126 members follow Impossible Numbers

Impossible Numbers follows 79 members

Guilds and Societies

Specimens of Interest

  • A Cup of Joe Our Pony Joe runs his doughnut shop, chats with his regulars...and lives in the shadow of a memory. by The Descendant 17,431 words · 8,159 views · 911 likes · 13 dislikes
  • Binky Pie by Miyajima 53,100 words · 14,375 views · 852 likes · 13 dislikes
  • Canterlot Follies Young Birdy is sent to Canterlot to steal an artifact and bolster Prince Blueblood's reputation. by LadyMoondancer 51,500 words · 24,498 views · 92 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Daring Do Bakes a Cake Dinner with Daring Do and her mother. by Lucky Dreams 6,365 words · 5,346 views · 225 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Derplicity Derpy Hooves is secretly a changeling. Nopony particularly notices, or cares. by Skywriter 7,984 words · 31,784 views · 3,123 likes · 44 dislikes

Specimens of Interest

  • En Fuego A conversation with Applejack spurs Fluttershy to check up on Twilight's mental well-being. Twilight's reaction to her encouragement, however, is probably not what she had in mind... by Mayclore 13,296 words · 6,713 views · 465 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Excerpts from a Filthy Diary Excerpts from Filthy Rich's diary, shedding light on a side of him you probably didn't know. by SR Foxley 20,834 words · 2,712 views · 101 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Fluttershy's Bad "Hare" Day Fluttershy turns into a rabbit by Pegasus Rescue Brigade 58,950 words · 17,609 views · 1,351 likes · 22 dislikes
  • Guardians of the Old Forest For centuries, timberwolves have guarded their secrets in the deepest corners of the old forest, but that may change when Roseluck stumbles in. A war is brewing under the shadows of the trees. by ocalhoun 17,659 words · 823 views · 75 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Gummy Tries All Day Long Gummy struggles to reach the Ponyville River. All of Ponyville tries to stop him. by Cloud Wander 5,873 words · 3,268 views · 299 likes · 3 dislikes

Specimens of Interest

  • Rainbow Dash's Tallest Tales Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts get tangled up with a gang of pirates. That's what Dash says, anyway. by Sciz 31,268 words · 1,944 views · 56 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Rites of Ascension Twilight makes a new spell and starts the gears of fate with her ascension to alicornhood. (Writing started before Season 3.) by CvBrony 456,309 words · 27,676 views · 2,517 likes · 65 dislikes
  • Short Cakes The Cake twins discover Ponyville. by Cloud Wander 5,885 words · 4,695 views · 355 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Sunny Skies All Day Long Celestia's Day Off by PhantomFox 8,536 words · 84,483 views · 8,686 likes · 140 dislikes
  • Surface Deep Rarity is Ponyville's most elegant pony. What made her that way? The answer lies beneath the surface by TheSlorg 5,652 words · 2,612 views · 122 likes · 5 dislikes

Specimens of Interest

  • The Contest Fluttershy returns to defend her title as Quiet Game world champion. by Cold in Gardez 6,714 words · 36,606 views · 1,796 likes · 25 dislikes
  • The Rummy Business of Old Blooey What ho! Big doin's on the night of the Grand Galloping Gala! by Cloud Wander 8,541 words · 2,136 views · 193 likes · 4 dislikes
  • The Sweetie Chronicles: Fragments Sweetie Belle must find Twilight by travelling through different Fanfic worlds... by Wanderer D 452,911 words · 34,530 views · 3,007 likes · 59 dislikes
  • Whip and Wing Daring Do & Indiana Jones battle each others' enemies in a race to save their worlds and themselves. by Fernin 55,000 words · 18,127 views · 1,506 likes · 26 dislikes

Welcome Centre and Landmark Attractions

Notable Exhibits from 2016

  • Eights Week Princess Celestia, forced to endure yet another tedious major event, reminisces over much better times. by Impossible Numbers 1,685 words · 318 views · 39 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Hive Versus Hive Seabreeze wants nothing more than to stay at home and relax with his family. But after his lucky escape from the Big World of the ponies, he's gained some unwelcome attention, and not just from overawed Breezie neighbours... by Impossible Numbers 46,644 words · 132 views · 11 likes · 0 dislikes
  • Practical Nightmares Only Golden Harvest always takes pains to be the sensible one for others, but that's easier said than done when Muffins has something "ambitious" planned for Nightmare Night. by Impossible Numbers 9,608 words · 379 views · 17 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Splash Dash Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and the one and only Rainbow Dash chill out in the river, and thrash out a silly story amongst themselves while doing it. by Impossible Numbers 9,822 words · 755 views · 44 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Villainy Abroad Two henchmares-for-hire, Carmine and Vanilla, are out on yet another assignment for some artefact or other. It was supposed to be just another routine "pick-up", but then henchmares don't have the best job security in the world. by Impossible Numbers 20,390 words · 113 views

Contestants in the World-Building Alliance Competitions

  • An Old Tale in a New World At this turning point of history, a new frontier is colonized from across the seas. One orange farmer's foal is stolen away, and a new tale arises when three unlikely creatures all meet at the Duende Inn. by Impossible Numbers 12,558 words · 178 views
  • Diminished When the Queen of the Changelings refuses to stick her neck out for a dying soldier, Moulder’s passionate love drives her beyond convention to seek a deal with the dreaded Sorceress, who seems more interested in a fairy tale from long ago. by Impossible Numbers 9,576 words · 217 views · 11 likes · 0 dislikes
  • The Last of Lapis Lazuli Lazuli is just another slave, one of many of the Crystal Empire. Her king keeps her fellow ponies safe from a dangerous foe, or so it seems. Yet, her treasonous thoughts refuse to lie, and there's only one other she can turn to for one last talk by Impossible Numbers 4,566 words · 615 views · 21 likes · 0 dislikes
  • Laurels The crystal ponies have captured a trespassing diamond dog, but for Electra, there's more at stake here than simply wondering how best to treat an old pest in a new world... by Impossible Numbers 4,358 words · 1,065 views · 52 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Monster Catchers Jitters the donkey is a professional monster catcher in his village, but doesn't take well to the news that his next commission involves teaming up with a newcomer from the city against a particularly tricky customer. by Impossible Numbers 5,317 words · 255 views · 10 likes · 1 dislikes

