A large roman force has pushed the Gauls of a small Gaulish village to create a new potion that will hopefully be the hope they need to save their home. A small Gaulish man and his friend test the potion, and find it doesn't give the hope they had intended.
(Tags will be added as things happen)
Asterix and My Little Pony crossover.
DISCLAIMER:
Asterix belongs to and is written by René Goscinny and illustrated by Albert Uderzo (Until 1977 when Goscinny died and Uderzo took over writing)
My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro and Lauren Faust
A new cover-art would be appreciated.
Chapters (3)
Wait. Astérix? The French children's cartoon character?
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French? Oh, so it is. Yea, pretty much.
2171106 So, he's gonna be all like, "Bonjour! Je m'appelle Astérix!" and the ponies'll be all like, "lolwut"?
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Translated to English version
That would be pretty damn funny though.
Just going to mention something. I like the story, but there's an annoying thing.
You put Gauls as Gaul's. That's improper punctuation. Sorry, just thought I'd mention it. Still a well-written story, anyways.
2171187 Except, like I just said, Astérix is French.
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Yea, I had a small debate with myself over that. I guess I started doing it like that because at first word said it was wrong, so I put the ' there to correct it but it still said it was wrong so I added it to dictionary like that, and I guess it stuck. I'll be sure to not do it next chapter... if I remember.
Should be: Asterix and the Equestrian Legions
Omg! Asterix crossover!
I am French and, before reading, I approve of this.
This is the best crossover ever.
Now waiting to see how long before Obélix tries to eat somepony. xD
Read it. There's a few typos (life instead of fly, for example) but it's still extremely interesting to read - especially if that means we will have a Ponies VS Romans brawl at some point xD
(I NEED to see Fluttershy under the potion's effect. That can be nothing short of glorious.)
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Oh so you're a Spy? its nice to meet you
I'm a Sniper if you must know...
I didn't expect to see this crossover... I am curious to see how it will go from there.
Hmm... interesting crossover.
Btw, have you ever thought about the druid's name? It drives me nuts how he's been called Getafix, Panoramix and Vitamix. Those stupid cartoons, always messing up the name.
You have gotten my interest, so much of it. I really look forward to more of this!
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Sentry, goin' up!
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Well let me just grab my Eternal Reward and Cloak'n Dagger and Ill watch ur back.
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Shouldn't it be Gaulois instead of Gauls? My french is rusty, but even in english the proper referent for a resident of Quebec is Quebecois. I'm not sure if there's a separate plural, or if its singular and plural.
Of course, being an Asterix story, its just not the same if its not in french...
I'm gonna read this. Even though I know absolutely nothing about Asterix.
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I knew not many people would know what it is, so I tried making it as descriptive as possible.
2171509 You have some pretty awesome ideas! Wonder if the author would take them into notice lol!
Let's see how long it takes for Obelix to say: These ponies are crazy!
2188255 Thank you kindly
Imagine for a second what would happen if they went to Appleloosa..."Buffaloes are the same as boars, right?"
(And actually I think it would be funnier if he did each Pony Tribe separately - "These Pegasuses/Unicorns/Earth Ponies/Alicorns are crazy!")
(Although, I wonder how they'll react to Celestia and Luna...After all, they can almost literally bring the sky down on their heads!)
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Bloody psychic people, always reading my mind...
2188636 Well, there's a reason I'm called RaptorJesus^^
And as they say, strange minds think alike ;)
2188616 Hahahahahahaahahah! BOO YAAAAH!
Heh! That was kinda funny!
However I could not notice that you must insert a couple of things:
Regarding the tags - leave the "other" tag since its the one representing our gauls, but include a "mane 6" and a "cutie mark crusaders" tag since it seems that they might take a prominent role in the fic. Seems like Twilight is still a unicorn in this story so there's no need for a "Twilicorn" tag.
There were some mistakes regarding the tenses and some typos and 's'es missing but I'll post another comment later to point these out!
Other than that, the story is still quite enjoyable and easy to read
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...shit... I forgot about those...
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There! All fixed up! Hang on... you can see Twilicorn tag? I never did that...
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Where are my manners? Thank you for reading and enjoying my story. Also big thanks for pointing out those mistakes. Oh, and sorry about all these comments. I'm bored.
