• Member Since 15th Jan, 2018
  • offline last seen Apr 5th, 2022

Lunarskeptic


A loud, obnoxious, man-child who enjoys a TV show about pastel colored horses and invasions them in life or death situations.

Comments ( 55 )

its good so far not many typos so good job so far

"You'll know when she's here, now common."
"Well somepony is hungry, common let's get you something to eat"

It is 'come on' not 'common'.
Also the text around half way turned italic for no apparent reason.

8684383
Thank you for the correction, and wow, I didn't even notice that, haha I'll see about fixing the italics, sorry about that

Alright you got me. I'll be waiting for the next chapter

8730628
Oh, Well thank you. To be honest I wasn't sure about all of the expositional dialogue but I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I love the cover art. Where'd you find it?

8730857
Google images, It's titled man holding the moon i beleive.

Don't you play my emotions like this God dammit I don't feel Comfortable good chapter

Lou

8750198
But feeling emotions makes half of the experience, wouldn't you agree?

My vision began to blur as the pain of broken ribs took over every sensation, confident in its victory the beast humors me until I stop walking facing it I hold up the third and final device and as I look it straight in the eye, I drop it. The second it touches the ground a blue light runs across between the three forming a triangle, the lines start to rise into the air as bindings shoot out of the corners ensnaring the beasts wrists and neck and forces it to a hunched-over kneel as a slanted blade looms overhead, with one last roar the blade allowed itself to be brought down by gravity, with a thud the last thing I see was the beasts head bouncing off the floor before I fade into nothingness.

Get guillotined, bitch!!! :rainbowlaugh:

You should probably try specifying which character says what. I've noticed quite a few authors forget to, or don't realise they need to, do so. I completely understand why they do so, as I myself have been guilty of this faux pas at one point in my history, I just feel I should inform you of this. It helps readers follow dialogue.

Other than that little tidbit, this story is great, I find the premise interesting, and the character's interactions very amusing and/or endearing. I'm also a bit curious about Edward, what his version of 'Earth' is like, as well as what his magic is like. Or if he even HAS magic.

"I know Spike, but it usually only takes about a half hour to resolve these issues."

Is that a meta joke?

Damn son, this guy is one heck of a badass!

8783358
Yeah, being a soldier and an assassin tends to do that to people.

excellent story man, really has a different perspective in the characters, more relaxed and smooth , keep up the good work!:twilightsmile:

8990216
Thank you! Honestly, I was kinda worried that I was making it drag on with all of the chapters that are mostly dialogue. Especially with the summit that's coming up, (Gunna delve into some politics there). But I'm glad you stumbled onto my story and even happier that you're enjoying it so far! I hope I can keep you interested and entertained. Also, any tips on grammar or writing, in general, would be much appreciated in either comment form or DM and thank you again! :twilightsmile:

Damn it, NOOOOOOOOOO cliffhanger :applecry:

9060323
Haha yeah sorry ths next chapter will be up soon I promise. I'm glad that it seemed like you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

9061061
I did and do, I just wish you hadn't Cliffed it at such a good part :fluttercry:

9061254
Haha okay, that was most likely going to be the only cliffhanger I used because I don't really like them myself, so don't worry there shouldn't be any more cliffs... Until I change my mind. :ajsmug:

9061985

I will admit you do them well, so I don't mind more so long as they are just as good :pinkiecrazy:

9065648
I can't make any promises about that lol but, I'll be honest I'm super nervous and skeptical of every chapter I post, so comments like yours are very appreciated so thank you for the positive reinforcement and I hope I can keep your interest! :twilightsmile:

birds are chirping, flowers are blooming

...Hopefully the man's not going to be burning in hell while it's a beautiful day outside.

9067885
Someone got the reference! Good job spotting it.

9067898
Which do you prefer: butterscotch or cinnamon? Junior jumble or crosswords?
I prefer cinnamon and junior jumble (i.e. word search, as I more often hear it called) myself.

9067922
Butterschotch, and junior jumble is too hard ;_;. But I love spaghetti!

Whelp Celestia just lost a Very powerful ally because she couldn't get over her self, Good job!

I wonder who Luna will side with? More so when she finds out Her own sister left him for dead!

Yup, you done fucked up Celestia. You couldn't let go of the past and now it's gonna come back and bite you in the Flank! I can't wait for your own sister to turn against you, Again. It will be sweet justice in my opinion!

Chrysalis may be a Schemer and Master Manipulator, but she DOES care about those who impress her or she considers her Children/Family!

Lunarskeptic I really Hope you have Luna switch sides, It would be sad if He was forced to Fight Her.

9150621
Well, the past part and the fact that she's unbelievably racist towards humans for what-ever-reason I have no idea why though :trixieshiftright: But in all seriousness thank you for your enthusiasm! I look forward to hearing what you have to say about future chapters

9151324

I had to read that three times to get what you said XD

But with how this is going I KNOW I will enjoy it :pinkiehappy:

On a side note, are they gonna start getting Longer? I mean 2.5k words is nothing to Sneeze at buuuut :twilightsheepish:

9150621
I am definitely thinking about it, there are chapter's that ive written that are about 4k words, I just don't want to overstep my bounds because I feel like if I put too much into one chapter it would start to drag on. Like i said in the authors note in the first chapter I am new to this and I'm trying to avoid any pitfalls by keeping my chapters short and sweet unless it's a key turning point in the story. And besides it takes me long enough to write a 2.5 K story as is. Im sure once I get better at writing in general and I feel like I can keep a chapter going for 6K words without boring my reader, I will. Plus there are some moments where Im like 'This needs to be the end point of this chapter!' Like the ending of my most recent upload. I apologize if my answer isn't satisfactory but those are the reasons I like to keep my chapters short.

9151820

No I understand (I am a writer too after all) keep doing it at your pace, I was just wondering if they were going to get any longer. I have seen the average being between 2.5 and 3.5k per chapter as it seems that allows one to Spam out chapters easily and in good Quality.

9151838
Thank you for understanding and sorry for the essay i threw at you lol. If youd like you could DM me with any tips you have for me :)

Luna and Chryssi for the win.

9168586
Yeah, who better to take on Celestia? Hope you're enjoying the story :)

this is a great story I look forward to any future chapters.

You have a princess to guard and I have to clean up the night guards stations and possibly put together a guard unit for the Luna's going to in the cumming week.

"Coming". As far as I know, this isn't clop.

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