Museum of Unnatural History: Free Admission

  • E Metal Celestia

    During the early days of Equestria, Clover the Clever's friend Duchess Celestia accepts a mission to safeguard the new union. Unfortunately, someone is unhappy with said union, and especially with her...  · Impossible Numbers
    20,648 words · 80 views  ·  10  ·  1
  • E Transient

    Pinkie and Rarity reluctantly venture into the strange caves of the far reaches of Equestria. The map must have sent them there for a reason, after all. Hopefully, they'll live long enough to figure out what it is.  · Impossible Numbers
    15,434 words · 209 views  ·  16  ·  0
  • E Beautiful Lives

    Zephyr Breeze has just died due to his own neglect. This isn’t surprising, even to him. What IS surprising is what happens next.  · Impossible Numbers
    9,562 words · 489 views  ·  35  ·  0
  • E As Winter Dies, So Spring Is Born

    On the day of Equestria's first Winter Wrap-Up, the pegasus once known as Private Pansy – now promoted to Captain Pansy – leaves the celebrations early to face her former commander. Who is now in prison.  · Impossible Numbers
    4,599 words · 259 views  ·  22  ·  0
  • E The Web Untangled

    Enjoying a peaceful end to a hectic week, Fluttershy contemplates the nature of Twilight's latest diplomatic mission. All while entertaining some unusual house guests!  · Impossible Numbers
    18,435 words · 131 views  ·  12  ·  0
  • E Stinging The Trail

    Sky Stinger wonders how his relationship with Vapor Trail could have survived such a big and embarrassing secret. They're both still friends. He's sure of that much. But now he's actually starting to wonder why.  · Impossible Numbers
    3,470 words · 213 views  ·  15  ·  0
  • E Raven Night School

    I’m bad. My life’s bad. My future is bleak. And I should probably tell you about these weird dreams I’ve been having lately…  · Impossible Numbers
    6,667 words · 109 views  ·  15  ·  0
  • E The Icing on the Hearth's Warming Cake

    Coriander Cumin and Saffron Masala prepare for their first Hearth's Warming Eve pageant. He is less than excited to be attending... but not for the reasons you'd think.  · Impossible Numbers
    8,418 words · 87 views
  • E White Lightning and the Elite Pony

    On Hearts and Hooves Day, White Lightning and Ponet get together at the café, as usual. They exchange gifts, as usual. They hide their own deepest, darkest fears and miseries from each other, again as usual.  · Impossible Numbers
    10,400 words · 77 views
  • E Petalback

    Twilight and Spike are summoned by Rainbow Dash to Zecora's hut. It quickly turns out that an incident in the Everfree has left Fluttershy with a parasitic plant on her back.  · Impossible Numbers
    28,630 words · 332 views  ·  23  ·  2
  • E Her Song of Jubilation

    Coloratura struggles after losing the odious manager Svengallop, and does what she can to get her life back on track.  · Impossible Numbers
    10,252 words · 226 views  ·  15  ·  0
  • E Friends of the Ponies

    Ember wants to see the rise of a smarter, friendlier dragon society in the future. For her dragon subjects, this presents quite a steep learning curve.  · Impossible Numbers
    1,716 words · 524 views  ·  65  ·  1
  • E Eights Week

    Princess Celestia, forced to endure yet another tedious major event, reminisces over much better times.  · Impossible Numbers
    1,685 words · 318 views  ·  39  ·  2
  • E Floral Issues

    The Flower Trio brave the Everfree for the sake of their craft, and soon regret it.  · Impossible Numbers
    4,161 words · 195 views
  • T Magical Deathmatch

    Ponies are missing! Kidnappings terrify Equestria! During preparations for a fundraiser fashion show, Applejack and Rarity become victims too. Once captured, they are forced into a hellish fighting tournament. Their only chance? To win their freedom.  · Impossible Numbers
    25,013 words · 130 views
  • E Hive Versus Hive

    Seabreeze wants nothing more than to stay at home and relax with his family. But after his lucky escape from the Big World of the ponies, he's gained some unwelcome attention, and not just from overawed Breezie neighbours...  · Impossible Numbers
    46,644 words · 132 views  ·  11  ·  0
  • E Practical Nightmares Only

    Golden Harvest always takes pains to be the sensible one for others, but that's easier said than done when Muffins has something "ambitious" planned for Nightmare Night.  · Impossible Numbers
    9,608 words · 379 views  ·  17  ·  2
  • E Splash Dash

    Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and the one and only Rainbow Dash chill out in the river, and thrash out a silly story amongst themselves while doing it.  · Impossible Numbers
    9,822 words · 755 views  ·  44  ·  1

Blog Number 28: Hyperactive Hyperlinks Edition

Four months down, eight to go…

:ajbemused: Firstly, a minor correction: two blog posts ago, I claimed that Beautiful Lives* was the first fic of mine ever to be featured. Petalback proves me wrong, slipping under the radar much earlier than I had expected.

* Which, by the way, shares its title with a recent independent movie. For what it's worth on a public fanfiction site where I'm shamelessly appropriating corporate creations for personal non-profit amusement**, I swear this is sheer coincidence.

** Well, OK, not entirely shamelessly. This is why I never put disclaimers in my fics; it should be obvious to the meanest intelligence they won't do jack if the worst comes to the legal worst. Besides, they look so tacky. Who else but me thinks they look so tacky?

Not once did I suspect this unfinished fic – much less any other fic – had done anything of the sort until I learned how to check the Featured folder for just my own works, and thus got the surprise of the month. While this discovery should make me happy that my work is getting some sort of achievement, I have so little confidence in the Featured Box that I find it hard to muster much enthusiasm for it.

Seriously, if Lapidify: To See And Die can get at least three high-profile reviews – the reviewers including the Royal Canterlot Library, Seattle's Angels, and Skywriter's explicit endorsement on his blog – and still not end up in the Box, then what is that Box good for? In hindsight, my enthusiasm over the development two blog posts ago seems naïve.

