Rarity, Am I Evil?
As Rarity gently levitated the pan off of the burner, humming to herself as she cooked a simple meal for her and her sister, she smiled warmly as she saw Sweetie Belle trotting down the path from the window. She was on her way home from school, but Rarity had noticed something different about her recently - she seemed distant, not herself, and dispondant this morning. So, since she had some free time today, she had decided to cook Sweetie's favorite meal to surprise her when she got home from school.
The house smelled exquisite - one of the benefits of this dish was how good it made the house smell. It had always worked - no matter how sad Sweetie Belle had been, walking into the house to smell it had always, always cheered her up.
So when Sweetie opened the door and kept her grim expression, not reacting at all as she walked to the table to sit down, it did alarm her.
"Hey, Rarity," she croaked, still sounding sad. Rarity let out a deep sigh as she grabbed a plate, trying to wonder what this might be about. Did some colt break her heart?
"Hello, Sweetie Belle. Did you have a good day at school?" she asked, placing a plate in front of her sister, trying to probe gently.
"Yeah, it was fine," Sweetie sighed, "I got a perfect score on my test. Miss Cheerilee was really proud of me."
Okay, not a problem with school, Rarity thought.
"And how are you and your friends? Some mean colt didn't hurt your feelings, did he?" Rarity asked, a bit more direct.
"Rarity, why are you asking so many questions?" Sweetie Belle asked bluntly, taking Rarity back a bit.
"Sweetie Belle..." she spoke softly, putting a hoof under her sister's chin, "Something is bothering you. I can tell, you know."
"Mmmm..." Sweetie mumbled, looking off to the side.
"You can tell me!" Rarity urged, feeling her sister's pain. As a big sister, all she wanted to do was help - no matter what.
"Please, just tell me what's bothering you, and we can work through it together!"
"Rarity, am I evil?" Sweetie asked suddenly, looking her sister in the eye.
The question took Rarity back. She blinked, wide eyed at her sister, lowering her hoof. She was able to compose herself after shaking her head slightly.
"G....Goodness, no, Sweetie Belle! Whyever would you think such a think of yourself?" she gasped. Sweetie Belle let out a deep sigh.
"I...If I tell you, you're just going to hate me," Sweetie spoke earnestly.
"Sweetie Belle!" Rarity exclaimed, almost hurt by the comment, "Sweetheart, I couldn't possibly hate you! No matter what!"
She again raised her hoof, sternly pushing Sweetie's face to look her in the eyes.
"No. Matter. What."
Sweetie Belle sniffed, as if she were about to cry. Rarity, almost panicking now, darted her eyes as her mind raced, trying to figure out what would cause her dear sister to say something like this.
"I...I've been having dreams, Rarity," Sweetie Belle started to admit.
"Okay, okay," Rarity spoke kindly, urging her to continue.
"D...Dreams about...well...."
Rarity blinked, patiently waiting for her to continue.
"H...Hurting ponies," she spoke softly.
Rarity couldn't lie to herself - her reaction was visible, however subtle, as she winced at the words. Sweetie Belle noticed, and began to cry outright, turning away from her sister in shame.
"S..,Sweetie Belle! Please don't cry!" Rarity urged, trying desperately to compose herself.
"Y...You hate me!" Sweetie whined, starting to sob, "I saw it in your face! You hate me! I'm a freak!"
"Sweetie Belle, I do not hate you!" Rarity spoke desperately, thinking on the edge of her flank. She didn't really know where this conversation was going at this point, but she had to convince Sweetie Belle that she didn't hate her - that was the only thing she was sure of right now.
"T...There's something wrong with me!" Sweetie sobbed, "C...C...'cause, when I dream about this stuff, I feel all...tingly, and...and..."
"Please calm down!" Rarity urged, trying to rub a hoof down Sweetie's back, "Please, just relax, okay? Sweetie Belle, I promise you, no matter what, I want to hear what you have to say! I'm your sister! No matter what, I'm here to help you, okay?"
"B...But..." Sweetie Belle sniffed, "What i...if I end up hurting somepony? W...What if I'm no better than Cozy Glow? Or Sombra?"
"The fact that you are worried about that in the first place means you are nothing like them," Rarity reassured her, now stroking her mane slowly.
"I....I don't want to hurt my friends..." Sweetie repeated.
"And you won't!" Rarity responded.
"B...But when I think about hurting them, I...I..."
"But you never would, right?" Rarity clarified. "That's the difference, Sweetie Belle. It's fantasy."
