đ„
I was surprised I could walk so long without the horse legs growing tired. And even though Andrewâs current form looked to be about the same size and weight as me, somehow he was quite light. But pain still surged every few seconds from the flanks of this wretched horse body, and even if the horse wasnât tired, I was. We woke up early for the Con, and I had spent the day before driving. So, in the past 48 hours, Iâve only had about seven hours of sleep.
âThis is where I leave you,â said Midnight. âOr do you need me to hoof-hold you all the way to the motel? Or perhaps the daycare?â
âI think weâll be fine from here,â I answered.
Andrew stepped between us. âDoes this mean I can talk again?â
âNo,â Midnight and I answered in sync. We looked at each other in surprise.
âMrrrhmmp!â said the batpony.
âJinx, you two owe me a soda,â Andrew said quietly.
âThatâs not how that works!â I told him. Please, not right now, Andrew!
âItâs how it could work!â he said in a stupid singsong voice.
Midnight dramatically opened his beautiful wings. His entire body was something like gothic architecture in pony form. Beautiful, dark, mysterious. If he were a character on the show, Iâd love his design, but Iâd hate his tough âoh, Iâm so edgy and coolâ personality. Just get over yourself and smile when people say thank you, dude. Itâs not that hard. But heâs the kind of character Andrew would love and rant about while I was trying to prepare for bed or cook dinner.
âWait, M-M-Midnight!â called Andrew.
The emo pony didnât bother looking back at us, and swished his tail. But he didnât fly away; instead he simply stood there, waiting. The batpony rested limply on his back, glaring at Andrew.
âHow do we get in touch with you? Wh-w-where do you live?â Andrew asked. Why are you stuttering?
âYou donât,â answered Midnight. With a great gust and a flap of his wings, Midnight took to the air and quickly began ascending to the sky.
âHrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm!â screeched the batpony through the gag.
âDarn it, Midnight!â Andrew yelled back. âCome back here, you⊠you⊠you winged horse, you! Iâll wander around the Everfree Forest again! Next time I see you, my tongue will jabber so quickly youâll⊠youâll cower before my words of esteemed excellence! Dang it! Thank you for saving me, you jerk!â He shook a blue hoof in the air at the quickly disappearing black dot into the violet sky.
âWhat the heck?â I practically coughed. âWhy are you acting like that? He saved us, and led us to Ponyville. Why should he give us anything more?â
âBecause heâŠâ Andrew stopped to think. âBecause he reminded me of me. When I was depressed. He told me he didnât have any friends, got angry when I asked about his parents, and even though he acted annoyed, he liked my jokes. Joked back, even. Plus⊠I donât know how it looked when he was fighting with the bats, but, when he was fighting the rattlesnatcher⊠I⊠it was incredible. I donât even know how to describe it. He⊠the monster fr-f-fr-fetting⊠fetting? What even is that? I wasnât even trying to cuss. I was trying to say f-f-fr-fetlocks.â Andrew blinked. âI can say jerk, but not f-fr-f-fetlocks? Fetlocks.â
I smirked at his frustration.
âWhatever!â he continued. âThe rattlesnatcher fr-fr-fetting snapped a whole tree in half! Like it was nothing! And he fought it. Came out of nowhere and took it out! It took me everything to get out of a single vine, and he just cut through all of them while looking like he was just practicing a ballet routine or something!â
âI didnât get to see much of what happened with the batponies. I was really disoriented when he was tying up the one you saw him carrying. And by the time I could actually stand up again,â I âhoofedâ the ground. âI noticed you were unconscious and tried to wake you up. Midnight told me there were others, but they got away.â
âHow did he react to me being unconscious, by the way?â Andrew said with a devious smirk and a risen eyebrow.
âWhy do you want to know? I donât think itâs important.â The teasing goes both ways, Andrew.