Still, I must begrudgingly admit I have a teensy little bit of hope that I get a fic on there again. Maybe. If it's a meaningful entry. :raritystarry:

Long as this blog entry is, I won't bother with a contents section. There are only two major items, and the eponymous item is the second one. The title having done half my job, it pretty much robs the contents section of its whole point.

Mea Culpa

Last month was not much of a month when it came to writing, in that I didn't write anything. The reason being: I have other things in my life, and that month I addressed and enjoyed them. Since I maintain a policy of online anonymity wherever possible, I'm not giving away details, but I will take the opportunity to reiterate a point which I hope is clear by now; fanfiction writing is not my job.

Much as I don't want to appear patronizing or to belabour the point, neither do I want any misunderstanding if I can avoid it, so here it is: I have many unfinished works; I've been overconfident in making promises; I've been reluctant to edit works once they're out and about. I'm not proud of any of this, mind, and I make no excuses to "justify" these flaws, for that is what they are. Would that I could edit them out of my psychology with a pencil and an eraser.

However, this whole shebang is, and always has been, conditional. I'm not getting paid for writing fics, I'm not under any obligations, I'm doing it first and foremost for my own pleasure, and as much as I apologize for appearing brusque or for disappointing some of you vis-á-vis at least one of my pieces, at the end of the day I'm keeping this pastime in perspective. One month with no words is a disappointment, true, but I think we'll all survive the experience. There are plenty of months where that came from, after all, and lots – lots – of good things to do in them besides writing and reading fics. Never forget the many, many joys of life.

That said, I do feel I could have done better. In all honesty, I would like to write something good for May to make up for it. I'd like to think that April will prove to be the exception rather than the rule from now on. After all, I still look forward to the fascinating and continuous processes of human flow, exploration, serendipity, experiment, and effort. Cite me "Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing" any day; contextomy granted, it's a phrase you could happily live by.

List of All Character Tag Hyperlinks

While I was updating the statistics list on the Time Action Glory Challenge group, it occurred to me that I had just checked the numbers of almost half of all the tags on this site. So, went the errant train of thought, why not get hyperlinks to the rest too, put them all together in one place, and arrange them all by order of release for easy access and comparison?

For those wondering, there are currently 209 character tags on the site, from our main hero Twilight Sparkle to one-off villain Svengallop. The Time Action Glory Challenge group monitors the progress of 103 character tags, most of them only added to the line-up this year, though seven have now surpassed the group's target of 100 stories apiece, so it should really be 96 character tags as of this morning. That's still 45.933% to three decimal places (or 45-and-195/209%) of all character tags currently in use.

Each character tag has its own c-number in the web address when you go and look at its tag specifically. Among other things, I was surprised to find that there are nine invalid ones, which is why Twilight Sparkle – the first in the line-up – is counted as c7 rather than as c1, and Svengallop – the last one to be added – is counted as c218 rather than as c209.

Several hours of browsing and copy-pasting hyperlinks later, here we are! The full list of character tags and variants is included below, arranged according to their order in the search dropdown menu and on the new story page. The fics themselves are organized according to the order they were approved or auto-approved. Note that you need to toggle the Mature setting yourself to include or exclude some fics in the final count.

Thus, with but an easy click, we can now compare any two or more tags on story count. All 209 are represented here, along with story counts for all stories on the site and for stories with no character tags at all. Compare and contrast at will!

Just don't ask me to do the exact tallies today. Fun as this category-based diversion was, I wanna do something else for a bit.

EDIT as of 05/05/2017: I have now completed the tallies for each one within a window of one hour, so the exact figures won't strictly speaking be contemporaneous. Ones like Twilight and Celestia are likely to update every hour, certainly, if only by a handful of fics at a time at most. However, and pedantry aside, this should hopefully be a negligible margin of error.

Now compare and contrast, ladies and gentlemen!

Invalid tag numbers: c1, c2, c3, c4, c5, c6, c94, c155, c161

EVERY FIC ON SITE (to provide scale) (108,725 stories) (1,630,477,387 words)

Main Cast

Twilight Sparkle (24,821 stories) (368,088,447 words)

Rainbow Dash (12,777 stories) (164,173,500 words)

Pinkie Pie (7,745 stories) (70,129,183 words)

Applejack (6,826 stories) (77,688,180 words)

Rarity (6,669 stories) (75,857,192 words)

Fluttershy (7,845 stories) (89,671,480 words)

Spike (11,786 stories) (210,415,034 words)

Main 6 (31,832 stories) (709,850,022 words)

Cutie Mark Crusaders

Apple Bloom (2,450 stories) (26,305,123 words)

Scootaloo (3,391 stories) (51,332,474 words)

Sweetie Belle (2,271 stories) (27,460,096 words)

Cutie Mark Crusaders (8,624 stories) (176,114,996 words)

Babs Seed (434 stories) (7,047,985 words)


Princess Celestia (25,278 stories) (490,250,992 words)

Princess Luna (21,305 stories) (449,873,670 words)

Nightmare Moon (3,373 stories) (68,074,920 words)

Princess Cadence (3,494 stories) (57,850,706 words)

Flurry Heart (122 stories) (1,376,151 words)

Side Characters

Gilda (1,143 stories) (24,454,293 words)

Zecora (1,653 stories) (28,580,678 words)

Trixie (3,845 stories) (88,025,585 words)

Cheerilee (1,200 stories) (17,644,167 words)

The Mayor (324 stories) (3,302,434 words)

Hoity Toity (77 stories) (936,748 words)

Photo Finish (98 stories) (1,348,832 words)

Sapphire Shores (71 stories) (1,030,899 words)

Spitfire (1,303 stories) (22,229,850 words)

Soarin' (1,451 stories) (20,322,864 words)

Prince Blueblood (906 stories) (19,347,462 words)

Little Strongheart (81 stories) (1,315,900 words)

Discord (6,712 stories) (117,144,182 words)

