Judge Celestia: Upon the Throne of Justice
Part 4: The Most Hated Stallion
Noble Cause looked to one side of the courtroom, then the other. Seated behind one table was a single, crabby looking old stallion. His cutie-mark was a crying eye. On the other side was… how many had the paperwork said? Two-hundred and twenty plaintiffs? Why Celestia had agreed to this circus was beyond him, but the sudden out-pouring of cases against this singular stallion had caught the royal eye, and the white alicorn had commanded all of them be brought forth at the same time.
The massive stack of folders next to the baliff took up an entire long table. He had no idea which one to grab first, they all had the same case-date-sun-number! “Er…” the armored stallion murmured worriedly. Going down the dais and away from her Majesty, the stallion went over to the elderly stallion. Checking his paperwork, he spoke, “Mister… Tear Jerker, is it?” he asked, looking up. “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you Twilight?”
The stallion raised his right hoof and put it on the law book the guard was holding out for him. “I’ll swear by Celestia, thank you! I don’t care what those new zealots are saying about that purple pansy in Ponyville!” the stallion snapped angrily. Noble Cause cocked his head. Twilight was often sworn by in court as the alicorn of Books, Learning and Knowledge-- Law as well. To scorn her name was an insult to the court. Noble Cause glanced over his shoulder at Celestia. The white alicorn nodded once, neutral in the face.
Dreading this moment, Noble Cause went to the Plaintiff’s table. Two hundred ponies filled the right side of the courtroom (the audience had to stay out today, to make room for them all). He coughed twice, stamping a hoof for attention. “Everypony raise your right hoof!” he waited for the crowd to follow. Flapping his wings to be up where everypony could see him, he raised his voice again. “Do you… erm… do you ALL swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you Twilight?!” he called out over them.
“YES!” the crowd concussed animatedly.
“Good!” he said, adjusting himself in midair to land. He checked the guards around the room. There were more than usual since it was such an unusual case, but everypony seemed awake and attentive at the moment, so it was safe. Returning to the dais, he went up and looked forlornly at the long-table. Taking a random folder, he turned and took it to Celestia.
The white alicorn took it, smiling at her baliff . Her large hoof passed over his smaller one, but nopony else was close enough to see. He gulped embarrassedly, returning to his post with a rather happy shiver. “Bright Bushy?” Celestia called.
“Here!” an earth pony mare elated. Stumbling out of the gaggle of plaintiffs she came to the table to be seen and heard properly.
“Ahem,” Celestia said, turning to address the grey older stallion. “Your name and vocation please, sir, for the court?”
“I’m Tear Jerker, author,” the unicorn stallion said gruffily. He lowered himself before her with some effort, bowing in a rather creaky way that made his back pop. It was an effort for Celestia not to wince, for his knobbly knees were a-quiver as he righted himself. “I wrote quite a few books in my time. Pretty successful if’n I do say so myself. I retired thirty-some-odd years ago.”
“And you, Bright Bushy? What is your profession?” Celestia asked, looking over at the mare.
“Gardening. I grow tomatoes, mostly,” Bright Bushy bowed before her highness.
“And you claim, Miss Bushy, that Tear Jerker…” she double-checked her paperwork, “Stole the tomato garden next to your house?”
“Yes’m,” she nodded firmly.
“That’s… hard to do, I imagine. How did he do that?” Celestia wondered.
“He came to me one day, outta the blue, saying my fence was in the wrong spot,” Bright Bushy said. “By the end of the afternoon he’d moved it by magic, and my garden was on the wrong side of my own fence!”
“Did you ask him about it? That is your livelihood after all.” Celestia said.
“I did, but he just yelled at me to get off his property!” Bright Bushy said, muzzle scrunched. “When I tried to transplant my tomato plants with pots and stuff, he chased me off with a stick!”
“A stick?” Celestia said, rather shocked.
“Yeah, then he sent me some paper that said it was all his now. I planted that garden, its mine!” Bright Bushy said, stamping a hoof. “He’s eatin’ my tomatoes that I grew!”
