- Member Since 10th Jul, 2011
- offline last seen Dec 19th, 2015
Habanc
I laugh when people think I know what I'm doing.
Habanc
Joined 10th Jul, 2011 ·
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Well that was depressing. Very well done but depressing nonetheless.
That was sad. Like really sad
but I suppose self-hate can do that to a person.
Twilight will find a way. She has to.
Maybe this happens. As long as it's something to let Luna know she's worth it, that she matters, that she's forgiven...
Heavy stuff, H.
3911632
Aww, thanks! Sad stuff was very fun to write.
3911844
Yeah... I spent the last month working on this when I could, just trying to pick out the right words for when I needed them. I'm glad they paid off, it seems!
3911924
Mehhh I really fought with the idea of making this a two-parter, with the second chunk being the whole happy reunion thing, but ultimately I've let that go. Trust me, I badly wanted this to have a happy ending, but that would simply void the whole point. I'm glad the emotions really sunk their teeth into you, though. Sad, depressing potency, yay!
Now it's time to write about action and badassery and a bit of friendshipping!~
3912670 Well I'm glad you didn't give it a happy ending, would have been really cliched and boring.
Fair portrayal of angst and hurt. But alas, once again an immortal mind is underrated.
Both Celestia and Luna are portrayed a bit too emotional, while Twilight gives up too easily.
Very realistic hurdle for this relationship. Now it needs to be made up for.
So are we underlining word now?
3914276
This is a oneshot. I'm sorry but in this universe Twilight and Luna won't be together, as sad as that sounds.
And it's not that I'm underrating an immortal mind, I'm just presenting them as I prefer; gods that hurt and laugh and cry, rather than ones who watch and discuss and feel nothing. (Also this is an emotional story, so if they were to be less emotional, the intended effect would not have as great of a potency as it has now)
For Twilight, well, her kiss was a symbol, let's put it that way. When it was rejected, everything else fell out from under her. But that's only how I saw it; if you think she didn't give enough effort then that's a fair assessment.
3914356
Yes?
3914459
That's okay. I reject your reality and substitute it with my own. That's the beauty of fan fiction.
Yeah, right...
*follows, favorites, upvotes, and cries*
Oh wow... There are no words, man. No words to describe the emotion. You are truly a master....
Too many periods, CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A SEQUEL WITH BACKLASH?!?!?!?
What's that? You think you're worthless? Of course; there's no point to trying any more and you may as well just give in and take your death without any real struggle. What kind of princess are you?!
You've lived for how many years now? Through blood and tears you've come this far, taking down obstacles others said you'd never be able to beat. Now, after all that, you want to give up? You've still got so much left to accomplish. Just because you've had one or two bad days doesn't mean that everything's over. Learn to pony up!
Sure, things seem bleak. But that's no reason to give up. You'll hit the ground time and time again, but all you need to do is keep getting up and you'll eventually win. I don't know about you, but I could never live with myself sitting around asking "what if" or blaming others for why certain things didn't happen.
So you know what? Change all of that. Get your ass in gear, and save the goddamned world if you need to. I'd like to know what's stopping you from doing it. C'mon, give me a reason.
Yourself?
Hah, that's it? I'll tell you what you can do to fix that.
Grit those teeth!
3923517
That was beautiful. Words cannot express- I just want to give you a big hug. C'mere, you!
3921739
In another world, maybe. Don't hate me too much D;
3919596
Aww, thanks! I certainly am no master, but I sure hope to be there someday! I'm sorry that there won't be any sequel, but if you want, my anthology Tidbits of Mast and Sail has some adorbs TwiLuna in it. :3
3925320 I'm not hating you^^ lol^^
3925320
Sure, why not?
*accepts hug*
Had to come back to this one. I was re-reading the FiMFiction TwiLuna collection; this one wasn't in any groups at all, so I missed it in the first few passes.
feel
And I still choose to believe there's hope.
4067264
Fix'd!
Also, should I add my stories to groups?
4077180
Dear heavens, yes! Twilight, Luna, TwiLuna, Twilunestiance, Shipping, Fillyfoolers, anything remotely close. Like I said, this one wasn't in any groups, and I forgot having read it. Searching Romance + Luna + Twilight gets a bazillion unrelated (and mostly unreadable) stories that I'm not wading through. I'd never have found this one again if I hadn't gone looking through your back catalog when you mentioned writing an epilogue for Restraint.
>twiluna i haven't read
HOT DIGGEDY
Very powerful piece. The characters struck me as off, though, but the story was still quite beautiful. Nicely done.
Also, you appeared to have followed me. You odd person. (Thank you.)
