After graduating first in his class at a hair styling academy, Zephyr Breeze is more confident than ever that he can win over Rainbow Dash. Can her human friend help her find a solution to get the message across to the stubborn stallion?
7985715 Thanks for the catch! I do all my own editing so I appreciate any critiques.
7986444 Yeah I remember someone suggesting that I upload it here a while ago. It just took me a long time to find the motivation to reformat a small novel's worth of words.
The rainbow pegasus stares up at you in surprise with her jaw slightly agape, the blonde one does the same. You become distinctly aware that the only reason you’re alive right now is because you have a witness. Her mind churns to find an explanation that would both sound realistic and preserve her reputation.
If I were him, I would've quickly made a response to fix my own error, to save both of our reputations.
For instance, I'd quickly add, "By the way, thanks again for letting me use your washer and dryer! I'm still not sure what's going on with my own, though... might get Twilight to look into it later on today." and roll my hand around to silently say "Just roll with it, and please don't kill me after this."
Anyways, loving it so far! Not every day I see stories that involve "Competition" without stretching to bizarre levels... though as it's only Chapter 1, I'll keep the fact that I'm still "Very Early" in it to mind.
Also, that sounds like something that I could see Ian doing. Especially since, you know, he actually has a visor. The kind that is kind of like glasses but is just one piece. More specifically the kind that gives you tons (not toms) of information and can let you see in infrared, x-ray, ultraviolet, etc.
More
I like this
Methinks the rest of that sentence disappeared into the void between Zephyr Breeze's ears.
Other than that and maybe one other thing, it's not bad. Might track this one to see where it goes.
Nice to see you post it here as well.
Ignore the instant dislikes anything with the human tag gets btw. Misanthropy everywhere.
Aw.
~Dollars
7985715 Thanks for the catch! I do all my own editing so I appreciate any critiques.
7986444 Yeah I remember someone suggesting that I upload it here a while ago. It just took me a long time to find the motivation to reformat a small novel's worth of words.
My interest has been piqued. Added to tracking.
If I were him, I would've quickly made a response to fix my own error, to save both of our reputations.
For instance, I'd quickly add, "By the way, thanks again for letting me use your washer and dryer! I'm still not sure what's going on with my own, though... might get Twilight to look into it later on today." and roll my hand around to silently say "Just roll with it, and please don't kill me after this."
Anyways, loving it so far! Not every day I see stories that involve "Competition" without stretching to bizarre levels... though as it's only Chapter 1, I'll keep the fact that I'm still "Very Early" in it to mind.
The real question is how did he get up to her floating cloud house to leave his clothes there.
The obvious answer is that he's a witch!
8815803
“Hes a witch!”
“Burn him”
“He turned me into a newt!”
*lifts visor*
“A newt?”
“.....well i got better.....”
Random slash at the beginning of that sentence. Other than that, I'm intrigued. I'll keep on reading.
images.i.thechive.com/__4579665d973eeb02619cda75d880cf48_width-600.jpeg
Over short distances, sure. Challenge her to a 10k. You’ll be jogging along pretty as a picture while she’s lathered and puffing her lungs out.
8870404
Visor? Uhhh...
Also, that sounds like something that I could see Ian doing. Especially since, you know, he actually has a visor. The kind that is kind of like glasses but is just one piece. More specifically the kind that gives you tons (not toms) of information and can let you see in infrared, x-ray, ultraviolet, etc.
RD in a single sentence, man. ;]
8870404
lets see if he floats