The Night Mare Before Hearth's Warming

Luna goes to Discord for help throwing a modern Hearth's Warming celebration.

Written for Nyronus for Jinglemas 2023.

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SoloBrony

SoloBrony #1 · Dec 30th, 2023 · · ·

They vanished so quickly that Luna’s cup landed on the floor, shattering it. The floor shattered, that is, not the cup. With no floor, all the decorations in his house fell to the ceiling.

Absolutely perfect.

"Hm?" Luna glanced at him in surprise. "No, I don't think so. I've done this before on their request. They wanted cutie marks as mediums, you see, and I didn't want them going off to find a less responsible necromancer. That went fairly well." She turned to the possessed fillies. "Art thou well?" She called.

As far as Noodle Incidents go, this is pretty great.

Nyronus

Nyronus #2 · January 8th · · ·

“Princess!” Discord greeted with just a little more warmth than was necessary. “How'd you know I love the unexpected? Best Hearth’s Warming gift ever! Get in here!”

Hahahahaha!

Luna's voice echoed out. “What do you MEAN we don't threaten people during caroling anymore!? Those swine did not provide us recompense! It flies in the face of the concept of generosity!”

Oh no!

Discord harrumphed. “Oh, so my time is less valuable than hers?”

snrk. That's a pretty good Discord line.

Discord took his helmet off and turned away. “Mall ponies are unholy beings.”

As a former mailman I feel both offended and seen.

Tip your mailman at Christmas. We know where you live.

Discord waved them off. “Relax, everyone! Just everyday mall screaming.”

You know how it is with malls.

Discord snapped his fingers, restoring the fillies to sanity. "Sorry about that! I meant to bring you directly here. The Warp must have been in the way."

What the actual fuck, oh my god!

"Summon the spirits of the actual founders to possess the bodies of these youths and re-enact the events of the founding?" Luna answered. "Yes. It was a difficult spell to learn, but invaluable in the pursuit of knowledge. As a sidenote, Twilight Sparkle is not to learn of this."

What the fuck, oh my god!!!

"It's a shopping mall on Hearth's Warming Eve. If anything, they're overeating."

Goddamnit.

"I think this would be a good time for a scene transition." Discord clapped his hands together and pulled them apart to conjure a long, black bar. Then he threw it down.

Goddamnit. Okay, that was pretty great. Mad respect for anyone who throws in metafictional nonsense when Discord is involved.

To her credit, Celestia didn't even flinch. "Hello, Discord. What did you do?"

Hehehehe.

"Yes, I Suppose There Are Some Forms Of Order Even I Shouldn't Tamper With."

SON OF A BITCH!

Luna spread her wings proudly. "Behold, my surprise! I have fully decorated the Hearth's Warming tree! It should now be of the proper rank to be the most decorated tree in all Equestria!"

YOU-PFAHA-MOTHERF-AHAHAHAHA!

"Well now, that sure was a fantastic party!" Discord said proudly, dusting off his hands. "I sure am glad I got to see all of it."

You... goddamnit...

This story had me sniggering, giggling, snorting, chuckling, and cursing in equal measure. I am sorry I took so long to read it but it was worth it when I finally got to it. It was very lovely. Thank you.

Mind Jack