Our minds bend and our fingers fold. Entwined, we dream . . . I know.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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gr8
7729645 Thanks :p So, you liked it?
Holy cow, this is dark as hell! It's so horrific to me yet I must continue with a morbid curiosity now.
7729871 Hehe, that's what I was going for! I hope it haunts you long after you read it >:3
Good lord, this was quite shocking to me.
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I can only hope I don't have a nightmare about this now. I haven't had one in a while where I suddenly move and while awake sit there shocked. But I said I would read it and I follow through my word.
I should of read a comedy first, freaking hell.
Nevertheless this is a significant improvement in your writing style. You certainly have a way to describe detail.
7730182 Well, give about half of that credit to my proofreader. Jeezus, he worked his ass off for me~
Thank you VERY very much! I think this all mainly came from me being out on my own, finally, and generally being more confident in myself, and damn happy, too. Comments like these do indeed boost my confidence as well. Thank you again ^w^
7730212
He did a good job, and you did too setting out this story. It was to-the-point before it was too long and now I know why mannequins are creepy as hell. There's even a Skyrim mod for creepy mannequins, geez.
Oh great I'm imaging the potential fan art now. What a vivid imagination. This reminded me of Lord of the Flies in some way.
7730221 What the heck? What enemies are they supposed to be? :3
What?! Who!? How!? Huh!? Why!?
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Holy fuck!
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Should be headed.
Probably be "is a little personal"
The I doesn't need to be capital
I believe you meant variety
"no sign of anyone"
Either say or breathe; only one is needed.
"she was a teenager..."
The I doesn't need capitalization.
I think there should be a period between herself and she.
Those were all the ones I could find in this chapter. Very chilling, by the way!
7730227
That's the thing, the mannequins in the Skyrim mod are not even enemies. And they.. multiply.
7730298 Working on it right now ^3^
7730299 Oh man... They just get in the way?
Either "wasn't materializing" or "wasn't having any effect" would work
"find her way..." I believe
"she was quite grateful for."
"that of a disciplined..."
Might have forgotten something there, or you could just take out the and
It would be "imagined"
All I found in that chapter. You really know how to make things intense to a gut-wrenching point. Great job!
7730402 You read fast ^.^ Awesome~
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Yup, they get in the way.
7730288 You like it? :3
7730298 I should have caught that/those. I hate me.
7730684 I do know that I left a few of those there, too. Like, I attempted to change stuff, but I left even more mistakes. Then fixed more, then left more, then fixed them all with yours and his and other people's help.
7730689 Doesn't make me feel better.
7730692 Relaaaaax, bruh ^w^:x:trixie:
7730221 Also, I would love fan-art. I've only ever received one piece of fan-art for my story 'R.E.A.R., and I still treasure it to this day ^w^
7730528
I loved it! It was creepy, spooky, and awesome! I hated that rose was blamed.
7732402 And the weird thing is that Roseluck in [one of two of] my absolute favorite character. But I wanted to how my appreciation for her...in a dark way, with this being a horror story and all.
I'm SO glad to hear that you liked it~
I'm going to be honest: I have no idea what I just read. It was certainly creepy but if there's some thread connecting everything then I'm failing to follow it.
7740873 You know, I thought about that before... I should really make a blog post or something with an actual explanation. Thanks! ^w^
Wanderer. I applaud you. This made me so happy, and truly did me right in the dark section of stories. I'm so intrigued, and I'm very excited.
As before, with best regards, thank you for this wonderful chapter. I will continue.
7764073 Oh, you're not even finished with it, and you have this much to say?? I knew this would be a great story, but daaamn. :D
Thank you very very much!! That means soooo much to me!!
I cried. This was so gloriously gory. It's might be just the next great horror.
So... In a way this set off a series of events that caused the other five to become corrupt?
7764909 I'm hoping for that, for sure!
7764916 [for your other comment]—Yes, but of course, I didn't include many details going into that, as I meant for it to be up to the readers' own interpretations, with how they've just read such a gruesome end to two beloved sisters.
Also, if you like it so much, feel free to tell your friends about it and/or link them to it! ^3^
7765025 I sure will man. This was was of your best ever, and honestly I really think that this shadows a lot of the other stories I've read. Gravy bravey.
7765536 See? I knew you'd love it ;3
As opposed to...the ceiling?
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"Chance?! You followed me around like a weeping angel and spouted nonsense about a game without explaining anything! How's that a chance for anything?!"
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"No, but are you eager to see mine, darling? I call it 'Telekinetically Drag Monstrosity to Twilight for Instant Obliteration'
To what?! Being cryptic isn't the same thing as being scary you stupid dress stand all it does is make you increasingly frustrating!
"Are...are you trying to turn me into a serial killer? Because I swear to Celestia I'll go Jason Voorhees on your collective asses"
"I'm already a serial killer aren't I?"
8037060 I realize there were still a lot of weird things that slipped through my days spent editing this, but nothing's perfect, right? :3
I appreciate your time reading this~ At least I had left a few things behind, good or bad.
9729647 Now, if you'd be so kind as to enlighten me...care to tell me why you think that, exactly?
Looking at how young you are here, I'd say I already know why :p
9730273
So why are you haggling me, dude? I don't think either of us really need this
If you really have something to say to me, don't say it here: look up Wand3r3r3#3569 on Discord instead
9730273
Lmao. Talkin' shit about a story and refuses to say why. Sounds like someone is salty. I can see why you were b&. Maybe you should be less abrasive for no reason.
9730294
Ask this guy instead: 9731925 .
9732073
I did, in person. Lmfao
Edit: Aww, deleted your salt like a big-big man.