“Cleansweep, honey, if you could just have your, er, ‘spirit animal’ move away from you, that would be best, alright?”
Sighing at the transparent anxiety in her mother’s voice, as well as the crowd that her hysterics had drawn, Cleansweep shook her head. “Mom, will you please calm down? There’s nothing to be afraid of. Tell her, Venin!” She gave the red-and-yellow serpent a hopeful look. Once her mom heard that Venin could talk – even if it was in that same weird “mind-to-mind” way Severance had – she’d realize that this wasn’t just an ordinary snake and maybe then she’d stop being so afr-
She can’t hear me, Cleansweep.
That hadn’t been the answer she’d expected. “Huh? How come?”
The Supreme Predator created me by drawing upon your own essence, explained Venin. Her power is a fundamental part of what I am, and it sustains our connection, allowing our hearts to communicate with each other. While our bond will resonate with those who likewise make use of her power, those who do not cannot perceive our discourse. The snake bobbed its head in what Cleansweep somehow knew was a sorrowful gesture. I’m sorry. I know that isn’t what you wanted to hear. I hope this doesn’t cause you distress.
Despite the discouraging news, Cleansweep couldn’t help but smile at Venin’s apology. The snake’s mental voice was soft-spoken and overflowing with gentleness, making it impossible for her to stay upset. “Aw, don’t worry about it,” she replied soothingly, reaching up to gently rub Venin’s scales. “We’ll just figure something else out.”
“Cleansweep!” A few feet away, Feather Duster was still having a nervous breakdown. “Sweetheart, please, get away from the snake!”
Stomping a hoof, Cleansweep flared her wings as she glared at her mother. “Mom, will you knock it off already?! You’re going to hurt her feelings!”
She was going to say more, but a sudden tickling inside her ear made her squeal with laughter, realizing a moment later that she was feeling Venin’s tongue darting over her skin. It only lasted for a few seconds, but when it ended Cleansweep was still giggling. You’re kind to worry about me, but I’m alright, Venin assured her. The rest of our nest will be here soon, but until they arrive, I don’t think yelling is the best way to calm your progenitor down, she noted softly.
Still snickering a little, Cleansweep nodded. “Alright. Point taken.” Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she took a moment to relax before looking at her mother again. “Mom, I need you to trust me, okay? Venin isn’t going to hurt me, or anypony else. She’s really nice.”
But she could already see that she wasn’t getting through to her. It was written all over her mother’s face, the way she was still wide-eyed and breathing quickly, her gaze darting back and forth between her and Venin. It was just like every time she’d gotten into trouble with Crunchy; even if it was just them getting a few bruises or scrapes her mother had always acted like she had narrowly escaped death, and it had always led to days of well-intentioned smothering that invariably drove her crazy. And she wonders why I keep hanging out with Crunchy all the time, she thought sourly, the calm that Venin had given her already crumbling. At least he knows how to have fun!
“Sweetheart, please! You have to let me protect you!” As if trying to physically make herself clear, Feather Duster held out a foreleg, almost sobbing now. “We already lost each other once when we were trying to get out of the city and now I can’t find your father anywhere; you’re all I have left! I can…” For some reason, her eyes darted toward the train station for a split-second. “I can bear whatever I have to, so long as you’re safe, but you can’t keep doing this! You can’t keep putting yourself in danger just for fun! One of these days your luck is going to run out and then…then you’ll…” She couldn’t finish, tears running down her cheeks as she collapsed, her strength leaving her as she put her hooves to her face and began to weep.
Taken aback by her mother’s outpouring, Cleansweep bit her lip, looking around self-consciously. Several ponies in the crowd noticed and looked away politely, while others appeared to decide that this was nothing more than a family drama, starting to leave and ushering others to do the same (save for a single mare who hung back, watching the proceedings through narrowed eyes). Murmurings of “poor mare” and “I know how she feels” floated out from the assembled ponies as the crowd began to break up, making Cleansweep wince.