Sweetie Belle still looked to the side in shame.
"All ponies start to have fantasies as they grow up," Rarity began to explain, "It's just a part of maturing. It means you're growing up. You're starting to discover those little things that make you tick, and as long as you know how to distance those things from reality, you're going to be just as beautiful and radiant as you always have been."
"W...Well, I doubt many ponies grow up with these kinds of fantasies..." Sweetie mumbled.
"Sure, but there are several silly ones!" Rarity began to chuckle through tears, "You know, I know a stallion who covers himself in tubs of Jelly!"
Sweetie smiled for the first time since getting home.
"Y....You know, I actually know him too," she replied dryly through her small smile.
"Sweetie Belle, you don't owe anypony an apology for the things that go through your mind," Rarity reassured. "Your friends may or may not understand. It can be our little secret, if you want. But you are not less of a pony for feeling this way. You are still the sweet, kind, thoughtful, generous, compassionate, inspiring sister you have always, always been."
"Thanks, Rarity," Sweetie Belle replied earnestly, her smile now full and true.
"Our actions define who we are," Rarity continued. "What's inside can motivate us, but it doesn't have to - and you are a corageous and brave young pony who has a strong sense of right and wrong. Nopony will ever feel unsafe around you, Sweetie Belle."
Rarity gave her sister a warm hug, feeling her tears drip down onto her shoulders.
"You're the best sister ever," Sweetie Belle spoke weakly.
"I'm just your sister," Rarity corrected, "And this is what sisters do."
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This was a very cute little story. I think it's really important for people to realize that everyone has intrusive thoughts, and sometimes those intrusive thoughts take the form of odd fantasies. Everyone has them, and as long as you have a responsible outlet for them, you don't deserve judgment from anyone.
This is just straight up adorable
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Thank you so much for your kind words!
From more obscure fetishes to far more intense ones like mine, I think people are people. I've been fascinated by my own mind since as early as I could comprehend that my fantasies were far more extreme than that of my friends, but I do think that sexual release is a very human and necessary thing that we don't have very much control of. As long as you can find your own peace with the things that make you happy - keeping it to yourself and not letting it influence your actions - I think people can live a happier, more fulfilled life.
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only thing I would change is having Sweetie Belle fail to explain her dream and only explain how it makes her feel that way the fetish itself it ambiguous and more readers can latch onto that
Rarity and Sweetie Belle are so sweet and adorable together. This story makes that fact amazingly clear as Rarity puts on her Best Sibling ensemble and helps Sweetie remember that she is still a good-hearted bean.
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Thanks! I love leaning into the sisterly vibes with them. AJ/Bloom and RD/Scoots are cute too, but they're my favorite sisterly pair.
Just uh...don't look too hard at my other stories involving them if you want to keep it that way
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Indeed
Why there's a fetish tag, I don't understand it and I read the story. I think "dark" and Slice Of Life" is actually the perfect tag that describes the story, along with drama.
Also I really like this story, way better than most of your other stories
I always quastion myself why you type of Authors always make stories like that, it always has more dislikes than likes, nobody enjoys it except probably some sicko or something.
I'll never get the images out of my head....
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i believe the fetish it's describing is masochist the idea of finding satisfaction in other pain or humiliation usually in the bedroom
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...What? Y'know what, nevermind, I probably don't want to know.
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Im glad you liked my story, but don't let its moral go over your head! Don't make others feel bad for their fetishes! Sadism and Masochism are indeed fetishes - inflicting and receiving pain, respectively, and Sweetie Belle in this story appears to be developing Sadism.
Not everyone is attracted to or feels sexually gratified from the same things. You may not understand why some people get sexual gratification from acts like this, but in turn, others may not understand why you find certain things attractive. The most important thing is to try our best to understand one another, and for our intentions to be pure!
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I don't really know how to reply to this.
I guess I can respect everyone has different fetishes and feel different about things and not everyone likes the same things as others but it's just so difficult to understand.
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I think that was a great response! That's the gist of it. Sometimes it's hard to understand, but the best thing you can do is try to understand a person's intentions.
A bit short and I feel it glossed over Sweetie Belle's thoughts and worries. I get it, actions are what people see and what define you, but they didn't go into detail about her fantasies and how they can be okay. S&M require knowledge and trust between consenting adults. I feel that shouldn't be ignored. I get that Sweetie Belle is young, but once puberty starts you can't let the child you are a guardian of be ignorant. Last thing you want is a pubescent teen to try anything regarding sex with ignorance, trial and error. That's how you end up with hurt feelings, teen pregnancy, or in this case major injuries.