Mysterious Mare-Do-Well (205 stories) (4,804,156 words)

Fancypants (411 stories) (6,283,314 words)

Daring Do (800 stories) (14,192,992 words)

Flim and Flam (321 stories) (3,968,551 words)

Cranky Doodle Donkey (75 stories) (512,309 words)

Matilda (29 stories) (386,723 words)

Mr Carrot Cake (355 stories) (3,186,600 words)

Mrs Cup Cake (413 stories) (4,070,683 words)

Iron Will (158 stories) (3,861,325 words)

Shining Armor (3,444 stories) (61,415,817 words)

Wonderbolts (913 stories) (17,240,416 words)

Diamond Dogs (376 stories) (9,724,622 words)

Queen Chrysalis (3,751 stories) (76,188,694 words)

King Sombra (1,994 stories) (38,233,582 words)

Crystal Ponies (295 stories) (5,474,886 words)

Lightning Dust (504 stories) (11,008,285 words)

Sunset Shimmer (3,622 stories) (69,991,912 words)

Pie Sisters (266 stories) (3,244,089 words)

Cherry Jubilee (56 stories) (690,727 words)

Cake Twins (209 stories) (2,616,085 words)

Flash Sentry (912 stories) (14,255,948 words)

Mane-iac (85 stories) (1,328,364 words)

Power Ponies (103 stories) (1,819,345 words)

Cheese Sandwich (271 stories) (2,906,385 words)

Maud Pie (512 stories) (6,040,762 words)

Coco Pommel (226 stories) (4,360,791 words)

Trenderhoof (51 stories) (611,005 words)

Breezies (50 stories) (1,054,800 words)

Suri Polomare (68 stories) (1,190,592 words)

Ahuizotl (104 stories) (1,238,008 words)

Seabreeze (22 stories) (204,022 words)

Fleetfoot (119 stories) (3,634,597 words)

Bulk Biceps (95 stories) (661,922 words)

Tirek (428 stories) (6,961,458 words)

Adagio Dazzle (754 stories) (10,117,180 words)

Sonata Dusk (742 stories) (10,681,647 words)

Aria Blaze (614 stories) (8,888,575 words)

Miss Harshwhinny (52 stories) (576,868 words)

Starlight Glimmer (1,392 stories) (17,552,291 words)

Ember (82 stories) (1,400,184 words)

Limestone Pie (26 stories) (207,165 words)

Marble Pie (34 stories) (498,245 words)

Moondancer (89 stories) (1,893,269 words)

Moonlight Raven (10 stories) (42,868 words)

Sassy Saddles (11 stories) (50,258 words)

Treehugger (25 stories) (203,884 words)

Troubleshoes (8 stories) (34,253 words)

Wind Rider (6 stories) (47,694 words)

Steven Magnet (3 stories) (9,552 words)

Tantabus (19 stories) (165,058 words)

The Smooze (3 stories) (8,207 words)

Zephyr Breeze (15 stories) (131,291 words)

Vapor Trail (13 stories) (139,789 words)

Sky Stinger (11 stories) (37,477 words)

Saffron Masala (4 stories) (28,384 words)

Coriander Cumin (2 stories) (10,143 words)

Sunburst (57 stories) (596,773 words)

Mr Stripes (0 stories) (0 words)

Plaid Stripes (2 stories) (6,203 words)

Thorax (64 stories) (808,579 words)

Yaks (13 stories) (77,854 words)

Bat Pony (171 stories) (6,617,477 words)

Griffons (95 stories) (3,912,577 words)

Minotaur (10 stories) (369,733 words)

Royal Guard (124 stories) (3,663,096 words)

Zebra (35 stories) (1,183,384 words)

Dragons (71 stories) (2,234,330 words)

Twinkleshine (15 stories) (166,444 words)

Coloratura (25 stories) (163,292 words)

Gabby (21 stories) (166,508 words)

Spoiled Rich (18 stories) (177,631 words)

Sunshine Smiles (5 stories) (26,385 words)

Tender Taps (6 stories) (113,054 words)

Quibble Pants (17 stories) (126,160 words)

Garble (23 stories) (286,376 words)

Double Diamond (22 stories) (147,952 words)

Night Glider (17 stories) (285,836 words)

Sugar Belle (18 stories) (119,484 words)

Party Favor (17 stories) (167,974 words)

Timberwolves (21 stories) (338,955 words)

Svengallop (7 stories) (19,914 words)

Apple Family

Big McIntosh (3,535 stories) (48,657,774 words)

Granny Smith (788 stories) (7,280,378 words)

Braeburn (577 stories) (8,173,163 words)

School Kids

Diamond Tiara (1,682 stories) (22,045,058 words)

Silver Spoon (1,047 stories) (14,622,755 words)

Twist (213 stories) (2,675,241 words)

Snips (183 stories) (1,653,728 words)

Snails (247 stories) (2,310,163 words)

Pipsqueak (434 stories) (7,470,589 words)

Featherweight (124 stories) (1,531,410 words)

Zipporwhill (5 stories) (26,573 words)

Ruby Pinch (7 stories) (26,444 words)


Angel (763 stories) (6,219,357 words)

Winona (225 stories) (1,683,950 words)

Opalescence (165 stories) (1,252,372 words)

Gummy (299 stories) (1,852,589 words)

Owlowiscious (158 stories) (1,522,258 words)

Philomena (228 stories) (2,536,007 words)

Tank (164 stories) (981,857 words)

Pets (6 stories) (23,933 words)

Background Ponies

Derpy Hooves (4,194 stories) (67,292,216 words)

Lyra (2,861 stories) (54,473,195 words)

Bon-Bon (1,451 stories) (21,794,785 words)

DJ P0N-3 (3,497 stories) (51,632,985 words)

Caramel (427 stories) (4,966,537 words)

Doctor Hooves (2,050 stories) (28,905,097 words)

Octavia (3,019 stories) (47,249,223 words)

Berry Punch (470 stories) (8,495,119 words)

Carrot Top (402 stories) (6,173,213 words)

Fleur-de-Lis (416 stories) (7,769,697 words)

