The Titans' Orb

by Mister Horncastle

Chapter Twenty: Piece by Piece

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“I knew parrots could mimic human speech, but you can like… talk, talk?” I exclaimed with widened eyes.

“I’m special! I’m special!” Blu replied, bobbing up and down.

Stroking at the parrot’s neck, Fluttershy explained that the bird had revealed himself shortly after I had entered the swamp and waded away with Twilight, Rainbow Dash and AJ. As it happened, he was the bird that had been following us prior to getting captured. We asked why, to which we learned that he had apparently taken an interest in the ponies’ bright colours, and upon hearing Fluttershy speak for the first time, he felt compelled to follow.

Throughout the entire time we were in Inigo’s captivity, the bird had been fluttering around the cartel’s compound, hoping that we would escape. Then just today, whilst the girls were patiently waiting for the portal to open, Blu had plucked up the courage to fly down to say hello. Fluttershy had then sung to the bird, something which he seemed to like, so much in fact that he had chosen to come over and introduce himself, and he had been talking away to her ever since.

“Who’s a pretty pony? Who’s a pretty pony?” he squawked.

“Oh you…” Fluttershy giggled.

Taking off and landing on my shoulder, the bird allowed me to give him a few strokes as well. Fond of the attention, he fluffed up his feathers and told me that I was a nice boy, before fluttering back to the yellow pegasus.

“So uh, to change the subject…” Twilight started, prodding the dead crocodile with a hoof, “Why did you want this thing up here exactly?”

Approaching the croc and squatting down next to it, I told her exactly why, finally coming clean to the whole group about my species’ diet.

“Because, Twilight, I’m absolutely starving, and I’ve always wanted to know what crocodile tastes like.”

Everyone except Fluttershy took a step back and gasped.

“So, you’re a meat eater…” Twilight murmured, “I should have known.”

“Yup, and I’m done pretending it’s a bad thing.”

Rarity demanded to know why they were only just now learning about this. Shrugging, I told them the honest truth; that having only recently met the girls, of whom came from a herbivorous society, I didn’t think that they would be okay with it.

“Mainly though, he thought it would upset me too much.” Fluttershy added.

“Wait, you already knew?” Dashie exclaimed, staring at her fellow pegasus.

Nodding, Fluttershy elaborated as to how she had guessed it from the first day, simply judging from my teeth, and that I had then privately confirmed it to her later on during our time here in Brazil.

“Ahh, was that just a day or two before we were captured?” asked Rarity, “You both stayed behind to speak alone, right? Was that when he told you?”

Fluttershy nodded her head and gave an affirming hum.

“Oh, you mean when I was being an asshole to you about Middy?” Rainbow Dash chuckled awkwardly.

Rolling her eyes, Fluttershy nodded for a second time. She then summed up how she and I had spoken about the subject at length, and that she was perfectly okay with it. Noticing the still-uneasy expressions from most of the girls, she reminded them of how there were a great many races on Equus that ate meat as well, including griffons.

“Yeah, seeing Gilda eat a fish for the first time blew my mind…” said Rainbow, “She straight up scooped it out of the river and swallowed it whole!”

“That’s awful!” Rarity exclaimed.

“At least it was just a fish.” Fluttershy hummed bitterly, “Even outside the Everfree, most of those aren’t sapient. As for other meat sources, you need to get them from a mea-”

“A meat market, I know.” Rainbow cut in, “Gilda took me to one of those too.”

“Why in the wide world would she take you there?” Rarity gasped, “Those places give me such chills.”

“Because I wanted to know what one looked like.”

Inserting myself back into the conversation, I inquired further about these supposed ‘meat markets’. The girls explained to me that there were a few of them dotted around the country, for the purpose of providing meat products to the owners of carnivorous pets, along with feeding the nation’s few meat-eating residents. Despite their existence making perfect sense in a predominantly vegetarian society, hearing about them fascinated me all the same.

“To be clear though, since you’re a meat eater, you are respectful to the critters, right?” asked Applejack, “Before you well… you know?”

“Oh of course!” I confirmed, “Overall as a species, we aim to be as humane as possible towards all the animals we rear for consumption.”

“What does humane mean?” Pinkie inquired, tilting her head.

“It’s a quality.” I told her, “One that denotes compassion, and sympathy to others. When it comes to eating meat, being humane means to ensure there’s as little pain or suffering as possible.”

The girls murmured in understanding, and Rarity delineated that they had a word of the exact same meaning back home, called ‘equane’. With a smile, I doubled down on the fact that I was indeed ‘equane’ to all living creatures, and had respect for all life, including that of the crocodile here in front of me. I patted the beast’s scaly head to emphasise the point, and Rainbow Dash asked how I could possibly respect such a creature, despite the fact it had literally just tried to kill me.

