The sun seemed extra bright today, just as it had been for the past few days. It was the good sort of brightness, the one that comes along with an unexpected source of optimism, and not the kind of brightness that would have irritated Sparkle’s eyes. It was also the same sort of brightness that was reflected in Sparkle’s roommate’s eyes whenever the orange filly started talking about cutie mark crusading or, as was more relevant to the current situation, when racing down the hill at breakneck speeds.
Rody, the name by which Scootaloo knew Sparkle, clutched on to the edge of the pegasus-drawn wagon as they careened down the hill. Her smile was even wider than Scootaloo’s, as the sensation called forth memories of riding on Thorn’s back. Imbued with a strange courage that stemmed from having defied death - the action, not the goddess - and from the fact that if she were hurt, she could heal herself, Sparkle found the extremely dangerous trip to be quite exhilerating.
Ponyville market passed by them in a blur, meaning that their destination was fast approaching. Too fast, actually.
“Scootaloo! Slow down!”
“I got this!”
In the blink of an eye, Scootaloo's furious wingbeats swapped directions and produced a reverse thrust. The wagon quickly lost speed, but Sparkle knew that it wouldn’t be enough to completely stop a crash. The orange driver gently turned the scooter’s handle, sending the pair gracefully arching away from the building just in time to avoid plowing right into the front door.
When the wagon finally came to a stop, Sparkle quickly hopped out, thankful to feel solid ground again. As fun as that was, it was still nerve wracking. “Scootaloo, are all you flying types so crazy?”
“Hey, I’m good enough not to crash into anything, even with passengers!” she retorted.
“I didn’t say you were bad,” Sparkle replied with a slight giggle, “I said you were crazy. Fun, but crazy.”
“Right. Anyway, come on! Let’s get Sweetie Belle and Applebloom!” Tossing their helmets into the wagon, the pegasus filly and the reincarnated mare both trotted up to the door of the Carousel Boutique, the one they had nearly crashed into.
A bell jingled as the two fillies opened the door. The white proprietor of the store popped her head around the corner. “Welcome to... oh, Scootaloo! Rhodium! So good to see you! I’ll go tell Sweetie that you’re here.”
“Thanks, Rarity,” Scootaloo said.
As Rarity walked off, Sparkle’s eyes, hidden behind the reflective glasses, followed the mare’s flanks. For some reason, the mare that Sparkle had once found sexy thanks to Thorn no longer evoked any reaction. The necromancer attributed that to her prepubescent body and lack of hormones.
Not even thirty seconds later, the white filly they sought came bounding down the stairs in the back. “Scoots! Rody!” Sweetie Belle blinked, her face suddenly showing her confusion. She walked up to Sparkle and looked her over.
“Is there something the matter?” Sparkle asked.
Sweetie Belle eventually shrugged. “No. For some reason, I thought you were supposed to be a colt. And younger. I don’t know why, though.”
“Rody, I had a dream that you were a colt,” Scootaloo added.
“Huh,” Sparkle said, slightly nervous inside. Why had they thought she was still a colt? She’d swapped her gender ever since that mysterious note had reminded her of it, back when she was staying with Cobalt. “I was a filly when I met you and that hasn’t changed.”
“Meh,” the orange pegasus said. “This is Ponyville. Weirder things have happened.”
“Yeah, like the time my sister got rescued from diamond dogs by a zombie dragon,” Sweetie Belle said.
Rarity, who had been working on her current project on the other side of the room piped in, “Yes, that was quite the ordeal. Hey, Sweetie, why don’t you three go to Applebloom’s house so that you can tell Rody all about your adventures?”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes practically sparkled at the suggestion, while the fake-filly suppressed the urge to groan. With all three of them together, she knew it would be only a matter of time before they were screaming in her ear again.
With purpose behind their hooves, the three fillies headed outside to the scooter and wagon. And soon enough, the town was passing them by. With twice the load, Scootaloo was content to go a more reasonable pace, just over the speed of a foal’s gallop. The road to Sweet Apple Acres brought them through the edge of town and past the train station.
It was then that Sparkle noticed something peculiar; sitting on the station’s sole track was a train unlike any she’d ever seen. The entire thing, all ten or so cars including the engine, was made of crystal. The Crystal Empire flag carved on the side of the engine just confirmed that.
