Smarty Pants loved flying by royal carriage. She remembered the first time she flew with Princess Twilight Sparkle some five years ago when the Goddess became her mentor. She was so excited she fell out of the carriage. It was a good thing that Princess Twilight was the Goddess of Magic; otherwise it would have been a very short tutelage.
As great as it was flying by carriage, the twelve year old found herself wishing she was a pegasus. She felt the wind whistle through her red mane and it felt good. She could only imagine what it felt like to soar through the bright blue sky on wings of her own. Though watching the duo of pegasi stallions pulling the carriage in their golden armor almost made up for it. She blushed and diverted her attention to her terrified friend.
Smarty Pants scrunched up her face and let out a sigh. Sandy was wrapped around the left foreleg of Princess Cadence as she quailed in fear.
“Sandy,” Smarty Pants called over the rushing wind, “How can a pegasus be scared of flying?"
Either Sandy couldn’t hear her or she chose to ignore the question. Smarty Pants looked up at the Goddess of Love who offered the earthpony a soothing smile, but she wasn’t about to let it go. Smarty Pants wanted answers.
“Sandy.” Smarty tried poking the lime green pegasus, but she only clenched her eyes tighter and hugged the Princess’s leg as hard as she could.
Cadence shook her head and leaned down to nuzzle the scared filly.
“While I appreciate a hug as much as the next Goddess of Love, Desert Rose, would you relax your grip just a tad? I can’t feel my hoof anymore.”
Sandy let go as soon as she heard Princess Cadence use her full name, but she didn’t open her eyes. Instead she dropped to the floor of the chariot, wings tightly clamped to her back. She was only called by her full name back when she was living in the orphanage. Smarty winced sympathetically. She knew how Sandy disliked the name, but it looked like Princess Cadence had no idea.
Usually, Smarty Pants was thrilled to discover she knew something one of the Princesses didn’t know. Like two years back when she found a diary that belonged to Princess Celestia buried in the garden. It was mentioned in a journal written by an anonymous member of the royal guard several hundred years ago.
In the guard’s journal, she read about how the Goddess of the Moon hid her sister’s diary as retribution for the ‘alfalfa incident’, whatever that was. She remembered how she and Sandy snuck into the east garden late one night with nothing but shovels and the promise of hidden knowledge. Sandy wasn’t usually one for defacing royal property, but she had just earned her dust devil cutiemark and she wanted to put it to use.
The Solar Court had just raised the sun when a guard patrol finally found them. The girls probably would have gotten jail time or at least a stern talking to, were it not for the fact that they were so darn cute. The adorable fillies were fast asleep cuddled-up together with their excavated treasure among the piled corpses of many a rhododendron.
When Smarty Pants shared the books and her Weekly Research Report with Princess Twilight, the two of them had an impromptu research/slumber party in the Royal Archives. They had cupcakes, a pillow fight, and the Princess even showed her how to make a bookfort. It was nice.
What made it super nice was getting to do late night research with the Princess. With her three sources – the firsthoof accounts of the Princess, the anonymous guard’s journal, and the diary of the Sun Goddess – Smarty Pants painted a mental portrait of the previous pair of Princesses.
To the outside world, they were the Sun and the Moon; constant and perfect. Their rule was absolute. Their word was law. And yet they weren’t loathed as tyrants, they were loved as liberators. There were none of the riots or threats of secession that lead Princess Twilight and Princess Cadence to form the Senate centuries ago.
To a small inner circle, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were constantly trying to one-up each other with foalish pranks. Well, constantly was a bit of an overstatement. For immortal beings where time is never truly of the essence, whole days, months, or decades could go by without a new incident. But each practical joke was met in kind and the bar was raised.
Smarty Pants let out a snort. She still didn’t understand how or why Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were playing a game of hide-and-seek that was almost half a millennia old. She may be twelve, but she was a world class seeker. She was going to find them. She was going to find them for Princess Twilight, and it was going to be the best birthday present ever.
Sandy opened an eye from her prone position on the floor of the flying chariot and saw the look on Smarty Pants’ face.