“It only attacked me because it’s in its nature to.” I said, yanking Vladimir’s knife from its eye, “It’s one of the apex predators of this place, so from its perspective, I was just its next meal.”

At that, Pinkie Pie broke into song.

“It’s the circle… The circle… of life!”

We all turned to face the mare to see that she now had a long stick in her mouth, with which she had drawn a big circle in the mud, with the word ‘life’ inscribed in the middle of it.

“Yeah, that.” I chortled.

Awkwardly stepping forward and clearing her throat, Rainbow asked quite bluntly how I would actually go about eating an animal. I clarified to her that unlike Gilda, I most certainly wouldn’t be swallowing anything whole, or raw. She asked why, and I elaborated about how over tens of thousands of years, humans had adapted to eating cooked meat, predominantly muscle tissue, with some of us also opting to eat livers and hearts.

“That said…” I added, “In a few cultures across the globe, people do eat brains and such, but certainly not in any western civilisations, which is where I come from.”

“Right, so uh… I’m assuming you’re wanting to cook this here crocadilly?” asked Applejack.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t dare eat it raw, it would give me food poisoning. I’ll just cut off the good bits, put it in a bag, and cook it later tonight when we make camp.”

“Well, we could make camp now?” Rarity suggested, “I know we’ve not gone quite as far today, but I’m already exhausted.”

“I’m fine with that.” I replied, nodding.

“I think you’ll find that I’m the one who decides whether we stop or not.” Twilight interjected, raising her chin, “But as it were, I think stopping for the day and getting more of our strength back is a good idea.”

{Right, so you were just piping up to hear the sound of your own voice…} I flouted in thought.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash both rolled their eyes in unison, and then took themselves a few yards away to a patch of dry ground away from the bank. They unpacked the gear from Dashie’s bag and started setting up camp, while Rarity was kind enough to acquire some tin foil for me, so that I had somewhere to put all the croc meat. Everyone then left me to my business, clearly not comfortable with what I was about to do. Now on my lonesome, I looked at the crocodile and tightened my grip on Vladimir’s knife, pursing my lips.

“Alright fella, let’s open you up…”

I had skinned quite a handful of animals back in England, so this was hardly new to me; chickens were always in abundance, so I had plenty of practice whenever it was time to butcher one. On top of that, having four acres of land brought many squirrels and rabbits to the area, giving my brother and I plenty to shoot. Hunting was one of our very few bonding activities after dad left. Oliver may have been unfair with me most of the time, but we were always at peace together during those hunts, laying in the grass side by side, rifles in hand. He taught me how best to gut and skin quarry, along with how to cure pelts, should I ever desire to keep one. Not by any standard had he been the best brother to me, but in those fleeting moments, I knew he loved me.

Vladimir’s knife served me well, the blade was incredibly sharp, and after getting through the reptile’s thick hide, it was easy work cleaving through it and carving out the meat worth cooking. I was just about to make an attempt at removing the ribcage when Rainbow Dash boldly approached, curious to witness the process.

“How’s it, uh…” she paused to clear her throat, “How is it going?”

“Not too bad thanks.” I hummed, “I’ve got most of what I want now.”

Using my wrist to wipe the sweat from my brow, I noticed the pegasus looking at my bloodied hands, along with the crocodile’s entrails close by. Gulping nervously, she asked how many times I had done this before.

“Enough to know what I’m doing.” I replied with a shrug.

Following that, I avowed that despite my experience in field-dressing, I had only done so with far less sizable fauna. Admittedly, I was a little out of my league with such a large animal, and gutting it had been a rather daunting task for me.

“Still, I suppose it’s just a matter of upscaling what you’re used to, you know?” I finalised.

“Yeah, I…” she paused again, furrowing her brow, “I guess so.”

“Look, if you’re not able to handle this, then you shouldn’t be over here.” I told her, frowning.

Shaking her head, Rainbow insisted that she was fine. Shrugging in response, I directed my focus back to the crocodile’s ribs. I pulled upwards at them, only for my wet fingers to slip. I may have had experience with small game, but this thing was as big as I was! Never had I expected it to be this challenging, but I was very much enjoying the learning curve. I picked up Vladimir’s knife again and began to hack at the top parts of the ribcage, hoping for the best.

“So uh, what are you doing now?”

“Trying to get the ribs free.” I replied, “Rib meat is some of the tastiest you can get.”

“How come?”

Continuing to chop away, I explained how the intercostal muscles were incredibly tender, and packed with connective tissues that gelatinised when cooked, creating a unique flavour that was absolutely to die for.

“Quite literally, in his case.” I scoffed, patting the upturned creature’s neck.

Rainbow laughed awkwardly, and I gave the ribcage a few more firm strikes. At last, the rack came loose, and I merrily tugged it out of the carcass and laid it down on a fresh sheet of foil. Looking in all directions but me, Dashie inquired if this was something all humans did.