Celestia looked over at Tear Jerker, who nodded solemnly. “May I see this paper, Miss Bushy?” the alicorn asked. Noble Cause went to fetch it, and she looked it over. Ah, a land title deed. It was a standard legal document with a few phrases highlighted. Phrases like ‘as is’ and ‘including all resources, both natural and supernatural’ were highlighted extra hard. It was pretty binding. “What prompted you to suddenly want to move the fence, Tear Jerker?” Celestia asked gently.
“Tax season came around, and I noticed I was bein’ taxed for more land than I had. So I went to the hall of records to find a hard copy of my land’s deed and it showed where all the borders were, in black’n’white,” the elderly stallion said. “If she built a garden on my property that’s her own fault.”
“I see,” Celestia said, setting the paper aside. “You may step down, Miss Bushy. I will reveal my verdict at the end of this…” she made a sweeping gesture to the vast crowd out for Tear Jerker’s blood. “Case,” she finished plainly. Bushy bowed and was away. Celestia eyed the elderly stallion as she called the next pony forward, “Baby Bouncer?”
“Here!” Another mare came forward, with a heart and bottle on her flank. She was young in the face and just looking at her Celestia could see her big heart. “I’m Baby Bouncer, I run a daycare and sometimes a preschool in the proper seasons.” She introduced herself with a bow.
“According to your complaint, Tear Jerker contributed to the harm of a foal under your watch?” Celestia read the synopsis in a flash.
“Yes! I was out with only two foals that day, it was winter you see,” Baby Bouncer said. “My son, and his little friend.”
“Mhm?”
“I saw a charity collecting on the corner, but there was a splotch of ice in the way and I didn’t want my foals walking on it and falling and hurting themselves. I saw Mister Jerker sitting on a nearby bench with a coffee, and set my foals there.”
“Mhm?”
“I asked if he would watch them for a moment while I went to donate,” she gestured to one side.
“And what did he say?”
“Er… nothing really,” Baby Bouncer said.
“Then what happened?” Celestia asked.
“I went to put ten bits in the charity bin, and when I turned around my children were in the middle of the street!” Baby Bouncer elated. “Wandering around! My son was almost hit by a rushing carriage, he gave that cabbie a heart attack!”
“Was anypony hurt?” Celestia asked.
“No, but I’m suing for Foal Endangerment! I left them for ten seconds and they were out playing in traffic! He should’ve stopped them!” The young-faced mother squealed.
Celestia looked over at Tear Jerker. “Have you anything to say, Mister Jerker?”
“Her kids ain’t my responsibility.” The elderly stallion snarked. “I didn’t say I’d watch ‘em, and if they’re dumb enough to run and play in traffic maybe that’s for the better. Less dumb kids, make room for the smart foals that’ll survive in the real world.”
“You’re a monster! They weren’t even old enough to talk yet!” Miss Bouncer shrieked. “Who would wish that on a foal?!” she thrust an accusing hoof at him to make sure Celestia could see what a horrible pony he was.
“Thank you, that will be all Baby Bouncer,” Celestia said, nodding a bit. The flushed, nearly tearful mother bowed and quickly returned to the fold that was the massive plaintiff pool.
And so it was that the day wore on, case after case, complaint after complaint, all of them aimed at Tear Jerker. He had a perfectly snarky, mean-spirited, or plainly legal response for each and every one of them. Celestia watched the endless march of one pony after another, one slight or damage or shouting match after another. A same-sex couple that he’d shouted at in a park for smooching in broad-daylight. A repair pony that just couldn’t make a repair perfect enough for him. A painter that couldn’t make his house just the right shade of white and grey. There was a cemetery keeper that condemned him for spitting on somepony’s grave (somepony he’d hated). A pony that sold cigars who was always sworn and yelled at for carding the elderly stallion (it was the law, regardless of age). A group of students who were making a banner on the sidewalk that he’d walked over, smearing it to nothingness. There seemed to be no end in sight for the mountain of hate for this single pony. But, each of them was met with a perfectly legal response or rebuke on his part.
“What did you do before you retired to write books, Tear Jerker?” Celestia asked after the hundred-pony mark.
“I studied law, of course,” the elderly stallion smirked a bit. Ah. That explained it.
The sun had long set by the time the two-hundred-and-twentieth pony had come before Celestia with a problem with Tear Jerker-- A trio of Phillies that he’d taken a switch to for exploring his backyard without his permission (represented by an angry older sibling). Several of his cases had been simple trespassing, perfectly within his defense of home and property rights. The alicorn sighed when at last every case had been heard, and the judgement was to be made.