I bet that Twilight is now going to call Celestia which in turn she will send her guard that kind of looks like romans and I think you know were I'm going with this. And it appears that they are immune to magic, good show.
Is the last part meant to be in all bold?
Here are the most notable mistakes:
while Obelix had no problems (past tense)
rewrite: This resulted in Obelix picking up his friend and perching him on his shoulders. (no offense but the joke isn't a very good one)
edit: Dogmatix just gave a snort and hid on the inside of Obelix's flabby armpit to get dry again (that's how I imagined it, and it sounded funny and cute
plus is makes more sense)
heroes; plural
one more "heroes" plural
Obelix placed down his small dog friend,
Asterix quickly helped and before long they had a roaring fire of warmth.
Asterix chuckled to himself and curled up in front of the fire. Obelix should be fine by himself, and he needed some time to think. (two separate sentences)
He didn’t notice a small black cloud, invisible against the mass of vapor behind it... (avoiding some repetition of words)
Her other friend, the one in front of her, held a hoof to her chin in thought.
Also, with the bigger of them gone off it would be safer to approach the smaller one, yet that might anger the former if it was the mother of father. (more repetition)
“It’s not nice to leave it killed without eating it, so I guess Asterix could make a nice stew out of it.”
He looked around the area he found himself in; trees, vines, rocks and pebbles littered the ground.
He picked up and rock at random and tossed it at the cloud
“Look, I know you’re up there. I don’t want any trouble, just some help.” (no to)
Her friend either ignored her or didn’t notice, too intrigued with her new knowledge to care. (comma)
And with that she sped away, leaving the cloud without her presence, giving it the chance to break apart. (a second comma)
These were deffinitely not from around Gaul. (defiantly sounds confusing)
edit: Just when he was about to ask where Obelix found these, his friend turned to the sack he had in his other hand.
edit: Hmm... they look like they belong to someone, judging by that bow one of them is wearing.
I think I met a few people while you were gone (tense)
“Well, how about just one for poor little Dogmatix?” (no comma)
They had to help build a palace and help with a bet against Caesar when he started to cheat.
(lose "the foals")
The three foals nodded slowly from the floor.
(also, I really don't think the last part in bold is necessary either)
2206530 Boom big comment lol!
2206530
Wow.
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Last part in bold? Oh. Didn't put the [/*b] in... oops. Well thanks for that! I really need to improve.
2206942 Ts not so bad!
You just need to reread and edit each of your chapters before posting it! Those mistakes are pretty small and forgivable considering the garbage I've come across while reading other fics
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I'd hate to have your job then.
2207342 Heh, its not really much of a job. Just a hobby! I read fics and if the writing sucks, it sucks out all of the fun in reading it even if the storyline has promise.
An author needs to have skills in writing, grammar, descriptiveness of atmosphere, characters, emotions; the characters have to be interesting and the plot line captivating. I say you got all of the basics down! I say you're in the "good" author section in my book. From there on, there are writers who are going up levels! So you're on the right road pal! It takes practice and enthusiasm!
Asterix and Obelix were one of my favorite cartoons when i was a child, i saw a lot of comics and films of them and even now when, with 18 years i still remembering them, thanks for making a story with them
Also there is two things that i want to say:
In the "These were defiantly not from around Gaul" part i think that the correct form is "These were defiantly not from around Gallia" that is how romans named what now is France.
And the second one is about Obelix's dog, you call him "Dogmatix" but his real name wasn't "Idefix"?
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English translated version is what I'm going off, so all that stuff from the original will probably be different.
I don't get it. Where's the magic potion that gives them super strength?
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The army was to big so they were trying something new. It had the wrong effect.
2208595 Technically, both names are accurate. Idéfix is the original (read: French) name, Dogmatix is the English one.
MY CHILDHOOD!! When I was living in France.
i found movie of asterix on youtube is good did not see but i like it wonder if you wirte more chapter?
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On the massive list of things to do. Schools exams take the top right now, sorry.
Those ponies are crazy!
Love the idea. What a way of linking my childhood to the Ponydom.
i watch asterix movie in youtube and vemo or something but anyway it nov are you wirting new chapter soon?
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After exams?
i'm a huge fan of the adventures of asterxix and obelix. saying thi i will not tolerate to change the so beloved names of the character the name of the dog is ideafix, and abraracurcix is the chief of the village and by last the druid is called panoramix. but regadls of this i like it