Chapter 11
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Octavia pulled back, startled out of her resolve by the pressure on her lips. “I’m so sorry, I – mmfgh!”
The DJ wasn’t about to let it end, not after this long, not after all those damn thoughts! This was one dream she would never let fade. She pushed forward, wrapping her hooves around the grey mare’s neck. The heat on her face spread through her entire body like a current of electricity, sparking off every nerve and twitching every muscle.
Faced as she was with a rather passionate assault, Octavia stopped trying to retreat and instead attempted to weather the barrage. Occasionally she would reflexively try to kiss back, but it felt rather clumsy and uncoordinated, so for the most part she refrained.
Not that Vinyl was a master of lip-play; the unicorn seemed convinced that as long as her lips were pressing against the general area of Octavia’s muzzle they were in the right place. The cellist had read no small amount of guides for exactly this situation, but it was particularly difficult to recall any useful information when being subjected to such raw emotion.
Breathing heavily, they parted at last, this time for longer than a second. Vinyl’s white cheeks were flushed red and her expression was of confused surprise, as if shocked at her own actions. Octavia couldn’t help but be a little curious herself. What had started as a dazed, half-considered desire had quickly become something more thanks to her enthusiasm.
“Sorry,” squeaked Vinyl, somehow managing two voice cracks in one word.
“I… am not,” replied the cellist. Seeing her friend’s eyebrows rise slightly, she elaborated. “While I’m still not… not sure what to th-think, I would be lying if I told you I hated it. Um, make of that what you will.” She panted at the end, still short of breath.
The other mare seemed to be struggling to form any words, licking her lips as if about to start speaking but ultimately remaining silent. Only the sound of her computer gently whirring nearby kept them from descending into true stillness.
“I’m not sure-“ she finally began, but her voice cracked again and she stopped, casting those garnet eyes around the room as if looking for an escape. “I mean, I don’t know-“ Another voice crack. She cleared her throat and swallowed. “I have no idea what I’m doing.” The DJ gave a breathless laugh, apparently not addressing anypony in particular. “Ohhh Celestia, what am I doing?” Her eyes shot back to Octavia. “What are we doing?”
Shrugging slightly, the cellist could offer no adequate response. The answer eluded her as much as it did the other mare. All she could do was watch the red eyes that had captivated her to the point of near-delirium. They still held a subtle, almost hypnotising quality to them, bright as they were.
Octavia forced herself to look away. “Vinyl…” she said quietly. “When… when I’ve been unsure about something in the past, my mother- oh sweet Celestia my mother!” Her eyes widened as she recalled the content of the last conversation she had shared with the older mare. “She’s going to murder me!”
“Huh? Why?”
“Because I just kissed-“ Catching herself, the cellist lowered her voice considerably. “Because I just kissed a mare!” she hissed, looking around as though her mother was about to crawl out from beneath the bed and attack.
“How the hay is she gonna know that?” For once, the DJ was being the rational one.
“She’ll find out sooner or later. She always finds out everything sooner or later.” Her voice was quiet, almost the tone of a frightened filly.
“Wow. Okay, I think I’m getting a pretty clear idea of your childhood.”
Octavia began to pace nervously. “Whenever I did something she didn’t like, I was whisked off to a psychologist. She would stare silently at me until I spilled every one of my secrets.”
“What?! Are you serious?” The unicorn couldn’t help but feel guilty, remembering her first impression of the grey mare as a stuck-up, boring snob. Of course she didn’t have much visible flavour; her individuality had been practically beaten out of her! No secrets, no hiding places, no thought to call her own… she didn’t grow up, she was grown. Anger rose within her like a leviathan from the ocean floor, centred on the misty silhouette of the ‘mother’.
“I’m afraid so. And… I think it’s gotten to the point where that’s the only way I can find resolution when I’m… not sure about things.” Octavia deliberately looked everywhere but at the mare beside her.
Vinyl couldn’t help but feel hurt at that. As absurd as it was, it still hit hard realising that her dream might not be coming true after all. “Okay,” she said quietly.
“I’m sorry, Vinyl. I wish I could be like you and let everything slide, but… my head is just… filled with all these things and… I need to sort them out before… well, I don’t know. Before anything more.”
“It’s okay,” the DJ repeated, this time with a small smile. “I did kinda lose control there. I shouldn’t have forced… I mean, I shouldn’t be so pushy when I’m as confused as you are.”
