Where Have You Been Freesh?

Me: Tell me why I have to do this?

Other Guy: Cause you've been quiet for two months.

Me: Your point is?

Other Guy: Just tell your fans what's up damnit!

Me: I have fans?

Other Guy:

Anyway, the OG is right. I have been very quiet and inactive lately because of several factors, the biggest being Amazon. Oh boy working at amazon fills me with such joy! Every day I come home I wanna eat battery acid soup with a little bit of rust for added flavor, wash it down with cyanide water, and have an asbestos cake for dessert! God... I have never been more exhausted in my life. Three weeks I've been working for sixty hours a week, Saturday to Thursday with Friday being the only time I have to regain my strength and sanity.

Other Guy: If you hate Amazon so much, why don't you quit?

Me: There are a number of factors on why I won't quit, cause as much as I hate working for them, I still believe that Amazon is one of the best companies in these great overindulged states of ours (please stop ordering shit... pls... )

Now, I love the pay, especially with these overtime days. In the words of Trump: My last check was UUUUUGE! That and a guy at my age receive benefits like a 401k, medical, dental, and eyecare is just outright tops. I've also never seen a company (especially a factory job) care about their employees so much. It's like a little family in there. Seeing my supes actually makes my day, and that says a lot since I thought I'd hate my boss's guts! That and we get to win prizes like gift cards, firesticks, big ass TVs, PS4s, XBOX1s, alexas, etc. That and shopping on Amazon is really fucking easy!

Other Guy: You want Amazon to take you to bed also. Apparently you love riding their dick.

Me: Hehehehehe, fuck off!

What I hate about them, and it gets pretty fucking cathartic. Their hours and workload are ungodly! I work ten hours and can only sit for two thirty minute breaks one at 11:15a.m. and another at 3:15p.m. Other than that I cannot sit unless I want a stern talking to and a write up from my supervisors. They keep EVERYTHING confidential. I literally cannot post to any social media the exact rates that I did on that day and how much the building put out. They do their best to make you think that they care about what you say, well, I can say that about the world in general. You suggest something, they say good thinking, and you'll never see the change implemented. The rates are ridiculous. I'm a picker. What I do all day is reach into a bin, pull out one of your butt plugs, put it into a tote, and send them down to packers who put your kinky kinky toys in a box. We have to keep our units per hour (UPH) over 350 consistently, no matter what time of day it is, and if you're hitting below that, your managers will talk to you, retrain you, or write you up. HR is a fucking mess. That's it. They're awful.

But that's what I have been up to if any of you care. Good news is I'm still working on a new story as well as updating old stories. So expect a new sexy Celestia clop fic coming near January. Thanks for listening