“All packed?”
“What would I pack for Equestria? Spare shoes?”
Luna climbed into the car, carefully watching her sister on the passenger side. An unstated, but obvious signal for the siblings came whenever Celestia abandoned her usual role as driver.
Not the only sign, either. “Dry wit is my job, Tia. What’s wrong?”
“I’ll be fine.” Celestia avoided eye contact in favor of checking her watch. “Sunset’s there already, we should move.”
Luna accepted the dodge only long enough to put her sister off-guard. Once the ten-minute drive was halfway done, she let it out with a gentle smile. “Not that I would know, but breakups are rough. Was it Professor Whooves or Iron Will?”
“What makes you say it’s one of them?” Celestia asked.
“Because you have as much social life as I do,” Luna replied. “It has to be someone at work.”
“My sister, the unsung genius.” Celestia smiled back gently. “Fine, it was Iron Will. We ended things officially this week. Great hunter, good friend, and the posturing masculinity was a turn-on – don’t judge. Just nothing to talk about besides work and himself, and five dates with no change takes the steam right out of a relationship.”
Luna whistled and shook her head. “Cards on the table, I don’t know what I would have done if you kept going. Fine guy, but financially he’s a sleazeball. Remember reading about his old tour guide business? If we let him handle the gun money it’d get blown on muscle cars and get-rich-quick schemes.”
“And if Redheart handled it, it would be expensive whiskey and unneeded explosives. None of us are perfect.”
Celestia released a long sigh and looked out the window as her precious school came into sight. “We could have made it work, I think. I started dating to change my life. But when push came to shove, I found I didn’t want to. I’m happy where I am, and that makes me feel strange because I know I should want more.”
“If you like being single, stay single,” Luna said as they pulled into the school grounds. A familiar redhead leaned against its equine statue and waved at their approach. “And yes, my own self-interest lies there too because I’d be terrified if you ever moved out. But you’re a vampire-hunting bad-ass single mom of a magic space pony, so there’s nobody in the world who could say you’re somehow incomplete without an S.O.”
Celestia waved back at Sunset, putting on a brighter smile. “Hm, thank you. I’m not accustomed to feeling ‘wrong’ like that.”
“Fortunately, I’m an expert.”
“You’re perfect, Lulu.”
“Now believe it about yourself.” Luna reached over and jostled Celestia’s shoulder. “Come on, get pumped. In ten minutes we’ll be in no-shit Equestria.”
The gentle chuckle Celestia gave grew to a girlish titter as they stepped outside. “I am excited. And I’m so thankful you decided to come, I’d be scared by myself.”
Luna cracked a grin. “That’s another thing you do: discreetly phrase things to make it sound like other people are doing you favors, so they feel good about themselves.”
“It works.” Celestia stepped readily into Sunset’s hug, both her and Luna wearing loose purses with the few needs they expected in Equestria. The school stood deserted aside from them – Canterlot High forewent the traditional summer vacation for multiple shorter breaks through the year. The autumn one began yesterday, and would end two days after their return.
Seclusion was welcome, especially for what happened next. “Sunset, if you please.”
The young teen obligingly presented her back as the sisters disrobed by the statue’s mirror. None of them had any idea what would happen to human-made clothes on the way through, and Celestia had insisted their garments not be needlessly risked.
“Hey Tia, we’re naked in school.”
“Then put on your towel.”
A towel and a purse. According to Princess Twilight they wouldn’t even need those.
Two pink arms reached around and hugged Sunset from behind. “Love you. Study hard, stay safe, call Miss Harshwhinny if anything comes up.”
“Love you, Mom. Have fun.” Sunset patted one of the hands before they left her. “What am I talking about, of course you will. Just make sure Luna does, too.”
“Love you too, kid.”
“Love you Aunt Luna.”
“Love you Tia.” Luna added.
“Come on, joker. Before midnight.” Celestia placed a gentle peck on Sunset’s cheek then retreated. She hoisted the purse, traded a shrug and excited grin with Luna… and stepped through the portal.
Courtesy of Sunset’s sketches, the first sight of a mirror on the other side came as no huge surprise. Yes, they were clones of the Celestia and Luna of Equestria, sans jewelry and poise. And yes, another winged unicorn was there as promised. Her purple hue and lovably dorkish demeanor rendered her frantic introduction as “This world’s Twilight Sparkle, who fought Sunset and played in the Band Battle but didn’t join the Friendship Games or attend Canterlot High beyond that, who is a princess in this world but please treat me normally,” a bit unnecessary, but Celestia let the excitable girl get it out of her system.
Luna did not stare at her hooves and scream, as she said she would. Celestia had spent the last days presuming it was a joke, and felt duly grateful she was right.
They toured the “Friendship Palace,” earning the doubtless first of many eye-rolls from Luna. But Celestia covered as she always did, offering a steady flow of intelligent questions and polite awe at their surroundings. Things remained calm and pleasant as they moved on to the “Friendship School.”