“Yes, well… what’s done is done, and now I would like to untangle my thoughts before I trip over them again.”
Octavia hesitated in the silence that followed, but thought better of whatever crossed her mind and instead walked slowly to the door. Vinyl inwardly shouted at herself, unwilling to simply let the moment end. I can’t let her leave! She’ll never come back to me! As absurd as it was, that was the thought that made her speak. “Wait!” The treble-clef-marked mare stopped mid-step and looked back nervously. Swallowing, the DJ realised the only way to avoid stammering like a little filly was to blurt it out. “I-didn’t-hate-it-either. Uh, the kissing, I mean. It was… yeah.”
The only response Octavia dared to give was a little, oddly grateful smile.
When the door shut quietly behind her, Vinyl was left alone once more with naught but a half-finished song on her computer… and a cellist on her lips.
---
The receptionist looked surprised despite the milling groups of students in the lobby. “Miss Octavia? How may I be of service?”
Summoning her most convincing smile, the cellist stepped up to the counter. “I was wondering if I could set up an appointment with the current student psychologist.”
“Certainly!” replied the receptionist, perhaps a little too eagerly for Octavia’s liking. Most of the staff seemed to behave rather oddly around her, and she was starting to suspect involvement of the maternal kind. “We have a system that rotates all the-“
“Um, pardon me for interrupting, but I would like to make the appointment quickly.” She didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but the thought of her mother put her on edge.
“Oh of course! My deepest apologies, Miss Octavia. I’ll just call his office and see if he’s free right now.” The unicorn floated a phone up to her ear and rapidly tapped at the keypad with magic. A trickle of sweat ran down the back of her neck. “Hello? Yes, this is reception. We have Octavia here wondering when your next open slot is. Oh? Right now? Well, that’s very fortunate! I’ll send her right up.” Hanging up, she gave Octavia another slightly-too-happy smile. “Well gosh, that was lucky! Just head up the stairs over there and take a right. It’s the last room on the right.”
“Thank… you?” Slightly bewildered yet grateful for the prompt service nonetheless, the cellist followed the directions, marvelling as middle aged administration workers and highly-trained lecturers stepped out of her way politely. It was like one of those jokes from high school that everypony got except her, and just as frustrating.
Just before she reached the office, a stallion was shoved out of it. It was the same pony from Vinyl’s art class, only looking slightly more haggard. “Hey, I wasn’t done talking yet!” he said angrily. After a muffled reply from within the office, he rolled his eyes and trudged down the hall, shoving past Octavia.
While not entirely sure what to make of that little encounter, the cellist did her best to ignore it. As much as she wanted to let her mind run away on a tangent trying to figure out the rude ejection of that stallion, she couldn’t afford to avoid her own problems… especially since she was now living with one of them.
Oh Celestia, how can I even face her again after that?
The office was small, almost cramped, with most of the available space taken up by a large desk flanked by chairs on either side of it. The pony behind it was doubled over, flicking through files in a drawer. His frizzy red mane bobbed in a very familiar way, and as he sat upright and deposited a file on the desk, she saw why.
“Hey there Octavia!” Psych beamed. “Ready to knock your school worries on the head?”
“Not with you.” She turned to leave.
“Hey, wait a second! I’m just as qualified as every other psychologist on the roster,” he said defensively.
“Yes, and you also spent most of this semester encouraging me to fight with another student.”
Wincing, the tutor-cum-councillor scratched the back of his head guiltily. “When you put it that way it sounds mean, but it was all just a bit of fun! You could have told me to stop at any moment. Besides, that stopped weeks ago.”
“Regardless, I… don’t think I can discuss this particular problem with you.” Octavia felt rather guilty herself; who was she to be picky with psychologists?
After a moment’s silence, Psych leaned forward. “Does it involve Vinyl?” he asked quietly.
She nodded. Everything involves Vinyl.
“Octavia…” he sighed. “Look, I want to help you with whatever is wrong, but I’ll need you to trust me. I realise I don’t present the most… professional image in class, but I take my duties very seriously.”
The cellist looked at his face, but found no trace of mirth there. Not a twitch at the corner of his mouth nor a twinkle in his eyes. “Alright…” she said cautiously, closing the door and taking a seat.
“So.” He crossed his hooves. “What’s up?”
Oh crap, now she had to actually tell him.
