Sunset Shimmer is awakened in the middle of the night by the sounds of furious knocking coming from the front of her home. When she investigates, she's surprised by the source of this disturbance.
Cover art provided by:Stripedbrain
Art used with permission
No explanation on the parents, nothing about what happens next? Story has potential, but...this needs to be more than a one-shot.
5750405 I agree.
Granted the story is starting to get interesting.
Sequel?
I-I think thats a cliffhanger...
Must be!....
Sequel...Sequel....SEQUEL!!!!
GIVE US WHAT WE WANT!!!!!!
Parents? Adopted? That part just got me confused. (Did Celestia adopt her?)
Overall, I like the story. It's short, sweet, and perfectly in character. Aria is arrogantly indifferent, Sonata is sweet and oblivious, and Adagio is cruel but pragmatic. Even Sunset, suspicious but sympathetic feels so right. (I swear Sunset and Adagio are almost identical)
I hope we get more. I'm genuinely curious to see who Sunset's living with, and how having three homeless girls crashing on the couch will affect things. Also maybe more big sister Adagio? :)
I further calls for a follow-up to this.
Nice story, and good cover art. Although personally, I would've gone with this:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/2/20/833275__safe_blushing_clothes_equestria+girls_upvotes+galore_crying_open+mouth_eyes+closed_sunset+shimmer_frown.jpg
5750405
5750593
Thank you both for commenting. About Sunset's parents. While I feel that her parents were important enough to mention in the fic, they were not critical to the story I wanted to tell. Besides, they didn't wake up anyway. If I were to write a sequel then they would probably have a larger roll in the story. As for what happens next... that's to be determined. Maybe. Anyway, thanks for the honesty!
5750654
5750766
A sequel, eh? Maybe.
Thanks for reading!
Love this story! You do such a great job capturing the characters and what they would do in their given situation. Here's hoping for more
5750685
You nailed what I have planned for Sunset's parents. It's totally in my head that Sunset is adopted. It's probably not by Celestia, though. I'm glad to hear that you think that everyone is in character. As I was writing this story, I couldn't help but notice the similarities between Sunset and Adagio.
So you want a sequel too? Hmm. Rest assured, if I do write a sequel, there will be more of big sister/mom Adagio.
Thanks for commenting!
5750804
Thank you for reading. I'm quite pleased with my cover art. I think it captures what I wanted very well.
5750858
Indeed! Here's hoping. Thanks for reading!
Parents?
5752033
What is your question?
5752037
I believe they are bringing up the point that due to being from another world, Sunset shouldn't have parents. At least not in the human world. So they might not have noticed your earlier comment about adoption and having a plan for who they are.
5752780
Fair enough.
Was it only me wishing sunny had the English gangster accent and when she answered the door would ask "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU???"
aw come on there has to be more PLZ
5756225
There might be some more. We shall see. Thanks for reading!
Cute but why does Sunset from Equestria have parents in this world?
5788790
Maybe they got banished with her... thats all i got.
Oh so their Sunset's adopted parents. That makes sense because she is still just a teen a still needs a caregiver.
Other than that another chapter PLEASE?
5833038 Thank you for understanding!
Anyway, there might be more to this story. We shall see.
5833519
Please make more.
5887876
There may be some more. Just what happens in the morning, I wonder? We shall see. Eventually. Probably.
Thanks for reading!
5889063
Awesome.
This honestly feels pretty lacking as a one-shot. As a first chapter in a longer story? Well, then we're getting somewhere. But for now, it just feels incomplete.
5900088
You're not wrong. While I told the story I wanted to tell with Uninvited Guests, there is more to the story. As it is, it's an open-ended one-shot.
Thanks for the honesty!
Cute story; you really should consider adding more.
5945255
It's definitely under consideration!
Thanks for reading!
I enjoyed reading this, it's a nice sweet little story, and I always love some big sister Adagio moments.
Her parents must be really heavy sleepers if they didn't wake up to the loud knocking, and all the talking haha. I'm sure Sunset has taken advantage of that plenty of times.
To be honest I do agree with a lot of the other comments, It just doesn't feel like a one shot, it doesn't have that closure that you often see. It's really open ended, much more so than normal open ended endings, you have so many questions and potential plot lines here that it looks more like the first chapter of a multi-chapter story. I'd love to see more, I think you could make a really good story here, but I also don't want to push you into making a sequel if you don't want to. For now I'll give It a fave, and I do hope you continue, but if not thanks for the story.
6109530
I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Big sister Adagio is great, isn't she?
Sunset's parents are really heavy sleepers. I think your right. Sunset definitely has taken advantage of this. Hmm... could be another story idea.
The comments are not wrong, there is more to this story. However, this one-shot covered exactly what I wanted to cover. Anything else would have to be covered in a sequel, I'd just have to think of everything first. Though, I do have a few ideas. We'll just have to see. The story is rather open ended, but this is for a couple reasons. In case I wanted to write a sequel and because that's how I wanted to end the story.
I really appreciate your words. It makes me happy to hear that you want more and think it'd be a really great story with added content. I would be inclined to agree. Also thank you for not pushing me to write a sequel. While I definitely want to write one I have no idea when it would actually get written. It'd depend on if I had other stories to write or wanted to write, and more importantly, if I felt that I could make the sequel as good as the original.
I hope I find a satisfactory way to continue this story too. Anyway, thank you for reading and for taking the time to write a comment!
6111009
Oh yes, I've always liked stories where Adagio takes on that big sister/head of the house role. It's nice to see her caring for the others, and getting through hard times with the other sirens together.
Also glad I could give you a nice story idea
Sequel! Sequel! Sequel! Come on, we are all thinking it!
6144821 I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the future holds for Uninvited Guests. There may be a thing or two for it at some point. Thanks for reading!
I'll read this later its 2:26am here bit honestly to read fics
6162397
that sounds like the perfect time to read this fic
How does Sunset have parents if she's from Equestia?
7529694
Adoption.
this story feels very incomplete how did sunset get parents in the human world what happens next ect
Hm. Characterizations are spot on. The writing is solid. That's a ten.
Huh, didn't expect to find out Sunset has parents in this one. Guess the human tag was obviously a huge sign.
Something must of happened that caused this.
Dang, but tbt they choose a bad time of the day to do it.
Seems like she still cares about them even if they drive her crazy sometimes. I feel the same when it comes to my younger sister.
They sure will want a solid answer on why coming morning.