Sparkle's No. 1 Assistant
Loyalty Mission 2: Neon Element
Pt. 3
By Wanderer D
Rim Shot stared miserably at the plans displayed in front of them.
“This… this could ruin my career!” Vinyl Scratch muttered. “And that’s nothing compared to the damage to property and the risk you’d be putting the crowds in… just to get back at me for going solo?”
“You were part of our group, what did you expect?” Rim Shot answered bitterly.
“Not this!” Vinyl screeched. “You guys are planning a massive explosion! The theatre could burn down! Sure, I guess I’d be stuck playing background music for things like fashion shows in backwater towns or something, but don’t you care how many ponies you would hurt if this went wrong?!”
“Ha! Nothing would go wrong!” Rim Shot insisted.
“Well,” Twilight Sparkle spoke up, making the drummer immediately curl into a small ball of panic. “If these explosives here, went off out of sequence, the whole structure could collapse in. The force of the blasts would turn Vinyl into mush, and the heat could immediately incinerate the front row. Not to mention the water you wanted to flood the floor with, would come in contact with a lot of damaged electric equipment. But I’m sure you already considered that.”
Rim Shot had paled, although he dared not speak.
Twilight continued, “Riff and Vocal Scale are the ones in control of the explosives so we should take them out first, but Deep Bass and Brass Valve will also be doing their thing with flooding the theatre with sewer water… what I don’t get is how you were going to make everypony think that Vinyl was responsible.”
Rim Shot mumbled something.
“What was that?” Wrex asked, lifting him up by the scruff of his the with no effort. “I thought I heard a pyjak squeak, something about not getting its limbs broken, I think.”
Rim Shot grimaced. “Okay! Okay. We… we stole samples of Vinyl’s mane to leave as evidence and Brass Valve said that she could resonate her magic to Vinyl’s to leave a convincing trail! We also forged a letter we were going to leave partly shredded in the trash bin of her room where she explained that she wanted to go out with a bang!”
“Seriously, all of this because you couldn’t make it on your own?” Twilight Sparkle shook her head. “This is just petty.”
“Are you going to push him out of the window like you told me Shepard did to that one guy?” Octavia asked Twilight.
“Nah,” Twilight shrugged. "The building isn’t high enough.”
“You ponies are crazy!!” Rim Shot shouted. “This is very illegal! I’m going to—mph! Mhphp!”
Vinyl gave the gag-balll one last, tightening pull before looking at the others. “Seriously guys, a lot of ponies could be hurt if this happens. We need to stop it!”
“Well, Rarity should be here soon,” Twilight said. “That will help, especially if she’s been practicing with the gun I gave her.”
“And I brought Viola,” Octavia said, drawing Vinyl’s attention to the black rectangular thing she pulled out. Vinyl’s eyes widened when the thing seemed to bend inside out to create a long-necked gun of some sort that was taller than Octavia was long.
“You named the Widow ‘Viola’?” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.
Octavia nodded standing on her back hooves and leaning slightly into the sniper rifle and caressed it with one hoof. “When I shoot it... it’s music to my ears,” she whispered.
“That’s so hot,” Vinyl and Twilight both muttered.
“Darling, I love your apartment!” Rarity cooed. “The location is perfect, the size manageable! But…” she grimaced. “You really shouldn’t party hard enough to destroy your furniture, dear.”
“But! That wasn’t me!” Vinyl whined. “My apartment’s sanctity was destroyed by my former band! I promise this place is kept clean and orderly!”
“Surprisingly so,” Octavia said. “I honestly expected this whole place to be a mess, with food cartons on the floor, cables on any conceivable surface and basically smelling of sweat.”
“Hey! That’s Twilight’s room! And yours!”
“Sorry, but you just gave me that sloppy impression.” Octavia smirked, undaunted.
“But… we’ve known each other for years!” Vinyl whined. "You should know better than anypony that I like my stuff in perfect order!"
“And yet, this is the first time I mustered the courage to visit your apartment,” Octavia said, patting Vinyl on the back. “I’m glad to say I’m pleasantly surprised.”
“Rarity!” Twilight exclaimed, walking into the living room with a smile. “How is my favorite designer?”
“Twilight, darling!” Rarity smiled in return. “I’m doing great, thank you for asking, I even had time to buy some new materials here in Canterlot! A trip is never wasted!” She giggled, levitating several rolls of fabric for them to see.
Twilight nodded, walking around Rarity and studying her. “Hey, where’s the M-6 Carnifex I gave you?”