Sparkle muttered a particularly colorful swear under her breath, chiding herself for forgetting that her brother was coming today. While concentrating on making no strange visible reactions, Sparkle reached out with her mind to her wraith doppelganger and commanded it towards the train station.
A shadow raced across the ground at a speed that was hard for Sparkle to follow, even from this distance. As it approached the station, if bubbled up from the ground and shaped itself into the form of Sparkle’s old body.
The mare-turned-filly felt a twinge of nervousness in her chest. Hopefully, without the barrier and light magic protecting them, and without Sparkle nearby to be discovered, the Specter’s illusions would hold better against her brother and Cadance than they did against Twilight.
The scooter continued on its path, the driver and the other passenger unaware of her thoughts. As the distance between them and the train station grew, Sparkle turned more of her attention to the specter that was approaching her brother and sister-in-law.
With her mind, Sparkle pulled on the specter as if it was a puppet and set it dancing to her tune. “Shiny! Cadance!”
The stallion, who had just stepped off the train, took a half-step back in surprise, bumping into his equally stunned wife. In the same instant, the guard escort that was accompanying the princess and prince consort of the Crystal Empire raised their spears defensively. “Sparkle? Is that really you?” Shining Armor asked.
“Hi, Shiny,” Sparkle said, tilting the puppet specter’s head in a way that could possibly be interpreted as a nod. “I missed you.”
The wraith went to hug Shining, but a bubble of pink magic pushed it away. “Prove it, please. I don’t think I could take it if this was a trick.”
“Cadance, Sunshine, Sunshine, / Ladybugs awake...”
“Clap your hooves / and do a little shake!” Cadance finished cheerfully. She, along with Shining Armor, raced in to hug the specter, which had made itself solid for the occasion.“Sparkle, it really is you!”
At that, the guards surrounding them all lowered their spears, save for one. That one in particular, a non-crystal pony, was too busy having flashbacks of his time in Sparkle’s class. Brass had thought she was gone for good, but she was back. “Don’t put me back in the dark box. Please, I’ll be a good toy.”
“But how did you survive?” Cadance continued, unaware of her transfer guard’s emotional turmoil.
Sparkle’s grin, the one on both her real body and the copy, faltered. “I can’t tell you, not yet.”
“Why?” Shining Armor asked, perplexed.
“Because I swore that I’d take that secret with me to the grave. So, would you kindly lead me there so I can tell you?” She giggled at her own joke.
“We couldn’t find many fragments of your body in the snow, not enough to cremeate, anyway. You don’t have any ashes or a grave,” Shining Armor replied.
“Oh...” Some distance away, the real Sparkle slumped slightly in the wagon, though Sweetie Belle didn’t notice. The idea that she didn’t even have a grave was rather upsetting to her. She didn’t let it show outwardly, through. “Then I guess this dead mare’ll tell no tales.”
“Are death jokes something that we’re going to have to deal with now?” Shining Armor said with a grin.
“Why? Are they killing you?”
“No, but you sound like Dad did when he made his stupid jokes.”
“Shiny! Don’t disrespect the dead! I’m sure Dad would be rolling in his grave!”
Shining Armor snorted and shook his head. “It’s really good to see you, Sparks.”
“You too, Shiny, Cadance. So, I’ve already talked to Twilight a bit and she said that there was an invasion of changelings on her side on your wedding day. What happened here?” Sparkle asked. Knowing that her death was so close to when the wedding was planned, Sparkle knew that it was likely that things had changed. She didn’t know by how much, but one thing was obvious: Shiny and Cadance obviously weren’t changelings in disguise, judging by their souls. Still, it left her wondering.
The jovial mood deflated like a balloon with a slow leak, minus the annoying sound. “Ah,” Shiny started, “let’s just say that those enhancements worked a little too well.”
“What happened?” Sparkle concernedly asked, jumping straight into investigation mode. “If something’s wrong, I need to fix it!”
“Well...”
“It was a few days after your funeral, and the night before our postponed wedding...”
Shining Armor gazed out the window of Canterlot Castle. The moon was quickly rising in the east, pulled along by Princess Luna. Its soft glow illuminated the room more than the single candle did. Behind him, the door to the room slowly slid open, though the stallion did not turn back to look at the entrant.