“I will question the defendant a bit more, and then make my ruling,” Celestia announced, stamping a hoof for quiet. “Tear Jerker, have you ever heard of the Spirit of the Law?”
“Yes, it’s a book,” Tear Jerker said. “A pony wrote it to describe the motivations of the equestrian citizen and to dictate the powers of the government in black and white, according to its own definitions.” He smiled rather fondly at the thought of the book. He did enjoy worming his way along in legal speak and terms.
“Then you certainly know the difference in law between a Diarchy and a Despotist government?” Celestia’s tone shifted just a little. Noble Cause’s ear turned. There was that shift again. The one he sometimes heard when Celestia was about to make her checkmate move in a case.
“Er, yes of course,” the stallion thought for a few long moments, as if trying to recall. “It dictates that a Diarchy is bound by the laws it creates, and a Despotist Government… that the powers are above the law.” His ears slowly wilted down as he spoke. “That they can do whatever they like, to the point of cruel oppression.” The crowd behind the plaintiff’s table jeered, and there was eager murmuring, wondering what sort of lightning the Princess would call down on him for all these slights against them.
“I imagine the entire town must know your name, Tear Jerker,” Celestia sighed softly, giving Noble Cause the stack of folders next to her. The baliff bowed and returned them to the table.
“I don’t care if they do,” the stallion said, shaking his head.
“I don’t think you understand, my little pony,” Celestia’s eyes were soft, in a way. “I am, and always will be, half of a Diarchist government. Therefore I am bound by the laws that run Equestria, as the Spirit of the Law so elegantly says.” She lowered her voice for a moment, shaking her head at the stallion. Was that… pity, in her eyes? “If it were within my legal powers to punish you, I would,” she admitted wistfully, turning her head to one side with a rather guilty expression. “Like a mother to her foal, I would punish and embarrass you for all these slights. But I cannot. You have caused so much misery amongst my little ponies, you have no idea. Or rather, I believe you do, and I believe you revel in it.” Celestia said, looking at the rather poisonous creature. “Your community at large seems to revile you. Therefore I must hand down the most terrible punishment imaginable to you, without leeway or leniency—within the bounds of the Diarchy of Equestria.”
The stallion’s pupils shrank into dots at the mention of punishment. “Wh-what do you mean?” The jeering in the crowd to the right increased. They couldn’t wait to hear the sentence handed down. Ponies across Equestria, listening in on the radio, waited with baited breath.
“As you have not explicitly broken any laws that I can see-- in each and every case brought before me today, I find you innocent of all charges.”
The explosion of shouting and anger and disbelief knocked out more than a few radios all across Equestria. The windowsills shook, the palace staff panicked, and another squad of guards flooded the room to herd the angry mob away. Two-hundred and twenty shouting ponies were forced from the courtroom, a few arrests were made, and one guard got a black eye for his trouble.
When at long last there was quiet only Celestia, Noble Cause, and Tear Jerker remained. The silence resounded like a tomb, there in the throne room. The alicorn would not let go of Tear Jerker’s gaze. She merely stared at him—wondered if the implications had set in yet. “Thank you, your majesty,” the elderly stallion said in awe. With that, he slowly walked from the courtroom— all alone. Celestia hung her head.
There was a long silence. Noble Cause turned to look at her. She chanced a glance up at him. His eyes bore both confusion and concern. He didn’t quite understand, but he did not voice it. It was her Majesty’s court, not his. She jumped when she saw Luna in the doorway, “Sister,” Luna said, looking at her with awe. “I was listening on the radio— I’ve not heard such cruelty from you in a long time.”
“E-Excuse me a moment, I’ll clean myself up and come to dinner,” Celestia turned rather quickly to go to her chambers behind the throne.
Noble Cause watched her go.
Luna walked to stand beside Noble Cause, watching Celestia quickly shut the door behind herself. The slight jar of the frame said the mighty alicorn was leaning against it on the inside. “We expect thee to be extra charming at tonight’s dinner, to cheer her up,” Luna bade him a warning, scowling at Noble’s handsome face.
“Dinner?!” he asked, wings blimping open in shock.
