Crystal Pony
Admiral Biscuit
I'd inadvertently picked a really good hotel—not in terms of its accouterments, but rather its location. Being fairly close to the Manehattan train station meant that I could do lots of ponywatching out my window when I was in my room, and the bar constantly had new ponies coming and going.
Although it did feel kind of like cheating to meet ponies in a bar, and I made a note to myself to explore a little bit more going forward.
Most of the seats were already taken, although there were a few tables near the back that were fairly unoccupied, so after I'd gotten my drink I walked over to one that had a cluster of mares on one side of it and open seats on the other. I thought that since there was a group of them, they wouldn't be intimidated by me.
Indeed, that turned out to be the case. The four of them, I found out, were cheese-makers from Landias, and had come in the hopes of getting export contracts at some of the fancier restaurants in Manehattan. They called their cheese Chabichou, and one of them had a sample that she let me try.
It smelled vaguely like goat, but after I'd gotten over that, it was pretty smooth, and it paired well with the white wine that they were drinking.
We talked for a little bit about exotic or unusual foods on Earth and Equestria, and they complained about the difficulties in opening new markets, and we might have continued in that vein if another pony hadn't entered the bar and sat down near our table.
I didn't notice him right away—I was caught up talking with Bonne Bouche—but eventually it made it through my thick skull that the other three sisters were all looking in his direction while trying to pretend like they weren't.
So of course that got my interest.
He was a crystal pony, and it was true what I'd heard about them: you could see right through him. Not completely clearly; he wasn't entirely transparent, but I think that was more a case of his coloration than anything.
Since it was rude to stare, I kind of gave him a few sideways looks and at the same time tried to focus my attention on my companions, which turned out to be a nearly impossible task, since they too were distracted by him.
It wasn't too long after that my four new friends had to leave—they said that they had an evening gala to attend, although before they left, they insisted on taking a picture with me. Luckily, their camera had a self-timer, and with a bit of fiddling, they managed to balance it on a pair of wine glasses.
After they'd departed, I moved over to the crystal pony's table, ostensibly to free up the larger table I'd been at for other ponies, although the truth was I just wanted a closer look at him, and what better way than to be sitting right across from him?
He was probably curious about me, as well, because he had kept shooting surreptitious glances in my direction after my companions had left.
Most transparent animals are only mostly transparent—you can see internal organs or bones or something—but not in his case. I had to assume that he had bones and nerves and organs inside him, but those were as transparent as the rest of his body.
He introduced himself as Neighls Bohr, and insisted that I should try a small glass of crystalberry gin, which he said was a favorite of crystal ponies.
It had a gin-like taste, which I could have done without, but it also had the curious property that it stayed cold despite the temperature of the bar, and I ultimately wound up purchasing a bottle of it to experiment with in my hotel room. Neighls didn't know why it was like that, but said that that was how you could tell the fake stuff apart from the real thing.
Interestingly, after I drank it it did warm up, I think. I imagined that if it stayed cold, I would feel it in my stomach, but I resolved to get a small ice cube and verify that theory when I had a chance.
I hadn't known why he'd wanted a table to himself until his dinner arrived, and then once I saw it, I couldn't unsee it. The gin was clear, but his hayburger wasn't, and it was like he was chewing with his mouth open only more so: I could see the food being masticated inside his mouth, even though I couldn't see any teeth. And then the bolus of food traveled down his neck and I started to wonder if he'd been starving before he came to the bar, because I started to think about what else I ought to be able to see.
Of course, he noticed my look, and he somehow blushed—another thing I couldn't even begin to understand.
“It's why I picked a table by myself,” he admitted. “I'm sorry.”
I assured him that I wasn't all that bothered by it, which was only half a lie. It was equal parts disgust and wonder, to be perfectly honest.
We didn't talk while he was eating, and I managed to make the observation that somewhere around his chest, the food began to fade out and by the time it got to where I assumed his stomach probably was, it had completely vanished.