“Shiny, please, you need to move forwards. I know that you’re upset, but you shouldn’t be. Not tonight. Not on the eve of our wedding,” the pink alicorn said as she slid up next to Shining Armor and draped her wing across his back. She leaned in and kissed his neck. “Please, there will be time to be sad later. You need a little happiness right now.” The kissing returned, more intense this time. “Come here, Shining Armor. Come to bed with me.”
“I won’t bore you with all the details, but...”
“Yes! Yes! Yes! Ahhhh~”
“Cadance, I’m-Ahh~!” Shining Armor looked down at the mare below him, who’s mouth was open wide in a gasp of pleasure. He couldn’t help but notice that her teeth looked unusually sharp. And then-
-he was standing in the middle of the hallway.
“Wait, what?” Sparkle asked, interrupting the story.
“Yeah, one minute I was with the changeling queen, who I still thought was Cadance at the time, and the next, I was standing in the hallway. For me, it was like I’d blinked, though everypony else said that it had been about twenty minutes. I awoke with Chrysalis impaled on a spear made from my own magic, dripping reddish-gray blood down onto me.”
“It killed her?” Sparkle asked.
“I take it that you know what it was, then?”
“I’d planted a specter into your skull; if you were ever hit with a psychic attack that you didn’t voluntarily request, it would force you into soul-sleep and take over your body to protect you, mind, body, and soul,” Sparkle explained.
Shining matched her explanation up with his memories and what he’d been told. Deciding that that was likely what happened, Shining answered her original question: “No, Queen Chrysalis didn’t die. I missed any major organs and the spear was still in place, stemming the internal bleeding. We took her to the hospital, bound her magic, and then fixed her up before placing her under arrest.”
Sparkle asked Cadance, “So what happened while he was unconscious?”
“Well, I had been kidnapped at the time, trapped down in the crystal caves until Aunt Celestia managed to get from Chrysalis where I was. But, from what we’ve gathered...”
Chrysalis opened her mouth to siphon the post-orgasm bliss that was sure to be pouring off of her current prey and found... nothing? She jerked back in surprise, her own pleasure haze cleared away with a surge of adrenaline.
Her disguised eyes caught sight of Shining Armor’s eyes, so dead-looking and yet so full of hate. Black smoke oozed from the edges, and the sclera were slowly turning black.
An alien-feeling magic pulsed from Shining Armor’s body, and in the blink of an eye, it was standing some distance away from the bed. “You tried to feed on my host, changeling. Bad move.”
Shining Armor was a barrier master, a pony skilled at creating solid geometric shapes out of magic that could act as shields. Or, since the shape was defined by the user, the ability could summon bladed weapons. A spear appeared above Shining’s back, and two square walls appeared at either side of Chrysalis and her opponent. Even possessed, Shining Armor was still a master of Scorpion style, a form of unicorn spear combat where the spear was the stinger and the shields to the sides were the claws that keep the target in the most dangerous position.
The magic spear shot forwards. At the last instant, Shining’s controller changed tactics and widened the speartip, changing the attack from a stab to a bludgeoning strike.
Chrysalis tried to dodge backwards, unable to move to the side because of the walls. It was in vain. The blow hit her squarely in the chest.
She in turn plowed straight through the wall behind them.
Chrysalis was by no means weak. She stood, aching all over. The initial blow disrupted her transformation, but the wall and floor barely hurt her through her carapace. She stood shakily, expecting to see it walking through the wall.
It was already in her face.
The possessed stallion’s second blow sent her flying past the guards who had been summoned by the noise.
“None of those who were there could really remember exactly what happened after that,” Shining Armor said. “They did say that I played with her for a while, not going for the kill until she was thoroughly defeated.”
“I see,” Sparkle said, making a mental note to correct the specter’s behavior so that it went straight for the kill instead. “And after you stabbed her? You took her to the hospital and imprisoned her, right?”
Shining Armor nodded. “Yes. Once she was stable, Chrysalis was quick to tell us - and by that, I mean Celestia - what she had been planning and where Cadance was.”