4078748
Thanks! I do take a few – or as I've been told, a lot of – liberties to get the message across in my stuff. However, I'm curious, what struck you as off? I should be nailing down their personas after all this time.
(If you can name any, of course. I'm the king of being unable to explain why I feel a certain way, so it's completely fine if you can't.)
And you're welcome! I think I've read some of your stories before, so I had this epiphany where I was like, "Oh, I know who this guy is!" ...So, yeah, I followed you. :P
4078782
I know that feel bro.
And, really, I think Celestia was too quick to anger – that was what struck out to me the most. It's understandable, but it bothered me ever so slightly. Also, Twilight seemed to give up quite quickly. I dunno. I was loving it from start to end, but I remember thinking, "wait... that's it?" just before the curtains were drawn.
And I'm surprised and flattered that you'd recognise me – I assume it was through a comment on your other story, or you read my one TwiLuna fic?
We TwiLuna fans ought to stick together.
3915087
There where you wrong.
The Forver-liveing would be more emotional than you ever be.
Why because One bottled the emtions can damge thousand.
Bottleing up cause only beget more hurt than good.
Self-control is good but never chain yourself
4078895
Except that immortals have different thought processes.
Otherwise they'd go crazy after just 200 years, instead of millennia...
This story still gives me the creeps... It's too depressing for me, as I am an optimist.
4078820
Hmm, I'll give it a look over and see what's up. You're probably right about Celestia, because her part took me awhile and when I deliberate I lose my train of thought. Then things get messy.
I honestly can't remember where I know you from. But I know I know you, and I know you like TwiLuna, and that's good enough in my book. :3
Also, I feel like there's this huge friend-circle of TwiLuna fans out there, and they all know each other and help each other out, but I'm in the dark and I know nothing.
4078905
Really...
See there i'm having problem wiht you,
Who said this you,
It circular argument..
You said"immortals x this because i said so that why Immortals this way"
In reality, You are say mere speculation than turth,
You see which more likely someone able think without EVER get there way or Deal like any-other person would.
No-matter long live really, Base-line is still the same.
Do really you be so different if lived as long as their did.
4078924
I feel the same way. Think the TwiLuna guys have split up somewhat before my time, though. There are a few TwiLuna group forum regulars, but other than that we're a dying breed.
4078927
Hey, play nice. We all have our own opinions and such, but let's respect other people's views as well.
4078905
I'm not much of a fan of sad stories either, I always want a happy ending and all. But sometimes I'm in the mood to write blue.
4079001
I'm nice,
But he say is clearly illogical. then again logic is cold right.
But I rather have coldness of logic than madness and heat of emotion
Do feel there hostility in my words
4079026
No, I don't think you're being hostile, but I'm just making sure so nobody gets testy. Why would his opinion be illogical? Immortality is something we ourselves don't know, so how do we accurately know the ongoings of the undying? I'm not saying he's right, nor am I saying he's wrong. Merely, you both have valid points and that either viewpoint is credible.
4078994
A dying breed? *Gasp* Never! I will pump out the most heart-melting, adorable TwiLuna fics I can if I have to. I will have Twilight wear Luna's crown, Luna shall bumble awkwardly at Twilight's doorstep, Twilight will try to ask Luna out while reading lines from index cards, I will pull any tricks I must to convert followers if I have to.
But I definitely do feel as if I'm late to the party... Well, more like I didn't join in early enough. I know perhaps five or six TwiLuna people, and I really only talk often with one, my proofreader. Time to go on a social crusade and unite all us TwiLuna hermits or something.
4078994
4079189
There are some diehards out there still, certainly. What's missing are the legions of very active, very vocal fans for whom TwiLuna is the highest and supreme OTP to rule them all *. Many of the legendary TwiLuna stories (Within and Without, Apotheosis, Aurora) are over and done, and were one-shots for authors who had and have other interests. There are a few ongoing epic stories (Sharing the Night, Cry for Eternity, Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying, Apoptosis) which update infrequently. The heady days of constant TwiLuna releases are past us, at least until we get another 22 minutes of shipping fuel like Luna Eclipsed.
If you need a pat on the TwiLuna back, though, the groups are still the best place to find fellow Moonbutters.
* And in the darkness bind them, which I always thought would be a great line to have the officiant speak at the close of their wedding ceremony. Note to self: revise Luna's Librarian to include that line!
4079979
Oh right. I joined TwiLuna, I should probably be a little more active there. (4078994, that's where I remember you from! You did that contest and I told myself "Josh, you are going to do this." But then I forgot. Sorreh 3: Is there any plans for another? I'd love to join in.) You're right though, a lot of the big TwiLuna stories are updating infrequently. Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying and Cry for Eternity hardly ever update, which makes me sad. I should stop being sad. I should use my sadness to be more productive, and write, and thus not be a sad hypocrite. xP
Also, if you have time, could you shoot me a PM of some hidden TwiLuna gems you've found? I've been dredging around lately and it's getting me nowhere.