Colgate (495 stories) (7,616,478 words)

Dinky Hooves (940 stories) (16,093,512 words)

Thunderlane (506 stories) (8,169,885 words)

Flitter and Cloudchaser (266 stories) (4,631,578 words)

Rumble (439 stories) (6,957,797 words)

Roseluck (406 stories) (4,683,267 words)

Changelings (3,163 stories) (70,297,258 words)

Noteworthy (98 stories) (1,017,197 words)

Nurse Redheart (425 stories) (4,877,599 words)

Flower Ponies (109 stories) (1,101,999 words)

Raindrops (136 stories) (2,350,017 words)

Spa Ponies (165 stories) (2,100,426 words)

Sparkler (193 stories) (5,336,013 words)

Cloudkicker (102 stories) (3,151,748 words)

Twilight Velvet (236 stories) (3,311,511 words)

Night Light (162 stories) (2,165,192 words)

Screwball (140 stories) (2,203,127 words)

Blossomforth (21 stories) (861,013 words)

Button Mash (90 stories) (1,270,409 words)

Cloudchaser (10 stories) (161,363 words)

Daisy (2 stories) (14,652 words)

Filthy Rich (33 stories) (391,995 words)

Flitter (9 stories) (95,701 words)

Lily (10 stories) (177,625 words)

Parcel Post (2 stories) (2,955 words)

Pony Joe (11 stories) (227,007 words)

White Lightning (3 stories) (14,240 words)


Original Character (42,905 stories) (877,830,578 words)

Other (28,991 stories) (507,601,452 words)

Anon (371 stories) (4,745,902 words)

Self-Insert (240 stories) (5,904,742 words)

Equestria Girls

Dazzlings (234 stories) (5,871,630 words)

Applejack (EQG) (86 stories) (726,259 words)

Dean Cadence (34 stories) (1,023,877 words)

Indigo Zap (30 stories) (421,671 words)

Lemon Zest (47 stories) (434,460 words)

Micro Chips (5 stories) (106,054 words)

Midnight Sparkle (33 stories) (394,257 words)

Pinkie Pie (EQG) (111 stories) (748,656 words)

Principal Cinch (35 stories) (318,797 words)

Rainbow Dash (EQG) (185 stories) (1,846,584 words)

Principal Celestia (94 stories) (1,979,726 words)

Rarity (EQG) (96 stories) (1,320,005 words)

Sandalwood (7 stories) (129,769 words)

Sour Sweet (47 stories) (307,722 words)

Spike (EQG) (45 stories) (895,117 words)

Sugarcoat (39 stories) (333,601 words)

Sunny Flare (27 stories) (304,860 words)

Sunset Shimmer (Demon) (19 stories) (377,798 words)

Twilight Sparkle (EQG) (317 stories) (6,918,977 words)

Vice Principal Luna (75 stories) (1,291,752 words)

Fluttershy (EQG) (128 stories) (1,868,951 words)

Main 7 (EQG) (582 stories) (18,353,550 words)

Shadowbolts (EQG) (107 stories) (2,579,296 words)

Timber Spruce (22 stories) (255,659 words)

Gloriosa Daisy (16 stories) (194,500 words)


Chancellor Puddinghead (7 stories) (65,758 words)

Clover the Clever (36 stories) (648,354 words)

Commander Hurricane (23 stories) (987,206 words)

Princess Platinum (25 stories) (597,526 words)

Private Pansy (8 stories) (369,624 words)

Smart Cookie (12 stories) (149,052 words)

Starswirl the Bearded (110 stories) (2,722,471 words)


Nightmare Rarity (12 stories) (181,177 words)

Tiberius (4 stories) (17,192 words)

Princess Amore (6 stories) (99,205 words)

Radiant Hope (16 stories) (649,846 words)

NO CHARACTER TAGS WHATSOEVER*** (608 stories) (8,878,695 words)

*** And yes, they actually exist, and how populous they are too!

Will post again if anything interesting comes up. Until then, Impossible Numbers out.


Fics Accepted By Equestria Daily

I'm no longer calling this a list, because it's not really a list at all. Practical Nightmares Only went to the pre-readers a few weeks back. Not yet sure if it will be accepted.

New Stories? Sadly, no. Here's hoping May is a better month.

New Updates: No.

Story Count: 51

My Total Story View Count: 42,205

Age: 1,967 days, or 281 weeks. I think I made a mistake in my last count, which should be 1,939 days, or 277 weeks.

Working: 19 days in December 2011, 2x366 days for 2012 and 2016 leap years, 3x365 days for 2013 and 2014 and 2015 combined, and 121 days so far in 2017 up to today.

My Follower Count: 123

My Followed Count: 79

Report Impossible Numbers · 124 views · Story: Petalback ·

Blog Number 27: A Spring In My Step Edition

Quarterly Report 2017. Three months down, nine to go...

Season Seven is on the horizon, as is a movie that isn't about anthropomorphs unless you count the cat. I dare say that, at the very least, there will be some episodes in Season Seven which I will treasure, and who knows? Maybe the movie will be a spectacular success, though I personally suspect it'll be slightly above average at best, with possibly one or two gem moments.

As you can guess, overall I don't find myself particularly enthused about either. What little has been leaked makes me think "meh" or "oh dear, it's becoming the Starlight Glimmer show".* Given the autonomy of the fandom and the strength of the earlier works**, they both seem like courtesy details at this point.

* That said, the Maud episode looks pretty interesting. If it's similar to "The Gift of the Maud Pie", I might add it to my favourite episode collection. In some ways, I'm a very undemanding audience.

** I don't think I'm being a knee-jerk nostalgic here, at least not entirely. Many Season Six episodes more than make the cut as far as I'm concerned, and as much as I think Season One is the best, I'll admit that it doesn't really reach full throttle until about halfway through. It also lacks a bit of the edge and variety that makes the later seasons especially entertaining at their greatest; could we really imagine "Rarity Investigates", "Stranger Than Fan Fiction", or "Viva Las Pegasus" in Season One?

