One night, Pinkie Pie stays up late to watch a couple of old horror movies. It should be fun, right? How can a black-and-white feature like "Night of the Changelings" be at all terrifying?
...Very, very terrifying, as a matter of fact. So much so, that the next day at school Pinkie is grappling with the aftermath of horrible nightmares, and the creeping fear that any of her classmates could be a slime-dripping alien bug monster in disguise. Now her friends have to find a way to calm her down, and hopefully do so *before* she goes completely off the deep end.
Shamelessly inspired by the SpongeBob episodes "Krab Borg" and "Fear of a Krabby Patty".
Rated T just for the sake of caution.
Hi, S-C -- great job on your debut story!
Nice work on your characterization of Pinkie and her sisters, especially Maud -- you nailed her deadpan reaction perfectly. Plus Pinkie's reaction after that: it was exactly how Pinkie would respond. The nightmare scene is well-done, too, though it's almost a little too normal for Pinkie Pie's dreamscape -- there weren't enough streamers and strobe lights! Maybe you could work that in as a clue to Pinkie that these dreams aren't "normal" for her. Also, just a thought: if these are Changelings, it would have been even creepier if they'd unexpectedly started consuming Pinkie's laughter and happiness, rather than trying to eat her, with Pinkie wondering what the hay is going on, since that wasn't in the movie...
Side note: when you mentioned a movie from the 50's and 70's, I did immediately think of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" -- the 70's version is one of my favorite sci-fi/horror films, and I still think it's the best remake hands down. I wonder how Pinkie would react to the Aliens series... she'd likely go full-bore Ripley and create all kinds of havok -- that'd be fun to see!
Again, nice job! Looking forward to seeing what happens in the next chapter!
I will never get tired of Pinkie being able to tell what her sisters are really feeling and are trying to say. I also like that all the Pie Sisters have, not necessarily communication issues, but, something like that. Pinkie's bouncing around all the time, talking a mile a minute, Marble's cripplingly shy, Maud is more monotone than a Cyberman and Limestone's generally very aggressive.
Pinkie, she's a horse. Though Twilight DOES know bug monsters, I don't think Ocellus would enjoy being called a bug monster. Or Thorax. Pharynx might find it funny though.
I get the feeling she's LONG since gotten used to the utterly bizarre places her sister's mind goes to. She is the undisputed expert of "It's Pinkie Pie, don't question it".
Aw, that's nice.
Well, there's more than a few who think she's attractive, so, I suppose, yes.
Oh THAT kind of snack. Nightmare, gotcha.
You couldn't if you tried, her Plot Armor is as thick as that head of hair of hers.
No wonder it felt familiar.
Hehe. Great start bud!
I am settin' this on track to keep an eye out for more
Remarkably capturing :) keep up the good work!
I'll be damned, ya done wrote a story! Pretty good so far!
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Thank you for the praise, and for the in-depth comment! I'm especially pleased you liked my writing for Maud, I've really grown fond of writing her in the short amount of time I've had to do scenes with her.
You make a good point about the nightmare scene - I suppose I got a bit lost in trying to avoid making it too scary or off-putting I forgot just who was having it. You also make an interesting point about the Changelings in the dream eating Pinkie's laughter or happiness, that would have a great twist; I'd just designed the ones in the movie off of real world horror monsters. XD
Glad to see you caught the Body Snatchers reference there! Fun fact, originally Pinkie's "Changeling" movie was gonna be based majorly on Alien - but then I remembered changelings replacing people and decided the Body-Snatchers idea worked even better. I might be slipping in some references to Ripley and her foes though in a subsequent chapter though, hehe...
Again, thanks for saying so! I hope to deliver reasonably soon on the next installment.
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Thank you, all of you!
I'm loving this so far. I like how it's inspired by SpongeBob but not blatantly copying the script word for word like soooo many other "inspired by this SpongeBob episode" stories I've seen on this site.