“Nah, most people just get their meat from the shops.” I told her, shaking my head, “Not many people live off the land these days. In fact, not many can even handle the sight of all this.”

“I can see why.”

“Yeah, it’s not for everyone.”

Dipping her head, Rainbow left me to it and returned to the camp. It was perfectly understandable that she would be so disturbed by the scene, but I silently commended her courage to come and look. Gutting and butchering an animal was indeed, messy, but while most were understandably disgusted by the activity, I personally found it morbidly interesting. To open up another living being and examine the bits and pieces that brought it to life, it was nothing short of fascinating to me. In my mind, this was no different to dissecting a frog in a biology lesson, albeit on much bigger proportions…

At long last, the job was complete. With a plentiful amount of muscle wrapped in foil, there was nothing left to do except to dispose of the remains. I dragged the now-lighter body over to the bank and rolled it down into the water, followed by the slimy entrails. I then lay on my stomach and reached down to wash my hands; the water may have been dirty and stagnant, but it was a better alternative to blood and mucus. Looking out across the way, I spotted a second crocodile, bigger than the one I had killed, watching me from afar.

“Sorry, was this a friend of yours?” I muttered to it, smirking.

As though it had heard me, the creature dipped below the surface and disappeared. Huffing with amusement, I picked myself up and looked down at all the meat I had gathered, it was easily enough to feed me for tonight and tomorrow, possibly even the day after. With a devious grin on my face, I licked my lips.

“Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!” I growled, quoting a scene from The Lord of the Rings.

Over three trips, I took the meat parcels to the camp, where Rarity very generously allowed me to put them in the refrigerated section of her bag. I left some out to cook now, as I was utterly famished. Despite us telling her not to, Twilight used her magic to get the fire going. She used telekinesis to create a divot in the earth, before performing the same spell she always did. A little blue flame shot from her horn and landed into the divot, where it began to grow, dancing wildly as it did so. After it had reached the appropriate size, the magical blaze stabilised, settling down into a gently flickering campfire.

“I love magic…” I breathed.

Twilight seemed to be fine from casting the spell, and so we all got ourselves comfortable for the evening. After a moment of simply enjoying the fire’s warmth, I threaded a sharpened stick through the meat and got to cooking, keeping it mostly wrapped in the foil to prevent it from drying out.

“Feed me some! Grrk! Feed me some! Pretty boy!” Blu squawked.

“You want some of this?” I asked, tilting my head to one side.

Jumping up and down with excitement, the macaw eagerly flew over to the meat that I hadn’t yet put on to cook. He then picked up one of the smaller foil-wrapped morsels to me, dropping it into my lap.

{How the hell are you this clever?} I thought, looking at the bird with bewilderment.

Opening the foil, I tore off a few strips of flesh and tossed them to the bird, who quickly gobbled them down and bowed at me with gratitude.

“Croc-a-doodle-doo!” he cawed.

I raised an eyebrow at the bird and pulled a face, not impressed.

“That was corny as all hell, and you know it.”

“My cornographic material is of the highest standard!” he retorted, bobbing his head.

“I’m warning you, parrot.”

He looked at me silently for a moment, before provoking me further.

“Affirmative, Kernel Callum. Quaark!”

I made a lunge for him, to which he took off and flew over to Fluttershy, squawking loudly.

“Don’t eat me! Don’t eat me!”

Everyone laughed and I rolled my eyes, completely and utterly baffled by the cerulean creature’s degree of lucidity. I then looked back to the meat as it began steaming.

“How will you know when it’s cooked exactly?” Rarity inquired, grimacing.

“Well, I’m not sure how it compares to what I’m used to cooking.” I admitted, “The meat’s more pink than it is red, so I’m going to imagine it’ll turn a brownish white colour. If I’m correct, it’ll be ready to eat once it’s white throughout.”

“I see…” she hummed, “Did you uh, need seasoning or anything?”

I thanked her for the kind offer, but refused. Although it would probably taste better with seasoning, I wanted to know exactly what the meat tasted like on its own first, as I would probably never get another opportunity like this. Dipping her head, the unicorn glanced at the faintly sizzling hunk and blinked rapidly, still somewhat uncomfortable.

“You know, I was expecting it to smell something horrible.” Applejack remarked, “But honestly? It ain’t all that bad.”

“With great reluctance, I must concur.” Twilight grumbled.

Chuckling, I continued to slowly rotate the stick above the flame until it was ready, and once it was cool enough to eat, I tucked in. Before I could be asked how good it was, I rolled my eyes back into my skull and emitted a long, satisfied moan, making it very clear how it tasted.

“That good huh?” Dashie asked.