So what is going on in the fandom? Well, at least in the fanfiction arena, or more narrowly the part of the fanfiction arena which currently occupies, I'm a little more involved. See the gory details below, past the contents section.

Also, I've peppered the blog with a few tangentially related pictures, if for no other reason than to break up the eye-watering walls of text. Apologies in advance if they're a bit distracting.

Princesses: Imposing Sovereigns and Imposing Deadlines

Prompts: Group-Plugging Time

Prompts: The Monthly Contest Group

Private Pansy: Founders of Equestria

Private Pansy: My First Group

Princesses: Imposing Sovereigns and Imposing Deadlines


I hardly need introduce this contest, do I? Who am I going to reach who hasn't already been reached?

Consider the story of the explosion: FanOfMostEverything started a contest, apparently through a combination of Daedalus Aegle's reading and FoME's own simple whim. Initially, it garnered a modest if respectable amount of attention, intended only for one week and with maybe a dozen people applying for prompts. Then FoME was asked to extend the deadline another week, some of the bigger names got involved, and within days it snowballed into a huge event pulling seemingly every fanfiction bigwig from seemingly every corner of the site. It was almost beautiful watching it grow into something so far-reaching, almost like a community event that struck gold.

I of course was one of the earliest applicants, and a more laughable trainwreck of participation would be hard to imagine. Initially accepting the "Celestia the Schemer" prompt, I started off a little overconfident and proudly proclaimed that I would finish my piece within a week according to the original deadline. Little did I know at the time that Metal Celestia would not be tamed; though I started strong and even shouldered the rapidly increasing word length, a couple of days before the original deadline I crashed and couldn't write another word. Perhaps this is what happens when you explicitly compare yourself to Lightning Dust, and then ignore the ending of "Wonderbolt Academy".

Swallowing my pride, I accepted the deadline extension, but as one hydra's head fell, another lunged forwards. Now the story was expanding at a rate that would make an utter mockery of even the initially generous word limit. Roughly halfway through the second week, I stared at the growing novella and swallowed the last few crumbs of my pride which hadn't gone down the first time. I regretfully surrendered the prompt.

Which in hindsight was stupid, as I learned afterwards that incomplete fics were perfectly acceptable. Figures. :ajbemused:

Of course, that's not a good time to throw yourself back into the mess, and in desperation I landed upon the Spa Ponies - Lotus Blossom and Aloe Vera - and the "Warrior" prompt, which was the one I felt was the most open-ended of the bunch. Truth be told, the choice wasn't completely random; I've had a Spa Ponies fanfic idea developing for years, and some of its details leaked into this parallel incarnation, most obviously their country of origin being Spatsa rather than Equestria***. Besides, it's frankly shocking how often the tag is used on the site for quote-unquote "Mature" fics. If it wasn't for those fics, the poor ponies' tag would be eligible for the Time Action Glory Challenge, which specifically deals in underutilized characters.

*** Granted, in Healing Properties I had Aloe Vera originate from Tshekhovia. In the original concept, however, they were sisters from the same nation. Most of the other details, such as their differing personalities and the grimness of Spatsan life, remained intact.

Source: modified screenshot

Just before the deadline struck, I spent three frantic days trying to pour out as much world-building, characterization, and plot development as I could fit into the word limit. History swung round again and slapped me round the face; the fic exploded once more and threatened to turn into a second novella. So many details fought for attention in my head that, in hindsight, I'm not surprised "incoherence" was a repeated criticism of the result. Given that the final fic is almost 16,000 words long, that equates to almost five hours of writing a day.

And frankly, I loved it. For a given definition of "loved".

It was quite a rush, though. One thought led to two more, fission begat fission, and the chain reaction kept the story up as new ideas and details filled my mind. A scene in which Lotus gets hit with a deadly curse while erecting a national flag led to a scene in which she has to confront Aloe's antipathy for the title of "princess", which led to another scene in which Lotus defies medical care and watches both a demonic entity and a pirate fleet on the horizon. Say what you will about the nonsensical connections between them, but make no mistake those connections were forged in fire.

But yeah, I hit the deadline and basically handed in the introduction to a story rather than an actual fic. I think mine is the only one that's incomplete, and it's still the second longest of the bunch.**** No idea where it placed among the thirty-nine other contenders, but given the competition and the severe problems with the fic's flow and presentation, I'm not betting much higher than the bottom half. Of course, it was around this point I slapped my forehead and cried, "Gadzooks, I could have submitted Metal Celestia incomplete all along!" A very strange end to what, after all, has been a very strange contest.

**** Aragon handed in the longest fic of the bunch: Evil is Easy, Governing is Harder. It's the only one to surpass the "do not surpass" limit of 16,000 words, so I'm laughing at this lack of self-control. Aragon also won the contest in a landslide victory, so I'm laughing very, very quietly.

If it sounds like I suffered during it, then perish the thought. I had a whale of a time during it, I did a good amount of writing, and I cannot wait to leap back into the fray once more. What an event!

Er... True, it compromised some of my own writing plans, not least of which was my own prompt challenge on the Time Action Glory Challenge group, but that's a small price to pay for the fun. A "Second-Born" version of the event is continuing, with no prizes or limitations, for those who only heard about it too late or who never finished their works on time, and I may yet go back to it for inspiration.

FanOfMostEverything et al are going to claim a rest, the pansies. But as for me, heigh-ho! I'm ready to begin my next assignment. After all, throwing yourself against your limits with no thought for the consequences worked so well for Lightning Dust, now didn't it? :raritywink:

Prompts: Group-Plugging Time


It's just as well I'm good to go, because a couple more challenges have just come along for the month. True, I actually created one of them, but causality schmausality. The point is: they exist.

Recently, bookplayer made an interesting if saddening point about the underutilized tags like Mr Stripes' and Zipporwhill's; there may be a vicious cycle keeping them down. They're relatively obscure characters with few if any followers, who presumably get disheartened by the lack of attention and stop looking for fics, which in turn reduces the incentives (specifically those to do with garnering attention) for writers who might otherwise keep them coming. The end result is that, if Mr Stripes ever gets any fics, they'll be so rare and sporadic that his tag will remain a virtual nonentity.