“I was rescued soon after,” Cadance said. “I was down there maybe ten hours, at most. Other than being tired and hungry, I was fine. Chrysalis herself was the only one to get hurt in the whole ordeal.”
“Then what happened?” Sparkle asked.
“Peace talks, of all things,” Cadance replied. At Sparkle’s specter’s incredulous look, Cadance elaborated. “When the Crystal Heart returned, so did much of the love that the changelings had been missing. Chrysalis had originally planned an invasion to gather ponies to farm for love, but downscaled when the heart came back. What Chrysalis was doing was a resource grab; now that they had love, they were after other resources that their hive couldn’t normally get, including direct access to the Crystal Heart through me. More importantly, they wanted plants in companies who would then send them resources. When Celestia heard about this, she ended up negotiating the first ever trade agreement between Equestria and the Changeling hives.”
“But Chrysalis kidnapped you!” Sparkle replied. “Why would Celestia help her?”
“Because she thought that being stabbed was punishment enough, since I wasn’t hurt? Perhaps because she saw an opportunity to end suffering? Or perhaps because she’d been trying to revamp Equestria for over a year now and thought that the country could use a new economic ally? Who knows, except Aunt Celestia?” Cadance said.
Why? Sparkle wondered. For a decade, she'd had to fight and claw for every last good thing that came from the government, and then that parasite comes along and after kidnapping a princess, gets a trade deal. It didn't seem fair to Sparkle. Her opinion of the white princess dropped further.
"So... A changeling hive as an ally. I never thought I'd see the day," Sparkle commented. "Hey, is it just me, or does it seem like a lot of big things happening nowadays are in some way triggered by me?"
Shining Armor reflected for a moment. "Yeah, I'd say that's a reasonable statement. You planning on writing an autobiography?"
Sparkle chuckled and shook her head. "I was just thinking that it felt like the plot of somepony writing a book, or at least actively trying to adjust the outcomes."
"I thought you didn't believe in fate," Shining Armor said.
"It's probably somepony else pulling the strings. I personally think it's a time traveler."
The white brother looked at her skeptically. "Whatever you say, Sis. Whatever you say."
Four fillies galloped or rode on a scooter or wagon towards the middle of town. Scootaloo pulled as usual, and joining Sweetie Belle in the wagon was Applebloom. Meanwhile, Sparkle galloped alongside the wagon, easily keeping pace.
“Are ya sure this will work?” Applebloom asked Sparkle.
“I’m only as sure as Scootaloo is,” Sparkle replied. “If doing tricks with her scooter really is what she’s good at and loves doing, then I’m sure that this will get her her cutie mark.”
Scootaloo swerved, turning sharply into an alleyway. She yelped in surprise, though Sparkle couldn’t see why until she too rounded the corner and promptly ran right into it. Or her, as the case turned out to be.
Sparkle’s face ached from where her sunglasses had been pressed into her and then dragged off by the collision with the other pony. She opened her eyes, only to wince and shut them again after the bright sunlight hit them.
“Hey, watch where you’re going!” the voice of Diamond Tiara said.
“Sorry,” Sparkle replied. She tried to open her eyes again, but the direct sun was unusually bothersome today. “Hey, where did my glasses fall?”
"Oh, these?" Diamond Tiara said as she put them on. Sparkle smirked slightly as she felt the magic within them take hold of the pink filly. Diamond Tiara asked, "What's so special about them anyway?"
"Give Rody back her glasses!" Applebloom shouted.
"Yeah!" Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle agreed in unison.
Instead of replying, Sparkle simply walked right up to Diamond Tiara and yanked the glasses off her face. Without a word, she slid them back onto her own head and blinked in relief from the bright sunlight. "Come on; let's go."
As the four crusaders set off, three of them paid little attention to the fact that Diamond Tiara hadn't moved since she's put the glasses on, or that she was now grimacing.
"Diamond Tiara's walkin' funny," Applebloom remarked, curiosity evident in her voice.
"I noticed that," Sweetie Belle added. "It's kind of funny looking. And have you noticed that she jumps occasionally, like she was just slapped in the butt?"
"Yeah, and look at Silver Spoon. She keeps giving Diamond these weird looks," Scootaloo said, pointing her hoof to the other side of the classroom, where Silver was quite clearly staring at Diamond.
