Story Advice, and Absolutely Nothing Else · 5:43pm Jun 6th, 2020
Hey everyone! Been a while since we talked, hasn’t it?
Well, if you’re like me, your FiMFic feed has been dominated, these last couple of days, by posts that aren’t directly FiMFic-related. I mean, most of them are, in an indirect way (hint: what are the key themes of the show?), but perhaps you find them a little bit off-topic, considering the nature of this site.
So here’s a post that’s about story advice, and absolutely nothing else.
There are many ways to structure a story, but one common way is the “both parties are wrong, they admit their mistakes and make up” approach. For an in-show example, take Fall Weather Friends: Rainbow Dash and Applejack get so caught up in trying to beat each other in the running of the leaves that they resort to increasingly slapstick stratagems to slow each other down, only to find out that their efforts have resulted in neither of them getting what they want. Chastened but restored to friendship, they embrace the idea of fair-and-fun, and go for a run together, The End.
I’m sure you can name a dozen episodes which use some variation on this structure, where two (or more) characters act inappropriately, come to realize they both messed up, and everything is hunky-dory as we roll credits. If you’ve read much fanfic, I’m sure you can name plenty of stories that use this as either their main plot (especially for oneshot SoLs and Comedies) or as one of their subplots. When executed well, it can be very satisfying—FWF is a great episode!—and it’s a structure that sets up a writer for success, in that the conflict, rising action, climax, and resolution are baked into the structure so integrally that you’d almost have to be trying to screw up the arc, at least at the concept level.
But that doesn’t mean there aren’t any flaws that people can fall into, when they invoke this “both are wrong” structure. Let’s talk about three of them.
First, there’s the matter of disproportionate wrongs. Let’s go back to FWF: there’s a steady escalation, sure, but I don’t think you can argue that the totality of what Rainbow Dash did to Applejack is objectively, 100% worse than what AJ did to RD, or vice-versa. And it wasn’t like one of the girls was responsible for all the escalation; both of them were upping the metaphorical ante, repeatedly. Maybe you feel like one of them was ultimately a little more to blame than the other, but broadly speaking, their actions were proportionate to one another.
Now, let’s say I want to write a fanfic with the “both parties are wrong” theme. In my fanfic... oh, let’s say that Rarity and Applejack decide to have a competition to see who can sell the most apple-shaped doilies in one day. Rarity decides to sneak over to AJ’s farm and cut the fencing around the pigpen, so that AJ has to spend an hour chasing down her swine and fixing the fence. Well, that’s pretty bad! That’s destruction of property, and you definitely shouldn’t do that!
And AJ decides to… oh, let’s say, kneel on Sweetie Belle’s neck for eight and a half minutes until she dies.
In my fanfic, to be clear. Because this is a post about story advice, and absolutely nothing else.
So AJ does this, and that delays Rarity because she has to grieve for her dear departed sister. And at the end of the day, neither of them have sold very many doilies, and they both apologize to each other.
I hope you can see why this story isn’t very satisfying. Property damage and murder are both bad, yes, but they aren’t proportionate. Having both of the girls apologize to each other and ending on an “all is forgiven” note sends a very clear, though hopefully unintended, message that these two wrongs somehow cancel out. That works in things like FWF where the misbehaviors are similar enough that they can cancel out, but in my story, I should really not be saying “both were wrong,” because that puts the murder on the same moral plane as a greatly lesser offense.
Second, there’s escalation. The events in your story should escalate; pretty much everyone intuitively understands this, and most of us have had it directly articulated to us. But if you aren’t quite sure why, let’s go back to my fanfic for an example.
See, I was a little misleading in my description of that fanfic. The way I wrote it, it sounded like AJ murdered Sweetie in response to Rarity cutting her fence. But actually, it’s the other way around! Rarity was selling her doilies, AJ murdered her sister, and then Rarity took a saw to the pigpen.
If I’m still planning to end on a “both were wrong,” that’s not just disproportionate; it’s bad ordering. At least if Rarity acts first, there’s a discernible arc to the violence. Sure, AJ’s definitely not on the same moral plane as Rarity, but at least if Rarity acts first, I can follow the chain of logic while not agreeing with the outcome. But if AJ acts first and Rarity’s response is orders of magnitude less reprehensible, then that really screws up a “both were wrong” argument. When one party is ramping up and the other is ramping down, at least in relative terms, you can’t really say, “well, they both contributed to the problem” and expect people to agree that these are two things that should be lumped into the same sentence!
In my fanfic, to be clear. Because this is a post about story advice, and absolutely nothing else.
Finally, let’s talk about conclusions. Because the standard ending to a “both were wrong” story is for equal blame. Again, in FWF, both parties are basically equally in the wrong, and so they basically take equal guilt, and everyone (AJ, RD, and the various third parties) feels like that’s pretty fair.
Now, you don’t want a really disproportionate series of events in a “both were wrong” story, as we talked about, but you can have some inequality… as long as you address it at the end. If, in FWF, Dash had clearly been the one raising the stakes every time and AJ was more-or-less matching the response, that could still work as an episode! But the moral would have to make clear that there was a difference, there. The end would have to acknowledge that Dash created this problem, and that while AJ wasn’t entirely blameless, she had plenty of chances to stop this from spiralling out of control, and didn’t take them. With a little nuance (and again, something that’s still at least proportionate-ish), you can make for a fine conclusion, whether it’s a pure “both equally bad” or more of a “both are bad, in similar enough ways to merit comparison” way.