“I’m sorry, ok? I’m not used to flying this high. Or this fast. Or at all.” She wrenched her eyes closed again.
Tearing her eyes off the golden manes of the stallions that pulled their chariot, she turned with a jerk to look back at her cowering friend.
“Huh?” she said, eyeing her friend quizzically before she realized what happened. She sank down to the pegasus and gave her a big hug.
“Sorry Sandy, I was thinking about something else. You’re fine! Don’t let it get you down, ok? You’re my best friend and we’re here with a Princess. What could possibly go wrong?”
Sandy sat up and returned the hug. A bit more forcefully than Smarty Pants thought the moment warranted, but her shaking told the earthpony that it had more to do with her fear of heights and less to do with her apology.
“S’okay, Smarty.” Said the quivering filly “I know you didn’t mean it. I just wanna be done with flying for no— OH MOMMY, WE’RE GONNA DIE!”
As she spoke, there was a sudden rumbling sensation that shook the entire chariot. They had landed. Not that the greener-than-usual pegasus noticed, what with her eyes jammed shut again. Smarty Pants, bluer-than-usual from the tight hug around her neck, did her best to comfort her assailant when she heard a set of hooves approaching.
“Hiya Cousin Smarty Pants! Who’s the barnacle?”
Sandy heard the voice too. Her eyes popped open and she gasped in delight. They had landed. Her wings lost all of their tension and she leapt into the air only to flutter to the ground, where she began rubbing her head in the fresh orchard dirt.
“Oh ground, I missed you. Let’s never be a part again.”
The newly arrived red unicorn gave the strange pegasus an apprehensive smile. “So… how was the flight?”
Smarty Pants walked up and hugged her cousin. “Uneventful.”
Honeycrisp smiled until she saw Princess Cadence sitting in her chariot. “Stars’ Garters, it’s a Princess! Where’s my manners!” she said as she bowed deeply “It’s ever such an honor to have you here at Sweet Apple Acres, your Majesticness. Would you like to come on up to the old homestead for lunch? Mom‘ll be so surprised, I bet her water’ll break the minute you walk through the door!”
Cadence paled and one of the stallions of her chariot team let out a ‘bleh’ before his partner elbowed him.
“Uh, no thank you, My Little Pony. As… appetizing as that all sounds, I’m on my way to Cloudsdale for the weekend. I’m just dropping off Smarty Pants and Desert Rose for Princess Twilight since it’s on the way.”
“Aw, shoot. Ok well, you have yourself a hay of a weekend, Your Highship. But next time you come through, you best be hungry. We Apples don’t take kindly to folks skipping out on our hospitality.”
The Princess nodded in blank understanding before she waved goodbye to Smarty and Sandy. As the chariot took off down the dirt road and up into the sky, Honeycrisp broke the brief silence “She seems nice. A bit stuck up, but nice all the same.”
Smarty Pants laughed as she helped Sandy to her hooves. The pegasus straightened out her pale green mane before addressing her friend’s cousin. “I-I can’t believe you said that to a Princess! You’re so brave!” She looked past the two ponies and into the orchard itself. “Or crazy.” She muttered.
Honeycrisp looked hurt at Sandy’s words. “Shoot, I did it again, didn’t I? Sorry. Pop says it’s my honesty. That it runs in the family. Mom says I’m just plain rude.”
She walked up to Sandy and offered a hoof. “Desert Rose, was it? Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I’m Honeycrisp.”
Sandy didn’t take the hoof, she chose instead to hug herself around the middle. “Actually, it’s Sandy, if you don’t mind.”
Honeycrisp looked at her empty hoof with a furrowed brow as she tried to understand if there was something wrong with it. She looked over to her cousin who rolled her eyes and mouthed ‘later’.
“Right. Sandy. Well Sandy, welcome to Sweet Apple Acres, Equestria’s oldest and longest running Apple Orchard! Ever had a Sweet Apple Acres Apple?”
As she asked she walked over to a tree and gave it a light buck. An apple fell out of the tree and she nabbed it out of the air in a red cushion of magic before it hit the ground.