4080163
Gladly! I just wrapped up several dozen mini-reviews which I planned to turn into a few blog posts. I'll shoot you the best of them.
4080163 Take a look at my story... I've used some interesting ideas...
4080163
More contests? Sure. I'll have to remember to do that at some point.
4080275
Twiluna gems? Eeeeeee! Will be waiting for that blog post.
4080768
Stargazers? Some really cute moments with a very interesting premise on the protection spell Celestia cast over Luna before her banishment. I read it and gave it a thumbs up, but it looks like you changed it back to Incomplete added a lot more material. I'll have to give it a re-read!
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png
Lovely and sad. Poor Luna.
I hope someday you decide to do a follow up to this.
Not sure what I really think about this. I liked it and I it thought was pretty good and I do like these self-realization stories. But Luna really comes off the wrong way. Even though she tries and wants to do right and she knows what to do right, even she doesn't do it anyway... the ending came off really bad to me at least, it seemed really forced that it had to be a bad end no matter what. Even though the ending didn't make too much sense. But I guess there do exist people like that, that just wants to not be helped even though they want to be helped, which doesn't make much logical sense...
4419330
I mean, an emotionally distraught, spiritually depressed person will be hard-pressed to make a logical decision, but whatever. I guess it was more of a "you had to be there" kind of thing... Or something.
4423408
Well, I think it didn't come off too well, but then again, I've never really suffered from a depression or such an extreme degree of self-loathing, so maybe I'm just ignorant on the topic. But I don't really feel that this story ended very well, like I said before; it felt way to forced for no other reason then for it to have a bad end, no matter what.
4444804
I don't think this comment ended well. It felt forced to have an ending where you were right, no matter what.
I don't know if you see the irony of admitting that you're ignorant of something and then immediately giving in to the urge to spout an opinion.
You should, though, and you should probably be a bit embarrassed about it.
4476004
Wow... this comment is fucking idiotic... unlike you I have a minor degree in Psychology, so... fuck off? Also, when did "maybe" become "with 100% guarantee"? Clearly you don't understand how Psychology works, even on the most basic of level. Troll harder, child.
Very well written, but I can't thumb up. Way too OOC of Luna to be so apathetic...kloveyoubye
!
4476772
I'm sorry, that was petty of me.
I was attempting to be flippant and reuse the structure of your post. My critique, concern, whatever you'd like to call it, remains valid. I'm not sure how exactly you can support the position that the ending was forced.
By support, I mean cite specific sections of the text that you feel back up your position, and expound upon why you feel that the null hypothesis, that the ending was in fact not forced, is incorrect.
Since you have a minor in something, I feel comfortable making an educated guess (pun only very slightly intended) that you should be entirely capable of some journeyman level literary analysis.
I don't see any need to insult your intelligence, and I should like to think that I've given you no reason to insult mine. This is my sincere attempt to engage you in conversation about the work itself, and not in any way an exchange of blows.
4479855
Eh? I did... forced as in "it felt like it had to have a sad end no matter what, even if it didn't make too much sense" and then I just added the "maybe I'm just ignorant on the self-loathing area" because it's not an area that I've covered in my studies of psychology. Mine have been more in the areas of human perception and manipulation. Even though I know a fair deal about psychology, I still find it odd that such strong emotions can cause self-harm like Luna is displaying in this story, it seems a little unfounded and way to forced in my opinion (I'm not too good at justifying my opinions), but like said; even though I know it's a thing, I'm still having a hard time really following the thought, but that be because I've Aspergers which makes me emotional and socially retarded. Sorry if I came across as an ass, but you sounded like an ass and I flip tables 24/7.
Luna, you must scale back.
You don't know how to be a princess, currently. You don't know how to help ponies. Your intentions are best, but your skills are lacking. A thousand years tore a huge gap which you can't close right away. You must relearn everything from ground up.
I believe, that for one with such dedication, such limitless good will, you can be a wonderful princess one day. But before you get there, you have to learn more about those you are to serve. And how to learn that better than helping them?
No, not through huge administrative decisions, through ruling them right away. Start small. Help a pony chop some wood. Help some pony plow a field. Cheer up a foal who bruised its leg. Pull the wagon of an elderly trader. Wander the country and help wherever you see help is needed.
Once you have a firm grip on the smallest, immediate, momentary help for the littlest ones, once you can light small sparks of hope, no matter how short-lived, move up. Write a lullaby for foals across the country to cherish. Drive monsters away, to make a town safe and prosperous. Help building a dam, that will keep a settlement safe for centuries to come. Things that last, little things that spread wide and affect many. Sustained flame of hope, that lives on and gives warmth to wanderers who come.