“The one you’ll be attending with us tonight,” Luna nodded to make it official. “She will need many confections and your pleasant male company after what she just did. Think of yourself as comfort food, stallion, for a sad mare.”
“What she just did…?” Noble murmured, still not comprehending.
“She could’ve punished him. She should have punished him. But, that miserable stallion was within the bounds of the law on every count, with every complaint, each and every time,” Luna told him. “He was not, legally, guilty of any crimes.”
“But all those ponies--!”
“Will hate him for the rest of his miserable life,” Luna said gravely. Silence let the sentence sink in. “He could have worked with his community, found some middle ground, but neigh, he used the law to not only start problems, but to enflame them around himself— and got away with it.” The dark alicorn sighed. “My sister was far crueler— rather than punishing him with some obscure public menace law— letting him punish himself. He will die, old and alone and miserable, in his home. And nopony will care. Ever. They will only hate his memory,” she shook her head with a sigh.
Noble Cause wilted, staring at the door of Celestia’s judge chambers. “That’s so sad…” he murmured softly, ears going down.
“Yes, and my sister bears that burden now.” Luna said, turning to look at him. “Call her a cute name at dinner, yes? She went by ‘Cellie’ when she was a teenage filly. She might like that.”
“Er-right!” Noble Cause said, nodding and bowing. “I’ll be there as soon as I’ve scrubbed and turned in my gear, your Majesty!” He turned and marched away. It didn’t really hit him that he’d been invited to a royal dinner until about halfway through his shower, much less what that really meant. “Extra-charming…” he murmured as he rinsed his mane. Tear Jerker’s fate kept replaying in his head, over and over again, along with Celestia's expression. Her poor eyes had been so soft in that moment of judgement delivery. She'd known exactly what she was doing, and she'd hated it. “She really does care for all of us, doesn’t she…?” he whispered. He watched the water drain at his hooves in thoughtful silence for a long, long time
He kind of wanted to care for her now. More than just a guard or a baliff. He smiled bashfully to himself, staring up at the raining showerhead. Dinner would be a good place to start.
End of Case #4
I have to admit, the mother was in the wrong for leaving her foals with a complete stranger.
So Tear Jerkoff has diplomatic immunity?!
Wait wait wait. Did it say he took a switch to some foals that were on his property? Surely you can't do that?! That would be assault, or foal abuse, even if it is in response to trespassing, right?
5057439 Yes. And while I understand her reason for giving out the punishment, it doesn't really fit with the idea of harmony. That ruling will lead to resentment, both against the bastard and against the one who gave it down. The Princess will hear no end to the demands for this to be reconsidered. And Tear Jerker will no doubt be stalked by ponies for the rest of his life, trying to do something against him where the law will not be able to see.
5057439 I doubt it. What he seemed to have was a good understanding of the law and technically didn't do anything illegal so he had to be found innocent. Only thing he's really guilty of is being the D word and that's not illegal, just mean. He'll punish himself for the rest of his days as he grows old and dies alone, bitter and miserable and the worst part is he'd care less.
5057439
Imagine if neighbor went on to your property and planted a garden when they thought the land was theirs. Say you wanted to put a birdbath there. Since it is your property you could remove the garden, inform your of their mistake and work together to fix it, or any number of things. However tear jerker went the worst way by claiming the garden is now his because it is on his land. Legal but mean and cruel, like all of his charges
Wow...dark...poor Tia...
5057439
No. He didn't actually do anything illegal. Mean spirited, cruel, and hateful, but not illegal.
While I did enjoy this chapter, I'm not sure I can connect the dots between Celestia's judgment and Luna's interpretation of it, even if we're to trust that it's correct. The old pony himself was in awe, correct? Did he understand Celestia's thought process as Luna did, or was he just grateful or thankful for it? Maybe this chapter was just too smart for me.
I absolutely understand that Celestia could do nothing since he didn't break the law. I'm not objecting to that. I just think it's bullcrap to think Tear Jerker is being punished in any way, shape, or form. Tear Jerker is clearly a pony who "revels" in other pony's misery. He enjoys their suffering. He has his own opinions and forces everypony to listen. When needed, he doesn't answer. When treated with kindness, he'd probably spit. When given company, he shoves a clear, solid black line to keep them out. His name is Tear Jerker! His cutie mark is making other ponies miserable and or unhappy after running in to him!