"I don't know," Sparkle said. "Whatever it is, it's kept her away from us. She hasn't bothered us for a while now."
"True," Scootaloo agreed.
It was about that time when Cheerilee trotted into the room. "Good morning, class. I've got an exciting lesson for you all today!"
With class starting, the crusaders' conversation died down. While three of them looked towards Cheerilee, Applebloom turned her attention once more towards Diamond Tiara, who was gingerly rubbing her rear end. The rich filly had been unusually subdued for a week, and hadn't bullied them once in that time; the respite was nice, but the oddness that came along with it left the crusaders and the rest of the class rather curious.
I forget... what's the deal with the glasses, again?
6377840
Ever since Sparkle's reincarnation, sunlight bothers her eyes.
So... possession?
Honestly, that's rather tame for messing with Sparkle and DT is hardly a saint. I'd say keep it as-is.
This answers so much right here. So so much!
Sparkle holds such a grudge against Celestia that the princess can't do anything right in her eyes. I would say that it is sad, but I find it funny.
6377904
To be fair Sparkle's been given crap for the way she and her magic simply is since she was just a filly. After accidentally eating the souls of her parents nonetheless.
But in saunters the love-eating bug-ponies that happens to be politically convenient to turn the other cheek on, and welcome into the fold with open hooves after what amounts to little more than a public spanking...
And well, it's not exactly hard to read some rather unflattering things about Celestia into that. At the very least its a rather blatant political move.
Putting them on, the pink fully asked
She rich filly hadn't taken them off for a week
1. Filly.
2. The.
No grave, not even an empty one? Sounds strange to me, shouldn't she have at the very least something like a memorial plaque (atleast in the Chrystal Empire)?
Diamond deserves what ever she go's through. I'd be happy if her soul was doomed to languish away in sparkle's gullet for all time.
Teaching DT a lesson is great, as long as it's not taken to far, she's a filly after all.
6378011
6377973
Thanks.
6377874 Sparkle will become Death??!!!
That's... interesting.
Bullies deserve to suffer...
Give her hell, Sparkle!
6378118
I came to a similar conclusion. Hm...
Well given all the shenanigans this author has pulled so far, I'm not entirely surprised.
6377946
6377904
I'd look at it from this point of view, Celestia would have never even considered such an agreement had she not realized earlier what a heel she had been to Sparkle because of her close-mindedness. Her regrets that she did not do right by Sparkle for such a long time has prompted her to try and see better resolutions than smiting potential enemies.
Of course this would obviously still annoy Sparkle even if this was the reason and she knew it, but the fact that she doesn't and that Celestia still doesn't know she's recovered from her little case of 'death' only adds to the misunderstanding and misinterpretations.
I don't think punishing DT will really do something, sure she is a bully, but she hasn't done anything wrong except that.
I think it could be interesting that she'll experience something like day-dreaming except that it's a nightmare until she'll learn her lesson.
6377844 But of course that doesn't mean she didn't make the glasses have some kind of enchantment for other wearers. I say leave it in. Could be interesting.
Eh, I'd say teach Diamond a lesson, but don't take it too far. She is still a filly, and Sparkle is technically a grown mare.
Wait, so the letter was sent to before she got to Ponyville? Does that mean you added an entirely new scene where she changed her foal body to a female, as well as all the gender changes of Death? If so, which chapter was it?
6378229 As someone who was bullied, I have no sympathy for her. It isn't 'just bullying', like it's a minor thing. Bullying for the sake of bullying is pure evil. Worse than rape in my opinion, depending on the severity that is.
6378230 So Diamond Tiara now walks in darkness? Guess the next step would be for her to start calling herself Obsidian Crown or something along those lines *shrugs*
Oh, and I don't mean she is walking in literal darkness, that would be stumbling along in darkness. Could the glasses be changing the nature of DT's magic by any chance?
aaaand there we go, knew it. Lord Death is Lady Death, the Master is the Mistress again.
6378178
I'd really hope Shiny goes to talk to Celestia about this double standard, and relay her response.
Maybe forgiveness might sometime happen in a few decades?
You might want to have a look at the first line of the second paragraph. "the'n_ name by which Scootaloo knew Sparkle" trips you up right "then" and there.