This is my fault. Venin’s voice was thick with guilt, and Cleansweep felt the snake uncoil from around her middle, winding down one of her back legs until it reached the ground, slithering a few feet away from her. My presence here is causing her pain in her heart.
“No,” admitted Cleansweep, folding her ears back. “You didn’t do this. I did.” Pursing her lips, she thought back to what she and Venin had been discussing before her mother had woken up, about what role the Night Mare had recognized her for. “If I’m going to be a healer, then I need to start here, with my mom.” Her mind made up, Cleansweep gave Venin an apologetic look. “Do you mind hanging back for a minute?”
Of course not. Take as much time as you need. I’ll be right here.
“Thanks.” Knowing what she had to do, Cleansweep stepped forward slowly, until she was right in front of her mother. “Mom? Mom, I’m sorry.” Reached out, she gently touched a hoof to her mother’s head.
Looking up at the touch, Feather Duster’s eyes widened with relief, and she sprang up to pull her daughter into a bear hug. “My baby!” she cried. “Oh my precious, precious little girl! Are you alright? Did that thing bite you anywhere?” Lifting Cleansweep up bodily, she turned her over, inspecting her for puncture marks.
Frowning, Cleansweep flapped her wings hard, yanking herself out of her mother’s grasp before touching back down in front of her. “No, Mom. She didn’t. I told you, Venin won’t hurt me.”
Calmer now, Feather Duster wiped her eyes. “I know, sweetheart. But it’s still a wild animal. Just the thought-”
“Mom! Listen to me!” Cleansweep could feel her guilt evaporating. This was what always happened; her mother would go to pieces, she would try to calm her down, and doing so would require her to sit back and let her mother fret over her until it became unbearable. Not this time, Cleansweep vowed silently. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “I never meant to worry you, and I hate seeing you so upset.” Stepping forward, she reached up and gently took her mother’s face in her hooves, forcing herself to smile. “But I need you to believe me when I tell you that I’m going to be okay.”
“You don’t know that, sweetheart,” whimpered Feather Duster.
“Yes I do,” insisted Cleansweep, filling her voice with conviction. “Did I ever get seriously hurt when I was playing with Crunchy? I don’t mean cuts and bruises, but hurt badly enough that I needed a doctor?”
Lifting her head from her daughter’s grasp, Feather Duster couldn’t help but look uncertain for a moment. “Well, no, but you could h-”
“And even when the city flooded and everything went crazy, I’ve been fine.” Hovering in mid-air, she turned upright and indicated her unblemished torso with her hooves. “See?” Dropping back down, she beamed at her mother. “Not so much as a scratch.”
“That doesn’t mean you won’t-”
“And now with Venin,” interrupted Cleansweep again. Glancing back at the snake, she tilted her head. Catching the signal, the red-and-yellow serpent slithered over to her, easily winding its way up her leg and around her torso, head leaning forward alongside her own. Feather Duster immediately recoiled, but Cleansweep didn’t let her get away, moving forward until she was barely an inch away from her mother. “See? She’s really friendly.”
“B-but-, but-”
“C’mon, just try patting her.” In demonstration, she rubbed Venin’s scales, giving her mother an encouraging look when nothing bad happened.
Hesitating, Feather Duster swallowed before slowly reaching forward, grimacing as her hoof barely brushed up against the serpent. But when several seconds passed and nothing happened, she slowly started to relax. “I…I guess she’s friendly…”
“There you go!” cheered Cleansweep, grinning toothily. “I knew you’d like her if you just gave her a chance!”
“I suppose I might have overreacted a little.”
