I wrote a short story for a comment and thought I should share. Enjoy.

"Ah- *Belch* Ah tell ya, Mar. I knew she was trouble the moment that sssssssstupid pony walked inta mah life." Salted Comma rambled drunkenly, waving his mug of in the air before tipping its contents down his gullet. Meanwhile 'Mar' simply nodded along with Comma's undignified slurs, offering a quiet 'mm hmm' when appropriate. "She always finds sssssoOOME OTHER STALLION AHN SAY'S 'we gotta take a break'," Salt threw up the best air quotes hooves would allow while his voice adopted a mocking falsetto. "Then a week later she gets bored of the dumb schmuck and comes slinking back LIKE NUTHIN happened. With them big ol' puppy dog eyes and all that sweet talk. 'I was just confused, you're the only one for me!" He pantomimed, with the high pitch making a return appearance before he laid his head down, as if the cold table would whisper the answer to his lady troubles. "How many times has she pulled this stunt? Ah, ah don't even remember anymer." He mumbled in to the pine.

"Eight times," answered Mar, "nine if you count that one night with Hay Roll."

"Hey that don't count," Salt's head shooting up off the table glaring at his friend, "she was reeeally drunk. Side's, she said she was sorry." His baleful gaze dropped from his friend to his drink, the sixth one tonight. "She said she was sorry." He mumbled.

Mar apparently didn't feel the need to comment and simply sat.

Salt seemed like he was trying to say something, he was working his mouth like he had to chew the words before he could speak them. "I'm going to give her one more chance. This is it, the last time."

"Are you sure? You've said that before too."

Comma shook his head "No, I-" Unfortunately his head shaking shook him a little more than he anticipated and sent him to the floor. After a few attempts to get up on his own failed, a mane filled with gentle golden curls suddenly filled his sight as he was lifted into a standing position. "Thanks, Mar." He said as his eyelids became harder to keep open. "Yur a good friend."

Had his eyes been open at the time, he would have seen the look of hurt flash across Marigold's face at the word 'friend'. It was brief, but it was there. She worked Salt onto her slender back as he dropped into a unsteady slumber. She looked at his sleeping face hanging from her shoulder and gently nuzzled his cheek. The embrace was almost chaste. Almost. And with heavy hooves she slowly made her way towards the door with Salt in tow. She had to get him home, even if in her heart of hearts she didn't want to.

Report JarOfHearts · 215 views ·

Latest Stories

Top Ten Favourites Pt. 1

  • Airborne A misnamed colt and a misplaced human Soldier find friendship despite the barriers between them. by Fernin 23,992 words · 3,657 views · 148 likes · 6 dislikes
  • The Conversion Bureau: Last Man Standing What is there that is left for a human in a world full of ponies? by Windchaser 57,971 words · 16,900 views · 416 likes · 39 dislikes
  • A Dream A not so standard human-in-Equestria story including but not limited to: democracy, tequila, and robots. by totallynotabrony 354,503 words · 19,083 views · 1,656 likes · 162 dislikes
  • The Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog A human finds himself in Equestria... He decides to forsake Ponyville and see the world instead. by Rust 129,595 words · 29,926 views · 3,753 likes · 113 dislikes
  • Griffin the Griffin Name's Griffin, I'm sarcastic, I'm crude, and I'm a brony. by BlackWing 345,583 words · 26,597 views · 2,870 likes · 253 dislikes

Top Ten Favourites Pt. 2

  • It Takes a Village Spike only wants things to stay the same. Time, however, has other ideas. He's going to need help... by determamfidd 148,765 words · 35,198 views · 3,370 likes · 60 dislikes
  • Arrow 18 Mission Logs: Lone Ranger A mission to investigate a far off world takes an interesting twist. by AdmiralTigerclaw 66,597 words · 51,114 views · 5,061 likes · 83 dislikes
  • ARTICLE 2 An alien crash lands in Equestria. It calls itself human. by Muppetz 185,629 words · 48,991 views · 4,565 likes · 143 dislikes
  • Whip and Wing Daring Do & Indiana Jones battle each others' enemies in a race to save their worlds and themselves. by Fernin 55,000 words · 17,932 views · 1,499 likes · 26 dislikes
  • A Ghost Story A human's insubstantial adventures in Equestria. by Elemist 87,018 words · 22,344 views · 2,748 likes · 68 dislikes

For Shits and Giggles

  • WD: The HiE Experiment WD dies and ends up in Equestria. Then dies again. And again. And again. by Wanderer D 46,078 words · 8,425 views · 840 likes · 41 dislikes
  • Discord Babysitting In an alternate reality, Discord's been the best babysitter in Equestria for two thousand years. by ChinchillaKingXam 24,039 words · 15,928 views · 760 likes · 21 dislikes
  • This isn't my House! A man and a unicorn discover their bathroom is no longer their own and other tales. by treg388 13,118 words · 14,546 views · 1,038 likes · 20 dislikes
  • Retired to Equestria Retirement has never been this much fun by Yet Another Mask 110,768 words · 11,802 views · 930 likes · 28 dislikes
  • Viewing 111 - 115 of 115
#115 · 42w, 1d ago · · ·



I need this story...

That thread made me addicted to that idea


#114 · 58w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2124588 10/10 i like it

#113 · 58w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2124580 Something similar but different, based on the blog post Here

#112 · 58w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2124578 what new story are you goin to make?...

  • Viewing 111 - 115 of 115
Login or register to comment