Again, I get that Celestia couldn't do anything since he broke no law, but why the hell does she feel bad?! So what if he dies isolated and hated by his community?! He is clearly pleased with his life! I can see why Celestia would have pity but not downright depression!
5057387 Yeah. He was a butthole about it, obviously, but she pushed tiny foals (too young to talk) on a complete stranger without his consent, then sued him when he didn't keep them out of the street. Not reasonable.
So uh...is that teacher going to be punished for leaving a bunch of foals alone with a stranger, and then trying to blame it on him? No? Foal endangerment isn't something illegal? It has to be brought to court by a concerned citizen even if the Equestrian government knows about it?
And Celestia would really punish him if she could? Even though he did nothing illegal? So she believes in punishing people who do things that go against her own personal view of the world? That anyone not conforming to how she believes the world should be deserves to die alone and should be punished without actually committing any crimes?
I think...I think I'm starting to hate this version of Celestia.
I'm going to play devil's advocate here. What's stopping Tear Jerker from continuing to perform horrible yet legal actions because surprise, surprise, he isn't punishing himself? In Celestia's eyes, it's a horrible punishment, but for Tear Jerker, an unishment. He may just continue to perform such actions, knowing that he 'got off' before.
...
But then again...this trial was broadcast across the country. Who's to say Tear Jerker is the only pony to perform such actions?
I found something minor in this chapter that you may want to edit.
Wow that's a terrible punishment he just doesn't realize it yet. The whole town can. Just pull what they did to Zecora to him and starve him out of town except the tomatoes from "his garden". The merchants could also charge him a lot more like they tried with fluttershy. Not to mention since this is on radio other towns will know his name and may decided to dothe same thing. Celestia just black listed the poor dumb sap. Lol but I did love how she made him sweat with telling him about what she could've done to him.
5057810
don't worry, Equestria has a hard counter for ponies like Tear Jerker;
Pinkie Pie
5058170
No, no, he got it right. It was indeed a trio of Phillies he chased off with a switch.
img.bleacherreport.net/img/slides/photos/002/359/267/83077980_crop_north.jpg?w=630&h=420&q=75
Having been in property disputes before I can say that you do have to go through the proper channels to confirm where the boundery lies so if nothing else a review and order to return the tomatos would be in order.
The mother made a poor judgement call.
And the phillies tresspassing is a count of assult or child abuse depending on the age of the foals in question.
Celestia's punishment was clever and harsh. But the intended victim won't see it as such and will lead a miserably happy life as a result. Plus with all the accounts of actual charges she just glossed over this chapter fell flat for me.
5057439
Nah, He just did'nt broke any laws. But there will care nobody when something happens to him.
Yay, Aegis is back in some writing
This wasn't really a punishment. Tear Jerker doesn't care if he dies alone and unloved, he got off scot-free in his mind. He'll just continue being an ass to the rest of the town, and this feels like a punishment to those around him. At least have him punished for using a switch of some fillies. Even with trespassing, that would still bring up child abuse or assault charges.
The tomato one seems fishy. Surely a judge could find a way to give the mare back what is rightfully hers. Not her fault the fence was constructed wrong for years. Anyone could see that he doesn't really have the right to steal her plants just because the fence was mislaid.
Celestia could've easily used the "spirit of the law" excuse to dispense some actual legal justice. The justice system clearly failed on this case.
5058213
Merchant's aren't obligated to sell anyone anything. And after it's gone on national radio, I expect even big chains would refuse to serve him, for fear or tarnishing their own image.
He's just been ostracized from everything. He will be utterly alone.
I really liked the worldbuilding with ponies swearing on Twilight. That really seems like one of your big strengths, interesting worldbuilding(looking at you, Lunar Stallions.) I also loved Luna's relationship with Noble Cause. I'm looking forward to the developing relationship between Celestia and NC, and of course there's the joy I feel whenever you post something(I've loved all your ponyfics, with the exception of Seeing the Pattern, which is on my Read Later list. The original reason I made a FimFic account was to favorite Spartan Stallion)
One question, if you don't mind: is there a reason(I assume real-life commitments) your writing pace has cooled?