After spending a minute patting her daughter’s pet snake, Feather Duster stepped back. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I know I worry over you more than I should, but sometimes I can’t help it. Your father was always-, has always loved trying new things, and you have that same spirit.” She winced internally at the slip, hoping her daughter hadn’t noticed. Unlike herself, Cleansweep was certain that her father, Tryout, had gotten out of the city and would be back very soon. “He got hurt plenty of times when he’d try some new stunt like typhoon waterskiing or blindfolded parkour or full-contact checkers.” The memories still made her blush a little. Tryout’s fearlessness, and his nonchalance about the injuries he sustained in pursuit of his next adrenaline rush, had always been what she’d found most attractive about him. But those same qualities in her daughter terrified her. “I just don’t want that to happen to you.”
The smile Cleansweep gave her then looked almost exactly like the one Tryout had always given her when she’d expressed worry, being warm, self-assured, and just a little bit cocky. “I know, but I’ll be okay. And I’m not just saying that either. Thanks to Venin, I have magic healing powers now.”
Feather Duster blinked. Tryout had never said that. “Magic healing powers?”
“Yup!” nodded Cleansweep, clearly thrilled by the prospect. “It’s not much now, but she says that I’ll get better at it with practice-”
“Then we should hurry up and get some, shouldn’t we?”
Cleansweep spun around at the familiar voice. “Crunchy!”
About twenty feet back from her, Fruit Crunch grinned, though whether it was because he was happy to see her or because of the large grey wolf perched right next to him was hard to tell. Nor was he alone. At his left stood Fiddlesticks, her baby brother asleep on her back and a large badger next to her. On his right was Feathercap, a large owl blinking at her from where it was perched on his back. And hovering in the air was Straightlace, an eagle sitting on one outstretched foreleg. “C’mon Dust Bunny! The new and improved Night Mare’s Knights are ready to go!”
“Woo hoo!” Punching a hoof in the air, Cleansweep gave her mother another broad smile. “That’s another reason you don’t have to worry about me, Mom. I’ve got really great friends!” Darting over, she planted a quick kiss on her mother’s cheek before turning and rushing toward the other foals. “You guys! Let me introduce you to Venin!”
Smiling a little as she watched her daughter run off to go play with her friends, Feather Duster couldn’t help but feel bittersweet about what had just happened. She’s growing up.
But her parental musing was cut short as she felt a hoof across her back. “If you’re quite finished with your sappy little display,” sneered a familiar voice, “you have work to do.”
Feather Duster tensed up in an instant. “M-Miss?!”
“You better have a good explanation for why you’re fooling around out here and not fawning over Lex,” frowned River Bank. Her eyes then traveled over her, her expression critical, before glancing at the horizon in consideration, eventually giving a perfunctory nod. “And you can give it while we go back to my manor and freshen you up. The way you look right now would send any stallion running for the hills. Honestly!”
Hanging her head, Feather Duster didn’t argue, remembering what she’d just said about being able to endure what she had to for the sake of her daughter. “Yes Miss…”
“So I’ll go first,” grinned Fruit Crunch as he led them in the direction of Severance. “This is Lyden,” he gestured to the wolf walking alongside him, “and he’s unbelievably awesome! He says that no one who doesn’t follow the Night Mare can overhear him when he talks, which he does with telepathy, and-”
You should tell them that my name means “pack leader,” noted Lyden. Also, we should make sure to learn everyone’s powers as quickly as possible so that we can begin coordination training. The sooner we do, the quicker we’ll be able to impress the High Alpha.
Cleansweep tilted her head. “Who?”
The Lord Sovereign, added Venin helpfully.
“They mean Lex,” volunteered Feathercap. “At least, I think they do. Ulespy calls him Grand Vizier, for some reason.”
Because he is the one who wields unparalleled temporal authority over this sphere of existence, as nominated by the Supreme Predator herself, answered the owl.
“Huh. Altaer calls him the First Convoker,” added Straightlace. “But he still calls the Night Mare the Supreme Predator.”
Rightly so, as it honors their status, added the eagle.
“That’s basically what Nemel said when I asked her,” added Fiddlesticks with a glance at the badger trundling next to her. “But she calls Lex ‘Exalted Primogenitor.’ It’s kind of a mouthful.”
