meters away from me, with the nerdy kids. He was giving advice on what they should do during their battle. They were on the other side of the spiraling slide, where the teacher couldn’t see them.
“Whoa, Tyler’s hanging with the Pokeclub!” sang an obnoxious voice that both me and my brother hated.
I looked over by my brother and I saw none other than Dustin and his dumb buddies. Dustin is the wannabe bully, who tries to make fun of kids, just to be the bully. Later on when I entered my teens, my brother and I joked that he must have got off on it. But I know for certain that Dustin has, at times, successfully made a few kids cry, and I hated it when I saw my friends being pushed around by him.
If anything, Dustin is the one that should be bullied. He’s so socially awkward that the dumb and downright silly things he says are actually funny at times. It’s why some kids still hang with him.
I was still on the swing, but the moment I was at the apex of a forward swing, I jumped out of the seat. I landed on the mulch ground and speed-walked over to my brother.
“Hey, they had Pokémon!” my brother defended.
“So, you joined the farty-pants club? Cool stuff.” Dustin mused. To be honest, he wasn’t really all that funny that day.
“Hey!” I shouted as I jogged over to them and shot him a mean look. “Don’t mess with my brother, Dustin.”
“Whoa, reinforcements? We surrender!” Dustin joked with his two lackeys behind him, while raising his arms in the air in surrender.
“Not funny, Dustin.” I deadpanned, even though his buddies behind him were smiling for the hell of it. “Don’t mess with my brother. I don’t care if you pick on any other kid, just not my brother.”
“And what if I don’t? You goin’ to call the police?” he joked for the last time that day.
I responded with punching him in the face.
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Yeah, I wasn’t going to let him mess with my brother. I fiercely protect the ones I care about. But I’m closer to a pacifist when I’m not defending someone. I almost got in a fight because some jerk was having a really bad day, and pushed me aside in the halls. You’d think that I’d run up to him and punch him after that. But I did think about doing just that. Actually, scratch that, I REALLY wanted to do that after he did.
But, I didn’t because it wasn’t worth it. I didn’t drop anything because I had a backpack on, and I didn’t even know him.
But now I’m in a place I don’t know about. A place so foreign to me, that I had to shut down what made me, me, just to try to survive. But the question still hasn’t been answered. Who have I become, after I repressed what made me human?
I became aware of the lake around me. I looked at the grassy ground and then to the clear water. Tall grass surrounded most of the shore, other than the one I was at right now. The grass was unusually short, but it still looked untrimmed and wild. The lily pads were outlining the water closest to the shores. There were a total of three near me. I began to notice the significant lack of life near the lake, and I began to become paranoid.
I scanned the area around me, and after a few minutes of cautiousness, I relaxed. I assumed something was around here at some point, and animals stopped coming here because of it.
I returned to the important matter of remembering EXACTLY who I was, and who I am now. The only way I could do that is remind myself of my humanity. According to Powell, ponies are much more civilized than the cave-dwelling diamond dogs. Even though dogs are closely related to me, I’d likely lose what little of myself was left and embrace everything that’s happened to me. I’d accept that I was a wolf and become that at heart.
But, is that what I want?
No, I know what I must do. I need to go to Ponyville. Not just to be able to see the marble castle, but also figure out where I belong. If my body changed, and my impulses followed suit, then I need to figure out what they are, and get them under control. Ponies may be what can link me to being human. But I’m in a different body now. Accepting what I am, is a necessary step to figuring out who I’ve become.
And right now I’m a wolf…
I began to feel a familiar sensation in my stomach. “I guess I’m hungry too.”
WOW. very deep. good job!
Excellent chapter, I hope to see more in the near future :D
Please tell me that's not a fact about you.
Great chapter! The only thing I'm worried about is if Fluttershy finds out Hush ate Bug Bunny and his pals.
I can't bring myself to care about this chapter. Not care 'for' this chapter, but 'about' it. It's just uninteresting to me. I read the first half, then started skimming through the second half, until I was just reading a few words from each paragraph and at the end all I could think was "That was boring. Go talk to some ponies wolf guy."
2230309
Sadly, it was around the same for me...
This is a very interesting story...
I do belive its "medal of honour" not "METAL of honour"
Besides that... have a mustache my good sir
great chapter! keep up the good work
It's Medal of Honor with a d not a t.
I also like how this is going nice characterization and introspective there.
2230274
Are you kidding? I love Command and Conquer + starcraft + Civilizations V +...lots of other stuff.
Wait those are RTS...other than civs....LOL OK THANX BRAIN.
However I've never gotten into Pokemon games. I love turned based stuff except things like Pokemon. I don't mind the type of gameplay all that much, but it seems a little...well boring and repetative. Paper mario is amazing in my opinion.
2230373
Wow. Just, wow.