I was completely boggled by this, and since it seemed to be happening more quickly than his body could actually break down the food and digest it, it must have had something to do with his nature, that whatever made him transparent did the same to his food.
It wasn't until I was back at my hotel later that night that I started to wonder what happened at the other end of the process.
Oh yeah, I bought a couple bottles of that gin a couple years back. Packed 'em around a stirling engine, haven't paid my electric bill since.
"And last but not least, please watch your step while walking around the Crystal Empire. Some of the foals are not toilet trained."
8616236
I was thinking of a Crystal Empire nursury...aside from smell, how would you know who had a loaded diaper?
8616249 Fortunately, ponies are good at smelling.
Lensing seems more likely than actual transparency for crystal ponies, though I wouldn't be surprised if Sombra enslaved them just to turn up the opacity.
"Ugh, you're all disgusting. That does it, if I can't teach you proper table manners, I'm taking matters into my own hooves."
Wasnt there a TV show, episode, where they made a car in a forest dissapear by sticking large mirrors all over it, so that you were looking at reflections of trees and due to fractal, self similarity nature of nature, one direction of forest looks approximately like any other direction, and so the non natural object wasnt there?
Otherwise breeding would be really offputting for many participants?
You know, after the last time with Crop Duster, you'd learn your lesson.
accoutrements
Wait, they're all sisters? You didn't say that before.
Niels Bohr shoes up and he's not drinking Akvavit? For shame.
I have so many questions. Didn't you have to be happy and hopeful to become and to stay crystalized? Does that mean that the by-products have hopes and dreams? What happens to a crystal pony and all the stuff they leave around if they become singularly un-attuned to the crystal heart. Is being a jerk to a suspect to see if the evidence gathered on the scene of crime changes with them a valid investigative technique used by beat cops not playing by the rules?
I imagine that it's an enchantment the body naturally applies to everything inside it, so just as it takes some time to take effect for new input, it takes some time to wear off for... output.
Depending on just how invisible it is and how much time it takes to wear off, that might allow crystal ponies to play some hilarious scatological pranks.
(And on that note, with the last chapter and this one, I'm starting to see a pattern. )
8616203
Honestly, some of the implications of pony magic. . . .
8616297
For better or worse. . . .
8616364
I suppose it's possible. All I know is that it seems that we can see things 'through' them, and that's canon.
Which, in bitter irony, wound up making Sombra himself kinda smokey.
8616395
I don't know about a car, but I've heard of people using the same idea for deer blinds. And if you used one-way glass, you'd potentially have a complete field of vision, while remaining entirely hidden from the deer (except for smell, of course).
The downside of that has to do with the parable of glass houses, I suppose.
Well, if you were used to it . . . plus, I think some people/ponies would probably be turned on by that.
8616491
So now we're to the point where he should always carry an umbrella and move around with a kind of kicking motion, just in case.
8616580
Oops! Correction made; thank you!
I must have forgot.
8616790
I legit didn't know that was a thing until just now.
I don't know how I feel about dill-flavored alcohol, but then it can't be stranger than gin.
8616818
I'm not sure. Potentially, that's the case. It does seem (from the episodes I've seen/can remember) to be a sometimes thing, and in some cases, effects anypony in the Crystal Empire. The effects may last longer for crystal ponies than non-crystal ponies, though. How often is Cadance crystally?
Does poop in general have hopes and dreams? I think that once something leaves the body, it has no more agency, but that's more of a question for a philosopher.
That I don't know either. It seems that their clothing doesn't become crystally, at least assuming that it isn't clothing made out of crystal material.
Maybe, although in some ways it seems kind of un-pony to be a jerk to a suspect.
8616941
Well, I mean, the Wonderbolts do make those smokey contrails somehow...
8616825
That's my thought. I mean, it makes sense, right?
Heck, never mind pranks, imagine being a crystal plumber. "Well, give me a couple of hours and I can find the blockage. Until then, though. . . .
It's totally unintentional.
Seriously, it wasn't until I was near the end of the chapter that I started wondering what the implications of having their food turn invisible might be.