With a deep, rumbling, feral growl, I very emphatically gave my answer.

“Ohhh, yeeaahh…”

I experienced what could only be described as a food-gasm. Even without seasoning, it was utterly delectable, and it wasn’t even as foreign as I had expected it to be. Crocodile meat had always been described as tasting like fishy chicken, but other than a slight tang, I didn’t pick up a fishy flavour at all. Closing my eyes and chewing slowly, I found that it was closer to pheasant in flavour, or perhaps turkey, with a very pork-like consistency. Either way, I loved it.

“I must admit, it actually smells quite… well, quite nice…” Rarity spoke softly.

“Take my word for it, it’s bloody delicious.” I munched happily, “But I don’t think eating it would do you any favours.”

“Darling, I never said I wanted to try it!”

“Yeah, but you thought it.” I replied with a wink.

Explaining that meat was a relatively integral part of a human’s diet, especially mine by preference, I compared my current experience to that of Pinkie Pie getting to taste a heavily frosted cupcake, after formerly believing that she would never eat one again.

“Life without cupcakes!? What putrid words of godless deliration did you just speak to me!?” Pinkie shrieked, glaring at me as though I had just cursed her and her family.

The lot of us erupted into laughter, Twilight included, and with an almighty grin on my face, I took another bite, followed by another, and another. After so long without such flavours, and especially after being starved half to death in the Stock Heap, I was unable to prevent myself from self-indulging. Over the late afternoon, I cooked and ate far more of the meat than I should have…

The sun set at last, and Rainbow Dash came over to stand by me as I lay on my back, groaning.

“Heh, check it out girls.” she giggled, “Callum’s slipped into a food coma.”

“I cannot believe you ate that much.” Rarity tutted, shaking her head.

Pinkie was in utter hysterics at the state of me, and between her laughs and snorts, she commented on how I had eaten more than even she normally could.

“Muurrr…”

“Shoot, with an appetite like that, you could probably beat Big Mac at the pie eating contest at the Appleloosa rodeos!” Applejack hooted, unable to look at me without creasing up.

“Mm-burr…”

“Please tell me you plan on keeping it down.” Twilight muttered.

Slowly raising my arm, I gave the mare a thumbs up. Snickering to herself, Rainbow Dash decided to give my belly a sudden firm prod, sending a wrenching pain into my gut, and evoking a noise from me that could only be compared to that of a cow going into labour.

“What did you do that for?” Pinkie gasped.

“To see if he’d puke or not.”

“Oh for heaven’s sake Rainbow Dash!” Rarity barked, “That was totally uncalled-for, apologise to him!”

“Chillax Rare, I’m just messing around.”

“What you are, is a spiteful little creature, now say you’re sorry!”

“Okay, jeez…” the pegasus sighed, rolling her eyes and looking to face me, “Sorry dude.”

Mumbling my forgiveness, I got up to a cross-legged sitting position, and slowly recovered from my gluttonous state. For the rest of the evening, we relaxed around the fire, and told Blu of our journey so far, and even for a mere bird, his responses were no less human than my own. The macaw seemed genuinely pained to hear of Inigo’s inhospitality, and took to hopping from shoulder to shoulder, tenderly nuzzling into our cheeks and necks with his beak to express his sorrow.

The lot of us got very tearful over the recount of our recent experiences, and soon enough we decided to call it a night before our brittle emotions got the better of us. Blu fluttered up to a nearby branch to sleep, while the rest of us got into our tents. Noticing that I was still wiping at my eyes, Fluttershy draped a wing over me and hushed to me softly. Using a thumb, I felt over the delicate skin where my fingernails were still growing back, along with the dark red dimple from where Twilight had driven that nail in. Gritting my teeth, I shook my head and let out an anguished croak.

“It hurts… so much.”

“I have painkillers if you nee-”

“Not my damn fingers!” I growled, lifting my head up to look at her, “The memories, Fluttershy. Remembering what that bastard did to me, to all of you, it hurts!”

“I know… I know…”

Pulling me towards her, Fluttershy held me tightly, and despite the bitterness in my mind, I was able to slowly calm down, just as she herself began to cry. It went without saying, we drifted off holding each other very closely that night…

The next day, to our sheer amazement and ceaseless gratitude, we discovered that Blu had spent a great deal of the early hours in flight, wherein the bird had been able to locate our mark; the first fragment of the Titans’ Orb. After a quick breakfast, we packed up camp and allowed him to guide us through the rainforest.

I keenly watched the bird as he led the way, performing barrel rolls and somersaults as he went, which seemed to be more for his own enjoyment than it was for ours. He was evidently pleased to be such a big help to us, and as I studied him, I couldn’t help but wonder if magic was involved when it came to his unnatural sapience. No bird was this intelligent, and no creature beyond humans possessed such a degree of rational consciousness; no, magic had to be involved.