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Yep. That's 0/2 for chapters for me now. Two hours on this one, two hours on the last one. A single mistake slips by on each.
I'll admit, the chapter was sort of dull and slow, but that's okay because there can't be anymore distractions! Straight to Ponyville and off to... ugh... I'm not sure what he's actually planning there. Oohhh.... you sly dog.... you didn't clearly explain why he has to go there, but yet make it feel important... that's good writing. Well done!
d22zlbw5ff7yk5.cloudfront.net/images/cm-36243-050bffabb05dbf.gif
Hmm... I read all of it because I found it interesting.
I wouldn't worry too much about Flutters, she would be the one most likely to know about the food chain. Besides, that bear she hangs out with would nom on a bunny, or the grisly remains of a kill, as soon as it would decimate a honeybee's nest for honey. Twilight, the huge nerd that she is, would also know and have to accept Kyle/Hushed Shadow for being a predator and no amount of Friendship Magic is going to change that. She would probably also know what that black fur coat is good for, and that he should be extinct (or close to it)...
I think that fact, being as rare as an alicorn, will keep him from being killed outright like some common Everfree monster wandering into town. Getting captured and locked up "for his and their safety" will most likely happen first (Ponies are just scared, Gryphons want him for a new jacket, being a critically endangered species, ect). If they find out he's intelligent, far more than any wolf should be, that's when it should get interesting. That resistance to magic will prove to be a two-edged sword. Translation spells might not work on him at all. That is, on him, but I wonder if there's a loophole there and Twilight could craft a quick-and-dirty enchantment on a wearable item... a universial translator gem thingy that work on conversations near it. (Could be good for a laugh when it starts translating for every critter around him to confuse/spook the ponies watching Kyle/Hushed Shadow, like Owliscious having more than "Who" to say or Tank being quite the Renaissance speaker and Winona will just say "I love you" and "Squirrel!")
2230475
Thank you. I found this chapter quite dull myself because I was trying to fix plot mistakes I made in chapter 1. Hopefully I won't have to do this again (and I don't think I can) and I can get to the interesting things.
2230499
Everything I write has some sort of meaning to it. If I felt that a paragraph seemed meaningless then I'd remove it. Everything written is important in some way. Either to build a scene or convey a thought process. Maybe even add a bit of humor. I also tend to experiment during every chapter or at least within five or so with some creative word play and complex plot lines.
I garantee you it'll not only improve as time goes on. But you'll be even more hooked.
5k+ chapters make me a happy man. You don't know how huge a breath of fresh air it is in the middle of all these doofuses who think they can slam a thousand words into their keyboard and post it without a second thought.
Also this is probably subjective but I'm not way into the "human backstory" part. It's not written badly, but it feels vaguely self-inserty.
2230505
LOL those are excilent ideas :P
But not what I'll do. I'll have Twilight do her obvious studying of him to make my readers more aware of what he is. (basically restating what we know already) The rest of the events I plan later in the story is considered spoilers and I won't tell you them.
And no, what I plan to do with Twilight right off is so obvious and predictable it's not even close to a spoiler.
Although she plays a part later.
2230579
I'm with ya there, while it's easy to knock out and edit 1k chapters, it doesn't actually accomplish much. I personally find 3k to be about the smallest size for a 'decent' chapter addition, unless it's just a battle, then it can be any size over 1k.
I felt it myself, but it really isn't, at least to my knowledge of Gear here.
2230579
Slightly it is. (the part about the games he played) except the comment on "I hate turn based stuff" that's not me at all.
And I'm glad you say you think it's a self insert thing :D Because it's not and I completely made all that up on the spot. :P
I made this chapter solely to give backstory someone asked for. I thought it was dumb at first, but reaching Ponyville this chapter would be just cliche and kinda stupid. Besides I personally really liked the scene where he looks into the pond at his relfection and zones out. My editor even commented on it while we were on skype going over it.
But expect this back story to play a part in the story. It'll give a sense of personal involvment in what I have planned.
Not a bad chapter at all, can't say I'm too thrilled with the name Hushed Shadow, it seems a little too..........I don't know how to put this delicately...........childish. It might just be me but I've read too many stories where the character's name is just two cool words joined together, personally I would have liked just simply Hush, would have made for plenty of good puns at times. I look forward to this, keep it up.
Interesting story so far this could become very interesting
Wait there's a town in Germany called 'to eat'(Essen for those who don't speak German)? Been there a few times but I've never heard of it. Is it in Saarland or one of the more obscure states?
I eagerly await your next chapter. And yeah, chapters like these may be a bit boring to write, but as you said, 'it's necessary.'