8616960
They do, and we don't have good canon evidence about where they come from. Or Rainbow's rainbow contrail, for that matter.
8616954
I will admit that it's an acquired taste.
8616997
If I can find some, I'm willing to try it. I'm not opposed to the idea of the flavor, it just sounds weird.
8616957
Well, I'm talking about the detective burnt out by all the things they have seen. The kind who drink their coffee without sugar, chew sweet-root and who buy only three tickets at the department raffle. They don't like it, but to close a case they will stomp a hoof on the table and frown. Hard.
8617050
Okay, that does sound more pony now. Especially only buying three tickets.
8616952
8617050
I now want him to meet this pony... Maybe a case of mistaken identity?
"I'm so truly sorry, but all you humans look alike."
Nah, you could do better.
So... how precisely is this person... surprised that gin tastes like gin?
8617129
I could do that. I could see a pony getting confused if there are a lot of people that look pretty much the same.
8617248
He's not so much surprised as disappointed.
Technically, if crystalberries aren't a variety of juniper, it's not really gin, I think.
8620148
Ah. It's one of them jokes you'll only get if you actually know stuff. Gotcha.
8620146
Well, yeah!
No cutie mark, their "mane's" are only like 5 colours and they all wear stuff to disguise their scents.
Totally an honest mistake for a loose cannon cop to make, especially when they're only 2 days from retiring due to that leg injury. (Loose cannon sounds like a pretty bad leg injury after all)
8620281
Not to mention a severe lack of skin color variety.
8616999
The flavor of dill seeds is a lot like caraway, if that helps.
For the longest time, I thought that's what rye bread tasted like, because the stuff I'd tried had caraway seeds baked in.
Later thought, regarding the species of feces: They might be transparent, but maybe not entirely invisible.
So, maybe the risk is not quite so great...
8623543
Thought you'd appreciate that. The second I called them a loose cannon it clicked that cannon is a body part on a pony and I HAD to go there.
8623578
It could ENCOURAGE the invention and spread of bathrooms. Hell, pre-banishment Crystal Empire could have been the leader in sanitation when before it vanished.
8623578
I know what they taste like, I just have a hard time imagining how that'd taste good in alcohol.
I don't think that I've ever had rye with caraway seeds in it, but I have had bread with dill in it. Also butter with dill.
Well, if you know to watch out for the kind of blurry spots on the ground, you'd probably be okay. If it wasn't the middle of the day, or there was a confusing/nondescript ground, though, you might have trouble seeing them in time to avoid stepping in them.
8623731
That could, yeah.
It's also possible that cities like Cloudsdale had to figure something out--nopony on the ground would be too happy if you just let the sewage rain down from the clouds, so they'd have to have some way to store it and dump it out later.
8625013
probably over earth pony fields in the middle of the night
8625128
I dunno if you'd want to drop it directly on the fields, but they could certainly arrange for a clear space for it to be dumped, where the nightsoil ponies could work it in with the stuff that they have.
8625013 Thats the reason why pegasus foals learn "Don't eat the yellow clouds!"
8725369
Or the green ones.
When we went to the Grand Canyon, it was wintertime, and a lot of the snow on the trail down into the canyon was green, from all the mules.
8623731
8625013
How would they deal with ponies that defecate upwards of 18 times a day? (yes, I read that story)
8742653
Very robust plumbing.
Not to mention other byproducts and expelling materials...
8776238
Yes, which has to make certain things in the Crystal Empire . . . interesting.
This reminds me of the ghouls from Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser.
Also, aquavit is delicious, my favorite is Linie.
8800441
Hmm, I've never heard of that. Sounds interesting! I'll have to check out one of the books.
I wonder if I can get that anywhere around here? Maybe Lansing or Ann Arbor would have it.
Tiffany's in Kalamazoo probably would, but that's somewhat out of the way.
Invisible Crystal Pony poop.... talk about a mine field.
8809870
It's a real danger, and that's a fact.