EDIT! This series is now open universe! You want to make a spinoff version? You totally can! You want to self insert yourself into their shenanigans? You can do that too! The characters and story are now completely public domain. I've lost interest in the series but if for some reason you actually like it enough to write your own take on it, you're more than welcome to! I'd love to read them, so feel free to link back and please remember to credit me/the story as the source!
Thestrals were defeated by the Princesses Luna and Celestia a thousand years ago, and are thought extinct. But what will happen when one moves to Ponyville? Disguised as an earth pony, Acrylic does her best to fit in. The burden of hiding her wings weighs heavily on her, and keeps her from becoming truly close to anypony. Can she keep the secret, or will she expose her entire race?
DAFQ? 122K in one go? and it's your first fic?
need some explaining mate
Is this that story where a self insert OC is going to be the seventh element of harmony?
Ack, sheesh man 122,000 words? That's impressive, do you hail from devianart? I would think so.
And there's a sequel!
I just migrated from fanfiction.net because someone tried to plagiarize my story. This one was already finished, but I'm still posting the sequel which will hopefully show up here soon. I just have to catch up to myself.
And no, I don't have deviantart, but I post characters and scenes from my stories on my pinterest account: http://www.pinterest.com/adoptpetz/
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Oops meant Fanfiction. But still impressive, just be aware people have standards on here unlike Fanfiction.
one wonders... do mlp fics published on fanfiction without having a copy here? why go to general fic when having fimfic here?
4993588 Ok that explains it because I had sworn I had read like half of this story already on fimfiction.
And its better formatted for reading. The only the other guy put up made reading hard.
4993540 no, this is imported from fanfiction.com. It's really good. It isn't self insert, but it is OC has adventures with mane six.
4993588 Woo! Good to see you here. Loved your story.
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Why is it called The seventh element then?
Story of the title is wrong. We all know Dr. Bright is the 7th element of Harmony.
Oh my... I read this before I joined fimfiction. Surprised it made it here.
I was hoping you would get a fimfiction account.
4994007 That would be spoiling it.
It is one of those 'retelling' of the series. But it is perhaps my favorite one that at least made efforts to stay canon.
I liked it, read the first three chapters. I'll admit the story type is not everyone's cup of tea, but for what it is it: it is well written, clever, and I enjoyed it.
I don't know what it is about this story that makes me want to read it...and I wish I had the influence to make it popular.
4994350 Try reading 'A New Hero' by AlextheLoneWolf.
I really enjoyed this story, and I actually finished it all in one sitting, so you know it's good. The only thing I had an issue with was the use of underlining/italics in scenes where we weren't following Acrylic. Maybe try using headers instead? The text changes are a little jarring to read.
Ponyville was founded before Luna was banished? It's been established that Granny Smith was around when Ponyville was founded.
It's like death note!
This is called the seventh element. Why only six?
I can't say much more than I loved the story, now if you excuse me I have to go to bed and rest my neck. (Seriously I stayed up all night reading this from start to finish and at some point my neck ended up in a weird position and Oww. Anyway I'll be back for the sequel and perhaps a better comment tomorrow)
5002101 No death note kills.
5012824 I mean the idea of it, at least
He's a thestral as well, isn't he?
I knew it! He is a thestral!
FOR THE FREAKING RECORD. Nightmare Moon DOES NOT, REPEAT DOES NOT HAVE BAT WINGS! Her's are a standard alicorns. WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SCREWING THAT UP!?
4997234 No, at best Ponyville is about 100 years old. And frankly would not be surprised if Celestia planned on creating Ponyville there for her plan to rescue her sister.
PRICELSS, FREAKING PRICELESS!
I see hat you did there.
Getting Discord to jaw drop, that's a first
SO CLOSE.
This story was incredible. I started this tale yesterday and I finished 5 minutes ago today. At first it starts off as a standard OC alongside Mane 6 story (not that I care or anything..... I was hooked after chapter 5) but after the wedding, things take a very different turn. What happened was a little too jarringly dark considering this doesn't have the tag for it, but I quickly recovered and was still on edge. I have to say, you built a great world here.
I look forward to the sequel. My favorite part here was how you made me like Rarity and Garble considering that episode drove me crazy. I am not fond of Rarity and I adored her here. Almost every scene had me appreciating her Garble was a bully and I am not fond of how extremely naive Spike was in Dragon Quest. I had to skip bits and pieces cause I kept wanting to facepalm about how naive he was being. You redeemed the episode fully in my eyes. It doesn't hurt that I adore dragons and it is about bleeping time that Spike has another dragon in the area.
Bravo and well played. I think this is going on my wall of fame...
All I can say is that you did a really good job.You have my approval.This story was truly superb with little grammer mistakes and although there was a normal plot twist it was still good.
At the point where Twilight asks why Pinkie is singing, you make mention of Acrylic reminding her if something. But that something is never mentioned so Acrylic is taking credit for something that, to the reader, never happened.
On my phone so can't do a better job.
"Too"
Interesting so far. I am always a little dubious about stories like these. The OC has a habit of becoming a Mary Sue.
I think this should be "thou".
"Not"
Didn't catch Dr. Whooves unfortunately.
idk how to feel about her forgiving them for all the stuff thats happened but whateves
There has been a couple grammatical errors, but FiMFic has been a butt about laptops being closed and certificate times not matching recently. This leads to everything I typed being deleted.
This seems like pushing things too far. It's like thestrals have NO detractions other than having a bad history. They are more maneuverable than pegasi, have bigger wings, can control a sort of flame, have night vision, are friends with dragons, can sit in lava, and they can hide all of this at will. Oh, they sometimes have pop outs, but that is a very minor detraction. I like the character, but the species is killing the story for me.
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Reason for 'overpowered' thestrals is explained in the (incredibly long) sequel. You're right, but there is a reason.
Also, thanks so much for all the edits. They've been fixed.
Now you need to explain Discord's absence as well as Luna's.
Kinda waiting for some more Mary Sue-ness you hit, but I am holding out hope.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/52631___safe_rainbow-dash_animated_unamused.gif
Has knowledge about something the alicorn sisters really don't. Hmmmmm.
Odd sentence for a bit of an OP pony.
Somehow knows the changeling queen's name.
Dried leaves, deep in a cave. Would be more likely to find wooden supports or an old torch.
Thank you for not having her kick down the wall.
Even if the Mane 6 are the Elements, Acrylic seems like she could take them all on 2 at a time.
And now Celestia knows Chrysalis' name!
Interesting how hiding a secret about one's self is not a traitorous act.
Cause thestrals are over powered in this story.
There should have been some lead up to this. It seems to come out of nowhere from her being anxious and seemingly ready to cave; not lead the conversation.
They go from suspecting and fearing to knowing in just a couple lines.
All because of a very real fear; at this point hiding is completely justified. The sisters are only making a case against themselves.
When did AJ become such a bitch? She basically does the same thing later with the rodeo competition.
So, that means NMM shouldn't have happened and if Celly and Luna have kids they die?
But the real Acrylic was never gone, bad logic there Sparkle. Bad logic.
But sending her to the moon is fine? Unlike the show, AJ is being the Element of Hypocrisy and not Dash.
I think bad logic and conclusions seems to be railroading this story.