//------------------------------// // The Coolest Fridge of All Time // Story: Celestia's Crazy Contraptions // by Lucky Seven //------------------------------// “I don’t think this is a very good idea, Princess.” “Not to worry, Twilight, I know exactly what I’m doing,” Princess Celestia coolly responded to her pupil’s voice of concern. The two were currently located in the basement of Canterlot Castle, positioned in front of a large metal table. On the table was an assortment of tools and construction pieces, as well as plans for the project being built. Picking up the plans, Twilight groaned. “See, I’m not sure you do. Your plan for what you call… ‘Equestria’s Coldest and Most Bitchin’ Fridge Ever’? It doesn’t look like it adheres to any of the safety protocols for food storage equipment.” “Protocol, schmotocol. I’m Princess Celestia! I can do whatever I want, and that includes creating the most bitchin’ fridge in Equestria.” Twilight didn’t protest any further, choosing to watch Celestia go to work on what was sure to be the most dangerous device ever created. Not only was the wattage required to power it nearly the same as that of Ponyville as a whole, but it was going to use possibly the most dangerous liquid coolant it could. “Twilight, be a pal and hand me the container of liquid nitrogen, would you?” Celestia’s request shook Twilight from her thoughts, and she quickly did as she was told, picking up the container with her magic and floating it over to the princess. “Don’t you think liquid nitrogen is a bit, um, hazardous?” “Nonsense! Plenty of ponies use it to cool their new fangled computers nowadays, so what’s the harm in using it in a fridge?” “... No they don’t.” “Oh, they don’t?” Celestia asked, tilting her head to the side in confusion. “I was sure they did.” “They use water, Princess. Not a liquid that could freeze you entirely. Water,” Twilight replied, fighting the urge to bang her head against the table. “Oh, well I suppose that explains how Luna spilled some on herself and was fine. Whoops!” The only response Twilight could muster was to finally give in and bang her head against the table as hard as she could. Celestia simply laughed at her antics and went back to working on the fridge. For the next few minutes, neither pony spoke aside from Celestia occasionally asking Twilight to hand her something. The silence was broken, though, when Celestia thought of something. Something… incredibly stupid. “Wait, I just had the perfect idea for an additional power source!” she exclaimed to Twilight’s horror. The bookworm didn’t even bother asking Celestia just what it was she had planned, instead choosing to wait for her to explain it further. “If I add a nuclear fission reactor, it’s bound to run at maximum capacity!” “WHAT!? ARE YOU INSANE!? YOU CAN’T JUST BRING A NUCLEAR REACTOR INTO CANTERLOT!” “Princess,” Celestia quickly retorted. “But you–” “Princess.” “Fine, whatever, blow up Canterlot!” Feeling triumphant, Celestia quickly rose from the bench the two were sitting on and exited the basement. While she was gone, Twilight began taking a closer look at the plans for the fridge. Based on everything Celestia had written down, it was indeed going to be the coldest fridge in the world. Not only that, but the most dangerous fridge in the known universe. For the next thirty minutes, Twilight simply imagined various scenarios where this could go horribly wrong. She did her best to think of one in which the fridge would work perfectly fine, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t. It was simply doomed to fail, she told herself. Finally, after what seemed like another hour, the door to the basement swung open. “I got it, Twilight!” Celestia yelled out from behind the large object in front of her, choosing to simply throw the object in the direction of Twilight instead of carrying it down the stairs. Twilight, to her credit, was able to grab it in mid-air with her magic and set it down gently by the table. “Yeah, just throw the nuclear reactor down some stairs. I’m sure that’s safe,” Twilight observed sarcastically. “Where in the hell did you get this thing, anyways?” “I had Discord make one for me,” she replied quickly, as if it was the easiest thing she had done all day. “Why do you care? If you think my fridge is unsafe, you can just leave.” “Trust me, princess, I would. But I need to be here in case you do something really stu- No, you know what? This whole thing is stupid. Your fridge is stupid, your nuclear reactor is stupid, and you’re stupid!” “You’ll see how wrong you are in just about five minutes, Twilight. This fridge is going to be the most successful invention of the century, just you wait!” And wait she did, watching quietly as Celestia fumbled around with hooking up her fridge to a freakin’ nuclear reactor. Twilight was at least sure that the nuclear reactor wouldn’t melt down, though. Discord likely cast some sort of spell preventing it from doing that, because after all, he wasn’t the suicidal type. “And… done!” “It’s… done? Really?” “Yeah, and you were so worried…” Celestia teased Twilight. Twilight, however, was too stunned to respond. Nothing had gone wrong. Somehow, Celestia had built a device that seemed to run perfectly fine. The low hum the fridge was giving off was almost music to her ears. “Want to give it a test run, Twilight?” “Um, I guess?” she replied, unsure if she really wanted to. It was one thing that the fridge seemed safe when it was closed, but Celestia had put liquid nitrogen inside. What if she opened it and it was leaking? That would be bad. “I can tell you’re worried, Twilight, your face says it all. I promise you, it works perfectly fine!” “Well, alright…” Twilight let out a sigh and grabbed the handle of the fridge. As soon as she pulled the door open, she was thrown back by a torrent of snow the likes of which she had never seen. Within moments, the snow had broken out of the basement and covered all of Canterlot and then Equestria and then the world. Celestia could only manage one word. “Whoops.”