6379077
Thanks.
6379124
Welcome :)
Oooooh! Make it so Tiara can sense the pain she causes others!
Yas. All the puns and jokes and scarring fillies. Yassss.
I was expecting something entirely different from that chapter title.
Ok, first off. Diamond tiara is a b!tch and deserves to get punished for stealing sparkels glasses, and sparkels should "trick" her in to giveing them back and getting a new "better" pair.
second, great chapter as useual.
Third...
. . .
VIVA LA REVILOTION!
Hey Wille it's ultimate gamer. Damn dude you sneaky SOB you have been having fun sneakily breaking the fourth wall and being slightly meta. I gotta say I liked it it was interesting. I was gonna say something about it in the blog but you know asks are off for now anyways I liked the Diamond Tiara. Its an interesting concept you could probably stretch to make something interesting that can extend two or three more chapters or you could easily screw it up (so much for confidence boost ;) ) but I trust that you can make something good out of it as you are a great writer and officially one of my favorites and in the top three with the writer of hard reset my first long fic which name I don't know and The Albinocorn writer of sunset of time and long road to friendship. Speaking of Sunset and EQG I'm interested to see how you involve the human world from eqg into this as you stated in the blog that you wanted to do something with it and or had ideas about it.
Why is it that every time I see the title for this chapter I expect a James Bond style song to play after the opening scene?
Love Eater, She's the mare.
The mare with the endless thirst!
A spider's touch
Such a cold caress
Beckons you to enter her web of sin
But don't go in
Golden words she will pour in your ear
But her lies can't disguise what you fear
For a pony knows when she's kissed them
It's the kiss of death from Love Eater
Pony beware she wants your heart of gold.
Her hunger is bold!
to the tune of :
If I had Sparkle's power and abilities, I'd put a spectre in the glasses, as well as spells/hexes that would randomly do any number of pre-determined things (generally non-lethal and without permanent consequence. Just enough to make them hate life while experiencing them, and perhaps for a length of time after) of my choosing.
These things would also not always be immediate. Many would surface after some time had passed (though generally within the same day).
Really odd and specific things too, like:
-Occasional irresistible cravings for furniture polish (just enough to make them extremely sick, but without allowing them to ingest enough to cause permanent damage to their body before the craving entirely vanishes).
-Terrible, horrendous body odor (accompanied by migraine headaches whenever they come in contact with soap/shampoo/etc).
-Severe (to the extent of complete) mane and/or fur loss.
-Loss of sight, hearing, taste, or smell.
-Debilitating stomach cramps.
-Extreme diarrhea, bordering on dysentery (which would persist for a short time even after removing the glasses).
-Frequent and random complete losses of bowel and/or bladder control (always in public).
-Short (a few seconds to a few minutes) but severe depression (again, not to the point of causing suicidal tendencies or permanent changes to the wearer).
-(In females) unimaginably severe and incurable "feminine itch" which would persist for up to 3 weeks after removal of the glasses.
-(In males) regular, insatiable, painfully extreme erections (lasting no longer than 3 hours 59 minutes).
- (In teens and adults) Intense sexual desires involving deep personal fears and phobias (As nonlethal as possible, depending on said person's fear. IE, if DT were an adult and feared spiders, suddenly she'd find herself with the irresistible desire to run to the nearest nest of nonvenomous spiders she could find to furiously masturbate after having aggravated them into crawling on and biting her. Immediately afterward, the influence would vanish, leaving her exhausted, covered in bites, and literally crawling with her deepest fear).
Not all of these would happen, they would be chosen at random on a per-offense basis, and all of them would be simply to make that person's life miserable for the sake of them having stole my property.
And they would have had to intentionally taken them without intention to immediately return them to me (or at least, at the next possible convenience) in order to suffer the wrath of my eyewear.
Absolute beauty I've admired a few times again and again. I wish I could be born as Sparkle next life.
So... I have some concerns that have been building for the past few chapters, and now with this thing with Diamond Tiara, I guess I'll throw them out there.
