AMICITAS FLIGHT THREE – MISSION DAY 522
ARES III SOL 512
Cherry Berry stared at the computer screen. It glowed red, with the following words in white written over it:
SIMULATION TERMINATED – IMPACT WITH SURFACE AT 1327.4 m/s
PRESS ENTER TO END SIMULATION
Growling softly, she tapped the appropriate key on the keyboard with one hoof, then slumped back on the flight couch.
“So, we died, huh?” Starlight Glimmer asked. She hadn’t had anything to do in the simulation except look at her own computer, which still had the Sparkle Drive interface of two sliders- one for mass to be moved, one for pulses per second, and a start/stop button. The simulation hadn’t got far enough to bring the Drive into play.
“Yes, we died,” Cherry said quietly. “And I would have sworn that we had it under control. A yaw thrust malfunction plus three booster crystals failing on launch. But I’d swear I had the trajectory on the ball! How could we have crashed?”
“Don’t know,” Spitfire muttered. “But Martinez tells us in a few minutes.”
Indeed, in only six minutes (the simulation had only run a minute and a half) Martinez’s voice came over the MAV comms. “Well, Johanssen got you,” he said. “Don’t feel bad; she got me with that combo too, about a month ago. I notice you reset the thruster breakers. Nice try, but your thrusters were fine. You lost a first stage engine without the indicator light showing it, and suffered an altitude radar malfunction. Combined with losing part of your magic booster system, it’s only just survivable. So don’t feel bad about missing it.
“However, Spitfire, you should have spotted that the altimeter readings were bogus. You’re copilot and sysop. It’s your job to keep feeding the pilot- and us- the data you’re getting. The pilot may not be able to look at the readouts herself. Your lives depend on you giving us that info as it comes in, quick and accurate. But in your audio logs you’re slow.
“I know you’re having trouble with English. I understand. My great-grandmother never learned how to speak it, God rest her soul. But you’re Air Force. You’ve led flyers into danger. You’ve trained new flyers. I know you can put in the work. You can do it.
“Okay,” Martinez said, wrapping up the review, “the good news is, you’ve only died four times out of nineteen sims. You obviously have a solid grasp of the control systems. You’re already better than Mark is at this, probably better than Vogel or Beck either. The bad news is, they’re going to get tougher. We’re going to throw every survivable scenario at you, plus a couple you just can’t win. But only a couple, because impossible sims only make sense in Star Trek. Reset all switches, and contact us when you’re ready to begin the next scenario.
“Standing by for your signal, over.”
Cherry nodded to Spitfire, who began going through the pre-flight checklist to restore all the switches flipped in the last sim. “Thanks for the review, Major,” she said. “I just have two questions. First, you all will be watching us to tell us if something goes wrong, yes? And second, are instrument failures a regular thing for you? Because our instruments on our ships don’t break unless you kick them really hard. We made them changeling-proof. Also dragon-proof. Also yak-resistant. Why don’t humans do the same thing? Over.”
Spitfire paused in resetting switches to raise an eyebrow at Cherry. “Really, commander?” she asked. “This is only ship we get. Telling them it’s not good enough?”
Cherry picked up her own checklist and began resetting switches on her side of the console. “It’s not that,” she said. “The only times we’ve had things break in the capsule or cockpit is if we broke them ourselves, by accident. We’ve never had one just wear out or fail. Never. And I never questioned that until now. Engine failure, yes. Control failure, sure. But never the instruments.” She shuddered and added, “How many times did we get away with a flight that would have killed somebody if one instrument broke?”
The other ponies didn’t answer.
Six minutes later Martinez’s response arrived. “Yes, we’ll be there, but there’s no guarantee we’ll be able to talk to you. If your comms go out, you’re on your own. Better to be ready for that. And instruments don’t break often at all, but there have been times when it’s happened. Again, we want you to be prepared if it happens. Though when this is all over, I want to see one of your consoles full of instruments that never malfunction. Talk about the test-pilot holy grail. Hope that answers your question, over."
Cherry looked at Starlight. “What’s a grail? And why would anyone want one full of holes?”
