It was a great day in Ponyville; The sun shone brightly in the cloudless warm blue-grey sky, as a purple unicorn, with a red mane, leapt out of the Ponyville school as the classes ended, with a spring in her step, and a neigh of glee. She had just graduated, and couldn't wait for her first day of testing out what she knew.... with independence. Firestripe opened a book with her magic to study much more. Always the bookworm, she simply couldn't get enough knowledge, and she had so much on her mind at the moment to think about. She could just imagine all the sorts of magic she would attempt to cast.... and if she could really do so. Dark magic... Crystal magic.... Chaos magic... even the magic of Friendship... it was all so confusing. Could one day I'd be a princess, like Twilight, or Celestia... or like Luna? A hero like The Mysterious Mare Do well? A villain like Nightmare Moon, or Chrysalis, with her Changeling army? Or even a Royal guard, like father?
But the thought of her seemingly always absent father always brought a deep sorrowful ache in her soul. He had gone on a mysterious but urgent important mission for Celestia, and it had been 3 months now since he left. She could sorrowfully remember his grey strong earth pony build at the door as he put on his armor... The dark blue mane ruffling ever so gently on the faint breeze, the deep soft tone he had said before he left... the soft heart-melting silver eyes that were windows to his gentle soul. "Daisy, take care of Firestripe... I'm not sure how long I'll be gone. I love you both........" "Don't leave daddy" she had pleaded him, but he had chuckled softly. "Do not worry my dear, I'll be back, and we'll play that tower game you love so much." He had given her a kiss on the forehead. With a word of, "stay safe", and a kiss to his wife Daisy, he was gone.... Like a puff of the wind.
The memory brought tears to her eyes, an she blinked them back. This isn't time to be sad... I just graduated school. Tears would solve absolutely nothing. She put the book back in her bag with a bit of her red magic. I must focus on the task at hand. Mother will be so happy.... I hope. I haven't seen her happy since Father left.... She began as a brisk walk through the warm town, looking for the tall amber colored oak tree that sat near princess Twilight's house that her mother had made their home, the one with the pink periwinkles growing in the lower branches. A bluebird sailed overhead, and landed in the tree. A blue Pegasus who was her friend saw her and came over to say hello. He had an orange mane, and dark blue eyes. But the wings were a tad small, and his back legs were sported by a wooden wheelchair, due to a defect in the legs when he was born. His cutie mark was two racing flags. "Hi Relay!" greeted Firestripe.
"Hi Firestripe! Congrats on the graduation. I knew you could do it, you little bookworm." He gave her mane a teasing ruffle.
"Aww Relay.." She said with a small chuckle. "Now I have to brush my mane again."
"Why brush it? It's already soft enough." Teased Relay. "If I brushed my mane all the time like you did, I still wouldn't have my mane that soft."
Firestripe gave a chuckle. "I'm going to tell mother the great news. I bet she'll be so happy.... I hope." She flattened her ears. "I haven't seen her in good spirits since my father left..." She brushed her mane back with a brush from her bag.
"Hey! Positive thoughts Ms. Bookworm. A smile goes for miles!" Encouraged Relay. "I'm sure you'll be an excellent magic user... maybe even like Star Swirl."
"I'll try." Said Firestripe, as she continued on her way home. "And you keep up with your racing." I'll try hard. Star Swirl was her admired hero. She wished she could be like him one day... known for magic no other pony could master, and a reverend legend.
"I shall!" Replied Relay with a dramatic pose and a determined expression. "Maybe I'll break the speed limit!"
------```-----
Firestripe pushed open the wooden door that led into her house in the great oak. In the living room sat a white mare with a black mane. She was sitting in a red chair knitting with her knitting needles. Oddly, she wore a collar with her name embroidered on it, and it read, 'Willow Leaf' in red letters on the black leather.
"Hi Honey." Greeted Willow. "You're home a bit early today."
"I graduated mom."
"Oh, that's wonderful!" the mare put down her knitting, and got up to envelop Firestripe in a warm hug. "Your father would be so proud...." Her ears flattened. Father would be so proud.
"Yeah...." said Firestripe sadly as she flattened her ears.
"But we must celebrate. You go get the cake. I'll get the decorations. We'll throw a great big party for you." Said Willow in a suddenly cheerful tone, as she handed a small bag of bits to Firestripe. "I won't be gone long, okay honey? We'll meet here."
Firestripe nodded as she put away the bag of bits, and soon was on her way to Sugarcube corner. Not sure how a party will solve everything...
She was torn from her thoughts of a black hooded figure galloping right past her, right into the dark and forbooding Everfree. Apart from her curiosity, she decided to spy on this figure, and silently followed.
Ha ha! So I did read it before it was published! As I said before I love the characters. Envious mare and the optimistic Stallion.
5399631
Let's delete more comments! Because, you know, that always looks good!
5399715 Well, I do not take trolls.
5399716
Trolls? You tried to steal someone's art. After a user called you out on it, you lied and said it was yours. Now you changed it to the "art" you have now after the quick use of the delete button.
5399715 its his/her story. They can delete comments if hey want to.
5399724
That doesn't mean he should. Don't you know how easy it is to drown in dislikes just because you can't take other people's opinions?
If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
5399727 Tis no kitchen here. Merely a gallery of fiction.
There is also no should or should not here. It is but their choice is it not?
Opinions are not always important.
Keep in mind there is no malice in my words.