“In a secure location, under lock inside a sturdy safe, protected by several spells including a repellant shield and a misdirection spell.”
Twilight’s eyes were wide. “B-but why would you do that to such a wonderful, beautiful weapon?”
“I have a young, naive sister,” Rarity retorted. “Who I very much want to keep away from our brand of crazy.”
“But! You need a weapon!!” Twilight whined. “You can’t be sexy without weapons!”
Rarity and Vinyl both slowly looked at Octavia, who shrugged. “It’s true.”
“Oh, don’t fret, Twilight,” Rarity said after a moment. “You have to understand, such a weapon in my home is a very dangerous thing to have, especially with Sweetie Belle and the other Crusaders thinking they can save the world, or get their cutie marks on marksmanship.” She sighed. “As much as I loved that little piece of metal-shooting doom, my sister’s safety and the fact that the color scheme clashed with my mane have forced me to take a step away from it for now, but I did not come empty-hoofed.”
Her magic glimmered around her horn and suddenly seven, sharp looking silvery daggers circled warily around her like silent guardians of death. “Diamond-tipped, mithril fighting daggers,” she explained as the others hummed in appreciation. "Crafted by warrior unicorns in the days of Queen Platinum.”
Twilight smiled, but it faded after a moment. “Well, those are nice, Rarity, but I don’t think they’ll be as effective as the Carnifex.”
“Oh, nonsense, dear!” Rarity giggled and suddenly three of the knives were gone, only for two ‘thwaks!’ to announce the destination of two of them on the wall. The third having gone straight through it.
A moment later, Wrex emerged from the kitchen, knife embedded on his shoulder through the armor. “Hey. Someone here lost their butter knife? I found it.”
"I'm so very sorry, Mr. Urdnot!" Rarity apologized once more.
"Nah." Wrex shrugged. "It's okay, I've gotten worse from a vorcha mercenary." He shifted and pulled the knife out. "I have to admit," he said, grudgingly. "You're pretty good at throwing pointy things if this one went through the wall and then through my shoulder armor."
"Well," Rarity preened. "I don't mean to brag..."
"But she will," Vinyl said.
"But I will, yes. I simply have a way with gems and design! After working with needles, a knife is not a problem."
This gave Wrex a pause. "Needles?"
Rarity tilted her head. Did-did Wrex sound slightly nervous? No, she decided. It was just her imagination. She looked around. "Where are Octavia and Twilight?"
"Knowing them?" Wrex spoke up. "I bet they're--"
"Getting ready," Twilight's voice interrupted, drawing everyone's attention to her and Octavia.
Rarity gasped.
"Heh." Wrex leaned on the table, nodding at Twilight. "Finally put it on, eh?"
Twilight wore a dark, body-tight suit with bulky combat armor on top, protecting her barrel, withers, chest and legs. The material seemed to be a combination of some sort of plastic mesh under the plates, what looked like leather (Rarity was hoping it wasn't) and the same material that made Wrex's armor. Her shoulder pads and metallic pieces of armor were decorated with a purple line that matched her mane through the middle with two thinner white lines on either side of it. A red 'N7' was painted on her chest plate.
Octavia had a suit made of similar material, although with much lighter armor and the lines on hers were a deep gray that matched her coat.
"Vinyl, darling, you're drooling," Rarity politely informed the DJ.
"But... so... hot!"
Rarity raised an eyebrow. "Well, yes I can see the sex appeal. But which of them do you mean?"
"Both."
Meanwhile, Wrex nodded at Octavia. "Nice armor, Miss Philharmonica."
"Why, thank you, Wrex! I think it goes well with string music, wine and guns."
Wrex's smile grew until he was showing as many pointy teeth as possible. "Ha! No wonder you and Sparkle here get along so well!"
"Rarity, your armor is in my room, it's the white one with the lines matching your mane."
Rarity blinked. "But... darling, I insist on designing my own armor!"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Fine, but tonight you need to wear the one that actually works. These ponies we're dealing with are terrorists and you know what we do with terrorists in Equestria."
Rarity's eyes centered resolutely on Twilight. "No, I don't. What do we do with terrorists in Equestria? Give them a slap on the back of the hoof and make them promise to the princess not to do it again?"
Wrex started laughing.
This whole paragraph seems incomplete.
5945205 gah. That's what I get for typing in a moving vehicle. Thanks.
5945213
Oughta try writing at home.
Oh yes, I missed the random hilarity of this story...
Also, this Octavia and Vinyl are hilarious.