Now, I can't speak for Mr Stripes myself, if only because I'm wondering how he was considered a tag-worthy candidate to begin with. However, it's a genuine crying shame for many of the tags, because all told, those characters are on par with their colleagues in the hundred-stories and thousand-stories arenas. I'll be blunt: if Lyra can get a few thousand fics mostly because she sat on a chair funny and bounced a lot in Season One, I think established side characters like The Smooze, Pony/Doughnut Joe, the Our Town citizens, the staff of The Tasty Treat, Sky Stinger and Vapor Trail, Coloratura, Seabreeze and his Breezie tribe, Trenderhoof, Moondancer, Hoity-Toity, Cherry Jubilee, Suri Polomare, the Griffons, and the Founders of Equestria itself can safely be described as "hugely overlooked". I'm not saying I'd prefer quantity over quality, but when they're not even getting the former, I think something has gone a bit askew and needs addressing.

To that end, I've started the biggest prompt yet known to the Time Action Glory Challenge: Obscure No More!***** Since another possible reason for the lack of interest is lack of integration, the aim of that prompt is to mix it up with other groups and produce fics that service both.

***** OK, OK, this isn't a hard limit to cross, but work with me here.

For example, maybe Gabby and the Griffons would get more attention if their fics also coincided with the aims of the World-Building Alliance, fleshing out the lands of Griffonstone and the culture of griffons as a whole. Perhaps an interest in the Equestrian Historical Society would see the comics-related tags get their dues.

A lover of classic literature, and thus a member of the Classic Literature Lovers group, could find a way of retelling A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, arguably the first time travel story, and then add a twist by throwing the Tantabus into the mix.

More prosaically, Quibble Pants and Sassy Saddles might get more attention if reimagined as "friendly enemies" with more popular characters like Twilight Sparkle and Rarity, and so also add to the corresponding character groups. Marble Pie in a Mystery group? Moondancer for the Hope, Love, and Care group?

Or, more ambitiously, Princess Twinkleshine the Schemer as a contender for the Imposing Sovereigns' "Second-Born" challenge? Seriously. Princess Twinkleshine. No one sees the potential in that? :trollestia:

So, wanna test your imaginative mettle against cold hard limits, or just fancy a lark and wouldn't mind contributing any old how? Then, as a totally-not-biased-party-and-creator-of-said-challenge, I bid you join in, and good luck to you. The challenge ends when the year does, so take your time if you don't feel like committing just yet. Or tear your way through with a dozen fics a month, if you prefer. It's entirely up to you.

Prompts: The Monthly Contest Group


Naturally, it would be most unbecoming of me to promote only my own contests, and this is a legitimately interesting one besides. Over on The Monthly Contest Club, SPark has begun a new challenge to get that group back in the game.

I'll probably just be reiterating their points, but I'll try to put it in my own words. Here's the gist of it:

The theme for the challenge is "Fairy Tale". This has been left deliberately open to make the contest more flexible, so please don't jump in asking what the heck that actually means. Besides, there's such a thing as Wikipedia.****** And Disney basically produced a bunch of fairy tales. You must have grown up with Disney, right?

****** Also, TVTropes makes for a good resource. They even break the fairy tales down into tropes so you can start twisting the parts and asking the mechanic's immortal question: "What happens if I fiddle with this bit?"

The fic is restricted to 6,000 words maximum, which, according to this site's estimate of 250 words read per minute, makes a 24-minute-long fic, or a longish episode's length. Presumably, this is to avoid the fate that bedevilled FanOfMostEverything to the point that his results blog came a week later than intended. Other conditions include: no mature fics; new stories only; no limit to the number of stories you can submit; stories will be judged based on five categories, listed on the OP for said contest.

Lastly, the deadline is April 22nd, so you've got less than three weeks to tackle this should you be so inclined. To put that into perspective, that could be one week for planning, one week for writing, one week for editing. There are other guidelines, such as "submit the story in the right folder, for Pete's sake", but you can deal with that nearer the time or just straight-up ask SPark for clarification.

Obviously, the final verdict for joining or abstaining rests with you, but I am a strong believer of the philosophy of Troilus and Cressida: "what's won is done; joy's soul lies in the doing".******* Seriously, it could be a good bit of fun to jump in and take part. Friendship is Magic practically runs on bits of fairy tale logic, and even if you dislike the genre********, there's always the Fractured Fairy Tale to beat it over the head with. It's only a small story, after all. Practically a writing exercise, which would pump up the authorial muscles and get a healthy flow of imagination going.

******* Well, of that out-of-context quotation, really. The play as a whole is OK, but a miserable experience I wouldn't wish on most people. However, since I met that line out of context, its unintended meaning stuck, and I've always had a soft spot for out-of-context scavenging. Call it creative repurposing.

******** Although that raises bizarre questions concerning your involvement in FiM to begin with...

Besides, somebody has to retell The Little Mermaid with Pinkie Pie. :trollestia:

Private Pansy: Founders of Equestria


I'm starting to feel like an advertising column, but without the gross payment. Ah well, 'tis good news and all.

Having mentioned the Founders of Equestria, it's incumbent of me to point out that Titanium Dragon has recently created a new group: Founders of Equestria. And bravo to him! Of all the overlooked characters, these seem to be among the most deserving of more fics. In fact, "Hearth's Warming Eve" is one of my favourite episodes of Season Two, between its simple moral of intergroup harmony, its tantalizing world-building details, its simplistic but potential-creating cast of founders, its creative re-imagining of Christmas in another setting, and its suitably wintry and haunting windigoes*********. Admittedly, a lot of it is a game of "How much do you like watching Rarity, Rainbow, and Pinkie argue with each other?", but I always feel good whenever I rewatch this particular episode.

********* By the way, how in blazes do you spell the plural? I've seen it with the "e" and without the "e", but never definitively one way or another.

It's currently trending as THE group, members-wise, but why settle for good when you can do better? If you wish to show solidarity with the history squad, then head on over and join the ranks. Founders of Equestria cries out for devotees of Ancient Roman Pegasi, Medieval Unicorns, and Renaissance Earth Ponies.