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I had way too much fun writing Pinkie and her sisters in this chapter. I really love the various extremes among all their personalities and find that they practically write themselves when I set down to make a scene with them. Definitely one of my favorite parts of this chapter to make! XD
I kinda imagine that in the Pie house, Limestone ineffectually threatens to kill Pinkie, if not ALL the time, then a whole of it. The tsun part of tsundere with her and all.
If you gotta steal, might as well be from the best.
Thanks for the comment!
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Why thank you! Yeah, I know that there's a number of these "redo X with Y characters" out there, and while the idea of it can be fun, it has to be done with a lot more than just copy-pasting Pinkie Pie into SpongeBob's role or whatever.
I'm really glad you're enjoying this so much right out the gate! And thanks for the fav too!
I knew those were references to George Romero. Nice tribute to the Father of Zombies.
Also, nice chapter!
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Thanks! Glad you liked what I've got so far.
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You're welcome, friend.
I'd say this is off to a fantastic start. Also, poor Pinkie...
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Thank you!
And yes, I agree. Poor girl, she's in for a rough night.
Ponkers must sleeeeeeep. This is definitely not gonna be her day.
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You said it. Poor girl...
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Oh, poor Pinkie. She doesn't deserve any of this. Though now I'm afraid of what'll happen when Sunset tells her about the changelings back in Equestria...
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ROBOTS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE NAVY!!!
Best line in the whole episode.
Gary, if you were a robot, you would tell me, right?
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Agreed. I do feel bad about putting her through such torment, even if I do kinda find stuff like the documentary scene hilarious.
Ohh no. Sunset telling her about the real Changelings, that would be a real disaster.
Theory: Limestone is Mr. Krabs.
You toned it down? Can you send the original to me so that I'll be creeped out like the time I read Cupcakes?
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Not the Navy!
I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.
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I never even wrote out the original idea! But heck, maybe I will, just for giggles, if you're *really* interested.
Oh, that's creepy.
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Creepy, most definitely. And also, true to life too. Link.
That teacher probably knows a lot about wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff.
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Thank you!
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A tiny voice is telling me, "This is a bad idea," but I can barely hear that little voice because and even louder little voice is saying, "Read the super creepy fic!"
Anyone who gets that reference is awesome.
Well as long as she doesn't tie up her friends and interrogate them by smashing their household appliances, it'll be fine.
... She didn't get any sleep.
Pinkie's mind goes to weird places when she's well rested, so when she's on 12 cups of coffee, no sleep and paranoia? Oh boy.
I feel the need to point out that it's PINKIE PIE.
I like you.
Ah, so this is what we're doing.
Not by any stretch of the imagination.
Wasps are evil.
She did.
WOW you are sleep deprived.
Sounds about right. Twilight Sparkle is not a pony/person with much of a sense of aesthetic.
Uh... boy is that the wrong thing to say within earshot of Pinkie.
Coffee and 1 donut.
This feels like a particularly mean-spirited Disney/Looney Toons cartoon. Like in vein of the one where Donald reads a scary book while listening to a horror podcast type thing. But in a good way.
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Good reference.
Nah, don't worry. The only way I'd have someone's stuff get trashed would have been if it were to happen to someone *really* odious - like if this story had Indigo Zap and Lemon Zest interrogating Cinch or something. I have a dark sense of humor but I'm not a total sadist.
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I relish the chance to give teacher characters a chance to be reasonable authority figures. And really, like I'm gonna have the human counterpart of Time Turner / Dr. Whooves be a jerk.
Yeah. Not subtle at all, but hey, it can be funny if done right.
Well, that last bit is good at any rate. I have a rather dark sense of humor at times and I often worry about putting characters through *too* much hell. Glad to know I'm hitting the sweet spot between cruel and fun, I suppose.
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It's not subtle, no, but, it's Pinkie Pie's paranoia centered comedy. I feel like on the nose works better.
