After a hard day's work at the post office, Derpy Hooves has a list of errands she needs to take care of. After all, she has to be ready for tonight!

...If only she could remember what it is she needs to be ready for!

A few years ago, a rumor surfaced that I creature of tall statue and thick clothing, made himself home in a cave on top of a mountain. He would offer insight into future events in exchange for food, as a tribute to his divine knowledge and has been known as The Oracle ever since. For years he has given out knowledge sparingly, now Princess Celestia, Luna, and Cadence have made plans to visit him, but Celestia’s question might be a little risky, but curiosity is killing her.

It's an extremely hot summer day. What better way to spend it than at a water park with your retired alicorn wife, Celestia? You've already gotten all of the thrills from the park's attractions that Celestia could ever want, and now it's time to relax for a while on the lazy river. But when the two of you find yourselves in a strange, almost liminal space, Celestia has more than a few concerns.

You, however, couldn't really care less.

By sheer dumb luck, you learned about an upcoming invasion of Ponyville planned by Queen Chrysalis and her army of changelings. Unfortunately, there are two major problems. First, Twilight and her friends are currently on vacation, meaning that the only thing standing between the changelings and Ponyville is little old you. Second, the invasion is supposed to occur at sunrise, which is about an hour away.

Oh dear.

Princess Twilight Sparkle took the Equestrian throne several years ago. Anon, her human friend, works at the castle as an advisor for her. However, lately he has been disappearing right after work, and Twilight is curious as to why. On top of that, he isn't the only one acting strangely, as her mom has been acting very dodgy around her too. Twilight has some suspicions as to why this is.

Over the countless years, ponies have become almost monotonous to Princess Celestia. Then along comes Anon, so strange and laid back, and he treats her like anypony else. She'd forgotten what that felt like, and finds she quite enjoys it. They have a very enjoyable evening together as their friendship blossoms.

This story made for the artist Enonnnymous in response to the drawing in the cover.

The prospect of meeting an alien has always fascinated Rainbow Dash. With countless worlds out there beyond the stars, who is to say that extraterrestrial life doesn't exist? What would they be like? Would they be just like her, but with a gross third eye? Would they be sturdy enough to beat her in a fight, or quick enough to beat her in a race? Would they be malevolent and try to conquer Equestria with their DEADLY SPACE LASERS?

Yeah, you're none of those things. She's a bit disappointed.

You ended up in Equestria about two years ago, and in that time, you've become quite close with a number of ponies. Of them, Rarity in particular has left a major impression on you. She seems to enjoy having you around, and you appreciate the company.

That said, there is one major roadblock getting in the way of your relationship. More than anypony you know, Rarity is extremely concerned with keeping up appearances. As a fashion designer and all-around fabulous mare, she frequently wants your opinion on how she looks.

Unfortunately for you, you're a human with no way of telling what makes a pony "beautiful."

Sometimes, there are states of emotion that can overwhelm even the mightiest of creatures; or so they say. Queen Chrysalis had never taken stock in such tales, nor the creatures that told them. Until today that is.

Artist is hotkinkyshy

This story is a sequel to Nigel M Chalmers, Emperor

(15/10/2015) Turned status back to incomplete pending an Epilouge and Alternate Endings chapter as per comment suggestions.

After being banished by Celestia for his misdeeds, the alien Emperor of the Crystal Empire is back... and out for revenge.

Emperor Chalmers is not a happy space man. After being stabbed in the back by Equestria, he was sent to the depths of the Underworld. Kicked out for causing too much trouble for the wardens, Nigel now has the chance to take back his empire and show Celestia just how disappointed he is with her.

This time things will be different. This time he has friends.