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Very true and responsible. For this story, I wanted to keep things very vague - as to ensure the teen rating - as well as keep the story as relatable as possible for people who may have felt ashamed for their fetishes, but not related to this one in specific.
We can reasonably assume that Rarity would slowly support her sister as she grew into the age where she could actually start exploring these things - right now, her only goal is to make sure she knows she isn't broken.
This was an interesting premise with a delicate subject as you don't want to feed into the fantasy. Rarity did a good job handling it the way that she did.
Well the first would require actually knowing what the hay was wrong with Cozy in the first place, her past is as blank as her motivations, to the point where one of the lead storyboard directors dismissed any questions of her parentage and backstory.
As for the second... well as long as you aren't born as an umbrum and solely exist to antagonize heart-shaped crystals you should be fine, heck in the comics he even gets reformed.
Fire story, i love how understanding rarity is, true sisterly love right here
I saw the 'fetish' tag and had no idea what I was getting into.
Turns out, I was getting into a very interesting little story.
Not a lot of writers can turn serious subjects like this into a good piece of writing, it's something I try to do in my own ongoing story (which is currently in the featured list, yay! 😝)
Mental health and self-discovery are usually confined to "depression and/or anxiety", so to find something as nuanced as a pain fetish being taken seriously and written eloquently, is nothing short of a huge surprise.
Very well done, DeathToPonies, very well done indeed. 👏
This was a nice story wrapped up in a nice package with a bow on top (no joke intended). I admire your work <3
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Thanks for the comment!
These are both very true! I kinda with Sombra got the development he did in the comics in the show - but I also do like having pure-evil, irredeemable villains sometimes. Speaking of "irredeemable villains..."
Cozy is definately one of the weirdest things in the entire show! It is very strange that no backstory is given to this evil filly that is apparently so beyond redemption to the Mane Six that Twilight Sparkle, along with the others, finds it fit to turn her to stone!
(If you're interested, I did write a Cozy Glow fic that attempted to explain this odd situation, but that's not quite related to this comment!)
As for the line itself though, I wrote it as a reference to the Yona episode "She's All Yak", where Yona asks Sandbar to "name two ponies worse than Yona", to which he also lists Cozy Glow and Sombra. I like sprinkling little references to the show into my stories like this - i do it constantly to those who notice - because I like to remind both others and myself that I really do love this show and am ery passionate about even the deep cut references!
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Thanks for your kind words! Rarity is the best big sister :D
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Yeah, that's why I put the disclaimer in the description! I realized the tags - as well as the image - might lead people to beleive this is an incest or otherwise fetishistic story, so I wanted to make it clear that the tag was meant as a discusssion/subject matter, not a type of fic!
That was a nice read. I won't lie, though; I saw the fetish tag and immediately thought this was an incestuous foalcon fic, which is something I don't like to read at all. But I'm glad I read the disclaimer as, without that, I would have just moved on and missed out on something that was actually quite sweet. I like fics where family helps family, with that unbreakable bond, and it's one of many reasons why Rarity and Sweetie Belle tend to be my favorite characters.
Well done, and thank you.
My only wish is that the conversation was a little longer, but other than that I was indeed pleasantly surprised to see such a valuable and scarcely depicted/explored topic brought up with such compassion to begin with. Very nice and wholesome, I always love to see it when love and support prevail!
Think such a think of yourself?
man, ponies sure think alot huh?
All jocks aside, I just found this small mistake fix it or don't
Its okay sweetie, some ponies like being a little hurt!
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....
I... Probably should have checked the tags before reading that...
Definitely went in unprepared, but honestly that added to the twist, had me practically jumping out of my skin.
Why I don't talk about my dreams in real life.
Don't read this if you get easily queasy from reading about death, also don't read this if you're a child right about to go to sleep and you don't want possible nightmares.