Vinyl’’s eyes widened
“Diamond-tipped, mithril fighting daggers,” she explained as the others hummed in appreciation. Crafted by warrior unicorns in the days of Queen Platinum.”
protecting her barrel, withers chest and legs
1. Extra apostrophe.
2. Forgot you opening quotation mark here.
3. Forgot your comma. Unless Withers chest is actually a thing.
Let the fireworks... Wind up. It's not going to begin just yet I think. Just a hunch.
Octavia continues to prove her status as best not-so-background-anymore pony.
Well. Let's see some carnage.
5945236 I had a loooong day on the road. What I should have done is read the damn thing before posting!
5945357 Fixed! Thanks!
5945362 She was never a background pony. She just never had lines in the show.
5945266 Heh, glad you approve!
5945421
I like the way you think.
That last part is simply the fact that we should kill all zealots.
Not crazy people.
Zealots.
Wrex. *nods*
Sparkle. *nods*
Great update as always.
5945502
Oh my God, that gif is fucking glorious
I prefer the N7 Crusader over the Carnifex. Because who doesnt love firing a pea sized chunk of metal at Mach 7 through someones head. Yeah the round from the Crusader is second only to the Black Widow in size.
Ah, I remember kicking that guy out the window. Renegade for life
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Renegade+4+life+now+in+new+flavor+paragon_b7c4df_4597134.png
She's…she's joking, right? Please tell me Rarity's not that dumb.
And Twi/Vinyl/Octy best threesome.
Never stop, please never stop.
"Wrex."
"Sparkle."
"This whole thing so shouldn't work but it doesn't give a horseapple and does anyway."
"Heh."
Can...can you write a part for me in your story?
I could be a space pirate.
You could call me 'Harlock', so it'd be less obvious.
5945236
Yeah, that's much worse.
perfect.
Yeah, Twilight! You show them how Equestria deals with terrorists! *Dusts off moon cannon.*
You know, I was going to say that I can totally see Luna crushing on Wrex for being badass enough to wreck Nightmare Moon's shit without magical toys, but then I realized that was redundant because this is Wrex we are talking about. He is badass enough to get everyone crushing on him regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
D, I know my work hours are shit (literally at work on break right now), but you gotta let me edit, man! Before I go into work tomorrow, I'm gonna try to clean this up a bit more.
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Man... I love Mass Effect crossovers so much! This is great, the premise is very original, and the comedy is wonderfully irreverent. The seventh element: Badass lololololol
I desperately need that next chapter! I hope you don't take too long for it ^^
Oh why am I reminded of...
I'm not apologizing for the boner this story has given me.
This feels like this is missing a Dark tag.
5948476 prepares irbital frienship cannan
6107852 no, it's missing the badass tag
s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/3vobqu.jpg
Now I'm curious. What happened to Wrex?
6344223
If I recall it corect, Wrex has a phobia of needles (and doctors) since Mordin Solus took "some samples" of him in ME3.
6395098 And the fact that Mordin's scalpel wasn't meant to cut what he cut.
I love where you're going with this.
Wait, isn't Twilight living Conrad Verner's dream?
Oh, and the bad guys' plan would fail miserably because the police already know that you idiots have been targeting her for the past two years in steadily increasingly damaging attacks. They would still blame you.
Oh Rarity you have so much to learn
The craziness is contagious!
the same issue as in the last chapter. Missing a comma between your verbs.
Says the guy who intended to commit mass murder (accidental or not) and blame it on somepony else
...yeah, I don't think locking it up is going to be enough
Rereading this after finding its chapter in Sunset's Isekai. I'm ashamed to admit that I'd forgotten how much I adore Octavia in this.
Kill em all! Leave only Their coats as Wall Trophys behind!
Well... Wrex and the Hell Taker both seem to be used to having Knifes stuck in them
Nice
9765107
Hope the burn for it, literally
8802256
Any we love it
7560581
Women in Uniform and females with weapons...
Timeless breath taking. Especially with a lung shot
6197947
That would need to include a bigger tag count... And would it be black, blue or red?
6107852
Dark humor is awesome 👍
6107763
Females , guns and uniforms. Understandable
5965549
Any good recommendations for storys for me perhaps?
5949051
Good point
5948476
Ssssspppppaaaaaccccceeeee
5945266
Twilight and Wrex are unrivald though...
no that actually sounds about right... for cannon anyway...
11127653
Redicules and hypocrtic Equestria 101 basics...
You just need some imagination and... creativity
The mixing of kid show canon logic and mass effect renegade really has a unique flavor 👍