“Fluttershy?”

The pegasus merely hummed in response to my call, for she was also captivated by Blu’s aerial display. Coming to walk beside her, I asked the mare for an exact account of how she had actually met the bird. Finally looking away from Blu to meet my gaze, she repeated what she had said yesterday.

“You, Rainbow, Applejack and Twilight were wading away, and the little guy just came out of nowhere. He landed close by, and I sang to him, which was when he came over and said hello.”

“Huh, interesting…” I muttered, mostly to myself, “And your animal friends in Equestria, do you sing to them too?”

“Why yes, all the time!” she squeaked, “In fact, singing is usually what makes them want to approach me.”

That was it, Fluttershy’s singing was the key! For whatever reason, it seemed that Fluttershy’s voice, or at least, her singing voice, contained some form of innate magic, one that could connect to the minds of animals. It was almost as though she could enchant them with her voice, enhancing their cognitive functions. Even without a horn, it seemed that Fluttershy was somehow capable of casting magic.

{If only Twilight and I were on better terms…} I thought to myself, {We could run an experiment, and uncover the truth behind this buttery songstress…}

Judging from Fluttershy’s dialogue, it didn’t seem that she was aware of her abilities. I was just considering pointing it out, when Applejack’s disgruntled voice sounded off from the front of the group.

“Oh for pity’s sake, more dang water!”

I caught up with her to find that we had indeed reached another large expanse of water. This time however, unlike the submergent wetlands from yesterday, the area before us was that of a lake.

“Raark! Shiny in the pool! Shiny in the pool!” Blu squawked, landing on my shoulder.

“Wait, the Orb fragment? It’s in the water?” I quizzed.

“Yep-yep-yep! You got it! You got it! Quaark!”

“Well, I guess we’re swimming then.”

“Yeah, um… I don’t swim so good.” said Rainbow Dash.

“None of us do.” Applejack added.

“What?” I replied, dumbfounded.

“Ponies don’t swim very well, darling.” Rarity explained, “Hooves aren’t exactly the best for aquatic movement.”

“But, in the show, ponies swim plenty of times…”

“Fantasy versus reality, for the millionth time!” Twilight snapped, glaring at me.

“Okay, granted, but even here on Earth, horses and ponies can swim.”

“We can swim, just not very well, dear.” Rarity clarified.

Shrugging, I mumbled that I would be swimming solo then, to which Applejack gulped loudly.

“Uhm, I don’t think anyone’s going to be swimming Sugarcube. That there water is teaming with more of them scaly varmints!”

Looking over to the right, I spotted them too. Seven or eight crocodiles were basking at the water’s edge, and they weren’t like the one I had killed yesterday, they were all pale and glossy, and easily twice the size.

“Yeah, uh, crocodiles aren’t supposed to look like that.” I said, pointing a finger at them.

“They’re freaking huge!” Rainbow Dash blurted out.

Looking to Twilight, I instructed her to scan for the Orb’s signature.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” she spat, her face rife with disgust.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Twi, can we not?” I snapped, rolling my eyes, “Can we not do this right now? We’re literally at a piece of your damn Orb! Spare me the attitude and look for the bloody signature will you?”

Kissing her teeth and mouthing something most unpleasant, the unicorn’s horn lit up. She shut her eyes and then projected a thin laser beam into the lake. The water then visibly rippled with a shimmer of magenta, and the mare nodded her head upon gathering information.

“Well, I’ve got good news and bad news.” she spoke.

We all gestured for her to continue, to which she revealed that the shard was buried at the bottom of the lake, right in the middle, where it would be incredibly difficult to find.

“And the good news?” I asked, raising my hands.

“That was the good news.”

Dropping my hands again, I shuddered with fright as Twilight elucidated us on the bad news. This lake contained a little over twenty crocodiles, all of which bore traces of magic, suggesting that prolonged exposure to the Orb fragment had enhanced them, explaining their size and discolouration.

“So, what you’re telling me, is that your bloody relic is being guarded by two-dozen super-crocs?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

“Perfect!”

“You’re still getting that shard.”

“Uh, you’ve got to be fucking joking?” I scoffed, recoiling from her.

Rainbow stepped in and asked why Twilight couldn’t just levitate it out, to which she gave some bogus excuse about how the Orb, even just a piece of it, couldn’t be handled by magic. Supposedly, it needed to be retrieved by hoof, or in this case, by hand. Frankly, I didn’t buy it, but if Twilight was insisting that I had to retrieve the shard, then somehow, I had to get it done. Sighing with frustration, I speculated that we could bait the crocodiles away somehow, with the only alternative being that I somehow killed them one by one.

“You think you’re capable of doing that?” Applejack quizzed.

