Applejack is 200 years old, making her middle aged for the long lived earth ponies. Since her friend Twilight mysteriously vanished 160 years ago she's done her best to build a new life, working with Celestia's new students and the new Elements of Harmony to defend Equestria in the modern world... Now Twilight is back, and she has no clue what to do.
Making matters worse, a monster of a stallion named Slice is carving his way through the city of Ponyville, stealing dangerous magical artifacts. Can AJ lead her new team of heroes to victory with her old leader staring over her shoulder and reminding her of all she's lost?
Chapters (20)
Enjoying this, so far. I get the feeling we're going to be mired in The Sads for a few more chapters, but I suppose there's no getting around that. Looking forward to learning more about the new Elements of the next generation.
One thing: can you put spaces between each paragraph? It's a bit odd how all the text is smooshed together like it is.
4601435
Fixed! Thank you for letting me know about the spacing issue.
Also don't worry. There might be a little bit of levity soon.
Actually it's a lot better than I thought it would be. My only real complaint, other than that awful MS Paint title picture, is your chapters are too short. You should be aiming for at least 1000 words at a bare minimum per chapter. 1200 is closer to what I recommend but I know it's not always possible so you should aim for 1000.
I also question a pony with the name of Derrick. Why have a character with a human name? Or did I skim over the fact that he's a griffon or something? Anyway, not bad but please for the love of Celestia, change that cover picture. I believe some of your thumbs down are coming from that.
4602524 He is, in fact, a griffon, Yeah I know the cover picture isn't great. I'm not all that artistically gifted XD.
This...this is interesting. Please, keep it up!
4889030
If you have suggestions for improvements don't hesitate to put them out there, I'm trying to keep leaning
4889030 Another possibility is the simple fact that a Derrick is a jib crane on a sailing ship, the tower-like framework on an oil well, and a pivoting boom for lifting cargo. Thus, he could be named after any one of those in a high-tech Equestria.
I love how the Elements of Harmony went from happy go lucky ponies to neighvy Seals.
This story needs more likes than it is given. Keep up the good work!
4904606
Thanks! I'm having a lot of fun with this one!
4907602 Yea when i saw the AJ had a 1911 I squealed! Finally someone gave AJ a gun! although i was hoping for akimbo gold Deagles.
4907602 Also, Can't wait for more!
Sleeping bag???
Also YAY!!!!!
I love this story! Keep up the good work!
4935784
She has broken ribs and Spike's rather armor plated. She will need padding.
PS: Thank You!!!
4935793 Ahh ok... That makes sense.img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130428070238/mlpfanart/images/2/22/Sweetie_Belle_%22seems_legit%22_reaction_image.png
Slooooooooooooowly making my way through this fic. This was a good chapter.
Dawwww...
Yay! New chapter!
Hmmmmm.... I wonder what is going to happen.
5012898
I had a lot of fun making that one.
5014544
I'm addicted to cliff-hangers.
Love the story idea but in general for me it's too fast paced and the chapter are WAY to short but these are just my opinion
5574644
Yeah, I admit one of my flaws as a writer is that I always want to hurl stuff out there. If it's any consolation the next few chapters are going to be much more chill.
oh nice going old timer! talk about unresolved PTSD.
5911306
Yeah... AJ's seen a lot of junk. She was just trying to keep her friend safe though... (This is based on a reaction I got from an NRA instructor at a shooting range when I picked up an empty clip.)
5911445 he screamed at you about how doing that killed someone in the past?
5911306
Applejack doesn't seem like the type to go into a counseling session, but maybe she would benefit from EMDR.
5911624 well i admit i would not expect her to go in by her won free will, but i'm surprised that the princess didn't make her do it! to me, it'd make sense that she wouldn't want AJ to be mentally compromised in any way. she leads the elements of harmony, and runs what is apparent;y a very large company and training center. so why did she seem to think that leaving her to her own devices was a good idea?
5911633
You'll just have to see how things progress :)
5911526
Not Quite. I picked up an empty clip when the range was cold and this was considered just straight up grabbing a gun, which is a HUGE no-no. Those folks don't mess around. Also it was a girl.
5912196 grabbing a gun or going down range before the all clear is called is dangerous. Likewise assuming a gun is empty or loaded without verifying it yourself.. I'm sorry picking up an empty clip is not dangerous unless you hit someone with it or throw it at someone.
Otherwise good chapter.
I doubt Twilight was thinking she teleported to the one place she instinctively knew. Instinct is an interesting thing generally its there to save us by reacting before we can really think.
Maybe its necessary for the story but why in the heck do you have normal ponies guarding Tartarus. I mean Cerberus is guarding the gate and you have prisoners like Tirek. This is the place for prisoners that pose a serious threat to all of Equestria
6159893 It's a matter of throwing everything, but the kitchen sink at the problem. Those guards were meant to keep the place maintained and provide warning...
Those were front line soldiers. They new the risks... Heaven help any more that get in Slice's way.
6361382
Glad you're enjoying it!
I was just re-reading this and noticed in the main body you called Pauldron Security Blanket's finance and they are planning a wedding. Then at the end you called him her husband
DARN it these chapters are too short and it takes FOREVER between updates
6519879
If it makes you feel any better I'm getting a lot more into this story recently so you should see more soon.
I would love to see more Pinkie and more about Pinkie in this. Seeing her future is always really interesting for me.
A wild twilight appeared
6522424
Applejack is out of usable ponymon!
Applejack blacked out.
Yea more updates. No sure what to say about Applejack did she think or maybe hope Luna would forget her promise.. Maybe some EON Twilight will realize there are somethings she is better off not knowing
6525630
But is it really any worse than honey? Really?
6525926 beyond the fact its on the ground sounds quite a lot like honey. Just saying there are times knowing everything about something can ruin your enjoyment of something
VEry interesting glad to see more updates. Applejack isn't alone society teaches us not to sure our problems to deal with them ourselves for various reasons. And yet many things keep pointing to the fact we all need someone to turn to
img02.deviantart.net/038a/i/2015/270/5/7/aj_catching_rays_by_hillbe-d9b6ek7.jpg
a vacation is in order,,,,,,
6554822
I... I'm sorry. It sounded like you implied the words Applejack and vacation could be used in some kind of cogent sentence.
I'm...
*Brain Shatters*
6554856 great story
a working vacation?
pre05.deviantart.net/956a/th/pre/f/2015/245/2/6/first_born_by_hillbe-d986vyb.jpg
Did Rares have a little one too?
All little love bugs?
Doc you saying my cheese done slid off my cracker?
Cheese!
Lesson Zero style crazed grin?
Clock is TICKING!!