With that out of the way, this story makes me think of my own dreams. I like to violently murder my acquaintances who are friendly, and my friends who aren't mean. I like to murder each one in a specific way. Like my one friendly acquaintance, first, she often gets stabbed and is mortally wounded. Then she has to fall off a very high cliff, often into a rushing river below. Then, she's not dead yet, so she tries with her last ounce of strength to crawl under the cliff overhang or out of the water much further downstream, depending on the situation. Also, I forgot to mention that 9.8/10 of the time she gets bitten by a zombie or turned undead through other means before getting stabbed. Also, she gets stabbed by people who she thought she could trust, but these people (who only exist in my mind) will hold her to the ground as they turn her undead through most often a zombie, so that her friends won't know that they threw her off the cliff to hide their true intentions of slowly killing everyone else to steal their stuff[Describing it would take to long] So this acquaintance ends up as a half zombified version of herself, only staying sane because my friend can't die from physical injury and is constantly bleeding, so she can cut off her arm constantly to keep her fed and partially sane, also keeping her from being a complete zombie because she has some sanity left. I also always get stabbed every time, without fail, end up coughing up blood, and then murdering someone. Every single time. Also, I have either repeating dreams or lucid dreams that repeat these types of scenarios, forcing me to watch and not be able to do anything until she's falling.
My mean friends don't deserve a place in my awesome dream cause I don't want to give them a thought.
I like how this describes why I don't tell anyone physically my dreams, the fear that manifests itself by making you think you're evil, or psychopathic. Then it makes you start to look for these things in your life and you think your incredibly messed up, and so does everyone you meet during a high school biology class because you were laughing and smiling during a dissection. People will remember it if you're smiling as you cut of a chunk of skin, if you are going to do that in your school, don't smile during a it. I think I understand what that tag is there for.
Kids, don't smile while desecrating a corpse if you want to have friends.
Its okay sweetie our minds do like to do weird thoughts that make us question if we really are Nice or not
But they are natural and you dont need to fear them
Yeah and there are people out there who are...Really into the idea of what the TRANSFORMers do all the time! Yeah if people like that then its Nothing compared to you
This was a good story. And hey just because you dream of hurting people or ponys in this case doesn't mean your hurting your love ones. Heck you might be like rainbow dash and like to fight multiple enemies at once!
Short, sweet and highlights a worry for some that is easily digestable. No matter how screwed up your likes are, so long as they're fiction and enjoyed vicariously in fantasy then they're just that. Fiction. You're a perverted weirdo with a conscience, not evil.
Username does NOT check out.
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I'm not sure whether you're just trolling or in serious need of professional help ...
not that those are mutually exclusive either
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Oh boy I sure do love turning into some type of vehicle/appliance/weapon and fighting a seemingly endless war, so hot.
Seriously though shapeshifting at will, even if it's only between two or three distinct forms would actually be pretty neat to have access to, not really for the, er... Bits that people are into in my case bout like even just mobility and utility would be hype as fuck.
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Same
Even if it is my thing as well? Its the coolness factor i love
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Indeed!
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Yeah but imagine being able to curl up as a cat on rhe side of a building or something, shit would be mad cozy
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Indeed
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I don't have therapy, all my friends tell me I need it. I'm pretty sure I don't need therapy. I'm not trolling, these are actually my thoughts and dreams, and I will not be seeking help for them.
Thanks for your concern though?
Again I fucking love you as an author. so wholesome please make more stories like this
Nice story. I wish it was longer or that there was plans for more chapters or a sequel
A significantly better story than what I expected.
I am pleasently surprised.
Good job, word-smith.
The fetish tag scared me off of reading for so long. But I’m pleasantly surprised. I would like to read more of Sweetie dealing with these problems, honestly.
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Thanks for the comment! Yeah, I understand the "fetish" tag may be confusing which is why I added the disclaimer in the description. Ultimately, this story did succeed, so I see no reason to change it now, but going back, I may have not used the "fetish" tag. My reasoning was wanting to describe the subject matter of the story, but I think that may have mislead many people into not being able to understand what the story would be likke.
At least a little bit of that is by design. I'm an author who loves surprising my audience - my descriptions usually are as vague as possible. If I can get a reader to say "woah, I didn't expect that to happen!" or "that didn't go how I thought it would!" I feel like I've done my job. But I need to be better at the balance of aiming for that and going too far in the "misdirecction" that people respond overwhelmingly negative - see The Mane Six Fucking Die, an honest attempt at genuine fiction that was mass-downvoted for its rather vulgar title (that itself was confusingly a reference to a story that was NOT an honest attempt at fiction) and overbearing "fetish" warnings.
Aahh yes, hello intrusive thoughts, my old friend. I can relate so much to Sweetie Belle, since I had some nasty intrusive thoughts that made me feel disgusting and evil, to the point that I had to search online how to get rid of them. Seriously, they can really overwhelm you...
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It's a complex and touchy subject. Obviously, given a lot of my stories, I have some of my own.
I think it comes down to how much you let it affect you as a person. As long as you can continue to be a good person, and not let it control you, I think it can be okay.