“I… suppose I should explain a few things first.” The charade came crashing down. “Vinyl and I are friends. We’ve been friends since the first assignment.” She sighed and jammed her eyes shut. “You were right; we had a lot more in common than we thought.”
When no response was given, she peeked at the stallion. His expression was unchanged and he made no indication that he was about to capitalise on the confession. Encouraged by his professionalism, she continued.
“We… we’ve actually become quite close over the last few weeks. I’m not sure what you know from that file, but I didn’t have any friends in high school. Vinyl offered a hoof of friendship and I seized it with all of my might. I thought I was being a little possessive of her, but lately I’ve been wondering if she was just as lonely as me. Anyway, that doesn’t matter now.” She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. It didn’t work. “What matters is that we’ve become such close friends that Vinyl even managed to convince the student coordinator to let her move in with me.”
Octavia allowed herself a little smile. “It has been wonderful. I’ve never felt so close to somepony who isn’t family before. Or… well no, I think I feel closer to her than my family.”
Psych smiled as well, but it was understanding and genuine rather than mocking. “I’m glad to hear that.”
Her smile faltered. “But… it’s changed. I still feel very close to her, but it’s… I’m not even sure what it is. I want to spend as much time with her as I can, just like before, but now I’m not thinking about companionship or watching a movie together or joking in Blues Tavern. I find myself thinking about… about how soft her hooves are and how her coat looks like powdered diamond… and… and…” She surprised herself by sniffing back a tear. The stallion across from her pushed a tissue box forward but she shook her head. “No, it’s okay, I’m fine. I shouldn’t even be crying, this isn’t sad.”
“Ponies don’t just cry when they’re sad. They can cry from happiness, from fear, or even from love. Please don’t hold back if you feel the need. Tears can help more than you might think.” His voice was calm, kind, his tone one of simple understanding. It was odd coming from the normally-energetic tutor, but it helped nonetheless.
She took a tissue gratefully. “Thank you.” After a few seconds to gather her thoughts, the cellist soldiered onwards. “I… I’m not quite as naïve as many ponies think. I know what these feelings for Vinyl are, in essence, even if… even if I’m not quite ready to admit them yet. The problem is that I’ve never liked anypony in this way before, especially not a m-mare.”
Taking a moment to consider her words, Psych reclined back in his chair. “Realising one’s sexuality is rarely a straightforward process. Ah, pardon the pun.” He reddened slightly but the grey mare didn’t penalise him for it, instead looking out the window at the grassy court. “And coupled with the fact that Vinyl is your first true friend, I can only imagine how conflicted you must feel. However, you’ve maintained perfect composure during class despite this. I must tentatively conclude that something has happened, an event of sorts, to make you seek outside help.”
Octavia nodded, still looking away. “I… saw her without those glasses of hers for the first time. I never thought of myself as the type to be entranced easily, but…”
“Ah. Did she notice you staring? Or did you… do something?”
“I did something,” she whispered.
“What happened?” the tutor asked quietly.
“I kissed her.” Saying it out loud seemed to consolidate a million thoughts at once. She kissed Vinyl. On the lips. Her first kiss ever was with a mare, and not just that, but her best friend too.
“And… what was Vinyl’s reaction?” Psych almost seemed to brace himself.
Octavia couldn’t help but blush, remembering the sudden, insistent pressure on her lips and the taste of Vinyl and the feel of her breath as she desperately kept pushing. “She kissed me back.”
“Well, I might be getting rusty, but that sounds like a good thing.”
“It is… and it isn’t. There are too many things in play here; my mother, the other students, my studies… It’s too much to process at once.”
“So don’t process it,” he suggested simply. At her raised eyebrow, he elaborated. “Don’t overthink it. I know for a fact you are blasting through schoolwork much faster than your tutors can issue it. Your mother is all the way up at her estate, last I heard, and even if she found out the second you kissed Vinyl it would take a few days for her to get her affairs in order before travelling down here. The other students have their own problems, trust me, I’ve spoken to hundreds of them.”
“What should I do then?” Octavia dropped the tissue in a small bin and straightened her mane.
“Take a few weeks off studying altogether. Two, to be precise.”
“But exams are in three weeks!” exclaimed the cellist.
“Yes they are, and you are so ridiculously prepared for them that they might as well be kindergarten crayon colouring competitions. Trust me, you’ll be fine. Go to lectures and tutorials like usual, take notes, but leave it at that. You have more important things to put energy into.” The orange-coated stallion gave a smile reminiscent of his usual demeanour.