“Not really, no!” I shouted, “I barely survived the last crocodile encounter, and that was just a normal one, not one that’s been supercharged by a piece of your magic fucking pebble!”

“Hey, don’t get snappy with me!”

“I’m sorry, but Twilight’s basically insisting that those über-crocs get snappy with me!”

“Surely we can bait them away somehow?” Rarity said with assurance, trying to calm me down.

That was when Rainbow Dash gasped loudly.

“I know! What if you clone Callum again, like you did in England? The clone could distract the crocs, while the real Callum swims down to get the Orb shard?”

“You know, that could actually work.” I mumbled.

Twilight thought about it for a moment, her eyes darting around. Not wanting her friends to step in as bait, she eventually nodded her head and agreed, eager to have the shard in our possession. Ordering me to stand still, her horn began to glow, and just like the first two times, a colourful hue outlined my body as I felt warmer and warmer. The ball of light then manifested before me, drawing in the details of my being, before slowly replicating every facet of me, as though it were a biological Three-D printer. It stretched out into the shape of a human being before flashing brightly, and in its place stood, well… me.

“I’ve got thinner.”

“Oh I’m glad you noticed.” the clone replied merrily, “I’ve been on the Stock Heap diet, you should really try it.”

“Been there, done that, got the trauma.” I retorted.

We both laughed at ourself, and I circled my doppelgänger, eyeing him up and smirking.

“Is it weird to be mildly attracted to yourself?”

“I won’t tell if you won’t.” he replied.

At that, the group broke into laughter, greatly amused by the exchange.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Rainbow Dash chanted.

Admittedly tempted, just to say that I had, I glanced at my clone cautiously, and he glanced at me in the exact same way. However, before things could go any further down such a route, Twilight ordered us to get moving and do our jobs. Rolling our eyes in unison, my clone and I got to business, with my magical duplicate putting his hands on his hips.

“Righty tighty, let’s piss off some über-crocs and likely die in the process.” he said merrily, stretching.

“He won’t feel anything if he gets caught, right?” I asked.

Blinking rapidly for a moment, Twilight shook her head and assured me that the clone had been created without functioning pain receptors. At this, the clone let out a hum, before making an awfully bold statement.

“Oh how kind of you, and here I was thinking you were a heartless bitch!”

“I can always revert that.”

“Nice pony! Nice pony!” he squawked, impersonating Blu.

“Don’t copy me! Don’t copy me!” Blu carked loudly in response.

He then turned away and veered off to the right, heading towards the lakeside in preparation to become live bait. I watched him go, and was about to ask Twilight more questions about how cloning really worked, when she pointed out that I was stalling.

“Yeah, maybe because I don’t want to jump into a crocodile infested lake!”

“I could use my magic to throw you in there if you’d like?”

At first, the empty threat seemed absurd, but then it dawned on me that such an act could actually work to our advantage.

“Funny enough, now you’ve said that.” I began, “What if you levitated me above the water? You could lift me exactly above where the shard is, and then I can just swim down and grab it. Otherwise I’ll be fumbling around for ages in there. It’s safer for me, and it’s quicker for you.”

“Alright, sounds good.”

Her response was enough to tell me that she was genuinely fond of the idea. Glad to have suggested something that aligned with her, I smiled and looked over to my replica, nodding my head. He gave a salute, and then merrily skipped over to where most of the crocodiles were dwelling. I tightened my lips as I watched him go, realising just how eager he was, despite knowing his task. And then, from the depths of my mind, a very dark thought emerged. Before meeting the girls, my suicidal thoughts were rampant; rarely a day had gone by where I hadn’t thought about the long drop, from the short rope. My clone shared these thoughts, and unlike me, he was completely and utterly expendable. Whether the crocodiles got him, or Twilight deleted him upon my retrieval of the Orb fragment, he was inevitably going to die today, and he wouldn’t even feel pain when it happened. Gulping, I realised that he wanted this, and deep down, a crude little part of me envied him…

Opening my rucksack, I retrieved my swimming goggles from one of the inner pockets. Though the cartel had taken all the food, everything else had been left untouched, just as my phone had been. With that, I took off my trousers, shoes, and socks, to which the girls asked me what I was doing. Before I could answer them, Twilight butted in to clarify.

“No different to on Equus, fabric is heavier when wet. His clothing would no doubt absorb plenty of water, making it harder for him to swim, similar to what our fur does, but a whole lot worse. Plus it would trap air, adding to his buoyancy, which wouldn’t be ideal when he’s supposed to be visiting the bottom of the lake.”

“Egghead…” Rainbow Dash whispered.

Dipping my head to thank Twilight for her lengthy explanation, I put the goggles on and looked over to my clone. The utter moron, of whom was myself, was prancing around the lake, kicking up water and acting like an utter clown, shrieking out in a high-pitched voice.