And then scale up again. Start a helpful organization, that will grow under your guidance. Aid growth of a city, so that its prosperity will propel itself. Import good plants that grown, will improve farming across the land. Inspire a movement of kindness and friendship. Plant seeds of kindness that will be capable of growing by themselves, acts of good will which will grow mighty, all by themself, with little or no guidance from you. Learn to start wildfires - sparks that grow and spread across the nation, helping more and faster than one single pony, no matter how mighty and wise never could.
And when you'll learn to truly help ponies - not by micromanaging, overseeing every little detail, but by learning the little nudges that will make Equestria flourish - when you learn to inspire and guide instead of ruling and deciding - then you will be the princess given endless love - and all of it deserved. And you will be worth love of every pony of Equestria. Including Twilight.
But for now, before you start giving first, smallest sparks of joy away - seal up the wounds you caused. Go to Celestia, go to Twilight, and no matter how much unworthy of it you may feel, ask Twilight for help!
As someone who's experienced depression, Luna's behavior in this story is strikingly familiar. Self-hate clouds everything about yourself and about others.
I do wonder, though--what about a character who really hasn't accomplished anything, or who actually hasn't done anything right? A character who has genuinely ruined everything they've tried and has not managed a single productive act--a character who's only "successes" come when other characters step in to clean up or fix what they tried to start. Almost every time you see this theme, there's an underlying understanding that the depressed one is wrong, and when it is followed through to the end other characters show the depressed how wonderful they really are.
But what about when they aren't? What a character who can only provide something that isn't needed? A character who offers a service that another character handles just as well? What if they contribute nothing to the world that actually in any way requires them--if all they can do is something that someone else could do just as easily, or do so better than them? What does someone who has real, legitimate reasons behind this emotional agony do when it can't be solved by another character showing them all the good they've accomplished?
I've never seen this handled in a story. Even tragedies have the implication that the character is severely understating their value, but are never approached without that. The value of a sentient life can't be weighed in measured against each other based on any skill, trait, talent, or contribution... but self-value can. In a world full of the successful, what does the failure do when they cannot succeed?
5015212
As someone who's dealt with and will likely continue to intermittently deal with this, I would argue that what you're describing is a "weight" that comes with it all. Esteem and self-worth hits are as likely to happen as rain falling during a thunderstorm.
Perhaps it isn't revealed in life quite as it is in the stories most tell. There isn't always some passionate friend or partner that goes above and beyond to hammer through their self-worth. For the sake of stories, it's a simple and convenient vehicle to deliver a truth.
Humans wouldn't be lauded by poets, drive dictators mad, confuse psychologists, and surprise the philosophers if we weren't so damn unpredictable. As corny as it sounds we really are unique as snowflakes, and for better or worse, that makes sentient life a challenge. Yet, it also means that each and every person does, in fact, have something to bring to the table. Perhaps not all of them have figured it out, but one day they'll find it.
It's never "one thing", never "one service" that a person can provide to those around him or her. It's a culmination of their greatest assets and their tiniest nuances that make up what a person "is" and the spectrum of what they can provide. That is a fact, and that they can, undoubtedly, provide something to this world is, again, a fact.
This self-worth destruction, the feeling that one can't do anything right, is common. Their somber mind alters their memories to pick out the gizzard among the meat, the chaff from the fruyt, the sediment from the gold. If "success" within a specific skill or skillset is a barometer for "worth", it would be neglecting what other qualities of using that skill offers. For instance, I am far, far away from being the best writer in the world. I will most likely never come close. Yet, I can derive pleasure, happiness, and wonder from it because I enjoy it, because it's an outlet which hauled me out of my first, years-long ride through the carousel.
It's this malicious, exacting comparison of one's ability to others that we use when depressed to confirm our self-hate. The very fact we do this so much more malignantly and obsessively than others is what makes depression the crushing weight that it is. It ignores that we are as diverse as the universe, and hones in on simple, easy categories. "I cannot run as fast as him," "I can't talk as well as her." We never say, "I can't listen, bike, play piano, cook, fight, be as caring, be as considerate, be as thoughtful, be as creative, and be as industrious as him." We don't look at the full picture, because, often, we have trouble seeing the full picture of ourselves.
Therefore, should I write about this character, I would focus on them, through a series of understandings, slowly piece together who they truly are. Perhaps it isn't as wonderfully great as a passionate friend might play them to be, but with a level head, they can realize where they fit in this world. It would be a long story, fighting over months or years, but it undoubtedly can happen.