“I think you’re the first teacher to ever tell me not to study, but very well. What should I do in that time?”
“Talk to Vinyl. Tell her what’s going through your mind. I think she likes you quite a bit.”
As giddy as that thought made her feel, Octavia wasn’t done. “So I’m supposed to just talk for two weeks?”
He waved a hoof. “Get dinner together, go see movies, all that stuff. Just spend time with her and your conflicted feelings will resolve themselves.”
“Is it really that easy?” she asked hopefully.
“It can be, if you let it. Remember, don’t overthink everything, just do anything. Or, ‘don’t think, just do’. Let your natural response be your actual response, and you’ll see the truth.” He blinked. “Hey, that was pretty good. You can quote me on that, if you like.”
They chuckled together, and the cellist felt better with every laugh. Simply voicing all of her worries, having somepony to confide in, was making all the difference.
I like Vinyl, but there is- stop.
“I like Vinyl,” she said, starting to beam.
“Perhaps you should tell her that?” replied Psych with a wink.
I want to be with her right now, but this- stop.
“That is an excellent idea!” She slid off the chair and walked over to the door, pausing only to look over her shoulder. “Thank you.” He nodded and waved as she left the room.
When the hoofsteps had faded from earshot, he slowly opened the file. On top of several detailed pages of psychological evaluations was a little yellow sticky note, one he had noticed before but always ignored.
Psych,
You’ll let me know if my Octavia comes to see you while you’re on councillor duty, won’t you?
It would be ever so sweet of you.
-L
For a long moment, he stared at the words, their perfect hoof-written style reminding him of the mare who’d just left. Every curl and flick was flawless, every word possessing weight beyond its appearance.
Then, with a casual brush of his right hoof, the note was peeled away and sent fluttering into the air, twirling and spiralling downwards until it came to rest beside a tissue at the bottom of a small bin.
“Oops,” he whispered, closing the file once more.
No references. Probably.
A little note on chronology, in case some of you are confused. You've probably realised that fairly large amounts of time can pass in this story, between chapters or even between scenes, so let me clarify. Vinyl and Octavia have been at university for almost one full semester, which is about 13-14 weeks.
A little note on seasons: Intentionally vague most of the time, I know. It's cold and miserable most of the year in Manehattan. However, I will say that I'm planning a snowy Hearths Warming Eve, and it's going to be adorable.
And that's all for now! Throw down a comment or throw up a thumb if you're enjoying the story, I read each and every comment even if I can't reply to them.
"throw up a thump"?
Uh, Dawn...
~AC
UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
726316
Maybe it's a bass joke? Vinyl would approve.
Either way, another phenomenal one-- So excited.
726316
YOU SAW NOTHING
i love disdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png
He might not have seen it, but we all did. We all did.
Anyways, that was an exceptionally awesome chapter. Updates like this make my day start off correctly.
Yay Update!
No no no no no no no no, NO !
You CANNOT do this to me, releasing a new chapter of my favorite fic ever mere seconds before I head out for my night shift. To quote your own words ; its in opposition with equestrian laws against cruel and unusual punishments.
Well, I guess I can only blame myself for keeping FiM fiction open in the first place XD You can be sure I'll read the buck out of this masterpiece as soon as I get back !
I'll throw up a thumb! Wait, that'd be a little bloody... how about this comment instead?
Good work on the session with Psych -- especially the note tossing and his resulting comment.
Psych is now best pony. That is all.
So proper response. It makes sense that both of them are going to be rather conflicted, in fact I prefer it that way. A bit rude of people to just kick Shady out, (if that was Shady) but considering who it was... it wasn't that surprising. Still, I think something might be building up with Shady... or I could be looking to much into things. I also like how Pysch was so professional when he needed to be, its actually good to see him being quite dedicated to his job.
Brilliant update as always and cannot wait for more!
726328
I agree. I like Psych.
Psych is awesome... why couldn't I have a professor like him?
"Don’t think, just do" could be a reference. Sounds like something from a movie or a game. And I wouldn't surprised if there would be some philosopher who already said it....wait let me Google it.
Yep, some Roman named Horace said it somewhere between 65 BC and 8 BC. He was a poet...
I imagine right now I'm not the only one who wants Psych as their psychologist?