First off is the whole time travel thing with Death changing genders. Since you decided to retcon the whole story and have Death be female from the very beginning, the end of the interlude and the comment Sweetie and Scootaloo made in this chapter don't have any place in the story. Those only worked becuause we, as outside observers, knew Death and Rhodium had been male up until that letter was sent back and things were changed. But for any new readers, who see Death as being female from the very beginning, those parts will make no sense whatsoever.
You have to either retcon EVERYTHING, or retcon NOTHING. Not pick and choose.
The next is Rhodium's talk with Twilight. How did Twilight not know she wasn't talking to the real Sparkle? I remember it being mentioned back in the beginning of the first story that they could tell where the other was because their souls were constantly being "pulled" towards each other. She should have known that she was only talking to a fake because the pull was leading elsewhere.
And on the same line, how did she not know that Sparkle was back as soon as Rhodium stepped out of the pocket dimension? Even assuming the pull doesn't reach across planes, once her soul was back in the right plane Twilight should have felt it.
Speaking of Sparkle's death, why were Luna and her night guard not at the funeral? Or Vinyl? It kinda seemed like they were friends, especially Luna and Vinyl. At the very least you'd think they'd want to pay their respects since she, you know, saved Canterlot and all that.
And on the same vein, why has Luna not tried to contact Sparkle, even though she knows that she's back? Twilight might have modified Trixie's memories that once, but I highly doubt that she was the only one who saw Sparkle's shade, and now she's got Cadance and Shining Armor meeting it right on the platform of the Ponyville train station. It seems very unlikely that no one noticed someone as high profile as Canterlot's resident necromancer who's supposed to be dead walking around the town where the Elements of Harmony live.
Come to think of it, why on earth would she have them show up in Ponyville to talk to her? Even if no one notices Sparkle's shade (somehow) the royal train of the Crystal Empire showing up that close to Canterlot would be noticed. They don't really have any reason to be there since Sparkle was never sent to live there in that timeline.
The thing with Diamond Tiara is a TERRIBLE idea for Sparkle. If I was Diamond's parent and she started behaving like she has been, I would first take her to the doctor, and then to Trixie. One of them would notice whatever dark magic is on those glasses. Glasses that can very easily be traced right back to Rhodium. Anything that draws attention to her and the magic she isn't supposed to have is a terrible idea. I thought she was trying to keep a low profile?
6386712
Let me address what I can:
The memory slipups are a side effect of the time change - Thorn couldn't recall exactly how many people he was guarding (it changed), Death couldn't remember her own son (he didn't exist before) and The CMC mistook Rody for a boy (because she was). There's a reason for this: Twilight Sparkle broke time. It's been in the story since the prologue, and it's explicitly stated in the first story's summary.
Second, Your eyes and ears are the first two senses you rely on. The specter looked and acted like Sparkle in all the ways that mattered, and the pull isn't a sense that is well understood by them and isn't particularly accurate. Understanding a difference of miles is easier than understanding a few feet, especially when time is being actively distorted as it was in that scene.
Third, the pull works across universes, and since neither of them know how it works, it's entirely possible that it could be felt even in a pocket dimension.
Fourth, Luna did attend the funeral. However, I've added Lieutenant Ironwood, Squad Six, and Vinyl Scratch. Thank you for pointing that out.
Five, Luna and dreams... I'll have to deal with that eventually. Sparkle does have some ability to hide herself, but it's also entirely possible that Luna has peaked without actively interacting with dream Sparkle and dream Thorn.
Six, Shiny and Sparkle have been in contact, more than just that original letter (I'll go back and make that more explicit). I don't think Sparkle expected them to bring the crystal empire's train all the way down to Ponyville (But Cadance did in Three's a Crowd, so I'm rolling with it). And Sparkle's specter was created for the sake of being noticed; its entire purpose is to be noticed and to draw attention away from the little filly in the schoolhouse.
And finally, Diamond Tiara: Did you read my author's note? I said that I might edit that out, although I might end up just changing it to something less traceable. I've got some good ideas, they just might require a few modifications.
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And now comes the response to the response:
I did catch all the hiccups in time when things changed, and I thought those were all really nice touches. The problem is that the reason they work, the whole reason they have meaningful significance to us as the readers, is because up until that point Death was male. The change was meaningful because we saw both the before and the after. For new readers, ones who won't see the "before" where Death was male, the moment of change doesn't mean anything because, for them, nothing changed.
