A loud, obnoxious, man-child who enjoys a TV show about pastel colored horses and invasions them in life or death situations.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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its good so far not many typos so good job so far
Seems legit
It is 'come on' not 'common'.
Also the text around half way turned italic for no apparent reason.
8684383
Thank you for the correction, and wow, I didn't even notice that, haha I'll see about fixing the italics, sorry about that
Alright you got me. I'll be waiting for the next chapter
Please continue
Please continue
MOSIT
8730605
Mosit?
8730621
Good chapter. That is all
8730628
Oh, Well thank you. To be honest I wasn't sure about all of the expositional dialogue but I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I love the cover art. Where'd you find it?
8730857
Google images, It's titled man holding the moon i beleive.
Please continue
Don't you play my emotions like this God dammit I don't feel Comfortable good chapter
Lou
8750198
But feeling emotions makes half of the experience, wouldn't you agree?
8750220
yes
Please continue
Get guillotined, bitch!!!![:rainbowlaugh:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowlaugh.png)
You should probably try specifying which character says what. I've noticed quite a few authors forget to, or don't realise they need to, do so. I completely understand why they do so, as I myself have been guilty of this faux pas at one point in my history, I just feel I should inform you of this. It helps readers follow dialogue.
Other than that little tidbit, this story is great, I find the premise interesting, and the character's interactions very amusing and/or endearing. I'm also a bit curious about Edward, what his version of 'Earth' is like, as well as what his magic is like. Or if he even HAS magic.
Is that a meta joke?
8783228
Yes, it's a meta joke.
Damn son, this guy is one heck of a badass!
8783358
Yeah, being a soldier and an assassin tends to do that to people.
Please continue
8787538
Oh, I have every intention to.
excellent story man, really has a different perspective in the characters, more relaxed and smooth , keep up the good work!![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
8990216![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Thank you! Honestly, I was kinda worried that I was making it drag on with all of the chapters that are mostly dialogue. Especially with the summit that's coming up, (Gunna delve into some politics there). But I'm glad you stumbled onto my story and even happier that you're enjoying it so far! I hope I can keep you interested and entertained. Also, any tips on grammar or writing, in general, would be much appreciated in either comment form or DM and thank you again!
Damn it, NOOOOOOOOOO cliffhanger![:applecry:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/applecry.png)
9060323![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Haha yeah sorry ths next chapter will be up soon I promise. I'm glad that it seemed like you enjoyed it!
9061061![:fluttercry:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/fluttercry.png)
I did and do, I just wish you hadn't Cliffed it at such a good part
9061254![:ajsmug:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/ajsmug.png)
Haha okay, that was most likely going to be the only cliffhanger I used because I don't really like them myself, so don't worry there shouldn't be any more cliffs... Until I change my mind.
9061985
I will admit you do them well, so I don't mind more so long as they are just as good![:pinkiecrazy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiecrazy.png)
9065648![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
I can't make any promises about that lol but, I'll be honest I'm super nervous and skeptical of every chapter I post, so comments like yours are very appreciated so thank you for the positive reinforcement and I hope I can keep your interest!
...Hopefully the man's not going to be burning in hell while it's a beautiful day outside.
9067885
Someone got the reference! Good job spotting it.
9067898
Which do you prefer: butterscotch or cinnamon? Junior jumble or crosswords?
I prefer cinnamon and junior jumble (i.e. word search, as I more often hear it called) myself.
9067922
Butterschotch, and junior jumble is too hard ;_;. But I love spaghetti!
Whelp Celestia just lost a Very powerful ally because she couldn't get over her self, Good job!
I wonder who Luna will side with? More so when she finds out Her own sister left him for dead!
Yup, you done fucked up Celestia. You couldn't let go of the past and now it's gonna come back and bite you in the Flank! I can't wait for your own sister to turn against you, Again. It will be sweet justice in my opinion!
Chrysalis may be a Schemer and Master Manipulator, but she DOES care about those who impress her or she considers her Children/Family!
Lunarskeptic I really Hope you have Luna switch sides, It would be sad if He was forced to Fight Her.
9150621
But in all seriousness thank you for your enthusiasm! I look forward to hearing what you have to say about future chapters
Well, the past part and the fact that she's unbelievably racist towards humans for what-ever-reason I have no idea why though
9151324
I had to read that three times to get what you said XD
But with how this is going I KNOW I will enjoy it![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
On a side note, are they gonna start getting Longer? I mean 2.5k words is nothing to Sneeze at buuuut![:twilightsheepish:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsheepish.png)
9150621
I am definitely thinking about it, there are chapter's that ive written that are about 4k words, I just don't want to overstep my bounds because I feel like if I put too much into one chapter it would start to drag on. Like i said in the authors note in the first chapter I am new to this and I'm trying to avoid any pitfalls by keeping my chapters short and sweet unless it's a key turning point in the story. And besides it takes me long enough to write a 2.5 K story as is. Im sure once I get better at writing in general and I feel like I can keep a chapter going for 6K words without boring my reader, I will. Plus there are some moments where Im like 'This needs to be the end point of this chapter!' Like the ending of my most recent upload. I apologize if my answer isn't satisfactory but those are the reasons I like to keep my chapters short.
9151820
No I understand (I am a writer too after all) keep doing it at your pace, I was just wondering if they were going to get any longer. I have seen the average being between 2.5 and 3.5k per chapter as it seems that allows one to Spam out chapters easily and in good Quality.
9151838
Thank you for understanding and sorry for the essay i threw at you lol. If youd like you could DM me with any tips you have for me :)
Luna and Chryssi for the win.
9168586
Yeah, who better to take on Celestia? Hope you're enjoying the story :)
Nice
this is a great story I look forward to any future chapters.
"Coming". As far as I know, this isn't clop.