Starlight shrugged. “I’m not sure,” she said. “All I know is, it has something to do with naming a man after a dog.”
"Stupid human thing," Spitfire muttered.
Was that an Indiana Jones reference?
Four out of nineteen isn't too bad, really? Good job they have lots more practice time before launch day, though
Lovely little Indiana Jones reference.
Changeling-proof label's requirement is survival from direct impact with changeling warrior on transsonic speed.
9184144 To be fair, they've mostly been getting only minor glitches, to make sure they know where all the controls are and how to use them. The weeks of sims in the MDV back at the Hab have paid off, so now things are going to get harder.
9184153 Fair enough, yep, so four out of nineteen will look excellent compared to how bad things are going to get. I do have a lot of sympathy for them having to speak in a foreign language, though, during such a stressful exercise
reminds me of a scene in a TV mini-series "from the earth to the moon", where an astronaut deliberately "crashed so hard he broke the simulator". he explained that he did that to draw attention to the fact that the people running the tests were giving them NOTHING but no-win scenarios-or rather, kept tossing in breakdown after breakdown EVERY time, never ONCE letting them succeed!
Instruments hardly ever fail, but when they do it can lead into a very bad situation. You need to trust your instruments, trust that they are giving you real and correct data because they are providing you the model of the world you're moving through. So when one fails (even temporarily) it can cause weird and unexpected problems. The instruments are giving you bad data, so you correct for that bad data putting yourself in a worse situation and if you can't tell what is going on (and only because you've trained for situations where your getting bad data) you may never be bale to recover the situation.
Love that Indiana Jones reference. Best of the trilogy by far. Yes, TRILOGY. That is not a typo.
I actually just watched that movie today.
"We named the dog 'Indiana'."
"I have some really fond memories of that dog."
9184138
Yes, Short Round, it was.
The reason why Kerbal (or Changeling) Space Program doesn't have instrument failures is because that is really unfun. Gamers dislike interface screw, and doubly so when the interface is already rocket science, literally. But they aren't in the CSP universe anymore.
Apparently Equestrians haven't yet developed an airspeed indicator that uses a pitot tube, or a flier like Cherry would know how instruments that are otherwise operating perfectly can still give incorrect data. And Shhhhhhh! No one tell the Equestrians that the MAV operates on a fly-by-wire system, or better still, just what a fly-by-wire system is!
9184221
"You call him Doctor Jones, doll!"
9184144
Want a free sandwich? I made a batch of nineteen of them and four got cyanide mixed in. Do t remember which ones...
9184333
It only takes one cyanide-laced sandwich or Tylenol® capsule to ruin your whole day...
would love to see what they ment by the holy cup things when they see it and all the other things they think was dumb but turn out to be smart at times
9184147
This is amusing, because early in Changeling Space Program, they did indeed try the peasant railgun as a way to fling a changeling into space.
TA-TADA-TAAAH
TA-TADAAAH
TA-TADA-TAAAH
TA-TADAAAH-TAAAH-TAAAH!
9184182
I shoot people that even contemplate the existence of... that particular one.
9184362
IKR
Changeling-proof is highest grade of structural robustness and general resistance to damage.
9184402
Wait - They made a third one?
Took me a moment to get the reference. Laughed heartily, proceeded to load up the movie to watch again.
9184301
So.... What is a fly-by-wire system? And more importantly, why would it be a bad idea to tell the Equestrians?
9184402
Man, that fourth movie was pretty good. They really outdid themselves. They topped the previous three.
9184434
A fly by wire system means that rather than you controls directly controlling the different parts of your craft, your inputs are converted into electrical signals that are sent to a computer, which then decides how to adjust your flaps, engines, maneuvering thrusters, etc, in order to get the desired outcome. These systems are far superior in terms of performance to manual control systems, but it opens you up to the wide wide world of software glitches effecting performance. As for not telling the equestrians, not quite sure what they meant by that, but I'm guessing learning that they're not really in control of the craft (at least in the sense they know it) would be pretty frightening, I guess?