âBecause he smiled at one of my jokes! I saw it! He pretended to not care, but he saved me! Tell me, please!â Andrew dropped to the ground and wrapped his forelegs around mine. Her eyesâhis eyes had three sparkles again and his pupils got wide.
âOkay, okay, get off!â I jumped away. âHe didnât react at all. No expression. He just walked over to you and put his hoof on your forehead. After that, he picked you up and put you on my back and said he thought you would be fine.â
Andrew looked thoughtful for a moment and suddenly turned away. Wait, was that aâ
âHowâd you get there, anyway? You came out of the sky, didnât you?â He looked back at me.
It was my turn to look away. Stupid ears, twitching. Stupid tail, swishing. âDiscord.â
âDiscord? What did he want?â I could see Andrew out of my peripheral, his blue head tilting to the side. âAnd was he reformed or evil?â
âI donât know.â Tail still swishing. âHe⊠offered me a chance to go home. And to be a h-h-h-horseâŠâ Silence. Lil-Andrew waited expectantly for me to finish. âYou know what I mean.â
âAnd what did you say?â
Dang, Andrew! Always perceptive. Always the questions. I looked down at the valley, to the tiny little flickering lights growing dimmer in the steadily brightening sky. âI said I wouldnât leave without you. And thenâŠâ
âAnd then he sent you barreling towards me like a comet?â
âYes.â Wait. No.
Silence. My heart throbbed. I shuffled the horse legs into the grass, watching how the grass bent under the movement.
âThank you,â said Andrew. âAlways my Samwise the Brave!â
I chuckled. âAnything, Mr. Frodo.â
How prrrrrrecious.
âMrs. Frodo,â corrected Andrew. âWait, I mean Miss Frodo.â
The horse tail flicked. âI donât want to talk about what Discord made me see. I want to get to Ponyville soon. This has been a very long day. And night.â
Suddenly I was tackled. Andrew was wrapped around my heck.
âAh!â I yelped. âWhat are you doing?!â
âWhat does it look like? Iâm hugging you!â
âW-well, get off! Not when I donât expect it!â His grip became tighter. âSeriously, An-n-Lily, let g-go!â
A moment later, I tripped and found my head pressed into the wet grass with Andrewâs current form atop me. The dew soaked blades smelt sweet. âLilyheart!â
âSorry!â he squeaked while jumping up.
I stood up slowly after him and used one of the hooves to wipe the water from the muzzle. Why canât you be normal? Why canât I stop thinking like this? Holy Jesus⊠why do thoughts like this always come up in my head? I need sleep.
âUh, Robin, what is that?â Andrew was pointing a hoof at my flankâat the flank.
âI was attacked by a bunch of porcupine things. Midnight said they were probably something called puckwudgies.â
Andrew walked around me. A moment later, he made a spluttering cough. And then a loud, cackling laugh. I turned around to find him with a hoof over her mouth, poorly covering a smile.
âIt isnât funny,â I said with a frown.
LilâAndrew burst into a series of giggles and collapsed to the ground, rolling back and forth, her legs flailing about. âYou look like a turkey!â She cackled, slapping her forehoof into the grass. âPuckwudgies? Those little things attacked you?â
I felt myself blush. The horse tail swished back and forth. That hurts, you stupid thing!
Andrew burst into yet another series of giggles.
And before I could help it, a smile began cracking on my face, too.
âYour tail is like a fiber optic Christmas Tree!â
Suddenly, I was laughing, too. I buried my face into my front legs while Lilyheart continued her maniacal tossing about. We laughed like that until the sun crawled up over the neighboring mountains.
âWell, you look like Smurfette!â I shot back between laughs.
âYou look like one of those cheap My Little Horse knock off toys!â
âYou look like moldy bread that grew fur!â
âYou look like a s'more somep-p-pony dropped in the fire!â
âYou look like mold somep-pony sprayed cheese whiz on!â
âHey, you already used that one!â said Lilyheart.