5058651 Damn...that sucks.
5059109
Well, that's what happens when you're a dick to everyone around you.
Besides which, he can always move to another town and change his name.
5059111 Yeah, but still. I can't see him making it very far anyway. I'd give it about a day before a few of the ones he wronged take it upon themselves to dispense justice.
Even though he's a dick I still feel sorry for him as well, especially the day he wakes up and realized the implications of his "punishment."
5059123
He still has the option of going to each pony, apologize, and try and explain his reasons for acting the way he did.
But...yeah, I kinda feel sorry for him too. On the other hand, everything that's going to happen to him is largely self-inflicted.
5058635
Ponies are herd animals, the need to be around others is ingrained in their brains, even more so than humans. Tear Jerker thinks he isn't being punished, and for a while it won't seem like it to him. This is a slow burn punishment, with lots of tiny cumulative effects, Jerker thinks he won, thinks he doesn't need to depend on anyone so long as he has the shield of the law. He has how ever made himself the antagonist of his community, the ponies will go out of their way to avoid him, when he needs something he won't get any help doing it anymore, service providers will refuse to work for him, children will make themselves nuisances. Justice and punishment aren't about instant retribution, this guy will be punished again and again over the rest of his life. It doesn't feel like he got punished, but his victims will make sure it does.
A few of the listed items he is in the right. But a few are not:
The fence moving is "Larceny" (10 U.S.C. 921 (a)(2)) since the garden was not planted when he purchased the property and thus is not counted since it was added afterward, and when he moved the fence he failed to warn her to move the plants thus he stole them.
His verbal abuse on the gay ponies in the park is "Assault" (25 C.F.R. 11.400 (a)(3)) and "Harassment" (36 C.F.R. 2.31 (a)(4)).
The destruction of the school banner being worked on is "Vandalism" (36 C.F.R. 2.31 (a)(3)), irregardless if it was in a public sidewalk or not - sidewalks are public access and thus they had a right to be there. One could also say that they were conducting work for the city as public schools are publicly funded.
His constant failure to work with the local authorities and maintain the public peace due to his actions is "Disturbing the Peace" and "Causing a Public Disturbance". The laws vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction but generally include ... everything that he did. A century ago in the United States he would have been lashed to a Railroad Tie and hauled out of town and dumped on the side of the road (Run out on a Rail) where he would be banned from returning or face Arrest and Imprisonment for Trespassing.
Today a Police Officer would be called and the Officer would tell him to apologize and leave the area peacefully. When he complains that he is legally in the right the Officer would tell him that he does not have the right to be a Public Nuisance and that the Officer has the responsibility to protect the Peace - which he is a threat to.
5058882 The explosive success of my personal Youtube Channel has slowed my writing quite a bit, but I'm still here. :)
5058635 Aye, but his whole town knows his name. Merchants and the like could refuse him service and so on and so forth. He may be utterly alone now, it just won't hit him till later.
5057471 "good" doesn't always mean "nice" unfortunately. Celestia sticks to the books, even if it leads to madness like this chapter. She sees herself as bound by it.
5058083 Celestia wanted to punish him for using the law as a shield. Its the intent and spirit of things that she was angry about. He KNEW he was making others miserable and didn't give a damn. She believes in goodness, harmony and putting things right-- the law doesn't always agree to the letter.
5058635 Celestia dealt out the worst punishment she possibly could have-- doing nothing at all. Even if Tear Jerker doesn't realize it till much later, he's basically blacklisted for life. To everypony in his entire town. The sheer number of people that won't serve him goods and services will hammer it home in the coming months, no doubt. That was just about as cruel as I could EVER make Celestia.
Evidently, Equestria has yet to invent the class action lawsuit.
Twilight: Oh sure, drag MY name into this...
Celestia: It's called "walking a mile in my horseshoes", my faithful student. Deal with it.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, at least they're swearing ON you instead of just AT you now.
Earned -2 Reputation points!
Do I spy yet ANOTHER new name for Love Tap/Milano?
Little error there.
Did...did she just deliberately set him up to be lynched?