Honeycrisp was a unicorn but she was an Apple and darn proud of it. She was easily half-again as big as her cousin Smarty Pants even though they were just a year apart. It didn’t help that Smarty Pants was the older of the two.
Sandy took the offered apple in hoof and sat to enjoy the treat. “Oh, yeah! My mommy’s the Royal Pastry Chef in Canterlot. She makes the best apple pies using these!”
Another apple flew out of the tree in a red blur and hit Smarty Pants in the head with a thump. “Ow!” she winced, and rubbed the spot with a forehoof. “What the hay, Honeycrisp?”
“That’s for laughing at me earlier, Pants. Don’t give me that look, filly. You’re a big strong earthpony, you can take it.” She looked out into the orchard, her face neutral. Smarty Pants didn’t respond. She knew better.
She knew that Honeycrisp felt like the black sheep in the family. Every Apple for generations had been either a Pegasus or an earthpony, and here she was, a unicorn. She was big like an Apple and she could buck like an Apple. But she tearfully confided in Smarty Pants during her last visit that she didn’t have the strength or the endurance of an earthpony. It was her deepest shame that she wasn’t born one.
When Smarty Pants told her cousin that she couldn’t understand what was so great about being an earthpony and how she wished she was a unicorn, the hooves started flying. One black-eye, a bloody-nose, and a wrecked tree house later, they both decided it was best to agree to disagree.
As the three of them ate in silence Sandy sensed something was amiss but she didn’t say anything. When they finished their snack, Smarty Pants and her friend gathered up their saddle bags and followed Honeycrisp deeper into the heart of Sweet Apple Acres. She was the first to speak again.
“So! What do you wanna do first, cuz?” Honeycrisp started counting off activities with her hooves as she walked. “We got apple picking, we got hog wrestling, we got lunch, we got the old tree house that needs repairing, we got—“
“Ever heard of the Sun and Moon Goddesses?” interrupted Smarty Pants.
Honeycrisp turned and looked at her cousin like she had two heads. “What the who what now?”
So an Earth Pony who is the student of the Goddess of Magic and wants to have Unicorn magic like her, a Unicorn who wishes she was an Earth Pony and a Pegasus who is outright terrified of flying.
If this was a Saturday Morning Cartoon a body swap episode would be inevitable.
So, if Rarity is indeed in control of the Crystal Empire then that means Equestria has a total of four alicorns. That's assuming, of course, that Tartarus hasn't changed rulers in the last 500 years.
Already I'm intrigued.
2919751
Rarity's an Alicorn?!
2919917 I don't know, is she? I mean, if she's running the Crystal Empire I imagine she's gained immortality.
2919979
We will find out all this and more... Soon!
Looking forward to this!
2920267
I owe you the next chapter for pre-reading good sir!
There's only one problem with this story: Princess Twilight Sparkle is NOT immortal.
2920842
All Alicorns are immortal in my story. Canonical or not. Thanks for the comment :)
2920842
And you know this how, even relating to canon? Unless your name is on the production team for the show, and privilege to stuff others are not aware, I fail to see you can claim this as if it was fact.
2920842 Hey man it's called fanfiction for a reason.
2921258 He's probably referring to the tweet a show staff made saying "Twilight will not outlive her friends."
Honestly that has countless possible interpretations and isn't even canon. I get really annoyed with people like 2920842 who try to "explain" how it is when they themselves have no true way of knowing.
2919917
Obviously, Rarity turned into real Crystal so she could be with her true love, Tom.
2919979>>2920023
...unless Spike and Rarity had a kid, and the girl in question was Rarity Jr./The Second/etc. Given that Dragons can sleep for 100 years, a draco/pony hybrid could survive 500.
2922711
Haha, I like the way you think. No, it's just plain old fabulous Rarity senior.
Yes it does!
2922999
New favorite comment, right here.
2922931
Next theory before reading chapter: Spike is sharing his own lifespan with Rarity. He'll only live half as long, but hey, at least he'll share those years with the mare he loves. Sounds like a fare trade to me.