Merely my view on the situation.
5399727
Okay dude. There are some that can't take that kind of stuff. Some are fragile as fuck. Others it don't bother. Just think before you act.
So, you're a comment deleter/art thief?
Ah, humanity. You never fail to disappoint me.
5399733
Story-wise, another person's opinion of your work does matter. If someone takes the time to write out something because they felt like they could help you with their opinion, then they shouldn't be gagged just because they're not allowed to state what they disliked about the story.
Also, the author unpublished the story. I guess he couldn't take the heat, bro.
5399748 I disagree. Opinions do not matter.
Whether the author of said story chooses to value the opinion is up to them.
Also, why not just ignore something you do not like? Why feel the need to express the hate. For lack of a better term.
So you are saying that fimfic is just one more place fragile people should be excluded from because others want to express words that may or may not hurt someone?
I am fully aware that words should not hurt anybody but it is also a fact that they do. I have accepted this.
Not everyone can just shrug stuff off.
In fact the author did shrug it off and deleted the comments, buuuuuuut someone felt the need to get upset with this too... So...
The authors only course of action was to accept the other's opinion... kinda biased.
That is why comments are opinions... not facts.
5399743
When your whole life shatters just because you looked at a mean comment, it might be good idea to ask yourself why you're writing in the first place. It's literally the most opinionated and competitive field to work in.
5399744 Yes, lets right one wrong with another and descend into petty insults...
Like you said... Humanity.
5399774
Yeah and many have killed themselves over it to.
5399777
Insults? Do you want to hear a real insult? He is simply stating that the author is a thief and a comment deleter, which we all already know to be true.
5399777 It's still the truth, no matter how put.
5399786 Insults do not hurt me... tf?... I am a prison guard... Yeah I want to hear a insult... jeez...
I am not defending the claim of art theft I am saying there is no need to drag something on, especially when the user has deleted the art and left the situation alone. There was no need for you to jump in and comment on his deletion of the comments.
5399788 No need to point it out. If I pointed flaws out every time I saw them I'd be talking all day to everyone. They deleted the art, why carry on with it?
5399792
He didn't really drag anything on. It would have stayed dead with his comment, because I wasn't going to say anything back to him, but you brought it back up in a rather rude way.
BTW, I'm a nuclear scientist.
5399800 I'm defending them. Much more noble a cause than pointing something out...
5399800
5399788
5399743
It's quite obvious no one is going to persuade anyone any differently here.
So You two say what your going to say so you're not just thinking I'm trying to get the last word in and drop it. Flutterbat I agree with you but tis not a lot we can do.
5399811
And I can agree on that.
5399816 Such is life.
5399817
I guess.
I'm gonna re-publish this. Please... no more trolls.....
5399820
Why does that sound kinda like something Pinkie Pie would say?
5399820 I like it.
5399828
True
5399824 Don't be sad... Some may be against you, but you do have some with you.
5399811
Well, the art thing was rather avoidable, for Seven Fates told him respectfully that the art was already in use. Now, using someone else's art for you story is not against the rules in any sense of the word, but people started calling him a thief mainly because he deleted the comment.
Again, it not against the rules to use another story's art. But, what is against the rules, is the point about reposting unpublished stories, in which were taken down from the site by either a mod or author, in raw form.
He now has to rewrite the whole thing for it to be repassed.
If he instead listened to Seven Fates and changed the art with a "sorry," nothing would have happened.
5399838 I just don't understand why people are making such a big deal of this...
5399835 Alright. Have a nice day.
5399851 Tis one I fight everyday.
m'kay, I've got a few things to say.
That beginning. That begiiining. Why is it so clustered together?
break it up into paragraphs. please give my eyes a break, you group all that text together it just looks messy.
The story itself isn't that bad, you didn't even use an alicorn OC for starters which is a huge sin most writers with oc stories make.
Your fic is also very telly. I have this same problem, you use things like
It's pretty obvious that he's teasing her, why not show us isntead of telling us? Like make him smirk, have a bit of animation to the scene.
Now...for the technical bit.
I'm not 100% sure on what happened, but it sounds like you took some comments that were posted pretty harshly. I'm not accusing you, or anyone for that matter, but deleting comments is a big no-no and is almost 100% certain to get you looked down on, and for both you and your fic to receive a lot of hate.
Just because someone is criticising or critiquing your fic, that doesn't mean you should take it to heart. most of the time people comment or point things out about your story to help you improve, as I'm doing right now. Deleting those comments and calling them 'trolls' just makes you look childish and naive.
All in all, learn to take criticism better, and people will like you more because of it.
Also, yes re-posting a fic with absolutely no changes to it is generally against the rules. Don't do that.
5399824
If you republish this without the full rewrite required, I'm going to have to tell the admins.
Edit: Idk, it's back to where it was when it first came out. Just... I don't care anymore.
5399857 i'm kinda broken at the moment.
5399910 uh I guess I'll stay out of this but for the record
I just deleted my own comments
5399857
If a person who falls does not spring up, and instead cracks their head, what happens then?
Looks like I missed a helluva shit-storm, but aside from that..
I for one like this story. I really do. Please continue, and don't let the trolls here stop you. I mean, look! You got more likes than dislikes. That's gotta count for somethin'.
Hope to see an update soon.
-Semper Fidelis
5400127
Wow that drama in comments
5400173 derpicdn.net/img/2014/9/27/730394/medium.jpeg