A young filly appears in Applejack's life. It wouldn't matter that much if that young filly didn't pretend to be Applejack's daughter. Applejack tries to deal with her own emotions while facing that young filly, when Twilight tries to figure out who the filly is and where her real parents are.
But some other ponies begin to be implicated in a story that is, in fact, way simpler that it could seem at first sight.
Just a thought that crossed everypony's and everybody's mind. A story about what we all want.
And how hard it is to get it.
Chapters (1)
"A young filly appears in Applejack's life. t wouldn't matter that much if that young filly didn't pretend to be Applejack's daughter."
You're missing an "I" at the start of your second scentence.
I no judge but you made lots of errors
Still good though!
that was ... awesome i feel for dashie
meybe some day she will have her own lil filly. you should wright a scootaloo dash fic along the lines of scoots being adopted.
1836912
Corrected. As well as the "to be implicated it a story"... Next time, I wait one more day before posting (it was 01h00 AM here).
1837830
Would it be possible to know some of them? Word told me a lot of sentences were "strange" but offered no correction, and I saw no way to "correct" them as they felt quite right.
But I really want to improve. I need a way to supress thoses errors. (but I can't really ask my friends to correct my stories, as one I probably know english better than they do and second, I'm somewhat of a closet brony...)
1837904
What I'll say could sound silly, but the story isn't about adoption.
I know, it's twisted. But it's great that you could enjoy it on the first degree. To be honest, I don't await from anybody to read between the lines. What I tried to do is way too risky for me to want that.
As for Scootaloo/Dash, I feel that the authors of the serie have already given us a really good episode about it. I would need a really good idea to try the subject. And I can't see any. I don't like tragedy for tragedy. And I don't have half of half the talent that would be requiered to just write a silly but sweet slice of life about it.
Despite the minor errors... wow, wonderful fic!
1862137
Thanks. (even if I think that the word wonderful is a little (way) too much ^^)
I like it. but I still don't understand what she was.
Can somepony explain it to me? please!!
2808669
I'm not sure I really want to explain... because it's weird. And you might be disappointed.
Well, I can't ignore that.
The whole story came from a simple thought: "Hey, that would be so strange if..." and I had the scene of the market.
I get a lot of ideas like that, silly thoughts that can or cannot be exploited (another thought that I'm still working on is "Hey, that would be so weird if they all woke up and the sun had been stolen").
But I wrote the story because the scene was making sense on another level and the rest came from itself.
Now, this is a subject that I don't master in any way (like a lot of subject I've been writing about), but that I've been, like a lot of people, spending a lot of time thinking about.
The little filly is an incarnation of love. Like Pinkie Pie is supposed to be some sort of spirit of laughter, the little filly was a spirit of love, until she became love itself. Or just the love somepony would have had for Applejack but had incarnated not in that pony's mind, but directly as a pony, or in this case, a filly.
And that's why I didn't want to say it so clearly. It sounds very weird to compare filial love (even if there is no filiation in the story) and love as we define it.
Even if my definition of love is:
"Wanting to be at and stay at someone's side."
Yeah, I've still got a lot to learn and a lot to think about on the subject... And I don't know if the story really makes sense in that way. But that's what I had in mind.
Sorry...
2809047 I'm going to digest the information, thanks by the way!
20 minutes later and google translator:
So, somepony saw her like a mother figure and the spirit show her self? And Rainbow wanted a daughter?
And I thought the kid was the future daugther of both of them
I know, crazy huh!
so... about the wish of Rainbow and she flying to the stars (that was real or a dream?) was another analogy (kind of) to what?
Thanks again!
2809108
Going to be late to work there... Oh well.
It would be more like somepony who should have been in love with Applejack, but the love incarnated into a filly, because it's quite innocent and young and naive (like love is) and couldn't then say "I'm in love with you, let's get married". The filly wanted to be with Applejack because it was what was making her happy and was giving her life a sense. And Rainbow Dash wanted to be with the filly because it was what was making her happy and was giving her life a sense (or just more sense, or was just making her happy...).
The appearance of the spirit is an accident. It should have appeared in somepony's mind but hasn't. In a magical world, these things happen. I guess...
Reality is, I wanted to write a love story and wasn't (still am not) able to do shipping and actually don't like the idea of mixing sex and ponies (even if I quite enjoy the humor of "ask molestia" tumblr and such, because its goal is humor). So I talked about love with a big metaphor.
That would be explanation B. I like that interpretation actually, but it wouldn't explain why she disappeared after a while.
That was no analogy, just a slight exageration to say: "Moonlight will be in her memory forevere, it makes her happy and she is looking forward to the challenges she will face in life."
To be honest, it was more of a way to tell myself "Stop crying over nothing and move on! Life goes on." I actually wish the memories would be a little better. Yes, I tend to mix personal stuff in my stories. A lot.
Good luck, I still haven't figured out all the possible consequences of that paradigm.
You're welcome. Sorry the explanation is that simple.
Now... time to go to work.
2809176
Actually being that simple made me undestand better.
Ok, I get it all. Have a nace day/night over there!
Thanks again!
2809221
Thanks.
2809047 I was going to say
but then you explained it, so never mind. Apple Bloom is two words. Sweet Apple Acres is three words. In the future to you think you could not make Applejack such a bitch? It almost ruined the story for me. Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
5316938
I'm sorry, but I don't think I could promise that. If I don't allow ponies to behave in an imperfect way in my stories, then those stories lose pretty much all interest in my eyes. They live in a "perfect" world and try to act nice and help each other, but for the story to have some relevance, they must obey the rules of the human psychology. At least I think so (could be wrong).
In this case, I thought that the discussion between Twilight and Applejack (showing her feeling of guilt) and the fact she accepted to try to accept the filly would help make her not look too bad (which obviously failed). But still, Rainbow Dash can't really "shine" as the good pony if she wasn't contrasting with Applejack's behavior. And the filly's despair wouldn't be the same if she wasn't being rejected.
I just don't know how I could have make the story work without Applejack acting like a bitch. Is it even possible?
I won't try submitting any more stories to Equestria Daily. Nothing against them, but I won't lose my time and their time (edit: yeah, kinda changed my mind on that...):
Well no. I got very little help when it comes to correcting the bajillion english mistakes that I make while writing. So:
Will never be given my circumstances.