2924971
Now there's an idea! Thanks for the comment!
2920275
Ready whenever you are. I'm completely done with college for a while. So I should be more alert and have a faster reply then I have had.
2925098
Expect it sometime tomorrow or Thursday!
it's here............... F*****************CK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found this and had to go back and read the other one first. By far, not the worst way to spend a midnight snacktime.
And then this story happened. I'm super curious about the results of Smarty Pants's sleuthing, and I'm really curious about Honeycrisp's character in general.
Almost needless to say, fave'd for updates!
2919687
Eeyup. Terrible, horrible, could-not-possibly-go-right idea. And thus a very good one.
2932232
Thanks for reading and commenting! I really appreciate it.
Loved the first story. Found this and read the first chapter. Looks great. Have a thumbs up, a favorite, and mustaches.
MOAR!!!!
t.qkme.me/3p0lw7.jpg
That popped into my head when I read your A/N. Great prologue btw.
You know... I think that we've just witnessed the beginning of the gathering of the new Elements of Harmony.
* Smarty Pants, the Element of Laughter,
* Desert Rose, the Element of Generosity
* Honeycrisp, the Element of Loyalty
2920842 Stop being a negative Douche and read the story. It's called "FICTION" for a reason. In the realm of Imagination, anything is possible. Hay, I use it to pretend I'm on Equuis, as a non- immortal Alicorn, traveling with The Doctor and Rose, and somehow beating Discord the first time. Like I said, in the realm of Imagination, anything is possible. (Don't wail on me because I went of on a tangent. I did it to prove my point. (So suck it.))
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/326/68e.png
I knew I wanted a longer book, but holly horseapples, I have my work cut out for me.
4113698 I used this world to pretend I'm a doughnut with really really beefy legs and has never been caught and if you can catch me I will grant your uncle a wish.
I haven't written it, but I pretend
4134849
Dude... I would read the SHIT out of that!
And why did I wait so long to start this, again?
~Skeeter The Lurker
For real, I get this way EVERY TIME!But the view above is always incredible
Ahem..."apart"
Ahhh yes my favorite time, SEQUAL TIME!!
~Imperial Brony signing off
4236203 *Alondro hands you "Baby Geniuses 2", "The Matrix Reloaded", "Attack of the Clones", and "Ghostbusters 2".*
Enjoy!
Alright, the 500th birthday story was so good I just have to read this one. Great start, this looks like fun.
I have recently become aware of a great tragedy. Despite the fact that this story is easily one of my favorites on the entire site, and that it holds the honor of being 'the future fic I most wish the not already contradicted bits of were to be made cannon'; I never actually gave it proper reviews/appreciation messages. Well no more I say! Today commences a reread and a comment fest on one of the best stories on the site.
The character is absolutely adorable by the end of the fourth sentence of the story? That has to be a record. Paragraph two does not help matters. Guard Flank eh?
Do words even really need to be said? Alfalfa monster BLARRRGH! Apparently they do.
Oh Honeycrisp. Never change.
On to some more general notes. Its nice seeing Smarty again. Honecrisp's name is one of the most perfect names ever. Its both a type of apple, and has crisp in it, which can bring to mind fire, which she has a talent for: SO PERFECT!
I suppose the other thing to bring up is the re-casting of the Elements thing that seems to have been started with Smarty, Sandy and Honeycrisp. I know others have pointed it out already, but I'd like to talk about it some to. Smarty is easy to peg into being magic, she shares a good number of character traits with show era Twilight. The resemblance of Sandy to Fluttershy is to obvious to not peg her as Kindness. Honeycrisp is harder, being either Honesty, or perhaps but less likely Loyalty. The interesting thing I find is actually meta: In a lot of stories set in either Equestria's past or future that I have read there seams to always be a set of potential Bearers, even if the Elements themselves don't show up. It makes it feel like its an inevitable part of Equestria's existence that there will always be such a group around major events.
I'll post theories for the rest of this era's Bearers as we get to them.
She terra firma & the more firma the less terra.
Heinlein