9184434
TL;DR a fly-by-wire system (FBW) converts flight control inputs into an electrical signal which is then transmitted through wires (hence the name). A flight computer is used to determine just how to move the control surface actuators to achieve the pilot's ordered response. Incidentally, this is also what allows the Flight Director to be a thing, as it is what enables the computer itself to perform maneuvers...
9184402
I mean... the fourth one was a good movie, but not a good INDIANA JONES movie... I honest to god think that's an important distinction to make in relation to that particular film
9184147
I think that reflects the main difference between Equus and Earth: ponies aren't still used to think in terms of "shit will happen" or "no such thing as a foolproof thing".
9184502
I think it's simply the fact that Equestrians overengineer _everything_. There is no 'good enough', no safety glass on a spacesuit visor, no subcontractor cutting costs, none of that. Early on Mark noted that even their ship's superstructure was overbuilt for durability, the main reason (besides it's pilot) for why it and the crew survived the landing. Also they might or might not have better tools for maintentance/quality control. The combination of earth pony and unicorn magic beats any human-built scanner any day by precision or versatility.
Besides, changelings do indeed provide a very effective natural method of stress-testing everything. 'Changeling-proof' isn't humor; it's nessesity.
9184468
What I was implying was that (one of) the most experienced Equestrian astronauts (equinauts?) just had a profound epiphany about the true fragility of even the best designed, engineered, and constructed spacecraft (and, to a lesser extent, aircraft in general); that even a simple instrument malfunction or misinterpretation can lead to a tragic failure chain in seconds (or less!) because of the magnitudes of the forces and energy spacecraft generate or encounter that need to be precisely controlled or managed. Do you really want to tell Cherry right now that:
9184584
Do you want the original, or the remake?
9184343
It’s magically delicious!
I like the idea that they can make their stuff changling and dragon proof, but only yak resistant.
Yes, contingency planning for everything is a must.
I'll admit, it took me a while to get the "dog" reference.
9184301
Magic instruments might be easier and lighter for them? No reason to design a gyroscope or pitot-static system if you’ve already got something that can do the job better.
9184662
CSP uses mechanical instruments. At least initially.
9184616
Yeah, got me stuck laughing for half a minute.
9184679
True... maybe they just got lucky that noling in the VAB ever thought to goo over a static port.
9184333
Well, if my other choice was starving to death...
Okay... I read all, in about a week... and, well... waiting for more.
One question comes to my mind, as "from tv shows": how come none of the ponies had some urges, like, you know, "fuck me now"? I'm not saying about showing this as sex scene, just talking about it...
9184647
Pray tell?
9184788
A joke about Indiana Jones' name. Other comments explained it.
The ponies reaction to Apollo 13 will be hilarious.
Instrument malfunctions get even worse when you realise that in aircraft flight instruments, one TLOA was deemed to have occured due to the single gyroscope error feedback signal wire suffering fracture at teh clister interface and so undergoing variable frequency intermittant disconnection, changine the signal the instruments saw relatve to the signal the sensor was sending back. The humans and computer then see this errernous error signal and try to compensate, therby putting the correct error signal into a highly errornous state. They had a Very Bad Day.
These collisions between KSP game design and reality always get a smile out of me, even with the grim undertones here. A shame they can't just splice the instruments from the Amicitas into the MAV.
And there is no such thing as yak-proof.
9184458
ponythinktank.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/hate-and-anger.jpg?w=809&h=455
9184873
I do kinda wish Kris had made Equestria Kerbin-sized, since the pony engine stats are directly frim KSP... and that just doesn't cut it for an Earth-sized planet. Load up Real Solar System with stock parts and you CAN get to orbit, but it basically takes a Saturn V scale craft just to do that much!
9184576 The first two are not news to Cherry, in that every Equestrian rocket (that didn't come in a cardboard box with words like WHIZZBANG or KIRIN CHASER or the like) has a non-mechanical link between controls and control systems. The main difference is that they began flying before computers, and they are only reluctantly allowing computers to control themselves on unmared flights.
She wouldn't be at all happy if someone put it to her, in so many words, that a machine gets the last word as to whether she and her friends live or die.
9184616 Well, you see, yaks do it deliberately. You just can't guarantee against that.
9184153
Love that line.