As Rarity’s days pass her by, all she has to show for them is small town coffee, slow corporate Wi-Fi, and a distant hope for inspiration.
But change paces about slow and unsteady, and Rarity – well, Rarity’s hardly ever been the patient type.
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But, doesn't Rarity live in a city?
I'll probably—certainly—leave a longer comment once this has finished. For now, it will hopefully suffice for me to say that I find your work absolutely inspiring in its quality and attention to the nuances of post-adolescent life.
Thanks for writing and sharing it.
I initially thought this would have been about humanized ponies, since I saw the character tags first (and they're the ones for the pony counterparts).
They're like flotsam adrift in the sea of time, desperately clinging to each other lest they find themselves truly alone. And then there's Sweetie Belle, the worst buoy in all the world. Life really is suffering.
Holy shit, that whole Oh my God I haven't seen them in so long maybe it'll be weird and I'm also kind of a big disappointment now so you know what maybe I shouldn't go is so relatable it's sad. Why you gotta do me like that, man?
Too bad Rainbow's so deep in her melancholia she can barely see past the surface.
So, you know, dude, you love to snapshot the most boring people in the entire world -- like wow, they've been so motionless for so long that they've made a hole in the earth by grace of gravity alone -- but the way you engage with the mundane is so shrewdly perceptive and accurate that it's like stepping into a movie set so convincing it might as well be your own life now. It's foreign, but familiar, and almost uncomfortably close to home. The wit, however, is far more enjoyable than my own day to day jibber jabber. I will have to improve.
You write about this theme a decent bit, stagnation, aimlessness, the slow realization that you're being left behind, but rarely do your characters grapple with it in such a way that they both recognize it and take measures to fight back. I appreciate this direction a lot, a message of hope, of reemergence into the public world, the idea that you are never so lost that you cannot find your way. But, related to this theme, I would also like to offer a piece of critique.
The way in which Rarity comes to her final conclusion feels a little heavy handed, like you're telling us directly what the story's all about, especially because it's something we already knew. It's been apparent from the beginning that Rarity's living a life unfulfilled, and so by letting us see Rarity parse that out piece by piece it feels a little redundant. The realization itself is less important than what she does about it. Her spontaneous action of change implies that she's recognized her problem, is fed up with it, and is ready to start moving on. Rainbow's daring plan then finalizes the transition from where she began and where she's headed next. The theme is good, and so is the message, and everything around it is awesome, but in that moment it feels like you're drawing an exclamation mark on the page and circling it, and I think it could be a bit more subtle than that.
And that is my piece. Your characters continue to bend under the weight of expectation versus reality, coping the best way they know how, snappy banter, and I continue to enjoy it.
10190975
Thanks mate!
Especially the notes you made on the resolution part, I need that insight. It was the section I was bracing the most for; it felt telly at the time, but all the same I was afraid I might not have told the audience enough. But your input -- brilliant as always, I will add :) -- has shed the headlight on that dark road to steer me clear of those potholes (or, at least, will, once I circle back to edit).
Cheers!
Really rubs me the wrong way how this hasn't gotten more attention. Thought it would be a hot read for at least half a week or so!
Second half into my college career... can relate to the fact that I may become this Rarity at her lowest point after (or nearing) graduation. She's left behind, trapped in a sinkhole with Rainbow Dash, both of whom (ironically) are known to be very preeminent in their passions in the G4 series. Like us in quarantine throughout this entire damn of a mess, choices/opportunities seem limited, (Rarity and Rainbow Dash's) future seems bleak as we repeat the same crap over and over like we're devolving into primates; like we didn't choose to be born into this world.
But as we grow, we're left to our own devices, substantial or not, there's always room to grow even in a town where it "wasn’t big enough" for them both. It's like a game of football/soccer (in which that loyal, former Wondercolt can relate to): you create space even when you're on the far side of the field that eventually leads to open space in the middle where the choice is yours to score. And it was brilliant how you depicted Rarity in such fashion.
The show-not-tell cog ends with a little crack at the end of the last chapter, however. Like some of the previous readers who have mentioned, some redundancy that kind of makes people think of lazy writing (because now they don't have to critically think about the message and how it's been inaugurated since the first sentence of the story). And do correct me on this tiny punctuational if I'm wrong, but quite the misuse of en (–) and em (—) dashes (former most of the time in your writing instead of the latter) you have there.
Other than that, this is one of the finest EQG (or post-EQG?) fics I've ever come across on this site. You've certainly outdone it :3
Jesus, I need a drink
This deserves way more reads and likes.
This was really good, and depicted the ennui of being stuck in a small town while your friends have moved on well. Granted, Canterlot as depicted in EQG didn't seem that small, but it's fine to fudge the numbers on that. It was rough seeing Rarity in this state, but it was also easy to see how it happened. That moment of Rarity and Rainbow reuniting with Sunset and Twilight was really nice, and it was a shame to see them go back to their rut after. At least they're pushing back a bit now.
The characterizations were mostly great, though Sweetie didn't come off as someone heading to college, but rather still in her early teens. There were also numerous spelling and grammar mistakes, increasing in the last chapter, but I could tell this came straight from the heart to print, so that's understandable.
Also, good choice of cover art 👀
I read this fic while sitting at a bar, drinking something called a Dark Manhattan (interesting drink, will never order it again), and wondering what I want from my life. I think that ending is what I needed to read. Thank you.