Psych is a cool dude, this is true.
Yeah, the bitter winters in Northern United States (I assume "Manehattan" is pretty much identical to "Manhattan" temperature-wise) are BRUTAL sometimes, I absolutely HATE them Maybe during Hearthswarm Eve they should get blocked in the uni because of a blizzard, and because of that they stay together, hang out, kiss again, and ask each other out
I like Psych. He's a good guy. Nice update!
Great story, i cant wait for the next update!!!!
Very fabulous I just love it
you get all my yays
Argh i'm raging right now i found an error, somewhere in the story but the story being so good i continued reading telling myself i would find it back, witch is not the case, anyway the eror is quite simple you used the word would instead of will at one point.
By the way great chapter, Gonna keep searching since it will bug me all day if i don't so i'll eddit if needed.
It seems like Octavia's mom cruelness is shining out more and more each chapter, And the story is getting better and better!
Ah yes the over protective and controlling mother, been there done that, not mine but the missus mother was a royal pain in the flank, she tried to boss and control me I just told her to stick it, I think she broke as she didn't know how to react lol
She's still a bit of a pain now and then but I just threaten to not let her spend time with the kids and she falls back in line just have to stand up and lay down the law
Loving the story can't wait for more
Psych, you legend.
This story is quickly becoming one of my personal favourites. I am loving so oh so much.
I was going to go sleep after working for 12 hours straight, but then I saw this and decided to read this instead. I love this series.
Wondering how Tavi's mom is gonna take it when she figures out..
50 bits on me hating her even more after that scene ~
YAY update!! Great chapter! Looking forward to the next one already!
Psych,
You’ll let me know if my Octavia comes to see you while you’re on councillor duty, won’t you?
It would be ever so sweet of you.
-L
...holy crap, L?!
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120419005416/mk/images/c/cf/Death_Note-_L.png
DAMNIT, L, YOU'RE NOT A MOTHER! YOUR NOT A PONY EITHER, SO GO BACK TO YOUR DETECTIVE WORK! Cake will be served later.
When will the next update come? I need MOAR! You know, if that's OK with you...
Such a good chapter, really like how Psych peeled away the note, Good work, please keep it up :D
New chapter?!?! play the theme song! Cue tears of joy!
i0.kym-cdn.com/profiles/icons/big/000/056/899/Fluttershy%20Tears%20of%20Joy.jpg
And so it begins
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Exponentially better with every chapter, this is ridiculous.
Wow was this a good chapter! This update made my day.
Awesome chapter, i hope Vinyl gets the chance to fight Octys mother either verbally or physical.
I love Psych now. You should put more of him in there.
Sad Octavia backstory is sad...
i like this chapter. i think that the other staff members are going to tell octavias mother about the visit and then she will come down to the university and interrogate octavia.
moustache
i would love if someone could make a different reaction
726486 you mean "which" not "witch"
Prediction time!:
Octavia's mother pays her a surprise visit.
Excellent update! And how cruel of you to taunt us with the prospect of adorable chapters to come, please hurry. Anyhow, love the story and it happens to be a great start to my day.
Best Birthday ever. Woke up at 11:43 pacific time, turned on laptop, open e-mail, saw story had been updated 3 minutes prior. Now sitting in bed with chocolate chip pancakes finishing the best fan fic in the history of man kind.
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strongly possible after all english is a second language for me, and before some one bring that up i personaly thing that this in fact help me to find the use of the wrong word in a sentance, since i find it a lot harder then other people to understand such if their is a wrong word in it.
Yay new chapter
726806... I think you typed too fast maybe and put a "g" instead of a 'k'?
HOLY SCIENCE...ok first awesome update!
Second you have managed to change my whole perception of a chracter in 1 chapter...at first I didnt like Psych as he seemed to give a kind of shall we say 'dickish' air about him
but now he is pretty damn amazing...which just goes to show how good your writing is Dawn
cannot wait to see how this all pans out looking forward to the next chapter!
Keep up the awesome work
Dr. Psych is a slippery stallion is he not, Ooops the note accidently fell down in the trash can, And i can't pick it up again, Damn Wat to do? Nopony will miss it anyway. *Closing the file*
Also looking forward to more Uni days. Keep up the great work
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Lunar Justice
726613 Good. I am not the only one to have thought of that. But it can't be that L. L isn't that cruel. Or a woman.