Griffons and pegasi floated lazily in the air above them. Snow-capped mountains and idyllic fields could be seen in the distance, while outside Celestia caught glimpses of candy-colored ponies going about their business. Even what was surely Canterlot and Cloudsdale were visible – home of the derbies and galleries on their itinerary. That was only the start, too. Twilight, Sunset, and the demigod twins had coordinated beautifully, laying out a full month of adventure, relaxation, and fun before them.
A soft, tingling burn worked its way to Celestia’s throat. She coughed and rubbed it, feeling the sensation spread across her body.
She looked to Luna – shivering, just as Celestia now was. Like an adrenaline rush with nowhere to go.
A building violin began playing in the background. Celestia finally spoke up, smiling even as her mouth demanded more. “Twilight? Something’s wrong.”
Twilight turned to them, peering worriedly before giving a closed-eyes smile. “No, nothing’s wrong. Just let it flow!”
“What?” Luna snapped. “What the hell–”
A piercing whistle interrupted. They whipped around to see a grizzled police pony proffering an empty glass jar.
At the silence, he coughed grumpily and tapped his hoof on the glass.
“I’ll get this one.” Twilight raised a coin from some hidden source and dropped it in the jar. The officer eyed it, nodded, and went on his way.
“You have a swear jar?” Luna snarled, though ended with an ‘oof’ as Celestia nudged her with the… horse butt. Celestia had moved on instinct.
“When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Celestia chided. “It’s the same for Equestria.”
The violin grew louder, and rapid keys from a piano joined in. Luna stared back, sweating, as some unseen floodgates cracked in both of them. “Equestria?”
“Yes,” Celestia managed, trembling. “Here we are, in Equestria.”
“The home of Princess Celestia?” Luna responded with a husky whisper, her eyes like dinner plates.
Twilight squealed. “It’s happening!”
Both sisters thought the obvious question, but none could get it out. Instead they ran. Some unknown knowledge brought them out from the school, chased by a crescendo of music as the gates within them at last burst forth. They each took a deep breath, clopped one hoof to the other’s, and somehow waved outwards while balanced perfectly on their hind legs.
(To the tune of Another Opening, Another Show)
“Here we are in Equestria
The home of Princess Celestia
A chance for us to get some rest-ria
Now, here we go into Equestria!”
Trumpets blared along as they twinkle-toed down the street, each step sending a piano chime through the air. Some ponies began swaying in place as they watched the display, while others stomped their hooves to the beat.
“This was a mistake.”
“When in Rome,” Celestia said again. “Just focus on the good things coming up for us.”
“Like what?” Luna grumbled. She twirled and sprung from Celestia’s side, and a swarm of butterflies passed behind her.
One hovered around Celestia’s nose, and she gave a particular hearty laugh Luna had not heard for a long time. “Well...”
“In Equestria I’m a talking horse
No diabetes, so no remorse
From eating doughnuts, and cake, and worse!
So, here we go into Equestria!”
“I never knew you missed those things,” Luna said as they pranced down the street, followed in-step by a crowd of dozens.
“I don’t normally, but we’re ponies, so why not? We’re 300 pounds already. And then comes the airships, beaches, pegasus shows, art galleries!”
“Did you see the outdoor toilets behind the houses? It won’t all be fun and games.”
“That’s what makes it an adventure!”
“Vacation time is now here at last!”
“But no idea how to scratch my–”
“Luna!
We’ve magic, wings, it will be a blast!
Then, here we go into Equestria!”
“Wings, right.” Luna gave hers an experimental flap, laughing as it launched her three feet from the ground. “Think we can learn how to fly for real?”
“If it’s important for you we can cancel something else,” Celestia said. “I have a feeling you just agreed to those Canterlot art galleries for my sake.”
The crowd of dozens had became a hundred. The sisters took off, clumsily buffeting each other as they spiraled outwards, all while a familiar pegasus traced a rainbow in the sky.
“As humans go, we’re the only ones
To cross this border to have some fun
With butts of moonbeams, and butts of suns
And here we go into Equestria.
We’ll have some good times, and trials too
And stick together, sisters true!
Middle-aged women, coming for you
Are you ready for us Equestria?”
heh
I love how singing is borderline involuntary in this version of Equestria. I always wondered if the ability to spontaneously break into perfectly choreographed musical numbers would ever be awkward for tourists
Now my only question is will we see a cameo from Chrysalis...
I hope the relationship talk was a Chekov's and she finds someone. Considering her tastes it'll be someone very large and very, very much male. Maybe Torch?
Luna tough... I think the Lunas will pretend hook up just to mess with their Celestias, only to have the joke played on them when they actually fall for each other.
Then cue human Luna coming back to live equestria thirty years from now to enjoy her eternity of retirement with her selfcestual love.
Now I wanna read that, damnit!
Fair enough.
Nothing wrong with being happy with the way things are.
True.
Oh Equestria has its own issues.
Huh?
EH?
Ah, Heartsong. Explains the title.
Wine moms in da house!
"In da horse?"
Hmmmm....about that rest bit...anyone going to tell them they should get out of Ponyville before that?
I laughed at the swear jar, would it mattered if they screeched out a few swears in griffin?
I was so expecting a "three shells" moment from Luna.
Nice chapter.
Cute even.