I know I'll be hooked on this story that's why I already have it email on updates. I look foreword to them , keep up the good work. (Reply function not working on my phone right now )
Nicely done, Hope to see more of this story soon, keep goin and stay golden^^
2230906
I myself am not sure. The only reason why I actually used that is because I specifically remember it in Civilizations V. I later looked it up but the map wasn't relevent to the country, but actually the state or something. I don't know much about germany other than world war 2 and 1, and a few events after that.
But you're welcome to google it and explain it to me when you find something out!
Love the chapter. only thing i saw was you said america was from a spanish name, but it's actually from an italian name.
2230771
Hushed alone was cool. Shadow is indeed childish. My editor and I actually descused this for about an hour before giving up and keeping the name. I may have it a throw away name later (or just a diamond dog/pack name).
Well it would make sense if it was a pack name...actually I'm going to keep it that way and explain that when I can.
But I do plan on the ponies eventually renaming him because they can't communicate with him. (remember Fluttershy doesn't really speak animal. She had a hard time decifering what Angel said during "Dragonshy") Although you can counter that by saying in "Keep calm and flutter on" she was able to speak fluently with the beever.
Well yes and no. The beaver's physical movements and facial expression suggested angry words and spoke jibberish that suggested those angry words. This warrented Fluttershy's "Such language." reaction.
So trust me...it will go away and I don't need facts to be put so lightly ;P
If you have a problem with something state it like you mean it. Hell I don't even need you to be civil to get interesting information out of you.
Actually this brings up an interesting topic! (Yes I'm going off on a tangent)
Why is it people fear the author? Is it because they don't want to enrage the person that they read in fear they'd report them to a mod? (which they likely won't have a case considering the comment was informative and opinionated) Or their respect for said author makes them want to be on their good side?
I dunno...
Oh and if you're questioning whether or not your comment was insulting here's where I got the idea that you were being careful with your words.
Now that I think about it, calling you out like that was unwarrented
2231186
....what? WHAT? WHAT?
Uhh wow ok that...explodes everything I believed was...everythign....
2230309>>2230338
Sorry about that. For me I actually feel the same :/
But some requests came in to give a bit of backstory and I believed I had to do something. The first half was OK in my book but the part about the flashbacks were a little rushed and not thought out. Nor were they all that interesting. (except for the part where he looks at his reflection and zones out)
Anyway I promise you that the next chapter will be more interesting, and all you need to know is that he's now away from the cave and trying to head north to Canterlot or Ponyville.
2231150 Ah that explains it.
Awesome. Just amazing. Cannot wait until more.
2231200 It's because I dont want to sound like a raging asshole on a site like this
2231214 Relevent : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amerigo_Vespucci
Would that level they were playing perhaps involve a sea plane, gold, and the OSS?
Great update. This looks like it'll turn into a promising story.
thats kind of rude, don't you think?
2231883
Huh?
mmmmm....somewhat...actually yea now that I think about it
2231636
Indeed :D
You comment was friendlier than others. I've already got a few raging comments (ok 1) on the first chapter. It wouldn't matter anyway. I always just pick out the important bits and see if they're worth checking. If it's a rant just to rant then I'll ignore and show examples why they're wrong and stuff.
It's actually REALLY fun
2231904 so is that not a mistake? or just don't feel like fixing it?
Worth it! And this is awesome! I am rather fond of HiE's in particular and it is interesting to see a different take on it now and then.
This is a very interesting take. Keep up the amazing work!
2231214
Lol, yeah. Its etymology is actually a bit weird. It started off with Amerigo, the cartographer who was italian, then went to amerigen, from greek gē meaning earth, then latinized Americus, and because the names of countries are feminine, it became America.
2231236 need help with the reading?
Looking forward to the next Chapter; and I agree with the one poster that Tank should be quite the Renaissance Turtle, I have this image in my head of him having a civilized and intellectual conversation with a Raven Noble (complete with a Monicole and Tophat) over a Shakespearean Play. Another interesting thing to consider is that Owls are surprisingly, not that smart, and if Shadow has any knowledge of Greek Mythology, he'd know that Owls were associated with Athena the Greek Goddess of Knowledge, and note the irony.
I must ask; will he run into a certain lime Green Mare who'd have particular... Interest in his world of origin?
Also; here's a fic that I believe you might be interested in:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/33177/Red-Wings]
great story so far I can't wait to see where you take it
2231150 2230906
Yeah, Essen is really a weird name for a city, but there are weirder ones.
If you haven't googled it, Essen is a city in North-Rhine Westphalia, specifically in the Ruhr area.
Essen was named after the Essen Abbey in 850 A.D..
I don't know why it was named 'food' or 'eating', might be because it was an abbey for women.
Also what do you mean with obscurer than Saarland? There aren't any states more obscure than Saarland.
Yes.
Just...............yes
2232090
Nah I've got this ;P
Amazing shit is about to happen
2231930
Keeping it. I wasn't too fond of this chapter anyway. I just want to continue the adventure