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One day, Celestia, Luna, and Twilight disappear completely. The chaos produces a vastly different Equestria, one that is all too familiar. Those who lead are corrupt, and those who are led are repressed. But sometimes it's not the big players, but the small ones, the ones who know the difference between right and wrong, who make the real decisions.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'd like to think that the alicorns just took a really long vacation and are going to come back and go, "We just don't know what went wrong!"
Ok, that was terrible. Liked the story though
3309394
Well of course. They deserve a vacation every once in a while, don't they?
And thanks for the comment!
3309398 Your very welcome! I felt like this was a good tragedy that didn't rely on cheap sad stuff,but instead makes you think about it for a while and the realization makes you even sadder.
But hey, what do I know?
sweet jesus more
I demand you take this off 'complete' and continue this!
This was pretty awesome, the idea that Spike would eventually step forward and rule Equestria is a fascinating one; he is a creature with centuries of life ahead of him and he's been raised with excellent morals thanks to Twilight and her friends, he could be a good ruler
If you're thinking of diving into Spike's story of becoming emperor, I'd love to read it!
3309813
I would, but that would defeat the purpose of the story. The point was that Spike didn't do anything because he didn't want to stoop to that level. A continuation would just be him watching his friends grow grow old and die and sit around waiting for society to fix itself. That, or he could unlearn the lesson he learned and try to take down the government.
Did you name this fic after my DeviantART name on purpose, or pure coincidence?
Wow.
Well done.
3310132
Coincidence. I don't go on ze deviants.
3309823>>3310156
Thank you!
Celestia and Luna are not in this story why is it linked to the group?
i demand more!
That feel when you write a one shot and everybody wants it to be longer.
3310483
The exact same thing I thought. If you (Garbo) are going to be an attention whore, at least be less blatant about it.
-Lumino
3310735 Doesn't help he's got a journal titled The Master of Group Whoring.
3310813>>3310735
If that's your opinion, you should have talked to the mods of your group and had them handle it, or at the very least just leave it at that first comment. There's no need to bring that sort of thing to the comments of my story and victimize me for it. Furthermore, I make a conscious effort to divide putting my story into groups up so it doesn't bother people. And I'm not deserving of ridicule just because I think it's funny how someone managed to get stories into groups very quickly, or because you disagree with me posting stories in groups that are relevant. The comments section of a story is a place for discussion of the story itself, not site meta.
Despite the complete lack of respect you've shown me, I did what you said. I didn't notice the rule that stated that the story had to be centric to the two characters, and I apologize for that. Now I'd ask you kindly to either comment on what you thought of my story or leave.
Spike is best leader
Okay... I actually read this story a long time ago but I've never found the strength to write my comment, because I don't have a lot of nice things to say about it. Alright, I'll be even more honest: I really don't like this story. At all. Allow me to explain why.
Perhaps the reason why this fanfiction fills me with such anger (I'm sorry, but it's true) is only one, but it's a problem that completely eclipses the good things about the story, like the neat writing: the story's final message.
Alright, I don't know how consistent your views are with the points expressed by Rainbow Dash (really, I wanted to strangle her in this story) and Spike at the end, in fact I wouldn't be surprised if you actually disagreed with them since their views completely contrast with your Screw Society blog, in fact I really hope you don't seriously think that the only solution to a bad government that ruins your life is sitting on your ass not doing anything! I hope that for you! One of the reasons why this world keeps being so crappy is because there are a lot of people who don't even try to change anything and just suffer in silence!
Besides the fic seems to say that you either don't do shit or do a violent coup, it doesn't work like that! There are middle ways you know? How about Spike organizing non-violent protests to try to open everypony's eyes about the mistakes of the government? How about... anything?!
Seriously, when I reached the end all I could think about was this:
(The video is directed to Spike and RD, not you, take it as a way to make my harsh comment funnier so you might feel less embittered
)
I may not be very respectful of a different opinion, but we're talking about a kind opinion that is actually dangerous. If you disagree with Spike and Dash, that's good.
Bottom line, as long as there will be weak people who just surrender and hope for some kind of miracle nothing will ever change for better, it'll just get worse and worse, and Spike and Dash are dumb as Hell.
Sorry, I just had to say this, don't hate me, I don't plan to unfollow or block you, I still think you're a decent writer... but still, if you agree with RD and Spike... that's low.
3406831
Thanks for the comment. Really. I love this kind of stuff. Sometimes the "I liked this" comments make me want to strangle people. But anyways, I can see where you're coming from, but at the same time, I think we're missing the point of the story here. I originally had a very long comment going here, but I've decided to summarize. The reason there's a jarringly low amount of hope is that the Equestrians just aren't ready for mass protest or war. They're too peaceful, and it will take longer for them to adjust their society to a point where they can do that. That's what the story means when it says that, one day, things will get better. And though the mane 6 have fought off enemy after enemy, those weren't just regular ponies. They were some sort of evil enemy, and they just aren't ready to face off against themselves. Spike seems to have the most hope because he's different. He's a dragon. But he realizes that even if he wanted to do something, most ponies wouldn't be willing to fight their own race. That's my own interpretation of it.
3406831
Also, the story was meant to be jarring.
3406962 Ah, then I'm kinda relieved, at least you weren't trying to tell your readers to be passive dorks, and I'm really glad you're not offended, good thing I had faith in your maturity. Still though, I kinda disagree about Equestria being really that peaceful and utopian, in the show when ponies get mad they can be quite ruthless even with other regular ponies, I think some bronies tend to idealize Equestria a little too much when (in my opinion at least) it's way more similar to our world than some people think, so I still think the story doesn't work that well from a certain viewpoint but at least now I know it's not trying to get across a point that is venomous for humanity so I'm cool
3407761
I look at it from the other perspective. Too many fics like mine here paint Equestrians in the exact same light as human, sometimes even more violent. Although I don't idealize Equestria in a smaller social standing, which is clear in a lot of my writing, I do idealize it in terms of education and politics. Basically, I think that an Equestrian as an individual isn't any more nice than a human, but when all those individuals are put together, they have a far less venomous society. I think it has a lot to do with cutie marks, personally.
But at the same time, point taken. Boast Busters shows how judgmental ponies can be without reason, and the lack of cross-breed romance (like in Hearts and Hooves Day when the CMCs do a montage of all earth-pony suitors for Cheerilee) shows a bit of lingering racism.
Um ... I didn't really get this story. I think the main problem is that this story feels too condensed. Certain things should have been more flushed out - primarily, what's bad about the government? I understand it's supposed to be awful, but I don't understand how it's awful. The biggest hint I found is, "For a time, life seemed better than it had ever been. But as the divide between the rich and the poor grew, so did unrest across Equestria. Peace gave way to uncertainty; happiness gave way to despair. That was what he saw out of his window." So is the main problem with the country an income gap? Is that why "peace gave way to uncertainty"? It's not explained very well what's wrong.
It's also hard for me to get behind Spike. I don't understand what he wants to change, and I don't understand what he wants to do. Protest? Revolt? Lobby change?
Sorry, but I was left with too many questions to enjoy the story.
The story was too condensed. It was a short story written for a short point. It's artsy fartsy crap at it's best, doesn't have any general direction, and leaves it up to the audience to decide what the lesson is instead of blurting it out ... don't know where I was going with that.
I understand the story being condensed, but I think your argument about Spike is baseless. The point is that even he didn't really know what he was going to accomplish. That's the theme of the story. Don't make rash decisions like taking down the government without thinking about it for a second. It's a parody of the fact that the first thing anybody does when there's oppression is resist, assuming the outcome will be better if they do. But as Egypt has proved, not so much.