Diary of a Mareschizo

by Starswirl the Beardless

March 25

Dear Diary,

My name is Amber Blaze, and I love mares.

I love mares so much. I love their kind spirits. I love their scrunchy noses and their brushable tails. I love their pretty manes and their big, beautiful eyes. Don’t tell anypony I said this, but I even love their snowpities. Oh, I feel so naughty writing that!

I can’t remember when I started loving mares exactly. Maybe I always did? It’s been a long time anyway, but lately, mares are all I can think about. Some days I can’t even think properly I’m thinking about mares so much. It’s like my brain is just MAREMAREMAREMAREMARE all day long!

That’s part of the reason I decided to start this diary. One of my friends (who’s a really cute mare btw) told me that writing in a diary is a good way to sort out your thoughts and to remember things. Well, I got a lot mare-related thoughts I need to sort out, so I decided to give it a shot!

Oh, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, aren’t I? I’m not normally so straight-to-business, but where mares are concerned…

Anyway, my name is Amber Blaze! Oh wait, I said that already, didn’t I? Sorry. I’m not that good at introductions, not when I’m thinking about mares, that is. You can imagine how hard it is for me when I meet a cute new mare!

My full name is Amber Blaze, but most of my friends just call me Amber. Back when I was in school though, I had a teacher who always called me Miss Blaze when she was upset with me...which was a lot. I didn’t do very well in school, probably because I spent so much time thinking about mares. It’s not my fault though! I don’t know how anypony could sit through a boring math lesson without wanting to just close their eyes and think about mares. My teacher would give me a stern talking-to whenever she caught me daydreaming, but I never minded it that much. She was a cute mare too, after all.

Oh, there I go getting distracted by mares again! Focus, Amber!

Okay, my name is Amber, I’m an Earth pony, and I just turned twenty years old last month. Oh, and something else I should probably tell you is...I’m a mare too.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking, but no, being a mare isn’t as exciting as you’d think, not for me anyways. I don’t know what it is. It just doesn’t scratch the same itch. I guess it’s kinda like how ponies can’t tickle themselves? It’s just not the same if it’s you, but if it’s somepony else…

Sorry, I spaced out there for a second. Mares on the brain.

Anyway, let me tell you what I look like. My coat is sort of yellowy-brown (like amber, go figure). A lot of ponies think my mane and tail are black, but they’re actually just really really dark brown, like my mom’s. My hair is straight, and I typically let it grow out pretty long, but I got it cut recently (by a cute barber-mare), so it’s about down to my shoulders right now.

I’m a little bit shorter than most of the mares my age. It’s never bothered me that much though. Nopony at school ever teased me about it, although it did make it a little bit hard for me in gym class. And even when I was tall enough to catch the ball, there was a good chance I would get distracted by the cute, sweaty mare passing it to me, and I’d end up spacing out and getting hit in the head! I would tell ponies I just had the sun in my eyes, but I don’t think they really believed me, especially when we were playing inside the gym.

Here, why don’t I draw you a picture to help you visualize:

Oh, that didn’t come out very good, did it? Sorry, I’m not a very good at drawing. Well, that's supposed to be me standing next to my new house in Ponyville, although the real thing looks a lot prettier.

Shoot, I forgot to mention that, didn't I? I'm such a scatterbrain. The other reason I decided to start this diary (other than keeping track of my mare thoughts) is because, after all these years, I'm finally leaving my hometown and moving to the big city! Oh, I'm so excited!

I've spent my whole life living here in my little village (Sleepy Grove, pop: 127), and I really do love it here a lot, but this is something I've wanted for a long time now. I want to get out and see the world, and most of all, I want to see all of the cute mares out there too!

Lucky for me, Ponyville is only a few hours away by hoof (the trains don't come to our village, unfortunately), and I know for a fact that there's lots of cute mares that live there! I've been there a few times to visit, and I almost couldn't believe that there was such a wonderful place in Equestria! There's so much to do there, not like here.

Here, nopony does anything except go to school/work and sleep. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a teensy bit, but still. Sure, there's lots of cute mares here, but most of those mares are too busy working on their farms or doing other stuff to spend time with. Most of my old school friends have jobs now, so they don't have time to hang out much either. My mom's been bugging me to get a job too, but she just doesn't get it! Having a job would cut into my mare-appreciating time!

I have been doing some odd jobs around the village for a while though. I had to save up some money so I could move, after all, but I think it'll all be worth it in the end! Once I'm in Ponyville, I'll have lots of time to spend with all of the mares there! I've heard that they love to play and sing and throw parties there all the time! Oh, I can hardly wait!

I'm gonna have the best time ever living in Ponyville, and I'm gonna write all about it in this diary. I don't want to forget even one marement (mare moment) of my time there, so I'll probably be writing a lot!

I wonder what it'll be like once I'm there. I wonder what I'll do first. Will the mares be as cute as I remember them being? Will they all like me? Oh, I really hope so.

Oh, wow. It's getting late. I guess I got so wrapped up thinking about Ponyville that I lost track of time. I should probably hit the hay soon. It's moving day tomorrow, so I have to get up bright and early. I promise I'll write some more tomorrow night, after I get to my new house.

Okay, that was a big yawn. I really gotta go now. Nighty-night, diary. Sweet (mare) dreams.

Comments

[Mystic Sunrise]

Oh brother .