Be that as it may, chuckled Nemel, he is the one who made it possible for us to exist in this world by bringing the Supreme Predator here. He deserves our respect.
“Which is why we’re going to work hard and show him that we can be useful,” finished Fruit Crunch as Severance came into view. “Now, let’s start by going over everypony’s powers.”
Family gathering!
loved this chapter <3
Clearly each animal absorbed a different thesaurus.
What I wonder, for a group that is so much about hierarchy, how long before each animal starts telling their master they need to establish dominance over the others in the group?
looking amassing.
That thesaurus was so big they couldve choked on it.
Then it wouldve been a Bronchiothesaurus?
Tryout sounds like he'd be good friends with Twilight Velvet with his love of trying out extreme sports/activity. Wonder if there's a club for that in Equestria.
And Cleansweep finally gets through to her mother and all it took was petting a magic snake...ponies are weird but I can't argue with the results. Now if Feather Duster can comprehend that Lex doesn't want her that way(or any other way since his girls were the ones that voted her in), things will be peachy.
Well, provided Celestia's vision with Lex doesn't come true the way Luna believes it will. I'm still thinking that Silhouette is at the heart of the situation but I doubt Lex is blameless either.
9534083 Well, I don't know that the Knights have grown that close yet, but give them time.
9534124 Thanks!
If you don't mind my asking, what did you enjoy? Knowing helps me take that into account in future chapters.
9534142 The animals having different titles for Lex gets back into what I mentioned to Not so New Brony previously. To expound on that, this was a stylistic choice I made (inspired by an old D&D novel) which I thought was a fun/interesting way to indicate a subtle difference in how the Knights' animal compatriots viewed certain things. That is, while they all recognize their bonded companion by name – since they're ultimately still a part of them – they view everyone else in terms of roles, functions, or archetypes. So to them, the Night Mare is "the Supreme Predator" because that title describes her.
That they all used a different title for Lex was supposed to put a bit of a spin on that. The idea was that they each saw him in terms of "foremost among [their animal type's] organizational structure." So the wolf refers to him as "High Alpha" because that indicates that he's foremost among alpha wolves. Eagles organize in convocations, so Lex is the "First Convoker" to Altaer. Some problems were that some of those animals aren't social by nature, or their organization isn't one that lent itself to very good nomenclature in that regard. A group of owls, for example, is a "parliament," but calling Lex "Prime Minister" would have been awkward. So I had Ulespy refer to him as "Grand Vizier" because that title suggests wisdom (a trait commonly ascribed to owls) within the context of still having someone above him (i.e. the Night Mare). By the by, the reason that they all had the same title for the Night Mare instead of disparate ones was meant to be indicative of the fact that, as a god, her existence is so substantial that it overwhelms any attempt to categorize her in the animals' own terms: as the Supreme Predator, she is absolute.
Another extremely subtle hint (and in this case, I think it was so subtle as to be invisible to everyone besides me) was in the animals' names, which are all essentially drawn from (for the most part) two terms that 1) describe the animal themselves, and 2) reference the archetypes that they fulfill (which the Night Mare mentioned when she drew them forth in Chapter 332):
Venin: As I mentioned before, "venin" is a derivative of "antivenin," which is a term for an antitoxin that's usually used with regards to snake venom. Removing the "anti-" part left us with a word that essentially just meant "venom," but carried connotations of both "serpent" and "medicinal use," since you don't usually hear that term used otherwise. To that end, her name is meant to be indicative of "healing serpent."
Altaer: This was one I struggled with. I said previously that "Altair" was Arabic for "the eagle" (al ta'ir), but that I also wanted to blend in a term for "nobility" or "righteousness." In the end, I cheated a little, and changed the last three letters of "Altair" from "air" to "aer" (which is just the Greek word for "air"). So it could be read as "air eagle," which is redundant. The impression I wanted to give with "aer" was "above (it all)," i.e. being too elevated for problems/enemies to reach. In that regard, it was meant to convey "majestic eagle."