--Spade
I hope you have more chapters following their adventures here! This is gold!
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That reference is going to outlive the knowledge of that movie at this rate.
You know, there's evidence for diegetic musical numbers in EG canon, the strongest example being Wallflower Blush's song. She stops abruptly, and later Sunset and Trixie deliberately fast-forward through their classmate's spontaneous song. It could be argued that Wallflower sang because she was influenced by Equestrian magic, but note that Trixie reacts like everything is normal.
But this is a slightly darker AU where things in Human World aren't going to exactly match canon.
You know what makes it special? It's not the witty dialogue, it's not the fantastic humor, it's not the semi-fourth-wall-breaking exposition...it's actually the loving bond that Celestia and Luna show towards Sunset. They're a real family. They're all monster hunters, and Sunset's a trans-dimensional space horse, but they love each other truly, and it's shown in the way they talk, act, and even share meals together.
The sisters didn't have to take her in to the extent that they did; they had their own lives and between their regular careers and hunting they were already busy, and adding Sunset to the mix would not only add to their plate, but possibly put her in danger too, and given how magical calamities follow Sunset around, put them in even more danger.
But they did it anyway, and there was no conditions or half-arsing or when-it's-convenient asterisks about it. They embraced it completely and fully, with no turning back.
I think that Equestria's Celestia respects that, and maybe even sees what she had hoped would've been her relationship with Sunset had things gone differently, and is so thankful to the other Celestia and Luna for giving Sunset that family that they were allowed to vacation in Equestria as a show of gratitude.
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Now I really want to have like Twilight or someone all enthused for a fight and say "Come on, let's blow these guys!" And then Sunset with declining patience after three times sternly informs her to add "Away! Blow them away!"
When they started singing, I was reading it to the tune of a completely different song at first, then I clicked the link and decided I like it to the tune of this song better, even if it doesn't quite fit.
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Or have somepony quit their job by telling someone to shovel it.
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This comment... Thank you much.
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Only if the author wants a Chryslestia or Chrysuna bit! (I'm down for either!)
Vice Principal Luna, you are fined one bit for violation of the verbal morality statute...
"And unneeded explosives made from expensive whiskey."
"Don't be ridiculous; she wouldn't waste the good stuff on Molotovs."
Now that would make one heck of a business card.
I'm a bit disappointed they disrobed before entering the portal. Not because of a lost opportunity for fan service upon their return, just the missed opportunity for portal science.
In any case, this should be quite fun for the two of them. And I definitely see Princess Celestia feigning humanity at least once.
Well, I'm all caught up on this one. Can't wait for more.
Bahahahahahaha.
I would pay actual money for a bonus chapter with Nagatha going through the portal and fumbling through the obligatory song.
… even though we all know how it would unfold. She'd discover that the interruption of paying for the swear jar would halt the song buildup in its tracks, procure a giant pile of bits, and swear at thirty-second intervals her entire time there.
Ok the swear jar? How is that monitered? Who cordinates that? Is there somepony everywhere to collect? Is it just for the school? Is this a prank by Twilight? I have so many questions
> glimpses of candy-colored ponies
Considering that they came from EQG, the coloration should be the only normal thing here, right?
I’m judging, Celly. I’m judging HARD.
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True, tbh having a normal skin tone human in that universe must be WEIRD.
Gosh darn it… can’t even have the luxury of cursing in this world.
Is the two principal turned into alicorn ore into normal sized unicorn and pegasus ?
EDIT : So after reading a subsequent chapter, both appeared in Equestria in their alicorn form.
I find this a bit illogical because when Sci-Twi went through the looking glass she was only a unicorn, and as far as I know Luna and Celestia were respectively pegasus and unicorn before their ascension. Besides, having not two but four ponies able to move the moon and the sun and two of them inexperienced, is a bit risky.
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But Celestia and Luna may have done enough in this au for them to be considered alicorns what with the whole undead slayer protector of innocence thing they've got going on
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But you have to remember that first of all you need a predisposition AND an external help, otherwise there wouldn't have been only four alicorns in the whole history of equestria, statistically many other ponies have been at least as deserving. No alicorn has ascended alone, Celestia and Luna had Starswill and Cadance and Twilight Celestia. Also, in a non-magical world there is no way humans can develop the potential without a connection to magic, not even an equestrian artifact.
Phrase that you'd never hear outside MLP, and even then you'd never think to hear.
And she is damn good at all of that! Especially the mom part! I do miss more family stuff, it's just so damn sweet!
Aaaaand yay for heartsong! Just give in and except the fun you two. I do question why they are alicorns, but there are enough oddities about they even exist as counter parts to the Princesses as is so... like anything Pinkie Pie does, I'm not going to question it.
But huh... Tia wasn't dating Discord.... well then....
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The implied Dislestia at the end of the last fic was a parting gag for a story not intended to have a sequel. A couple years later when I made one after all I ended up with other plans for the boy, and so had to adapt the dating scene.
I initially wanted to make it work, hence the initial secrecy, but it just ended up feeling off with Celestia spending a good chunk of the story in Equestria anyway.
Peak nonsense