“Here fishy fishy fishy fishy FISH-EEEEHH!”

His antics worked flawlessly. The crocodiles already at the surface made their way towards him, and from the depths of the lake, rose the pale bodies of more. Fearlessly continuing to skip and dance around them, my clone taunted the creatures.

“Step right up! Step right up! Living, breathing, all-you-can-eat buffet! All cuts of meat! Liver! Heart! Ribs! And one massive sausage! Okay, I lied, it’s just a little above average, but it’s still tasty!”

From behind me came a giggling from the girls, with Rainbow Dash telling me that I was completely insane. Still undeterred by the growing reptilian audience, my clone continued.

“And on the special’s menu… guess what I have? A brain! Get your brains here! Juicy brain! Fresh! Barely used! Come and get it!”

Suddenly, a crocodile burst forth from the water, causing us all to jump in shock. Miraculously, the clone was able to dodge the unexpected attack, and roared with laughter.

“I said barely used, croccy boy! Barely!”

Turning to Twilight, I asked her to scan the lake for a second time, just to see if the coast was clear yet. Sniffing with annoyance, she did as I requested, and confirmed that the clone had most certainly done his job.

“There are still some under the water, but they’re going towards him now.”

Nodding, I put my goggles on and allowed Twilight to seize me with her telekinetic grasp. The sensation was bizarre, and it took every ounce of my self-control not to flail in an attempt to catch myself as I was hoisted upwards.

“Now this is trippy…” I murmured.

The unicorn lifted me up above the lake and I gulped nervously upon seeing the dark shapes of more crocodiles just beneath the surface, speeding past me and towards my clone. Once they were well away from me, I put my arms up into a diving position, signalling to Twilight that I was ready. She flipped me upside down and I took a deep breath. She then released me gradually, and I slipped into the water without much of a splash. In truth, I had been expecting her to drop me from a height, so I guessed that she had been telling the truth about needing someone to retrieve the Orb piece manually.

The water was surprisingly clear with the goggles, and it didn’t take long for me to locate the bottom of the lake. Trying not to disturb the dirt too much, I dug my hands down and started feeling around, hoping to locate the fragment on my first dive.

{Come on… Come on… Where are you?} I thought, forcing out some air to remain at the lake bed.

I then jumped out of my skin and let out even more air, upon coming face to face with one of the crocodiles. Its mouth was halfway ajar, and its eyes were wide open, halfway rotted. To my absolute relief, this one was dead, but the shock regardless had completely thrown me. After a feeble attempt to find the shard with my remaining air, I eventually gave up and pushed myself upward, and as I broke the surface, I immediately heard a most harrowing sound.
Looking over to the far bank, I saw my clone, screaming at the top of his lungs, hopelessly clawing away from the crocodiles, his right leg mangled and bloodied. One of the crocodiles, its mouth already stained with his blood, my blood, made a second lunge for him. I could only watch on in bone-chilling horror as the beast took a hold of his wrist and pulled him back down to the water, where two other crocs partook in the slaughter. A fourth then joined in, butting a smaller crocodile out of the way to grab a mouthful of my replicated flesh. The poor boy was torn asunder as he screeched his final breaths, his voice brimming with agonised terror.

{You made him feel pain…}

Twilight fucking Sparkle, that… that monster.
She had lied to me; this wasn’t just a distraction, it was an execution. Looking over at the unicorn, I saw her intently watching the massacre, and although she was too far to properly gauge her facial expression, I could only guess that she was enjoying herself. The others were looking away, covering their ears, clearly just as horrified as I was. Gritting my teeth and snarling, I dove back down beneath the surface in search of her precious prize. I was going to get this damn Orb fragment, and then I was going to deal with that backstabbing slime of a pony.

{Come on you shiny little bastard, show yourself…}

I kept feeling around, and then, there it was, a dim glow to my left! Swimming towards it, I dug my hands deep into the soil, and after getting through nearly a foot of mud, I felt something hard. I gripped it tightly, to which a freezing cold sensation shot through my body, followed by pins-and-needles inside my skull. My vision blurred and my temples pounded, and then, a thought came rushing into my head, a thought that I hadn’t conjured myself.

{Well, this is unexpected… What are you then, my furless little friend?}

The thought came to me in a thick Scottish accent, but before I could question what was happening, my air supply ran out. My lungs started to convulse, and I knew that I needed to return to the surface. Tugging upwards, I yanked the Orb shard free to find that it was far bigger than I had realised. Despite being just one of the six pieces, it was twice the size of my own fist! There was no telling how big the whole Orb was, but if this piece was anything to go by, it was easily bigger than my head. Pushing myself upwards with the crystalline chunk now in hand, I reached the surface and took in an almighty breath of air, before paddling back to the girls as quickly as possible.

“Do you have it?” Twilight called out to me.