So let’s talk about my story again! Because actually, I didn’t quite get to “the end” when I described it earlier. See, after Rarity and AJ apologize to each other, Princess Celestia shows up. When she hears what AJ did to poor Sweetie, she announces that she’s going to launch a thorough investigation to find out exactly what happened, and whether or not AJ really meant to murder her or was just trying to disable her, and also whether Sweetie Belle had ever had a drug offense because honestly, could you blame AJ for kneeling on her neck for eight and a half minutes if Sweetie had a record, oh, and what if Sweetie was trying to get away while she was being choked to death, everyone knows it’s not murder if you kill someone because they’re trying to get away from you killing them. While this investigation, which will probably take months if not years, is ongoing, AJ will of course be free to continue working at Sweet Apple Acres, because she’s not being charged with anything yet! Also, charges are brought in less than two percent of similar cases.
In my fanfic, to be clear. Because this is a post about story advice, and absolutely nothing else.
Perhaps Celestia will abruptly change her mind shortly thereafter in response to a massive outcry from the citizenry of Ponyville, but for now, let’s get back to our fanfic. Because, when she hears what Rarity did, Princess Celestia has her immediately arrested and jailed, because property damage is serious business. Also, she sets bail at about three times Rarity’s annual income, because violent crimes like destruction of property necessitate that kind of harsh response.
Does that conclusion feel satisfying to you? If not, I’d like to suggest that maybe, with Rarity having clearly committed a vastly less egregious offense, and only in response to massive provocation, it would be more satisfying if the conclusion didn’t treat her actions as if they were vastly worse. And note that treatment matters here: if Twilight comes to visit Rarity in jail in the epilogue and says, “Too bad about Sweetie Belle, but I want to be clear that I don’t support what Applejack or you did,” that doesn’t improve things. Because in addition to being back to the “both were wrong (even though they aren’t comparable)” problem that we already examined, now we’re tacitly endorsing the mismatched conclusion too! Saying “both were wrong” in this situation is saying that Rarity’s punishment is perfectly appropriate, perfectly fair, and that the context of why they happened or what else is going on in Equestria is irrelevant.
Context matters. Stories are about context. Context is what takes a three-sentence description that could apply to a thousand different fics, and turns it into something that sticks with you forever. You can’t read a story without context, because the context is the story. And when you try to argue against that, you argue against the entirety of human experience.
Or rather, pony experience. In my fanfic, to be clear. Because this is a post about story advice, and absolutely nothing else.
I hope that this blog has helped you become a better writer. Please, go out and write wonderful stories, with wonderful morals, for all the world to enjoy. Hopefully, we can all learn something from the wonderful stories you write.
Because in the end, stories matter. Stories are real.
I hope the stories you tell are good ones.
This is the best blog I have ever read.
Thank you for some excellent advice that sadly only applies in the very specialized and peculiar setting of Equestria.
Thank you for this story advice. It's so good that I'll even forgive you for being so mean to Applejack in your characterization. I'm sure she understands too, though:
pbs.twimg.com/media/EZyhXaFXYAUsfrB?format=jpg&name=large
5279160
Seconded.
Good advice about stories. Definitely not something else.
You know, the one bit of criticism I have about your story is that it's just too unrealistic. I don't think there are characters you could write doing that without the audience insisting that nobody could be that cruel in their actions or that stupid in their justifications.
An important aspect of a story like this is that both sides have to be sympathetic in some way, and I have absolutely no idea how Applejack or Celestia could be seen as sympathetic to the audience.
Good post! Thank you for taking a stand on these issues of storytelling that have infested our community for so long.
Also, black lives matter and fuck fascism.
Thank you.
This is the kind of storytelling advice I come to Fimfiction to read.
PP is right. Best. Blog. Ever.
It deeply amuses me that somepony in the comments here appears to have congratulated the author for story advice without reading the blog.
Also, this is great.
Dang, this is some fantastic writing advice. It's wild and crazy how the lessons learned from the stories about colorful pastel ponies can be applied to real life. Who'da'thunk it?
Yo, why can't we favorite blogs yet?
I do love a good discussion about the rules of storytelling. Thank you for this.
Superb storytelling advice, thoroughly heeded.
It's like writing a story about Wyoming. You have to talk about how empty the state is. How it seems like it's own country in a larger country. The wind that blows the heat as well. if you can do that as well I am sure it will be amazing.
I detected the faintest twinge of sarcasm.
Hmmm, I can certainly see how such a thing could improve storytelling. Only that, obviously. It's, after all, very focused advice.
I dunno, I think this writing advice will go largely ignored, and that fics poorly-constructed in this vein will continue to proliferate. A shame, more people could stand to pay attention to and assimilate this writing advice.
Thank you, Chris. There is quite a bit of stotyrelling that could be made better with your advice. Bravo!
Black Lives Matter
What 5279160 said.
People trying to tell others how they should write are the real problem. You just hate Applejack. Sweetie Belle should have chosen a better narrative. All stories matter.
This is such excellent advice, thank you so much.
You're amazing, Chris. I've learned so much about writing today!
This story advice—and absolutely nothing else—is very well-constructed. It can be difficult to present advice about story—and absolutely nothing else—in a compelling or tasteful way, but you have done so eloquently.
I actually read a scholarly article long ago for my degree. It was about a study where they used storytelling to try and set up children to solve problems. (They told children a story about a genie and a broken bridge, then presented them with a real-life version of that bridge as a physics problem.) The study concluded that children clearly delineate between fantasy and reality.
It is not always so simple, of course. What entertainment we consume, and the values it espouses, absolutely have an effect on us. So thank you for taking the time to offer advice about story (but absolutely nothing else).
This. All of this.