Being a fan of 50's horror and SF I love the films Pinkie chose. I guess Queen Chrysalis and her Changelings are a long-running series in the EqG world?
I really like how well you nailed the personalities of Pinkie, Maud, Limestone and Marble. You got them perfectly.
It'll be interesting to see where this story goes.
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Thanks! I'm glad that you like it so far. I hope to do more with it real soon...
It seemed appropriate that the Changelings and Chrysalis would be horror-movie monsters in the EG world. I mean if Tirek is a video-game character, it kinda stands to reason (at least in my view) that some of the other more monstrous characters from Equestria might only exist in fictionalized form in a world where the ponies are humans. XD
I had a lot of fun writing the Pie sisters, so I'm really happy that you think I got their voices right here. Thanks!
Congratulations on your first story!
This first chapter certainly packs a punch, especially with that nightmare scene. You write Pinkie very well - I can just imagine Andrea Libman screeching these lines:
I'm eager to see how this all plays out.
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Thank you!
I'm very proud of this first chapter, and I'm glad it works out well. (I actually had to tone down some bits of Pinkie's nightmare from what originally percolated in my thoughts for it - I wanted it to be genuinely upsetting and scary to Pinkie, but not *too* grotesque or disgusting either.) I'm unduly proud of those two lines you highlighted and I'm glad that they work well!
Thanks again! I hope to get more done this week, so hopefully it'll be worthwhile. And thanks for the fav too!
Glad to help. Looking 4ward 2 more. Love this.
You can say that again. At this point the story's gone past dark comedy and entered straight sadism territory. Downvoted and unfollowed.
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Oh well. Can't win 'em all, that's my view of the matter. Frankly I'm just surprised to have found out that you were even following or reading this to begin with. My first ever downvote! I shall treasure it. XD
For what it's worth, I did mean it when I said I had plans to bring this to a happy ending. And for whatever else it's worth, my earliest draft of this story was one that *I* found too sadistic in humor, so I dialed it back. So yeah.
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Until today I had thought you the voice of reason among EchoWing's readers, so when I had noticed you published something I thought it worth giving a chance. Clearly I was wrong.
Pinkie's so far gone she's hallucinating everyone as changelings, the other girls are literally having to hunt her down, and she's about to attack and tie up Flash Sentry for being unfortunate enough to be in the room she chose to hide in. And given that the others don't even know where she is, and she's locked the door to the room, either the attack will succeed, or Flash will have to literally fight his way out. A happy ending is impossible at this point.
Ponkers, ya gotta get some sleep! And dang it Sunset, ya shouldn't have told her that
In al seriousness though, I enjoyed this! Glad to see it updated, can't wait to see more.
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Thanks, and I agree, Sunset did make a mistake there. But well, we all do, and she was kinda put on the spot. Oh well. XD
Glad to hear that you like the update, at least. Like I said, two more chapters to go!
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Jeez... all I did was write a story that was never meant to be taken at all seriously. Are you telling me that one incomplete story that doesn't land for you is seriously enough to, uh, wreck your opinion of me as a person? Because that's kind of the attitude I'm getting here.
I think you are underestimating, and I can't state this enough here, that this is not something at all meant to be taken seriously. It's a dumb dark comedy fic I trotted off for fun, based on some of my favorite episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants, retooled somewhat to fit in the context of Equestria Girls. Nothing more, nothing less.
I don't mind if you think that this isn't funny. That doesn't really bother me. What bothers me more is the sense I get that you think I'm a true sadist for writing this. This was just for fun. That is it. Again, I'm sorry that it didn't work for you. But I'd like to hope, at least, that you won't think I'm some kind of psychopath all over one story.
When I picture Pinkie with bloodshot eyes, Secrets and Pies comes to mind.
The escalation in this chapter works very well. I'm eager to see how this is ultimately resolved.
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I love that episode. One of my favorites of Season Seven, I'd say.
I'm glad that you thought it worked! And believe me, I hope to do my best to deliver a satisfactory conclusion.