You Woke Up Next To A Freak.

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Comments ( 12 )

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Tgro97

Tgro97 #1 · Oct 18th, 2017 · 2 · ·

Huh, grammar was good, story flowed neatly, hint of a sequel. Why does this not have a few likes?

Fallen Angel N

Fallen Angel N #2 · Oct 18th, 2017 · 2 · ·

You gotta be careful when using the "you" pronoun. Using that word makes the reader think of themselves when the character is mentioned. And they better like what they're being put in or portrayed as or you're out of luck. I'm guessing most people reading this won't be masochists, and this story wasn't really that funny. I think you should add more humor to this story. And maybe work up to the whole Rarity dominatrix a bit more. You don't have to get to this part immediately. Rarity is a popular character, so she should act a bit more like herself and get the audience more comfortable with your Rarity before you get to that part.

~Good luck

LittleBitaMagic

LittleBitaMagic #3 · Oct 18th, 2017 · · ·

8495445

Well I'm limiting myself to like 1.5 ishk words for this series, supposed to be a quick morning one shots.

That and it is rated M, also I did add in the description all the kinks in it, so if they do read and are like "Well golly that came out of nowhere!" Then they might be a bit blind or drunk like me.

I also wasn't going for Ha-ha funny more of a cringe funny. But hay! I'm also one of the dryest peole on earth, so comedy might escape me forever!

~Falls onto a fainting couch.~

This series will be from all walks of life, Fluttershy's was more of a drama, Rarity got Kinks, My next Aj Is more of the comedy you might be searching for. More like the stuff you'd find in a E rated story.

But thank you for the input! I wrote this baby a bit buzzed last night, but i stand beside it! Like a mother who just saw her child ruin the school play by forgetting all her lines and then wetting herself!- My gawd I'll still stand up and say!

"Yes! I created that child who just scorned the world! and i'm proud of it!"