I ignored her and kept swimming, which was when Rainbow Dash cried out.

“Dude, behind you!”

Looking back for just a second, I saw one of the hungering über-crocs floating towards me. I knew the beast would pick up its speed if I did, so I forced myself to maintain a calm breaststroke and prayed that I could reach the shore in time.

“He’s gaining on you!” Pinkie screamed.

Gulping, I forwent my first notion and burst into a front-crawl, kicking and splashing my way forward as fast as my body could carry me. By some grace, I reached the shore and started to clamber up, but the bloodthirsty reptile wasn’t going to let me get away that easily. The creature launched forward and slammed its long snout into my back, sending me hurtling forward onto my stomach. The Orb shard flew from my hands and landed on the ground beside me, just as the beast’s massive head pushed down against my lower back. Rarity shrieked my name at the top of her lungs, and I frantically rolled over and used my thighs to hug the creature’s neck. It pulled back and I was taken with it, but I knew that letting go would allow it to snatch my legs, and so I held on tightly. I wasn’t in the mood for dying twice today, and after the croc made a terrifying snap for my face, I kicked it away and scrambled back. It lunged again, and I pounced onto the animal, taking Steve Irwin’s approach of grabbing its head behind the jaws and using my body weight to pin it down.

“The knife! The knife!” I hollered.

Rainbow Dash and Rarity both scrambled to my rucksack to retrieve the blade, while I desperately tried to keep the crocodile in place. Without warning, it thrust its head back, hitting me in the face and knocking me off balance. It then whipped around and caught my wrist in its maw and pulled me towards the water, causing me to let out a booming howl of agony. The girls were all terrified to get involved, with Fluttershy literally wailing at the scene. Punching the beast in the eye, I was able to make it let go, and once again straddled it. Rarity then levitated the knife over to me, and I made no hesitation to grab it by the handle and plunge it down into the crocodile’s head, but alas, it hadn’t gone deep enough.

Now in distress, the monstrous lizard started lashing out violently, before rolling onto its back, throwing me off. The knife remained buried in the top of its head, and using this to my advantage, I mounted it for a third time, pushing into the underside of its mouth and forcing it down with all my might. The blade was driven deeper and punctured its brain, which the animal responded to by thrashing even more erratically, before finally coming to an abrupt halt. With the beast dead, I stumbled away from it and flopped onto my back, panting heavily.

“I… hate… crocodiles…”

The girls rushed to me, all shocked and full of awe. A sobbing Fluttershy demanded to know if I was alright, to which I nodded, holding up my arm for her to see. The bite, albeit bleeding, wasn’t too horrendous; a touch of Oozima and I would be fine.

“Dude, you’re a freaking legend…” Rainbow breathed, her mouth agape.

“You know what, after that? Yeah… I am!”

Still puffing heavily, I got to my feet and picked up the Orb fragment, wiping the mud from it and giving it a proper inspection.

{So, this is what all the fuss is about.} I murmured in thought.

It was absolutely phenomenal to look at. The piece was slightly translucent, with a dark navy hue to it, but upon holding it steady, I saw swirls and ripples of lighter blues and purples within, pulsating with energy of untold potency.

This mesmerising chunk of crystal, had been created by literal gods…

“Finally, we have it.” said Twilight, stepping towards me.

I turned to face the unicorn and stared at her blankly.

“Give it to me.”

Ignoring her command, I continued to stare at her, expressionless. My mind then replayed the clone’s death; over and over, I saw myself being ripped apart by those creatures, screaming out in legitimate suffering.

“Are you deaf? I said, give it to me!”

Slowly, I extended my arm and gave the titanstone fragment to Twilight. Taking it with a hoof, she held it up to the light and sighed heavily, basking in its beauty, as I had. This moment undoubtedly meant everything to her. At last, she finally had a part of what she had been sent here to acquire; a vital piece of her homeland, now safely in her ownership.

Touched by the significance of this moment, I smiled warmly at the purple unicorn.
And then I punched her in the face.

---

Comments

[MikiStenbeck]

{ Well, this is unexpected… What are you then, my furless little friend? }

THE GLORIUS RETURN OF ONE OF THIS STORY BEST BOIS!

[PonyJoe1]

11908748
I've been eagerly awaiting his return.
First we get Blu, then this absolute LEGEND.
Man can you imagine how brilliant he's going to be in the Rising Storm rewrite?

[PonyJoe1]

You know, I have to admit, despite how things turn out in the later books, punching Twilight in the face at the end of this chapter will never not be such a satisfying moment. I love where her character arc takes her, but GODDAMN she had this coming to her...

[MikiStenbeck]

11908755
ohhh yea.... i bet we're gonna roar our asses off. XD

[Twanklight Borkle]

The albino chomp logs are not friend.