âItâs true, why change it?â
Lilyheart put a hoof to her chest, assuming the pose she made when putting on a character. âI,â she declared, âAm a divine creation, cut from the summer morning sky, and formed from the sunlit dyed clouds!â
I only snorted in response. And then continued in cackling.
âOkay, that was supposed to be funny, but not that funny!â complained Lilyheart.
Control. Get control. Breathe. Just breathe. âYou jâjerk. Calling me a turkey!â I coughed out. âThese hurt, you know? Iâve been putting up with them all night!â
âIâm sorry!â exclaimed Lilyheart with a bright smile. âHere, Iâll get them out!â
âWith what?â
Lilyheart looked at her forelegs with a frown. An idea seemed to hit her. âI got it! Just need to hold still.â
Before I could do anything, she leapt over to me, bit down on a quill, and pulled. Pain shot through my side.
âOw! What are you doing?â
She spat out a green quill. âWhat does it look like?â
âI donât want you to pull them out with your mouth!â
âI had to do more disgusting things when I worked in special ed,â she said, reaching for another.
I leapt away. âI donât want you doing it!â
âWe have to get them out somehow,â she countered.
âYes, but not you! I want a professional to do it. Or Twilight might just use her magic to take them out all at once! Itâs too weird if you do it!â
âFiiiiiinnnne,â she whined. âBut only if you get the soda you owe me!â
âI donât owe you a soda!â
HEEEEEEEEE!!!! The word spreads.
A nice, calm chapter after the whirlwind that happened. I wonder how long that will last.
Lilyheart, I have a way you could turn yourself into a foal and still have it make sense in the story arc.
Lilyheart has been living in ponyville for a while when rainbow dash decides to pull a prank on her by getting her to eat poison joke in her food, see slowly watches himself turn into a one year old foal over the course of the day as *insert main 6 but not rainbow dash here* Lilyheart has to face her worst fear as she has a nightmare about it and then it happens for real. she can still talk because of the poison joke but it sounds like a foal. she still acts like a filly even as her age.
this is how you make it not turn into something stupid. Lilyheart then decides that it doesn't matter if she's a foal and cursed to be one years old, she is going to make twilight turn her back. she then goes on a cozy glow ark but actually cares about life and is just misguided instead of evil. eventually she gets the pony taken care of her to surrender and the princess comes over to reason with her. Lilyheart then finally realizes that being little isn't that bad. so she hugs the pony taking care of her and then twilight if she is taking care of her or not if she's not anyway finds a way to fix the spell the next day. she finally embraces being young again and acts exactly like that way and it changes her forever. the next day they make you fun of her thinking that she isn't going to change back, but she does because she is still her and so she grows up again and the story ark is over until the next slice of life episode.
do you like it?
11884099
That's a bit too involved to just be a suggestion going forward, that's more of an alternate timeline derivative where perhaps a whole new story would be required.
it's not a bad idea tho.
I can't believe I'm the favorite! I guess I win that position by being the only one proofreading, well, besides yourself, but that would be weird to be your own favorite proofreader.
And Robin totally owes Lily a soda.
11883958
Noooooo! Everyone, quarantine me! Iâve been infected!
11883969
The eye of the storm.
11884127
You get the gold, silver, bronze, and participation ribbon.
And thank you! I'll take a Sprite. No, Sunkist. No, Cream! Cream soda! Rooooobbbin!
Thank you for the comments, everyone!
11884099
Thank you for both the comment and suggestion!
Unfortunately, poison joke wouldnât quite have that effect on Lily, because she isnât afraid of being a foal or foallikeness. Thatâs why she didnât get mad at Midnightâs insults. You could say that she is very in touch with her inner child⊠maybe a little too much.
In any case, I can comfortably say the story wonât be going in that direction. That being said, itâs not beyond the realm of possibility a foal Lilyheart, or maybe even a foal Robinwind to make an appearance at some point.
An evil mini-me does sound like fun.