Two weeks have passed since Sunny convinced the pony races to work together. Two weeks since magic returned to Equestria and ponies began learning about friendship.
Now, a strange weather phenomenon calls for an urgent meeting, and the five friends, along with every pony in Equestria, meet a pony that came to answer some questions and kickstart a new adventure. Turns out, activating the three pony crystals was just the beginning and there's a lot more to do.
As they travel to complete their quest, they will meet new friends and new dangers. Turns out Ancient Equestria was a lot more dangerous than they thought.
This is my first adventure fic! Any and all feedback will be greatly appreciated!
Proofreading since chapter 2 by Arbarano.
Cover art made by whizmi. This is temporary while I get a new cover art. I can't draw ponies to save my life, so I'll be looking for an artist.
11/11/21 - Featured! Holy wacamole! Thanks a lot!
I'm loving this so far.
I actually had a thought about when or if they encounter a changeling.
It replaces pipp and hides her in a cocoon. the others notice that "pipp" hasn't touched her phone in over an hour
Please tell me this ends up going somewhere.
I really don't know how to feel about that but okay at least that explains why she's here
That is a pretty interesting and very dark theory about why is there not that many ponies out there especially the cities
That is another possibilities what happened to the other creatures which that kind of make me even more sad right now
Okay this is actually a pretty interesting start so far and apparently the magic it's time to show up especially how Discord introduce himself even though he can't really physically be there right now but him and the Avatar Fluttershy told them about what is going on and what happened to the magic and everything to Sunny and the others and all they have to do is to bring the crystals to that area boy this should be very interesting how this will work can't wait to see how this goes
Sad. Maybe if Twilight and her friends actually tried to reform the trio like they did with Discord instead of simply sending them away and trying to end their apparent friendship like that, they could have changed and this could have been avoided.
Loved it ;)
Can't wait to see what happens!
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I ain't tellin'!
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Thanks for the comments :3
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Everyone makes mistakes. Some mistakes kickstart the end of the world. Whoops?
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Stay tuned!
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I’m taking that as a yes.
I say this is a good chapter but Discord forgot to tell them one thing; who was the mastermind who brought the trio together, manipulated and used them as pawns to increase Twilight's confidence? Hope Avatar Fluttershy doesn't lie to protect her creator's crimes.
Uh-oh...
Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit, Discord?
That's...actually a good explanation for why the unicorns were so down in the movie.
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That isn’t exactly relevant to the current situation.
Wow, I can't wait to see more!
I'm down for this
Great first couple chapters! I love all the lore you're creating, I can't wait to see what comes next!
I didn't know Pipp was a shipper.
Could I get a life-sized Izzy plushie to snuggle with now?
Ah, a fellow Zipp-Hitch shipper! Honestly, Sunny is my number one ship for Hitch (I'm a sucker for childhood-friends-becoming-lovers stories) but Zipp is a very, VERY close second. I would honestly be totally fine with her snagging Hitch. I just hope they don't do some stupid "love triangle" story.
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Also, "airheads" sounds like it would be a slur against Pegasi, Sunny.
Isn't that basically what you did 2 weeks ago?
I’m sure you did, Sunny.
Nice, Hitch is treated as a second class citizen in his friend group. Also, Pipp’s kinda rude. Why are these ponies still friends?
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If this continues, I wouldn't mind seeing Hitch put his hoof down and tell them off a bit.
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It would definitely be nice, but considering there wasn't the slightest bit of that foreshadowed here, I wouldn't get your hopes up.
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Why in the world do you say Hitch is treated like that? Is it because he was sent to sleep in another room?
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Exactly. They, as a group, decide to have a sleepover before going off on this adventure, and then AFTER they arrive at the palace together, they retroactively decide Hitch can’t attend. Imagine if your friend group did that to you. “Hey, let’s have a party!” Then when you show up they stop you, and ONLY you, at the door and say “Not you, you’re not allowed in. Later nerd!” And then all your friends go off to have fun without you. On top of that, neither Sunny nor Hitch say a word or express a single thought that this may be a kinda crappy thing to do. Nothing! Not even a curious look from Hitch to Sunny asking silently why she isn't saying anything. They are literal childhood friends. Sunny doesn’t see ANYTHING wrong with excluding ONLY him? Hitch isn’t even a LITTLE put out that he’s the only one not allowed to attend just because of his gender? Or because Pipp wants to set him up with Zipp or whatever, which is just as poorly handled for its own reasons. Where’s the humanity? Why do these ponies act like cardboard cutouts going through the motions of a script instead of actual people?
The worst thing is it’s completely unnecessary. There was no reason at all to force him out other than to remove him from the scene. I assume so you could shoehorn in a little more shipping fuel.
This whole chapter just reeks of surface level storytelling with no deeper thought or substance to it. I was pretty interested in the first chapter as it was a nice setup with some fun implications of what may happen later in the fic. And it’s sad to see a great premise peter off into mediocre shipping cliches and plot contrivances so soon.
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Welp, sad you ain't liking it.
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I kind of agree with this. It did feel pretty out-of-character for Sunny not to say anything. Especially since she didn't catch on to what Pipp was trying to do. Kinda felt like "Oh, you're getting kicked out Hitch? Well, sucks to be you!"
I still gave the story a like and I will continue reading it, but that whole bit didn't feel right to me.
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She did ask Pipp if it was a bad thing he slept with them. But well, I'll take the feedback and try to get my intentions accross more clearly :3
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I will keep reading. I promise.
To relish a thing is to like it. There's a weird misuse, "relish in", going around, which seems to be caused by conflation with "revel in", but I've never seen "relish on" before. Except on hot dogs.
Weasel. It's a mustelid, not a municipality in the Rhineland.
ohh my lord Spike is as big as a flpping Mountain. o.o
Thestral's: Are we a joke?
This is really very good and it's a darn shame it's one of those fics that gets written just before the series starts and contradicts everything in it.
Hi Spike!
He kind of WAS the crowning site
Gotta love that Izzy
Things gettin good
Hi Spike! Good to see you! You and Hitch could be total bros.
Poor Spike. Forced to sleep for a thousand plus years, grows to the size of a mountain, and still gets zero respect.
Lovely chapter!
And I am seriously enjoying the world building.
I’m preferential to long chapters, so these are my cup of tea.
Hooray! And the next leg of the journey begins!
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A hill, but yes, he's really big. Like the dragon lord begore Ember took over.
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*looks away and whistles*
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I actually wanted to write this fic as soon as the movie came out precisely because there is no canon yet. There are a ton of things to explore and let the imagination let loose!
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Thanks! I too prefer longer chapters! When I see fics with chapters 1 or 2k words long maximum I normally get discouraged because if the story is good, then it only means there's too little! I hope my fic is good enough to make people want the long chapters!
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wow, and it's no secret that Ember's dad, Torch, was huge. o.o
For a minute I thought Sunny was going to confess to Izzy. I was disappointed.
I really hope we get to see Spike in the series, though for some reason, I doubt it'll happen.
Great start to the story! Added to my read list. Following too.
Good chapter!
I'd love to see Hitch and Zipp have some moments like you're doing for Sunny and Izzy.
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I don't think Hitch would be the type to meekly accept being treated unfairly.
"I'm the last real friend you've got in this town. Do you really want to lose me too?"
That was harsh, and he definitely could have handled the situation better. But still, he has a backbone.
That's a cool way to add some depth to Pipp. She has army training.
It makes sense, too.
As far as the lengths of each chapter goes I think it’s getting to the point where you should consider splitting the chapters into multiple parts.