Or they'll lynch him. Which seems to be the most likely outcome. God knows if I were one of those plaintiffs, I'd be out shopping for a chainsaw...
fillies
_______________
Equestrian
__________________
5060136
Two horrifying truths of small communities:
1) Never piss off a person / pony who owns a pig farm [or knows someone who does]
and
2) That place can bury your body and noone will ever find you.
So yeah, he's screwed. Even if they are Celestia Fearing Equestrians. They can do so much to mess him up passive-aggressively with in the law. That'll make his life Tartarus. I bet when he does die, it'll be slightly different than what Luna said. Since they'd probably throw a city wide celebration before throwing his corpse into the Everfree for creatures to pick it apart.
I sort of expected this ruling... every now and again, someone will be an absolute terror to everyone around them... and legally, they're invincible. Societally, on the other hoof... noooooot so much.
Also... extra-charming. Oh my
5059308 Human laws for a human world.
I guess I am alone cause part of me understands where Tear Jerker is coming from.
for example if I was paying property taxes for someone's business I would want it off my property as well.
a different solution for that one would have been to allow (or force) her to buy the property from him so she could pay her own taxes instead of making him do it.
The kids in his back yard?
He is legally responsible for anything that happens on his property so if he does not want to pay their medical bills he Must kick them off his property ASAP. Anything else is accepting responsibility/liability for the children.
the couple in the park?
Its a public place and I would not want to have to see a gay couple make out any more than I would want to be forced to see a hetero couple make out. If they want to do that maby they could do it in private instead of public places.
everyone else ...If they dont like him they are perfectly free to ask him to take his business elsewhere. no court of law necessary. I have no sympathy for them.
5063605 he assaulted the three with a dangerous weapon, assault and battery
5063692
They were on his property without his permission ... they kind of deserved it ...
If the three were the CMC there is no telling what they would have destroyed while they were doing... whatever it is that the CMC does ...
5063862 the worst the can do is light his water on fire
5063984
Please, do you REALLY think that's the WORST the CMC could do? Also, again, they were on his property illegally. A dude's well within his rights to kick their butts for that kind of delinquent (and just plain socialist) behavior.
5063605
Yeah, this chapter is kind of retarded. You have all these butthurt (or in the case of that gay couple, assuming they were dudes, 'buttjoy') ponies willing to take a guy to court for some of the most frivolous and dumb ass shit that's so petty that not even the ponies from the actual show wouldn't (and considering the dumb ass petty shit they bicker over, that's no small feat) partake in and only the fandom could come up with and somehow this chapter is supposed to be about how the cragedy old man is the asshole. At least he was entertaining! Jeez, that mother was stupid.
I was enjoying this chapter, but Luna's grandiose speech at the end really pulled it down. Aegis Shield's always had the problem of telling and not showing, and it hasn't improved since his earliest works.
Luna explaining so much is unnesecary for the audience, but the other problem is who she's talking to. I could understand if she were giving that pointed explanation to a foal. But Noble Cause is a dolt if he's not capable of deducing most of this himself, especially after being a witness to so many legal scenarios. It's actually kind of disturbing that he's been assigned as a courtroom bailiff. Actually, that could perhaps be seen as biting social commentary. But this is the guy who's getting shipped with Princess Celestia! Which is another one of Aegis's tropes: well-meaning doofuses who end up with princesses on the virtues of nobility and duty.
Machiavelli would be proud
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Actually, he was within his rights right up until he committed assault, and in some of the cases he was actually abusing the letter of the law--for example, with the property line if it'd been taken to court before he moved the fence then the official records are what would have been altered if it'd been long enough before he'd spoken up...which is probably why he didn't, and moved the fence instead. (This is actually a reason to make sure fences are properly placed, both to avoid losing land and avoid finding out you are now the happy owner of undesirable land--hey, if they'd sold it, they'd have had to tell you, but if you just trot off with it and they don't bother complaining...)
If I lived there, I don't think I would like being constantly belittled as 'her little pony'.
Cap.
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Cap.
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Ah! But it's a common saying in Equestria. And technically it's a term of endearment for younger ponies.
Oh, so Flash Sentry v Blueblood?
Of course, the Dream Realm has no such restraints. Nighty night & pleasant dreams.
IRL, the usual response to such things is Shunning. No one buys from him, sells to him, or ever speaks to him again.
He didn't audibly refuse. In law, "silence implies consent".