Sweetie and Scootaloo dreaming about Rhodium as a colt has no significance if he never was a colt as far as the readers know. A whole scene about Death switching genders doesn't matter if the only thing the readers have seen was Death as a female. It's just sort of a head scratcher moment where they'd be like, "ok... that happened. I'm not sure why, but it happened."
(I'm just gonna actually number these for clarity's sake. I just got home from work and I don't trust myself t be coherent otherwise, lol.)
2) The inaccuracy of the pull clears that one up. It was never completely explained how sensitive it was beyond the fact that they knew where the other one was, so that one kind of got a raised eyebrow from me, but it makes sense now.
3) If it does work across universes (and possibly pocket dimensions) I still wonder why Twilight didn't know Sparkle was back as soon as she returned as Rhodium. And now that I think about it, if it can be felt in the pocket dimension, Twilight never would have lost that pull, since even after her original body shattered, her soul was still around.
4) I apparently forgot Luna. My bad...
5) I'm gonna tie this one in to six. Though the possibility that she does know and just isn't saying anything is an interesting one.
6) I know that the specter was created specifically to draw attention away from her, but I think I didn't phrase my original issue with it correctly (I blame the fact that I wrote my original post as I was running out the door to get to work). It's not so much the fact that it exists, it's that fact that it's hanging around Ponyville. If the whole point is to draw attention away from her, having it so close to her is a risky move, considering that most of the ponies it would draw attention from are ponies powerful enough to either notice that it's a fake, or catch Rhodium by noticing her magic, if they take the time to look close enough.
Even if Luna doesn't suspect Sparkle is up to anything, the possibility that she would look closely, or even actually go there, is fairly high considering that she was actually Sparkle's friend.
Not to mention that Luna, at the very least, has hinted that she can see souls if she wants to, and the vampires in her night watch are still (presumably) bound to Sparkle in some way. I'm not sure if that makes it more easy for them to find her, but if it does, that's a thing as well. And if Luna and Celestia are paying close attention to Ponyville while searching for Sparkle, it's just a matter of time before they catch the real her.
7) I did read the author's note. I'm saying that, as it is now, it's an incredibly reckless and obvious move for Sparkle to make. Even if she manages to keep anyone in town from noticing that Rhodium is the one who cursed the glasses, they'll all blame Sparkle. Celestia already keeps her on a short leash, and being blamed for cursing a child pretty much guarantees that the whole town will be under some very heavy scrutiny.
I knew it! Sparkle is Death! Huzzah!
well,
i've put this fic behind for too long... finished both storys to this point in two days
love sparkle and her ways, the whole time thing is well done and does go to answer "what if" on many cases, the whole timeline is a great read with sparkle being a necromancer with less the clean sheet of deeds.
being evil doesn't make a pony bad
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Thanks.
When will that joke get old. I really want to learn more about this guy......Side Story PLease
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How many times did we meet this guy?! Probably 3 since this is a sequel. I was expecting Flash or some other guard to say that!
Yeah, I'm definitely glad that Sparkle is back to being female. It just feels right for her.
It's pretty solidly a pegasi racial trait, excluding the occasional aberration like Fluttershy.
Well, as a filly, good. It'll definitely make things less awkward.
Karma for, well, everything.
Poor Brass.
Man, villains really fare poorly in this 'verse. I almost feel sorry for Chrysalis.
On the other hand, never mind, things actually went pretty well for her post-beating.
I dunno, Sparkle, maybe she knows how badly she did by you and is trying to change her approach moving forward.
Also karma, I'm sure.
I would rather like a description of what Sparkle did to DT, given that she's acting like she's getting haunted by a molesting specter. Seriously, if that's the case then it's too far... Also reminds me of that murder mystery from earlier...
Man, rereading this awesome fic and I find some small things.
Since it was probably the first time Shining Armor ever saw changeling blood, shouldn't "a silvery sheen" be the more characterisitc quality in his eyes?
MfG NIchtraucher
I feel bad for Shining now. I mean.. He's got to have heavy metal poisoning, and that's obscure enough that I don't think Sparkle would have thought to include that
Cheeky.
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Huh, yeah, it should.
Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle... don’t you see Celestia learned her lesson with you?