Private Pansy: My First Group


Having seen Titanium Dragon's announcement for the aforementioned group, I was puzzled by his claim that it was the only one, and so went to have a look. There are, as it happens, a smattering of related groups, including ones devoted to specific founders. Clover the Clever and Princess Platinum have their fans, though I wonder if most of that is because Star Swirl********** is an associate. Commander Hurricane obviously gets some attention, because if there's one thing a fandom of cute and friendly ponies loves, it's a warmongering jarhead whose title is a few letters away from being "Caesar". And surprisingly, Smart Cookie's group exists too, though barely. I doubt her subtle snark played a part in that one.

********** Yet another spelling headache. Is it "Starswirl" or "Star Swirl"?

Yet Chancellor Puddinghead and Private Pansy don't have groups at all. I confess I was severely disappointed with this state of affairs, but then among the founders they also have the lowest story counts. I mentioned this oversight in a reply to the blog, but then a thought struck me. It went something like this:

"Instead of sitting back and waiting for someone else to make the group, why not do it myself?"

"Well firstly, because you've never done it before and you have little idea what it entails."


"Also, you'd have to feed it and clean it out and flush it down the loo if it died."

"You know what? Why not? I'll go ahead and do it anyway. Besides, if it goes wrong, there's always the loo."


And thus was born my first group. I've tried to make it at least a little more interesting than such groups can be, but it's still in its rudimentary stage, and the unbelievably high story count is mostly because I organized them by genre tag, and some stories (i.e. all but one) have more than one of those.

For now, I've sent invitations to those who have actually written fics for Pansy, on the basis that this demonstrates a tentative level of prior interest in the character. Beyond that, I don't feel comfortable with the idea of sending more in case it comes across as badgering, but any advice and tips would be most welcome.

Lastly, there's not much on it at present. The forum contains an introductory thread, a list of Private Pansy fics (which currently consists of a couple of hyperlinks to tag page and search page, but it's a work in progress), and a post with links to related groups of potential interest. I may post more interesting discussions and activities later on, but I figure I should take baby steps with this group.

And obviously, if you want to join up, that'd be just dandy. It is "Fluttershy meets Spartacus", after all. :yay:

That's all for now. I should darn well think so, considering the essay I put out above. Until next time, Impossible Numbers out.

Source: modified screenshot


List of Fics Accepted by Equestria Daily

Splash Dash has given me hope again; it was accepted and published, with some good reader responses. :scootangel: Also, I apologize to my pre-reader for procrastinating over the changes they recommended. I'm not ungrateful, I swear. I'll get around to the editing at some point. Just not sure when. :twilightsheepish:

New Stories?: Three. Transient is what happens when you think "Well, I got featured for a horror fic; maybe there's something in that genre." Healing Properties I've already discussed above. Metal Celestia was the fic that could have surpassed it in the contest if not for my bumbling. And no, the title is not a reference to the musical genre. It has a deep thematic relevance to the story.

Well OK, and I literally took the Metal Gear Solid route of, and here I paraphrase Honest Game Trailers, "smashing some awesome-sounding words together". It is, after all, a fic about political skulduggery, attempted assassination, and an awkward friendship between a spoiled princess and a mage who can't afford a decent hoodie.

New Updates: Petalback got a new chapter, its longest and arguably darkest to date. This also came with a good reader response, though sadly not to the same degree its debut received.

Story Count: 51

My Total Story View Count: 40,916

Age: 1,937 days, or 276 weeks and 5 days

My Follower Count: 120. Now that's a good sign. I am as ever grateful for the following, even if half of them haven't been seen in weeks!

My Followed Count: 79

Oh, and one more picture, because why not?


Behold Princess Twinkleshine.

Seriously! She's got Celestia's old colour scheme! She's a time-travelling princess! Fanfic idea right here, you guys!

Report Impossible Numbers · 84 views · Story: Metal Celestia ·
  • Viewing 26 - 35 of 35
#35 · 14w, 1d ago · · ·


No worries. I'd been wondering about White Lightning's tag ever since it appeared on the list, and when I discovered she hadn't really garnered much fandom interest before now, I thought I'd fill a vacant niche and try my hand at a little characterization exercise. After all, the fandom's done more with less before now.

By the way, I'm part of a group dedicated to giving underused character tags some more attention: Time Action Glory Challenge. Whatever ideas you have for White Lightning or for anyone else, they could be realized during one of our prompt challenges, or they can be written any time at your leisure. It might be right up your alley, if you'd like to join in.

#34 · 14w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

I just saw your latest story, White Lightning and the Elite Pony, pop up somewhere in my feed.

Before I get around to reading it, I just want to say:

Someone finally posted a story using the White Lightning character tag! :yay:

Unfortunately, I couldn't really come up with any story ideas for her myself yet, but I've kinda been looking forward to seeing her tag used for a while now... :twilightsheepish:

#33 · 14w, 5d ago · · ·

New Benchmark: 100 Followers as of Friday 10th February 2017, yay! :yay:

Now get me another hundred. :ajsmug:

#32 · 18w, 1d ago · · ·


No worries. I found it through the Royal Canterlot Library. For a short fic, it packs some impressive psychological insight, social commentary, and atmosphere-building into a simple thousand words or so. Good stuff. :ajsmug:

#31 · 18w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Well, thank you for the following. I'm glad you liked A Good Filly:twilightsmile:

#30 · 20w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2368567 Ah, thank you so much. And happy holidays! :twilightsheepish:

#29 · 20w, 6d ago · 1 · ·


You're welcome. The Legend of the Gift Horses contained some fascinating ideas, and was an entertaining read. Thank you for writing it. :twilightsmile:

#28 · 20w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Ah, thank you for the favorite! ;3

#27 · 105w, 1d ago · · ·


:ajsmug: No worries. You earned it with The Flower's Dream.

#26 · 105w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Thanks for the watch! :pinkiehappy:

  • Viewing 26 - 35 of 35
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