Ulespy: This was more straightforward. Ule is Old/Middle English (of Germanic descent) for "owl," which was simple enough, and "espy" is an English word for "to catch sight of," being from the same root as "spy." So it essentially means "watching owl."
Nemel: The last three letters came easily for this one, as meles is simply Latin for "badger." But I also wanted it to indicate "nurturing," and that was much harder! Every root word was still too obvious (e.g. "nutrio"), so I eventually had to go back to root origins that weren't certain, specifically neh of Proto-Indo-European, which means "to flow" (meant to be associated with the flow of mother's milk, hence terms like "nutrition" and "nurture"). So I put that in front to get "nurturing badger."
Lyden: The challenge for a wolf is that most people know the root words for them. The Greek lykos is easily recognizable, as is the Latin lupus and the Old English wulf. Eventually I decided to just keep the Greek root's ly and swap it in for the first two letters of the Middle English leden ("to lead"). That gave me "wolf leader."
Ultimately, this is the sort of thing that I like to think of as being hints regarding their natures (or at least, reinforcing what the Night Mare said about them), but probably wasn't anything that anyone else would have picked up on.
As for whether or not they'll engage in some sort of power struggle...well, I don't think that's necessarily a foregone conclusion. As the Night Mare noted, none of them (the Knights) are leadership material, at least as she sees leadership. They might have rankings in and amongst themselves, but at the end of the day their animals all recognize that Lex, for instance, is above them.
9534197 Thanks!
9534378 It would be brought down by velociraptomes.
9534414 If there was a waterfall in one of the nearby mountains (which isn't impossible, given how they're the source of the river that feeds into the bay) then I'm sure Tryout went over it in a barrel at some point. Clearly, opposites attracted where he and Feather Duster were concerned. Unfortunately, while Feather Duster had a breakthrough in her relationship with her daughter, I suspect it'll be much more difficult to do that with Lex. After all, Cleansweep was the one who pushed forward here, not her mother, and I can't see Lex doing the same thing...at least not anytime soon. As it is, having a maid is the furthest thing from his mind at the moment, and I doubt he cares much about Feather Duster's presence one way or another.
And if (when?) Celestia's vision comes true, he'll likely have bigger problems anyway.
9535541
Oh, that's quite clever, I like that not only did you give them different vocab based on their base animal's group structure, but you used different languages as well. It's a bit ironic that the eagle Altair has a name reminiscent of a group of chaotic anarchists
9535553 I'm not familiar with the group you're referring to, but "Altair" has been used for a lot of things. Admittedly that's not surprising; it's pretty cool name, but I did want to change it up just a little, which is why I made Straightlace's eagle's name end in "aer" rather than "air." A small change, but hopefully it helped give it a unique twist.
Beyond that, I used different languages just because I was looking at all sorts of etymologies to evoke the terms ("animal" and "quality") that I wanted to be present in their names. That I ended up using such a diverse array of languages (nicely, albeit subtly, complementing the animals' different viewpoints with regards to how to address Lex) was a bit of serendipity.
9535560
I was referring to the original protagonist of the Assassin's Creed games, basically a series about a CN group of assassins throughout history fighting a LE group of Illuminati-types trying to control humanity and bring stability.
9535667 Ah. I haven't played those games, but I did stumble across that when I was looking up the name Altair before I posted the previous chapter. Seeing that made me hesitate a bit, since I didn't want to use a name that readers would potentially associate with someone else, but at the same time it was fitting enough that I didn't want to let it go. Hence, that contributed to my decision to change the spelling.
9535487
The growing relationships and the way everyone see's lex in completely different ways depending on who it is. And it is funny cause if Lex knew how differently others see him compared to his own view of himself. it would drive him more bonkers than usual.
9536856 I do wonder just how Lex will react when he realizes what his little fan club has done.
That said, I'm really glad you found this chapter so enjoyable, and I hope that you'll continue to do so as the story continues to unfold!